[300] From 0 to 300: How One Scary Choice Changed Everything

Ever feel the air shift and know something is about to change? That’s where we are as we hit our 300th episode—a milestone built on messy first takes, wobbly courage, and a relentless promise to show up even when it’s scary. I trace the arc from a whisper in 2021 to a life I couldn’t have sketched back then: leaving a first business, closing a dream editor role, stepping onto stages, hosting retreats, and choosing motherhood after once saying “never.” The common thread isn’t polish. It’s motion.

We dive into the power of honouring past versions of ourselves—the ones who said the awkward thing, recorded in closets, and tried ideas that didn’t land. I talk about learning styles through the lens of Human Design, why my 3/5 “trial and error” path looks like throwing spaghetti and then teaching what stuck, and how your path might prefer research and plans. Either way, traction beats theory. Expect failures and let them sort you toward what actually fits. Four years from now, you’ll thank the you who took one brave step today.

This conversation is also a love note to community. Not everyone has a ride-or-die cheerleader at home, so I built spaces where belief is contagious and momentum multiplies. From tiny actions like borrowing a library mic or texting a potential collaborator, to big leaps like launching a retreat, the magic shows up when you do. If fear is loud, bring it with you. If you’re cringing, you’re growing. Hit play for a candid, practical push to stop waiting for perfect timing and start shaping the life you want, one small, honest action at a time.

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Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a nudge, and tell me the first step you’re taking today—I want to cheer you on.

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Transcript

Welcome And Big Season Energy

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about hardest to be your damn self. My name is Jess, and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and oh man, it feels like a big season lately. I don't know what it is. Maybe you're feeling it too. You can feel the energy in the air normally. When I'm feeling it, typically there's other people who are feeling it too. And maybe that's you. Maybe you're just feeling the I don't know the depth of the energy. That there's just something going on in this world. And I don't even want to say it feels heav heavy. It doesn't feel heavy for me. It feels hopeful for change. And I'm leaning into that. I got my glitter goggles on, as per usual, and I'm just sitting and soaking up this energy that there's something big on the other side, and I just can't quite put my finger on it yet. And it absolutely terrifies me. And today what's really, really special about this beautiful day that we are sitting down and recording this is that it's the 300th episode of the Selfish Confidence podcast. 300 episodes since 2021, late 2021 was when I first started this. And now, if you're listening to this in real time, we are spring of 2026. That's four years. Really, it's like three and a half, four years in the making of this podcast. And I think about, oh man, I'm already emotional. I can just feel it, right? I'm thinking about Jess, who sat down and started that podcast in 2021. Finally got her little microphone and decided to put her voice out there. She had this whisper. If you don't know the original story of how this came to be, I heard this whisper in my ear, and that sounds like the craziest woo-woo thing I've ever said, but I just did. I heard the name of the podcast, I heard that I was starting a podcast, I just had this feeling, and I had also had people tell me that I should start one, and I just said, ha ha, who's gonna listen to that? Who's gonna listen to that? And you, you're gonna listen to that. Now you can look back and and realize how you know limiting we can be on ourselves. But I created this podcast truly out of a feeling I had. I can't even remember the conversation I had with my husband to bring it to light, to be like, hey, I'm gonna start this podcast. I have this feeling. Because it must have been the craziest thing. But he's been on board with every single one of my crazy ideas. So shout out to Glenn. Thank you for that. Because without him, I wouldn't be sitting where I'm sitting today and bringing this to light for you. And it's so simple when you think about it, right? Hit record, put your voice out there. But if, oh man, I should actually go back and listen to that first episode. To me, it makes me cringe, right? Because you go back to that version of you who didn't know what they were doing. I remember it being a very emotional episode of me actually telling the story of what truly happened in Barbados and what got me to starting this podcast, what was going to lead me on this journey of starting the year of confidence and finding myself again and being really vulnerable about not knowing who I was, where I was going, what I was doing. And it was a real messy middle of uh not even the middle, it was a real messy beginning of this journey. And sometimes when you're 300 episodes in, you forget that version of you that started scared. You forget that sweet, beautiful baby version of Jessica who was in her office space, sitting on the floor, actually oftentimes in her carpeted closet, because it was the best place to get the quietest sound. And at that point, I had a puppy who was just out of control and barky all the time. Not much has changed, right? Except actually she's sitting beside me in our guest room bed and she's all curled up and sleeping like a beautiful angel. So I guess some things have changed, but it's just so wild to think of how far you've come, right? It's so it's actually easy to look back and to be like, oh my gosh, that version of Jess, you're such a sweet little baby angel. But if you think about this moment that you're in right now, listening to this exact podcast episode, someday you're gonna look back at this version of you and say, wow, how so much has changed since then. I've grown so much, I've done so much, because we're always growing, we're always evolving. And I think sometimes we forget that in the present moment that we're in, too. And today I really wanted to make this episode a celebration of the versions of myself, the versions of Jess. And if you've been listening since the beginning or along this journey at all, the versions of you that we've gone through in these last four years, it's crazy when you think about where you are now and where you were in 2021, right? How much has changed in your life because we've all been through massive changes in this time. If you were in the exact same space, I highly doubt it. If you're listening to this podcast, I doubt you are in the same space that you were in four years ago, right? We've grown, we've evolved, our beliefs have changed, our lives have changed, our energy has changed, the things that we want, our dreams, our desires, maybe even the spaces that you're living in. For us, for me, like they've all changed, and we're in a totally different house than when we first started this podcast. I say we being obviously my family, my husband, and I. I've closed the chapter on so many different areas of my life, including leaving a network marketing business, the first business that I ever started that really created the foundation of this journey. I also closed the chapter on being a digital editor of a women's wellness magazine. Like that was the coolest thing to be creating cover stories and to be, you know, sharing wellness tips and writing for a magazine was just one of the coolest things. But that chapter came to a close too. And really looking at all different areas of my life, what has totally changed, right? Now I'm a mom, which when I first started this podcast, I said I would never do. Never, ever, ever. That is not for me. And here I am now, 13 months into being a mom and it being the best chapter of my life. And there's just so many things that has changed that I never knew was going to happen. Speaking on stages and doing retreats and international retreats and even retreats here in Nova Scotia and people coming from all over the world to be a part of it. Like that has been the craziest thing. The people that I've met on this journey, the connections that I've made, the friendships I've developed, all because I got vulnerable and I started a podcast, and oh man, I feel that one so deep. We forget the impact that we can have when we go after our dreams. When we do the scary thing that's been on our heart and put ourselves out there to make a friend, right? To text that person that we got their phone number to say, Hey, do you want to grab coffee? Or like your life can completely change with one simple action, like getting on a microphone or talking to a stranger in the grocery line. Like these two things are similar. Some people often put one on a higher level than the other, but they're both equally as scary and they can be equally as life-changing when you start to take action in a direction for whatever it is that you want. When I look back on episode one or two, fifty-two, one hundred, one hundred and fifty, there are so many episodes that I still cringe at. Like if I'm being totally honest with you, we often look back at old versions of ourselves and you're like, what was I thinking? That haircut, oh my gosh, right? But I think about that with some episodes, specific episodes. There's some that I'm like, oh my gosh, that did not land. That was so weird. There or even beliefs that I've had on this journey. I think a lot about some quotes that I have said through this podcast that I just do not have those beliefs anymore. I am a very different version of myself today than I was in a lot of these seasons, right? That's a whole part of it. I've always been very transparent on this being a space that we're growing together, we're figuring this out together. I have no idea what a year from now is gonna look like, and I am definitely different than I was one year ago and putting this podcast out. I think about the podcast episodes I put out in my postpartum journey where I didn't know who I was anymore at all. The fact that I was even sitting down and recording podcasts, sometimes I'd just like think of Jess a year ago and shake my head at her, like, what were you doing? You're crazy. Right? Because sometimes we forget in the moment about being present and being where we are, and we just focus on the things that we need to get done. And we put things out there just because we gotta check them off a list. And there has been, and I have said this so many times, it's not how I like to podcast, but there's definitely still podcast episodes and versions of me that were showing up that way, especially in my postpartum journey. If you've been through one, you're like, you probably were also looking at me being like, you're absolutely nuts, Jess. Yeah, I was. But that's part of the process too. That's how we can learn and grow. And if we ever decide to do it again, I can do it differently. In the human design space, I have a three-five in my profile. The three is all about trial and error. And if you're into human design, you understand what that means. And if you're not, I'm gonna explain it to you a little bit. For me, my type learns by trying different things, by throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, by experiencing things, and then teaching others how not to do it my way. I feel like I'm really, really good at that. I like to try new things, put things out there, experiment, have fun, see what works and see what doesn't. And you could say, Jess, don't do it that way. It's it's never gonna work, and I still have to try it for myself. That's part of who I am. And I think that these last four years on this podcast, these last 300 episodes, has really shown me that that's how I work best. That's how we work best. I share my experiences with you through this microphone, and oftentimes you resonate with it. I was just watching on my social media a video of someone who was connecting with a podcast episode and what she had learned from it and how she applied it to her own life, and I was literally sitting at my desk crying because that's the coolest thing ever. I experimented, I figured something out, or didn't, shared it with you, and you could apply it to your own life and figure it out for yourself too. We all have different ways of learning and growing for some. And again, if you're into human design, I think this is the coolest thing and the coolest tool to help you with your confidence. I'm happy to help you dive into it a little bit more. But you could be a person who accumulates knowledge and you got to do all the research. My husband has that. He's the one who's going to read the instructions and get all the information for me, and I am the person who's just gonna start grabbing some screws and a hammer and know that those two things do not fit together, but I'm gonna try to figure it out. We all have different ways of learning and growing and expressing ourselves, and that's the most beautiful thing about this journey is that we're all learning and navigating as we go. I want you to take a second and think about the version of you that you have been crapping on because they didn't know better. They don't know what you know. You have to learn it, you have to grow, you have to make messy mistakes, you have to say things that someday you're gonna cringe at because that's part of the evolution and that's part of growth. And the version of me, there's gonna be a version of me who probably thinks about the 300th episode of the podcast and cringes at their her thoughts, like, oh my gosh, I'm like, Jess, what were you doing? Uh sometimes when I'm writing in my journal and I've been doing the morning pages from the artist way, and I just like am writing, freehanding, a whole bunch of different stuff. And sometimes in my voice, I'll hear like the future version of me almost making fun of this version of me right now. We are so hard on ourselves, right? Reading through these things. And it's like, I don't know what to write right now. Oh, well, maybe I'll have chicken for dinner. Like stuch silly random things that I can be writing about because I'm supposed to fill three pages of whatever comes to my head, and sometimes it's a great flow about philosophical things, and most of the time it's my grocery list, right? It's just part of the learning process. But I can hear the future version of me finding this journal 10 years from now and opening up and reading it and respecting who I am now, but also laughing at her because she's silly, she's a silly goose writing these things. But if you are not putting the effort in to do some of these things now, the silly goose things, the things that make you feel so freaking nutty, if you don't take the time to do those things now, that future version of you is never gonna exist. That version of you that you're glorifying that is going to be laughing at this journal, well, she's never gonna exist because you didn't do your journaling, right? The version of me that I'm laughing at back in 2021, starting a podcast and having these crazy realizations that I was supposed to change my whole life through this process. This version of me today that's sitting here recording this episode could not exist without her, right? So instead of crapping on these cringy versions of you that came before, let's celebrate her. Let's love on her, let's give her that big hug because she was doing the scariest thing. Putting herself out there, doing something that maybe we wouldn't even have the courage to do today. Had I waited till 2026 to start a podcast, I'd have that voice in my head that would say, Oh, there's too many podcasts out there, or oh, I could never do that. I don't have any time, I'm a mom now. Like I just could never, right? Had I had waited till right now, it would never happen. So what is it that you're waiting for the perfect time to do that you're just not taking action on because, well, it's not the perfect time. It's never gonna be the perfect time, and we know that we've talked about that so many times, but I bet there's something on your heart that you have been wanting to push for and wanting to do. There's a lot of things on my heart, I could tell you right now, but we put them off because again, list of many excuses that we have. But right now, if we were to start four years from now, we'll be looking back and saying, Oh my gosh, what a joke she was. Cringy, cringy, cringy, but she freaking did it. But she freaking did it, she showed up, she put the effort in so that the version of you four years from now could be living their dream life. And I laugh when I think that because the version of me four years ago didn't even know what my dream life was gonna look like. Like she had no freaking clue that she would be recording this in her cute little basement office while her baby sleeps upstairs. Whoa. That one hit me deep for a second there. I had to take a little pause to have a good cry here because I'm literally living my dream life that I didn't even know was my dream because of a beautiful version of me, a messy version of me who showed up on the microphone and cried and put herself out there in the scariest way possible. At least for me at that time, it was a really scary way of doing it. And so today's episode, I just wanted to remind you to do the scary thing. The thing that has been that whisper in your ear, or that gut feeling that you have, or that emotion you've been feeling, you need to be taking action on that. You need to do it messy, you need to be afraid to be made fun of, you need to be afraid of the future version of you who's also gonna make fun of you. You just need to start. You just need to do it. Do it scared, do it terrified, do it energetically, do it with the best attitude, do it with the worst attitude, do it, just do it. Nike's telling you, just do it because it will change your life. It will change your life if you start to show up for that dream, that itchy thing in your body that you've been wanting. You have to go after it. At least try. At least try. Right? There are so many things that I have also tried over these last four years to put out there to dabble in to see if it would come to life a little bit and it did or it didn't, and that's okay too. But now I know that that wasn't for me because I tried it, right? Some of these things that we often say, oh well, I'm afraid to fail, or I'm afraid, you know, it'll flop. I am the worst critic on myself when things fail and things flop. But the truth is that's who I'm here to be. I'm here to fail at things, I'm here to try things, I'm here to experience different things in my life because as a three in my profile, that's what I'm here to do. And so when we're crapping on ourselves for some of these things that are flops and failures and mistakes that we've made, when in reality they're the things that are realigning us into where we need to go and where we want to see, right? You don't know that that's not what you want to do until you try it and you're like, that's not for me, right? I didn't know I was gonna love motherhood until I tried it. That one's a really hard one. That's why we took so long to think about it because I was so afraid that that would happen that I or that I wouldn't like it, right? But you can't go back, you can't return them. That's one that I would say maybe just think about it before you do it. But everything else, get the podcast mic. Go to your local library, you don't even have to get the equipment. Go to your local library. They probably have one for rent, right? You don't even have to financially dive into anything. You can have so many tools, you can borrow something from a friend, you can just try things, right? You can go to a local pottery class and see if that's something that is fun for you. Start a business and let it fail, right? Let it fail. Go into it almost with the mindset that it's gonna fail. Because when we have those messy moments and we start to play and try, that's where the magic happens. It happens in that effort, it happens in that action. And if you're sitting and staying stuck in this mode of like, I wish, oh, that'd be nice. I someday, maybe someday, you're never gonna get there. And if you never take action, you're never gonna get to be that future version of yourself that gets to laugh at this version of you right now because you're just gonna be the same version of yourself and just laughing at yourself in the mirror, and that's just weird. Honestly, I do that too. But let's be real. How great would it be to look back four years from now and say, girl, you did it. Like you did the thing, you're living the life that I wanted to live, and I'm so thankful that you started. You just have to start, you just have to try something, dip your toe in or dive in, cannonball in, go all in because it's going to change your life if you do. And if you don't believe me, because you've tried so many things and it's never gone anywhere. What's one more? What's one more? What are you doing instead? Watching Netflix, watching another season of Love is Blind. Okay, me too. I watched two, but what are you doing instead? Wasting your time, wasting your energy, fading away, scrolling on your phone. Nah, we're not doing that anymore. This is the season for action. So I want to know what that thing is. Like, please send me a message. Like, I'm serious. Send me a message. What is that thing that is on your heart that you want to go after? And what's one little tiny thing that could take you there? Try it, start it, dip your toe in, tell someone about it. Maybe it's me, maybe it's your partner. I'm always telling my husband, Glenn, my crazy ideas, and he's just like, doesn't honestly doesn't even roll his eyes anymore. I don't know, I don't know how he does it, to be honest, because some of these ideas can be absolutely nutty and really expensive. Like some of the money that I'm putting down for things like a luxury retreat in Barbados, you shouldn't be blinking your eyes at. But he does. He trusts. He trusts in me, he trusts in this journey. And so I need you to find that person that wholeheartedly is like, hell yeah, do it, girl. Find those people. And if you do not have them, message me about the selfish sisterhood because I promise you, we will cheer you on, we will celebrate you, we will help give you the tools to bring your dreams to life, to take action in some way, because we need these kind of communities in our lives. Because I know not everybody has an amazing supportive husband like I do. I got really lucky over here. Not everybody has an amazing supportive bestie and an amazing supportive sister and an amazing supportive community around them. But sometimes. That also takes effort to create, and that's why I built the selfish sisterhood. So you'd have a space that you could come in and find your sisters and find your besties and find your partners and find the people for you. We haven't had any, you know, dating uh success. That's actually not true. I hosted side note real quick. I hosted a selfish social. I can't even remember. I don't know when. It was a walk it was a long time ago now. And this social, it was a splatter room. We were going into a paint splatter room, and there were two women who had signed up for it who I didn't know at all. I was like, I don't know who these people are, but like so cool, they want to come and be our besties. Come to find out. They were on their second date and they had just found it on Eventbrite, and they're like, this looks like a fun date. I'll buy tickets for this. Well they're like buying it for this like women's networking evening out, and they were on a date, and they are now engaged to be married. So I guess I do have some dating success. Not a lot happens in the sisterhood. Haven't had any of that, but this was like one of those moments. I still talk to them. They are wonderful human beings, but yeah, they're getting married soon. So I guess you never know. You never know. You could come to one of my events and find the love of your life. Hey. But that's what that's what happens when you try, when you put yourself out there and you really go all in on what it is that you want. Things can happen, magic can happen, and you might have no idea what's about to hit you until you take some action. And that's how I feel today as I sit here recording the 300th episode of the selfish confidence. And if I could go back and see 2021 beautiful Jess sitting there crying on her floor and putting her voice out there for the first time in the most terrifying way, I would tell her, like, sis, it's gonna be worth it. It's gonna be so freaking worth it. The stages you're gonna speak on, the events that you're going to host, the retreats you're gonna host, the experiences you're gonna have, the friends you're gonna meet because you put yourself out there is next level. You will never believe me until you see it. So just do it and keep going. Your whole life is gonna change. Like, whole life from then to now, the timeline is insane. Four years, everything is different. I still have the same husband, same dog, and same cat. But other than that, everything's different. Everything. And you just do not realize how impactful one small decision can be. So today's episode is your reminder to do it, to do the thing that you're absolutely terrified to do. I'm also gonna play this back to me because I have a couple things that are absolutely terrifying me right now. And I know I need to just do them. Oh man, but I am scared, right? And so I just have to take my own advice in this season too. This is my reminder to you. I'm never so far out of this that I can be sitting on my high horse and being like, oh yeah, I know it, and I'm doing all the things. No, I am 100% still in it with you in this messy season just as much as I was four years ago. I'm just in a new mess, a new belief that I need to push through and to start. I have a couple things on my heart that I need to bring to life, but I'm absolutely terrified. So if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, well, we can be terrified together, please send me a message so that we can be buddies in this journey of taking action for the things that we want in our lives. I am so freaking proud of you for being here, for being a part of this journey with me, for trusting me and your confidence, and also for your support. I don't think you realize how grateful I am for your listening time, for being in your ears, for having the opportunity to sit and hang out with you. Like, it is the biggest blessing of my life. And I'm so, so, so thankful for you. Oh man, extra emotional. Today on 300th episode, I am extra emotional because I am so incredibly thankful for you. There would be no podcast if there was no listeners, right? There would be no retreats if there was no attendees. There'd be no sisters if there was, you know, it's just so wild to me. And I'm so, so, so grateful. So I love you so much. And I just want to support you, cheer you on, know what your dreams are and help you get there. So I hope you have the best week. And I cannot wait to talk to you next time. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget, you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.