Self(ish) Confidence

[283] The Comeback Episode: Year of Confidence - Postpartum Edition

• Jess Clerke • Episode 283

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After a six-week break, Jess returns to share her journey with listeners and explains how a health scare prompted her to launch a "Year of Confidence: Postpartum Edition."

• Balancing motherhood, business, and self-care in limited weekend time slots
• Feeling naive about motherhood getting easier as baby develops and becomes more active
• Realizing we're still using 2020 mindsets in a 2025 world
• Experiencing a mysterious full-body rash that forced prioritizing health
• Creating confidence through simple daily practices rather than overwhelming overhauls
• Focusing on nutrition and limiting social media as first steps in renewed confidence journey
• Noticing many people feeling unsettled energy like "someone is shaking the world"
• Understanding there's never a "perfect time" to prioritize yourself

If you're interested in starting your own confidence journey or joining our Selfish Sisterhood community, send me a message on Instagram @jess.clerke.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome back. Welcome back I say that to myself because it's been a while. Welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and maybe you've been missing my voice. If you're one of the people who listen to this podcast weekly and when it downloads you listen to it. Hello. I have missed you and I love you so much. If you're new here, I also love you. I'm just so glad you're here. It's just been such an interesting adventure and I almost feel like I don't know if I'm even 100% ready to be back on this microphone. But we're going to give it a go and I'm going to give you a little life update things that have been going on behind the scenes and just what is happening, what is happening over here and in the next couple months. We are actually getting ready to celebrate four years of the Selfish Confidence podcast. It's four years and as I look back and I think about the journey that we've been on that got us here to where we are today, it blows my mind on the transitions and everything that has happened in life over these last almost four years, and I've never taken a break as long as I have these. Last I think it was about like six weeks, a six week break. It just got to the point where I needed a little pause in my life. I am a bit naive. I'm a bit naive and as a solo entrepreneur, I am the one who is producing these episodes, putting them out there and doing a lot of the work to create them and bring them to life, and not even a lot of it, pretty much all of it and when summer started, I only have a small pocket of time to be able to sit down and record these episodes.

Speaker 1:

I've talked about it before. On Saturday mornings, my husband, glenn takes the baby and I get a little bit of time to do things. The baby and I get a little bit of time to do things, and that also includes my self-care and probably cleaning the house and doing some of the chores that haven't been able to get done, and also my business that I'm running is also in this little pocket of time and it's just so many things that I'm trying to smush into a few hours, and we had a few weekends that we were traveling, so I missed my little bit of time to be able to record and so I just kind of started to get backed up and backed up, and backed up and overwhelmed really, with a lot of work and life and also, at the same point of sleep regressions and figuring out motherhood, where I am naive and thinking that it was going to get easier and easier. With time I now know that that is just not the case, right? Sure, maybe sometimes they're sleeping more and sometimes they're also sleeping a lot less. I very much miss my days of my sweet little newborn in my arms and me being able to work with one hand and get so many things done while he slept on me, while he slept in a little docketod or while he slept period, the things I could get done and now it's just busy. Days are busier. He is crawling now, he is healthy, which is so wonderful. He is eating food and just thriving in so many ways is what we want for our babies.

Speaker 1:

But it also means just less time for me, less mental capacity for me, and I really needed to just press pause on something, and that happened to be the podcast, because I lost that time on the weekend to sit down and record. That's really much, that's pretty much the big thing, and so now I'm trying to like bank up some episodes before I relaunch and send this out to you, because I don't want to have to do that again. But I also want a little bit of wiggle room in case one we're traveling or something comes up or I didn't get any sleep and I just do not want to be the person who comes to this podcast and sits on this mic just for the sake of putting out an episode. I really want it to be genuine, I really want it to come from a great place. I really want it to be genuine, I really want it to come from a great place and I want it to come from the right energy, and that just was not happening over the last little bit.

Speaker 1:

So I needed a little break and I'm curious where it has been. You know a while. How are you doing? How are things over there? Did you take a little pause in your life? How's summer going? Where do you need some space and some love?

Speaker 1:

And if you haven't asked yourself that question, I really challenge you to do so, because I think we have been trying to keep up with the motions and I don't know about you, but I blinked and we're in 2025. Like I feel like we're still in 2020, 2021. Like I don't know where five years went. And as I think about it, I'm just like whoa, like we are still putting in a lot of the tactics and thought processes and and workload that we have done from 2020 and 2021 and all of a sudden, like we're in 2025 and the whole world has changed, like everything has changed and is changing as we go forward and I've needed a little bit of time to just reevaluate and think about where I can simplify things in my life was, yeah, now I'm a mom, but also because everything has changed, and where can I simplify things in my life, in business and in life and in all of the things? And like where can I update my thought processes and my workload? Because we're in 2025 and there are some tools that now exist that just didn't exist five years ago. And it just is like this moment of like mind blown.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you have been thinking that too, or you haven't even given yourself the time to like pause and realize like it's been five years and everything is different. And so if we're still doing life and business and podcasting and all of the things the same as we did five years ago, I think it's time for an upgrade. I think it's time for us to do things differently. And I've just been really trying to lean into that because it's just it is time to do it differently. And so that doesn't really mean any changes for the podcast. It does mean some changes for my business. It does mean some changes in how I'm trying to show up in the world and in my life. It definitely means some changes for my social media and both in consumption and creation.

Speaker 1:

So I just wanted to come on and say hello and give you a little update, and give you a little update, a little update from a personal perspective, and also just like what to expect from this podcast going forward. If I'm being totally honest, not much is changing. I'm going to be keeping posting episodes weekly on Mondays, like I have been for a really long time. I think we need a confidence boost on Mondays. I don't know If you have a suggestion for a different time that you think might be better. I am really open, an open ear right now as we figure out a new season of what we want here and where we want to go. I'm open to suggestions, but it really is still focused on that aspect of confidence, on that aspect of growth.

Speaker 1:

But the version of me, just the same as the version of you, is very different when it comes to confidence and what we're going to be talking about and how we can have more confidence in this season than the version of us that came out four years ago when we first launched this podcast. And that's why I've decided to launch another year of confidence for myself, and I haven't shared this on social media, I haven't put it out there in the world to be like, hey, I'm doing a year of confidence, because last time I did it, I posted almost every single day with an update of what I did and what's happening, but I've almost really felt like this has been a journey for me and something that I really don't want to put on my to-do list. I don't want there to have to be, you know, vlog posts every week with like what I did, and all this stuff Like I don't need one more thing to do right now. But I do need to do something for me, and this version of me didn't exist six months ago, before I had a baby, even a year and a half ago when I got pregnant. It is just a whole new person and that still is really strange to me a whole new person that I haven't met, that I haven't totally understood what they want and where they want to go.

Speaker 1:

And so I decided to bring back Year of Confidence, postpartum Edition, because I really wanted to get to know this version of me and I really wanted to take some time for myself and remember what was important and what is important in the season, and so August has really been focused on that. And funny enough not it wasn't funny, it was not, haha funny, but funny enough just the same as the first time I did it, I almost tried to push it off more and more and more. So I remember the first time I did the year of confidence and, if you're new here, it's a project I created for myself that really launched me into this career of being a confidence coach, being a self-discovery coach and really helping people to guide them on this journey through this podcast, through events, through retreats and all of that. It's a project that I just really pulled out of my butt and decided I wanted to become more confident and through that process I learned that a lot of other people did too confident, and through that process I learned a lot of other people did too, and now that I'm postpartum I had a baby six months ago I'm trying to figure out that again and I want to meet and discover this new person of myself, that I am right and so the needs that I want and the things that I want are very different than the version of me pre-kids, the version of me who didn't even want kids, you know, four years ago. And so I've been thinking a lot about this and through this process I was like, okay, I am going to start August 1st. I'm going to start August 1st, I'm going to focus on my health, big focus being nutrition, and big focus for August was to limit my social media consumption, because I really felt like those are the two things that were going to help my confidence the most right now, and not even from a weight loss perspective, but more from just like an energy perspective, from I need some energy to keep up with this little guy. I need some energy to just feel like myself again. And I almost pushed it off, right, because last time I thought I would do it when I first came home and then months passed and it didn't end up starting until October, because I just got to the point where I was like, okay, I have to do it. I have to do it now or I'm never going to do this project. And I think that would have happened this time too.

Speaker 1:

Except I ended up having a really strange health situation this month and it came out of nowhere. It was actually the end of July really. It started. I had this one red mark on one of my breasts and I am breastfeeding, so we just said, okay, I showed it to my husband. He's like, okay, well, let's just keep an eye on it. And I was like, yeah, let's just keep an eye on it, it's not a big deal. And it slowly started to get bigger and bigger and bigger. And I was like that's strange, that's really strange, and, as someone who hates going to the doctor and someone who I have a hard time right now taking care of myself in this season because I'm taking care of so many other things that I just like you know, it's not a big deal, it's just a red mark.

Speaker 1:

But I've heard a lot of horror stories about mastitis and I was like I don't want that, I'm gonna catch it early. And so I started to do research on mastitis. I started to ask all of my friends and if you're not familiar with it, it is like an infection that can happen in your breast when you're breastfeeding, and I have heard it to be awful, okay. So it really scared me. So I made a doctor's appointment out of fear and I started to ask my friends who had had it before and they're like, oh yeah, a rash is one thing, that's a sign. And I was like, oh no, it's happening. And so, yeah, I made an emergency doctor's appointment, went in and she's like, no, it's not mastitis, I think it could be a yeast infection on your breast. And I said, cool, not actually cool, but like, ok, I can deal with that. And she, she said use this cream and then it it'll go away, okay, well, a week passed and actually during that week one of my very good friends, ashley O'Connor, who's been on this podcast several times, was in town and so we had like the best week playing tourist and going all around, and so it was like an adventure after adventure after adventure junk food, treats, sweat, because it was so freaking hot we were in a heat wave, all of the things like just like such a whirlwind of a week and a busy week that I don't think I totally noticed that it started to spread from my breast to down my arm and I said that's a little strange to my whole body, like I had a rash from the neck down all the way to my feet and it started to get a little uncomfortable and I was like, okay, I gotta go back to the doctor.

Speaker 1:

And I went back to the doctor and actually I went to my naturopath because I needed another perspective and also maybe an IV would help to give me some nutrients that maybe I wasn't getting. I thought it might have been a SIBO rash, because I have had SIBO before. I thought it could be an allergy. I still am not 100% sure what caused this full body inflammation issue, but what I can tell you is that it scared me into starting the year of confidence early, and not even early like on time when I said I would actually do it and taking my nutrition seriously and cutting out the foods that I think could have been contributing to this rash, including dairy and gluten and a lot of my sugar consumption. So that is a little behind the scenes of like just where things have been happening and what's been going on and I still really don't know 100%. The answer could be a yeast infection. I didn't know that that could develop into a full body rash.

Speaker 1:

Maybe someone's listening to this. They're like that happened to me. Sis, send me a message, please do, because I am not 100% sure on what has fixed it. It is no longer there, praise the lord, because I kind of did everything at the same time Took some medication, cut out these foods, really focused on getting out of the sun, like so many things, and there is, yeah, not really a total answer yet, but I do know it really scared me into taking my health seriously, taking my life seriously and reminding myself that if I don't care for myself, who's gonna take care of my baby? Who's gonna take care of my family? Who's going to do all the things?

Speaker 1:

Like, I have to put myself first and as someone who's worked with so many moms, it's really easy for me to tell other people that and now that I'm in that situation, reminding myself that I needed to, I find that really hard. Maybe you're listening to this. You're like, yeah, I can give that advice to my family, to my friends, all day long, but when it's time for me to take my own advice, it almost feels like a joke. You're like, haha, when? With what time? Good luck, but I had to, and so the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind, in that case, of just slowing down a little bit, getting out of the sun and really taking my health and my nutrition seriously right now.

Speaker 1:

So that has been a little behind the scenes on what's been going on life with a baby and also just like forcing myself into taking care of myself, forcing myself into a year of confidence that I don't know if I would have started when I said I would. Can you relate to that where you're like I've been saying I've wanted this thing, this goal, for so long and I just have not taken the action to get there. Yeah, you don't want to have to be at that point where you need to force yourself to do it right. So think about it. Maybe that thing right now is a good thing for you to lean into.

Speaker 1:

So, when it comes to the year of confidence, what I did before was, every month I had a few things that I wanted to focus on, a few things that I really wanted to put into play, and I like to keep it simple. I like to keep it simple, I like to keep it small. If you have done my program confidently, you I break this down for you to make it so simple in 10 minutes a day to work on your confidence, to work on yourself in manageable, bite-sized chunks, and I needed to do this for myself. I have always been a person who's like let's overhaul everything 75 hard, like we're going all in baby, and then you last a week and it just never worked for me. So when I started to do the year of confidence in a way that I could focus on one small thing every single day, it made it so much easier for me to keep going and it didn't have to be perfect.

Speaker 1:

I remember the first time I did it it wasn't we were in the middle of renovating this house that we live in now, like like top to bottom. We were just in like this busy season and the old version of me would have thrown the towel in and said like, oh, I'm not doing this anymore, never again, because I'm too busy. Same with it. Now, right, I'm like triple busy with a baby and life and business and all of the things. Like it's easy for us to say now's not the time until something happens, and you're like, oh, it has to be the time.

Speaker 1:

So when it comes to the year of confidence, now postpartum edition, my focus in august is on my nutrition, focusing on cutting out those few things that have not been helping the situation Okay, and then also on my consumption of social media, and I said that. So when it goes, when we go into September, I really want to, almost like habit stack on top of those things, so limiting my social media, focusing more on creation than consumption, also on my nutrition and then maybe starting to move my body a little bit more, maybe starting to work on my intuition a little bit more. I haven't exactly pinpointed what I want my focus for September to be, but I like to keep it really simple and some kind of simple action like five minutes of meditation a day, because when I keep it simple it actually helps me to stay consistent. I don't have time for an hour of staring at the wall every single day for meditation, right, like that's just not the reality that I'm in. I don't have time to, you know, do two 45 minute workouts every single day. That's just like not it right now and that's also not going to help the goal that I have, which is mental health number one, working on that overstimulation so I am not crying alongside my son every single day. Those are like two big focuses and also just like making sure that I feel like myself. Even if I don't know this version of me right now and I don't totally understand, I do know when I'm out of alignment, I do know when it just doesn't feel right and I really want to realign, to refocus and to do the things that feel good for me, and maybe you're in that season too where you're just like something doesn't feel right.

Speaker 1:

I have had so many sisters lately and a lot of people on social media who I talked about this a few weeks ago, just like something feeling off, something feeling a little funky in the air and the amount of people who messaged me and they're like me too. I thought I was alone in this and I'm like I have gotten so many messages of people who are just kind of feeling the turmoil right now. They're just like feeling this, like energy of, just like blah. Like it feels like someone is picking up the world right now and literally just shaking it and we're all just like whoa, what was that Like? And I truly like that's the visual I have in my head Like someone is shaking the world up right now and we all think it's just us, we're the only ones going through this, when in reality, there is so many of us feeling this energy right now. If you're sensitive to energy, you are feeling it and it is heavy and it is hard, but I do believe that this is the evolution for our humans. Like we need this shake up. It sucks so bad, but without the shake we're never going to move forward right. Like without this full body rash, I was never going to propel into a year of confidence again Without, you know, there being some kind of health thing.

Speaker 1:

Do we often take our health seriously before that. No, not really right. How many stories have you heard of? It's like after some crazy health journey is when we start to think about our health again, right. Journey is when we start to think about our health again, right, and I wish that that wasn't the truth, but it is so. With that being said, and just with the season, that I feel like we're all in right now.

Speaker 1:

As I come back and start to bring weekly episodes for you and chat about things, I would love to know what it is that you're facing right now. What is it that you need a little extra love with a little extra support with? I want to be able to create this platform from, of course, my experience and what's going on in my life. That's how we have built it this whole time. But also, what do you need to hear? What are you going through Like? It really helps me to know what the community and the collective is feeling and going through in order for me to bring the right guests on. I've taken a really big pause on guests coming on the podcast right now because I really want to curate the perfect guests for the season that we're facing right now and not just bringing people on for the sake of bringing people on and bringing people on, because they've also messaged me and said hey, I want to come on your podcast. That's just not how I do it. I want it to be very specific for the seasons that we're in, but it really helps me to know what it is that you need, what it is that you're going through.

Speaker 1:

And the same thing in the sisterhood, in our Selfish Sisterhood community. It's a community that I created for women to be able to come together and get to know themselves, to gain confidence and practice this version of who they are that maybe doesn't totally feel safe out loud in the world, maybe they don't have those people and those friendships in the real world where they can really 100% be themselves, and so I created a space online that allows them to do that, where they can share exactly what they're going through, where, without judgment, only love, and they can share all different kinds of things. And every month we learn something new, like last night. Last month we were learning about managing our stress through our health, through different avenues, where it's like stress is not helping us my sisters, it's not, and I bring guests in to talk about these things. In September I have my very good friend, hillary, coming in to talk about content creation and creating content from a self-care strategy and taking care of yourself first like that being a business strategy.

Speaker 1:

And I'm just so excited for this community because as it grows and we grow together, we get to talk about all different types of things. Every week there's something new. We've added in a book club. We've also added in a create and connect call, because I just found that we were losing that aspect of play in our lives and I wanted a place every month or even every other month where you could come work on something fun Like even if it's just coloring in a coloring book, like actually taking time to pause and create and have fun was really helpful for a lot of the sisters. I asked them if this is something they'd be interested in. They're like yes, everybody wanted something where they could just create.

Speaker 1:

Whether you're painting or working on your book or playing with your dog, like it really doesn't matter what you're creating. What matters is that it brings you joy and we're going to share and chat and connect on it and it's just a space for you to just totally lean into what you need and I'll put all that information in the show notes for you, both on the Confidently you program, if you're looking to start your own year of confidence, and on the Selfish Sisterhood, if you're like, okay, I need a space, I need somewhere to hang out, I need somewhere to start my own confidence journey. Maybe it's with you, jess, maybe it's with you, jess, maybe it's with the sisters and send me a message. We can chat about it too. But I'll just put all the information in the show notes for you so we can start your journey into becoming more confident. Because I don't know, when we start to believe and trust in our intuition, it really does make a difference.

Speaker 1:

And again, we're in a season right now where things are shaking us up and it really takes focus and clarity and intuition in order for us to feel confident in a world that is changing every single day. Yeah, and we're all going through it together. There is not a single sister in there who is like I've got it all figured out and shows up to every call, and they're like don't you worry about me? Honestly, if that was the vibe, they would not be in the sisterhood, they don't need us. If you're feeling that way and if that's you, I love that for you, I'm so happy. But I'm sitting here with this like tarot spread from earlier. That's like, oh, this totally makes sense.

Speaker 1:

Everything in my life that has been falling apart and has been crumbling, I know, is falling into something. It's falling into something and it's just been a really eye-opening journey and I think sometimes taking a pause, like I did over the last six weeks, can be really helpful. It can be really helpful for us to open our eyes to some things, to see some things. And I'm not 100% ready to be back, I should say, because I just yeah, it's just been a lot Like, it's been a lot taking care of my little guy he still hasn't totally figured out sleep. But I also think if we keep pushing things off just because the timing's not right or there's just not enough energy, or your baby's not sleeping, or maybe work is crazy or insert the thing that you're going through If we keep pushing things off until the right time, we're never going to do it. There is literally never going to be a right time.

Speaker 1:

I think the world is just going to keep getting noisier. Social media is going to keep getting noisier. Life is going to keep feeling crazier, and crazier and crazier and unless we do something about it, it's never going to feel better. It's actually us working on our confidence. It's us taking time for ourselves. You know, sitting and being and listening to the music that helps us to feel better. I like to put sound baths on, and my little guy is like so amused with it. He thinks it's the coolest thing to hear these sound bowls. But, like, if we don't take the time to regulate our nervous systems and to sit down and to trust ourselves and to just play and create, I don't think we're ever going to feel better.

Speaker 1:

And so, as things get noisier and things get busier, the best thing you can do is to prioritize yourself. The best thing you can do is to put some of these things into practice that help you to feel regulated when the world feels beepin' nuts I was gonna cuss, but I don't want to do that with the kids in your car, okay, but like to freaking nuts, okay, we need to be taking time, even in the smallest chunks, even in the five minutes that we have, even if it's something as simple as cutting out a few foods, like I'm doing right now, like that is the most that I can do right now is just to focus on my nutrition every single day, and even that feels like a lot some days. Right, and I'm going to tell you, cutting back on your sugars doesn't get easier. They say it gets easier. I don't know if it does, because I love my sugar. If you know that we were joking about this last night at dinner, if I were to get a tattoo, it should be a little gummy bear, because like that is how much I love candy and also like I just think that that is so perfectly me. A little gummy bear, that's it. So it's just it doesn't get easier.

Speaker 1:

What does happen is that you show up for yourself, you show yourself some love and it just helps to give your soul that little like right and it just like feels so much better to do something small for you in the time that you have. So I would love to hear from you, send me a message, connect with me on Instagram at jessclerk and tell me how you've been, what are you going through and what do you need some support in right now. And yeah, I hope that you feel a little inspiration today to do something for you, to take yourself in the direction and the path of dipping your toe in a little bit of confidence, because you deserve it, sis. So I love you so much. Until next week, my friend, I will talk to you soon.

Speaker 1:

What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.

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Jess Clerke

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