Self(ish) Confidence

[270] What's Your Green?: Finding Magic in Being Different

• Jess Clerke • Episode 270

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Have you ever felt different, like you don't quite fit the mold society created? What if that "weirdness" is actually your superpower? Drawing inspiration from the movie Wicked, this episode explores how embracing what makes us unique—our personal "green"—can transform our lives and impact the world around us.

Fresh from watching Wicked, I've been reflecting on Elphaba's journey and how it mirrors our own struggles with authenticity. Born different and magical, she was taught to hide her true self. Sound familiar? So many of us downplay our natural gifts because they make us stand out, when these differences are precisely what make us extraordinary.

Looking for your people to help you embrace your green? Get on the Self(ish) Sisterhood waitlist.

Take a moment today to consider: What's your "green"? What gifts come naturally to you that others might find challenging? Instead of hiding these qualities, what would happen if you leaned into them completely? Send me a DM if you're still discovering your unique magic—I'd love to help you uncover it and watch you defy gravity.

Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!

Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I am just sitting here sipping some chamomile tea like an old granny. And just sitting in this moment of every decision I make right now is a choice. Like everything comes with a choice. Like I have to choose to sit down right now with my tea in this moment, in the maybe only moment I've had all day to sit down and record this podcast episode. And it also means that there is a choice of leaving the bathroom dirty because that needs to be cleaned, washing bottles or laying and sitting with my son a little bit longer, or all of these different things that I could be choosing to do right now, but I know that this is where I want to be and this is the choice I want to make. Glenn knows it too, because as soon as he's, you know, we finished dinner, we finished watching an episode of Schitt's Creek and he's like Jess, do you want to go record that podcast episode that you have been saying you've been wanting to record? And I was like, oh right, yes, and the choice is to sit here and to do this right now with my cup of tea and to hang out with you, rather than getting ready for bed or all of the things that we could be doing. And you're making a choice, right now, too, to sit and listen to this podcast episode, or to go for a walk or wherever driving your car. Whatever you're doing right now, you're making the choice to listen to this episode instead of all the other things, like listening to a different playlist or a different podcast or all the things. And I just appreciate you so much for being here, for making the choice to be here, and for being a part of this journey. That has been almost what feels like a roller coaster so much ups and downs and navigating what the heck this podcast is and this podcast has always been about coming along with me on these journeys and figuring things out as we go. And we've been doing that now for three and a half years, which is wild to think about almost to 300 episodes here pretty soon. And as we do this and as we grow, of course this podcast is going to evolve.

Speaker 1:

When I first started Selfish Confidence I never thought I would be here One still podcasting and two with a baby. With a baby, I might have to start doing nap trapped episodes because I have a lot of time, but I'm often stuck under a baby and I just never imagined that to be the life that I would be living and the season that I'd be in, and I also never imagined to like it as much as I do. That's the truth, and sometimes I have a hard time saying that truth out loud because it just was not my truth for so long. I don't know if you've ever felt that way where you have just stepped into a new version of you, a new season, a new person that you have become, and it's really hard to accept it, to especially accept it and say like, hey, I like this and I've never been someone to really go through the journey without sharing it, but also to go through the journey without really navigating the feelings that I've been feeling and the thoughts that I've been having and just trying to figure things out as we go. That's why we're here, right?

Speaker 1:

We're here to talk about it today, and I wanted to talk about a couple different things today, the first one being, of course, a little baby update. Our little guy is two months old, which is wild. He's going for his needles here very soon and I've just been navigating how fast time can go when you are in the thick of something and maybe you've been feeling that way too with anything right, it could be your job, it could be you know, a pet that you have, it could be a kid, whatever for you, but like time can fly, and time flies so much faster now that I'm older. That's just the truth. Everyone said it was going to happen. It happened even without a kid, but now it's like what? Two months has gone by, I have a two month old, I have a kid.

Speaker 1:

Like all of these pieces that really can sometimes be hard to grasp and navigate, and especially if you're in a season of figuring out a new identity, which I am right now figuring out a new life. It can be really hard sometimes to even realize that time is passing, but time is passing, it is. That's the reality. We know it every single day and again, we have these conscious choices to make, choices based on what we want in our life. So where is it that you want to go, what is it that you want to do and what are you willing to sacrifice to get there? I am willing to sacrifice all the dirt in my house right now so I can sit down and hang out with you and really chat about something that's been on my heart and also remind you that you really do not have to do this season, whatever season you're going through right now alone.

Speaker 1:

I know sometimes it can feel like we are, especially when you're listening to podcasts. I love podcasts because it makes me feel like we're sitting down, we're hanging out and we're just like a part of the conversation together. When I'm listening to interviews or other podcasts, I just feel like we're so connected, even though in reality we're not. We're not in the same room and maybe you're even listening to a podcast episode that's not in real time. When you're listening to this, it's like maybe it's a year from now and you're in the future and tell me how is it? But, honestly, like you could be in a totally different situation, a totally new place in the world, all of the things, and we can feel connected. But in reality, it'd be so nice if we could do this face to face, that, if you could sit on a chat once a week or hang out in our morning club or really just be connected in a way that is next level, in real time, and if that's something that you've been looking for a community of really incredible women who come together and want to see the best for you and for your confidence journey. The Selfish Sisterhood is an amazing place to do that.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to put the information for the wait list in the show notes, because right now doors are still closed. I wanted to take a bit of break of letting people come in and out of the sisterhood while I was on maternity leave. Whatever this maternity leave is and what it looks like, I have no idea. We're still figuring it out but I really wanted there to be space, that I didn't have to think about bringing people in and onboarding people into the sisterhood. So it's been closed for a little bit, but I know at some point, some point soon, we are going to want to open the doors back up and really allow there to be opportunity for new people to hop in. And I'm tempted to do it sooner rather than later, because we have a really epic workshop coming up in April. I have my very good friend, lindsay Contra, coming in, who was just on the podcast talking about financial therapy, and she's going to be coming in talking about financial self-care and helping you with different tips for you to feel really confident with your finances, and I'm just like, oh, this is one of those, this is one of those workshops I don't want you to miss out on.

Speaker 1:

We also have things like cis chats and biz chats and morning club, where you can come and hang out with us in the morning. We keep our mics totally off, but it's a way for you to have that extra community for the people who maybe work from home, or my introverts, who are looking for a little extra, you know, community and friendship, or maybe for my new mamas, because right now, most of the time, I am just sitting there with a baby laying on me and that's just what the morning club is. It's for whatever it is that you need in this season, and I just want to remind you that community is there for you If you are looking for something really extra special. You're looking for real connections with real women from all over Canada and the U? S, with the common interest of your growth and your best interest in mind. So I'll put the information in the show notes for you. Doors are not open yet, but I have a feeling it's going to be coming soon. So get on the wait list so you can be the first one to know when doors are open and when you can hop into the Selfish Sisterhood.

Speaker 1:

But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about today. I just really wanted to share with you a little bit about what's coming up in the Selfish Sisterhood today. I just really wanted to share with you a little bit about what's coming up in the Selfish Sisterhood. But I really wanted to talk to you about the movie Wicked. Did you watch it?

Speaker 1:

I wanted to go see it in theater so badly. I've always been a very big fan of the album. I've never seen it on Broadway, but I've always been a fan of it and I have been wanting to see this movie since it came out in theaters and I'm pretty sure it came out in what like November, maybe December, but I was very pregnant and I couldn't go an hour without barfing, let alone sit into the theater for three hours and potentially, you know, woof my cookies embarrassingly in front of everyone. I just didn't want to do that, you know. And then the plan was, when it came out that you could rent it once I went into labor, it would be my distraction movie. We were going to rent it so I could watch this three hour movie and just distract myself from three hours of like laboring at home. But my labor went pretty quickly and so I didn't get to do that either.

Speaker 1:

And now, how many months ago was that? That's like four months ago, since the movie has been released. It just got released on Amazon. You could watch it, and I was like, okay, now is the time. And so, on the weekend, glenn and I sat down and throughout the day of having to pause it many, many times, we did get to finish the movie, and since then I have been thinking a lot about the lessons that we can learn from a movie like this.

Speaker 1:

That's how my brain it's where it's always going to go is what can I learn from this? What lessons or what is it teaching us? There's always a lesson in everything, especially in some of these really inspirational movies Like okay, if you haven't seen it, I'm not going to give you any spoilers, I'm not going to tell you anything that happens, but there are some really powerful moments and I'm sure you understand or have heard the storyline, even without seeing the movie, to know that there are some powerful moments that can happen in this, and it's really about being true and standing in your power, like being true to yourself, and I've been thinking about this since I got to tell you a little bit about it. Anyways, when she was born, when Elphaba was born, she was born green and her parents were just like get this baby out of here. This is the weirdest baby I've ever seen. That is crazy. No, we cannot have a green baby, and I would probably, since recently going through birth, I'd probably be a little surprised too if my baby came out green.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to lie to you, but along with Elphaba being green, she was born with some really big powers. She's really powerful, and I can only think about this moment when you were born a little bit weird, a little bit different, and I know a lot of us here in the Selfish Confidence community can feel that way. Right, can feel like an outsider, can feel a little different. But to be born so vividly different and also so magical, and the world reminding you and telling you over and over and over again that you're not good enough, that you're weird, that you'll never amount to something, you are unlovable, right? Her family basically showed her that she was unlovable because she was so different, and I could cry even just thinking about this right now.

Speaker 1:

For anyone listening who feels like they're unlovable or they're an outsider, I just want to remind you that you are not, that you were here for a reason, that you are so gifted in this magic that you have for a reason, even though you feel like it's a curse, it's actually a gift, and I've been thinking about this green aspect, where she was born green and that green, the difference that she is, that green being her with, or maybe even you've developed over years. What is that thing that makes you so unique and so special and also maybe makes you feel like an outsider, like a weirdo, like you don't belong in this society and in this world. But what is your green? I've always felt like my green is how much I love people, which maybe you're just like Jess. That's a really silly one but, honestly, like people are like Jess. You might love people a little too much.

Speaker 1:

Telling your friends I love you, or making people feel uncomfortable with a little bit of a longer hug, or just even working really hard to make people feel seen and loved and heard is a gift, but it also can be that thing that people are like that is a little weird, right. Like that makes people feel a little uncomfortable. And it can also be the personal growth that I really like to work on and helping women to feel next level in who they are. But it can come with some weird stares. Even starting a podcast, right, was like a weird thing to do. Even back in 2020, when people were, like you know, starting to get into this, it was a really scary and weird thing to do the work that I do. Most people are like I have no idea what you do and, honestly, most days I have no idea what I do either.

Speaker 1:

But it is my green. It's what makes me unique being able to help women see themselves to be able to look into the mirror again to be able to see, maybe, what their green is. Maybe you have no idea what your green is as you think about this. I work really hard to help you to see that. And that's my green, it's my unique characteristic and, although you can't see it from the outside, it's not like I was born a different color, but it is how I have felt, like a different person and a bit of a weirdo on the inside, and that's why I think it is so important for you to understand and to see your green Like. What is that thing that makes you uniquely you and so absolutely magical? And maybe you're sitting there and you're just like I have nothing, jess. You have something. There is something that you were born with, a purpose, a characteristic, an energy, something you were born with that makes you next level magical.

Speaker 1:

And here's the second piece to this, this piece of knowing and understanding what your green is, but always wanting to cover it up, always wanting to hide it because society has made you feel like it's not worth it. You're not worth it. We want to fit you into this box and all wear the same clothes and look like robots. Nobody can show their magic, right? Nobody should show that their skin is green, because so often when we have gifts, nobody should show that their skin is green, because so often when we have gifts, we hide them or we're embarrassed by them. I'm super embarrassed by my gifts.

Speaker 1:

Often I'm like, oh man, in certain places, obviously in my communities and in events that I go to, I feel like I can show who I am. But there are other places and other rooms that you cannot right. I bet you know the ones that I'm thinking of, where you're just like I can't show them my green. I can't show them my green. I can't show them the thing that makes me special. This is a place where no one's special, right? We all just pretend that we're robots and we have no gifts, right, and I hate that. I wish that every room was a space where you could just show up exactly as you are, but it's not the case.

Speaker 1:

Society wants us to hide a lot of these things, especially right now in the world that we're going through. There are gifts that we have and characteristics about ourselves and even just like personality, traits that society is wanting us to cover and to hide. But this is the time more than ever to show that, to shine that into the world, because we're going through something so massive. There's a massive shift happening in this world and if we can finally lean into it and share our gifts a little bit more, it's really going to help us to elevate the energy in this world and really fight back on what's happening. Here's the thing, my friend. If you're listening to this today and you are just not sure what makes you special, I want you to sit down and just write out a few things that you're good at, and this might be things that you're just like oh, everybody's good at that. No, they're not. They are not.

Speaker 1:

I actually was having a conversation with a girlfriend the other day about her love for numbers and spreadsheets, and I was hanging out with her and her daughter and her daughter was just like, oh my gosh, like math is not my thing, and I was like, sis, me neither. And this friend of mine was just so passionate about her spreadsheets and the numbers and really being able to look at things so calculated, and it was what she was so good at and loved doing it. It reminded me if we all worked in the things that one were easy for us and also the things that lit us up, this world would be working so differently, because often we think the things that light us up, or even just the things that we're good at, everybody's good at. My assistant is like this too, where she's just like, oh, everybody's good at making graphics and doing all of these things and writing emails, and I'm like, no, literally we are not Entrepreneurs. We need someone to come in and do this and help us along the way. The things that I'm good at are things that other people might not be good at, and the things that they're good at I want to be able to outsource to, because they are gifted in these things.

Speaker 1:

Not everybody can sit here and riff on a mic and drink some chamomile tea and hang out with you when they should be in bed. Not everybody can do that. But there is something that you can do that I definitely can't do, and if you're listening to this, I bet you know at least a couple things that you're good at. Maybe it's a craft, maybe you really enjoy painting and you don't think you're necessarily the best at it, but it is something that you're relatively good at, right, even if you can like see yourself in a relatively good way sometimes can be that indicator that, one, there's something you enjoy here and two, you're magical in this area. Like, even if it's just a little bit of magic, we can sprinkle a little dust on that and elevate it once you see it as you're green.

Speaker 1:

But think about the things that you are good at. There's nothing too big or nothing too small. You just have to start thinking about some of these things. Notice them today, even as you listen to this podcast episode afterwards, just start to notice some of those things. Maybe you're really good at cooking dinner right For your family or for massive amounts of people. You're really good at cooking. What a gift that would be right. So just start to see some of these things throughout your day and notice what you're good at and notice what comes easy. And as you write these things down because I want you to write them in your phone write them on a piece of paper you can have conversations with people in your life and be like, hey, I'm really good at these things. Or hey, I find this easy, do you? And I bet they don't. Okay, I really, really bet they don't.

Speaker 1:

The things that you think are just nonchalant talents that you might have, or they're not even talents, they're just things that you can do. Are things that other people need in their lives? Right, there's a reason we hire, you know, people to create things for us or help us to things, or podcast producers, or the list goes on. Right, even someone to come in and clean your house, childcare all these things that are everyday easy quote unquote. I did air quotes there for you. Easy things for people. They are not easy for everyone. There's no way I could do childcare. Okay, there's no way I could be a teacher, but there are some people out there who are naturally gifted at being a teacher. Right, not everybody could stand on a stage with a microphone. It is my favorite place to be on a stage with a microphone.

Speaker 1:

And once we can see what these things are for us, that we are good at and that come with ease and flow for us of course things take effort. I'm not saying it's going to be like the most effortless product. Everything is going to take some effort, but if it comes with ease and flow into your life, there's a good chance. It's a gift for you and it's a good chance that's your green in this world and once you start to see this I emphasize this so importantly once you start to see this, I need you to lean into it more and more.

Speaker 1:

Don't just notice your green. Don't just notice this thing that you're gifted at and walk away. Don't just notice this thing and be like at and walk away. Don't just notice this thing and be like, oh yeah, everybody's good at that, and brush it off. There is magic in your green. Even if you think it is so easy and so small, there is magic in this and it's so important that you start to live in that world. Sure, you can brush it off, you can cover it up and you can pretend like you're not gifted, but you're not doing yourself any favors and you're definitely not doing us any favors, because we need more people to stand in their light. So you can choose to cover it up, you can choose to hide these gifts once you start to see what they are, or you can stand in them, you can embrace them and you can finally do what Elphaba did and just like defy gravity and just live in her absolute truth. Now, there was only half, so that's a to be continued story, but I know something epic is going to happen in that second half too. But even just if it were to end where the movie ended and again, no spoilers, but like just magical, defying gravity moments in this world this movie will really show you what it's like to be yourself and to find someone in your life who finally sees you for that and to share that with the world.

Speaker 1:

I just think it's really important and I was thinking about this too the other day about having those people in your life, having a best friend for me growing up Like there's nothing. I wish more for my son than to have a best friend growing up like I had. Oh man, I'm going to get emotional thinking about this. Who let me be weird? Who let me pretend that I could do skateboard tricks? Who let me just like live, just let me be myself, be the weirdest person in the room, and she loved it and she was weird with me and still to this day was weird with me and still to this day is weird with me.

Speaker 1:

And it's important that we find those people who can highlight our weirdness, who can highlight the green that we have in our lives. And so, again, if you don't have that person or those people in your life, I really encourage you to get on the wait list for the selfish sisterhood so that you can be encouraged to see your magical self, to stand in that and just even to like start to believe in yourself a little bit more, because I think sometimes it just takes like lighten the spark a little bit for something to catch fire, for you to start to see yourself in this new light, to start to see that business idea that you have, that it's not crazy that it is your green and that you could totally bring it to life, that it is your green and that you could totally bring it to life. And if I didn't see my green or even just like dabble in trying to find it, this podcast wouldn't exist to this day. The Selfish Sisterhood wouldn't exist, selfish Retreats wouldn't exist. Speak Up wouldn't exist. There's so many things that just would not exist. You and I probably wouldn't even know each other if it wasn't for me stepping into this and trying some new things and trying to find the thing that lights me up.

Speaker 1:

It takes time and it takes effort, but I truly do believe if you put a little effort here, you put a little bit of energy into figuring out what this thing is for you. You are going to start to feel yourself. You're going to start to look in the mirror and smile a little bit more. You're going to start to see that you're absolutely magical. It's not just the people that you listen to in podcasts, it's not just the people who you read about in books. Like you are magical too. We all are. There's something special about every single one of us.

Speaker 1:

And, yeah, who would have thought this camel tea that I'd be sipping would just like get me all fired up to remind you of the power that you have, remind you of the magic that's in you. And if you do not believe it, if you do not see it which honestly, I think if you listen to this podcast you probably do see it, right, I would hope so. But if you don't, I want you to send me a DM. I want you to just like send me a little message of like hey, jess, you know I listen to your podcast episode about the magic and Elphaba and the green and I just, I just want you to know I haven't figured out what my green is yet and then we can chat about it a little bit more and hopefully I can encourage you to dabble in finding your magic and your green today. So I wish you the very best week, the very most magical time and, if you haven't, go watch Wicked.

Speaker 1:

I am a big fan of musicals and I'm also a big fan of storylines that just remind you of your power and your magic, like something like the Greatest Showman oh man, I could watch that movie a hundred times. So Wicked is like that too. It gives you that like feel good feeling. After you finish it, you're like, okay, I can go take on the world. So maybe that's what you need to do today Put this podcast episode away, maybe get nap trapped under a baby and watch Wicked and just live in your magic, because I know you're one of the coolest people. I hope you have amazing week and I will be talking to you next time. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.

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Jess Clerke

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