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Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
[266] [INTERVIEW] Breaking Money Barriers w/ Lindsey Konchar
Are you ready to crack open the conversation about finances and step into your power? In today’s episode, we tackle the often-taboo topic of money and self-confidence with financial therapist Lindsey Konchar. Together, we explore the weight of financial shame that many women carry and how breaking the silence can lead to empowerment and growth.
Lindsay shares her inspiring journey toward becoming a financial therapist, emphasizing the importance of understanding our financial histories and establishing healthier money habits. With over a decade of professional experience connecting emotional health with financial literacy, she sheds light on the barriers women face in discussing money openly while offering actionable steps to foster confidence.
Tune in, and join the movement toward financial empowerment—because together, we can change the narrative and take control of our financial futures! Don’t forget to subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review to support the work we do!
Connect with Lindsey:
IG: @financialtherapistlindsey
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and today I have a very fun guest and a very fun topic that I think we don't talk about enough. So I'm really excited to have Lindsay Concher here, who is going to be talking to us about all the financial goodness and financial confidence. So welcome, lindsay. How are you doing? I am good, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just so glad that you reached out to chat about this, because I really think we just don't talk about money, especially as women enough. And the more we can I want to feel confident talking about money and the more women can, I think we're going to just take over the world soon. If we could do that.
Speaker 2:That's the goal, right? I'm pretty sure that's what we all want, and I think we would be a better place for it, so that is the goal, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Can you tell us about you, lindsay, and where your story got started as a financial therapist us?
Speaker 2:about you, lindsay, and where your story got started as a financial therapist, for sure. Yeah, so I am a financial therapist. I became a licensed therapist in 2019 and I was working at a clinic. It was great. And then, you know, I found out I was pregnant and a month later, the pandemic happened, and so at that time, you know, I was furloughed. I came home and this was when we were still like wiping down groceries and all sorts of crazy things and we didn't know what the what COVID could do to a baby or to a pregnant woman, and so I um, I stayed home and I became a stay at home mom very early on in my motherhood journey aka baby still in belly, which was fine, but I did miss my career. Even after baby got here, I missed my career, and so I started kind of dabbling into other things.
Speaker 2:But in 2022, I went to a personal development conference and I really had this clear visual of like I want to do something with money, because we had been on our own financial self-care journey for years at that point, and I just saw how much easier life can be when you have a handle on your finances, when you and your partner are on the same page with your finances and but I thought to myself I'm a therapist, you know, like I went to school for therapy, like who's going to? Who's going to talk to me about money, you know? And fast forward. Then, a few months later, about six months later, I was listening to an audio book and I was driving, I was on my street and unrelated the audio book was totally unrelated to anything financial therapy related but she did say the words financial therapist and I literally paused the book, drove onto my driveway, parked my car, went like flying in the door. My husband was like what?
Speaker 1:are you doing?
Speaker 2:What's going on and I was like I need to Google something right now.
Speaker 2:And I did and turns out, because I hold my MSW, my, my master's in social work, that I qualified for you know a couple of different certifications and I we have a 48 hour rule in our house, so I did wait the 48 hours.
Speaker 2:I talked through it with my husband a little bit, you know about what I saw for my career trajectory, and I got the certification and as soon as I signed up for the program, I like was waking up at 4 30 AM and was like taking the course in the morning and then during nap times and during nighttime and for like weeks I did nothing but the certification program Um, you know, as long as my baby was asleep or whatever, and it was so fascinating to me and I could just feel it like the whole world just like aligned for me. And you know they always say like you can look back and connect to the dots. And it truly feels like that for me, cause I finally reached the point now where, like I have my own financial therapy business and I merge financial you know, the cognitive behavioral therapy with financial education and it's such a beautiful place. So that's kind of how I got here.
Speaker 1:I love those aha moments, Like that is so cool when you're just like it had nothing to do with what I was listening to at all, but it just like, like happened and it clicked and it was the sign that you needed and it clicked and it was the sign that you needed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was because I had never heard of a financial therapist before. So then it was like, oh my gosh, it is me, I am it, I want to do this.
Speaker 1:You're like that is exactly what I've been looking for. Let's go. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I love that so much, and I think, too, for a lot of women, there's a lot of dreamers who listen to spot. I guess I'm a big dreamer, so I like to like just visualize things and think about things and oftentimes we get caught up in like I need to know what's next or what's out there, and for you it just kind of came as like this, like really beautiful sign, and as soon as you saw it you could go. But sometimes it just has to show up in front of you at the right time. So I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I had a lot of clarity around like what that might look like for me, like I had all these ideas, but I just and I don't. I'm not the person that believes you know, you need to have all the certifications and you need to have these accolades and you need, like sometimes I'm like you can do whatever you want to do, regardless of your credentialing and whatever. But for this specifically, I did feel like okay, but as a like, I felt like I just needed something. And then, yeah, when it came to fruition, I was like ah, we're here.
Speaker 1:It's great. Oh, I love it and also love that it came at the season of like while you were starting and like a young family, which I think too oftentimes we think we have to put our life on pause, but you didn't do that, so I think that's so awesome. There's a lot of women who hold a lot of shame around money. I'm sure you talk to a lot of them and work with a lot of them and I'm just really curious because I often attest this to like well, we haven't been able to like do things with money for a really long time, like we've only really been able to get a credit card for not that long. It was like for women, and I'm just really curious how can we support women to have less shame around their finances and money when it comes to some of the things that you work with them on?
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, for one, I think shame lives in that dark black box, and we let it live there and thrive there and grow there, and instead of letting it be this really scary dark abyss that we're unfamiliar with, we need to start opening up the box right and like shedding light on what's really happening.
Speaker 2:Time and time again, it never fails that as soon as we really start looking at the numbers even if the numbers aren't telling us a story that we really want to necessarily see, without a doubt, every woman that I work with have said I actually feel relieved, though, because now I at least know where I'm at, and so if you are the person who what we're talking about here is a lot of avoidance right Is and that's primarily what I see with women is they are avoiding their emails with you know statements attached to it, or they're avoiding their bills with um, or their mail with bills inside or whatever it is, and or they're avoiding conversations with you know, their partner or whomever, about money, and so when we can stop avoiding and we can actually start looking at what's really happening, it becomes so much less scary and we can really start moving forward and making a plan and then getting you into a place that those numbers are going to tell you a story that you're happy with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think avoidance is probably the number one thing for a lot of people too. Yeah, we just don't want to look at one thing. For a lot of people too, yeah, we just don't want to look at it. There's so many people who say that like, oh, I just don't feel comfortable opening it up and looking at it. Do you feel like there's things that anyone could do on their own before they reached out to you for financial therapy that could kind of start in the process? Cause it might be really scary to reach out to you, lindsay, and be like, hey, I know this is what you do, but I'm really messed up over here.
Speaker 2:Well, that is part of it, right, as we tell ourselves these stories of like well, she, I know she sees people with like a lot of shame, but like, not, like, not like me, like I'm worse than everyone else in that you know, or I'm, I'm just so bad with money, like there's no hope for me, and and the reality is that it's simply just not true, right, like I, but we, but we tell ourselves this stuff. I think a couple of things can happen. One is we really need to recognize that money habits are established by the time you are 10 years old. There's actually research out of the university of Michigan to support that, and so we know that your money habits came from how you were raised, and the reality is it goes back to that.
Speaker 2:Avoidance is right, we were told for our whole lives. We don't talk about money. It's rude to talk about money. Money doesn't grow on trees. We can't afford that. We were told all of these money messages and these money scripts, and now deep inside of us, we hold them.
Speaker 2:And so, if you can take a little bit of time to realize, like, how did you grow up around money? What were the messages that you received? And oftentimes it was mixed messages Like we can't afford that. And yet two days later your parents might have come home with something that was ridiculously expensive and you're like wait, but you just told me I couldn't have the $10 toy, and now you're getting a grill that I don't want or care.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Like it was just it was so misaligned, and so I think really exploring some of that, and if you're somebody that likes to journal or if you're somebody right like, there's things that you can do to process that on your own a little bit. But then also, I have an intentional spending planner which I built out. It's just compatible with Google Sheets, it's like 10 bucks on Etsy and you can literally plug it in your numbers and look at some of that on your own. If you're not ready to open up to anybody to me or to anybody else about what the story is really telling you and again, then at least you have some semblance of like. Okay, here's where my debt load is at, here's what I am spending in my day-to-day, because until we know that information, it's impossible to move forward. You have to be able to look at what's going on in order to really move forward again.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I never realized that your money habits are formed before you're 10 years old, like you're just a little baby.
Speaker 2:Just a little itty bitty, baby, I know.
Speaker 1:Is there anything that you do to support your children through this, to like help them to have financial like I don't know confidence before Cause they're how old?
Speaker 2:Two. My kids are two and four. Um, we talk about money all the time in our household and we do it very openly and not in a way like I really want to model to my kids that you can have a healthy, safe, happy, positive conversation around money. Because for me, money was fought about in my house all the time that it ultimately led to my parents' divorce, and so for me as a young child, I didn't believe that you could have positive interactions about money, and I want to switch that for my kids. I want to break that cycle and show my kids that, like, no money actually provides us this house that we love. Money provides us food that we enjoy eating. Money provides us the fun activities like going to the zoo or whatever, right. And so we talk about some of that. Like my four-year-old will be like, mommy, no, I don't want you to go see clients, and I'm like, well, honey, I love to see my clients, I enjoy my work, I get to do this, and also, mama gets to make money and money is good, right. So, like those are some of the messages that we're trying to teach them.
Speaker 2:Um, and then, also with my four-year-old, we just started doing allowance with her and I know allowance can be a little controversial for some people. It's not right for everybody, but for us, um, you know, she's very, she's a very responsible kid, she's very, you know, we, we, we weren't going to wait until she was fine, but we five, excuse me, um, but we just felt like she was ready for it, and so I, I made like a little container and it has invest, save, give and spend on there and every Wednesday she gets $4. Um, and she puts a $1 bill in each of these containers and we talk about what it all means and what you know, the differences between investing versus saving, and what does she want to save for? And then we, you know, I took a very intentional trip with her to the store for her very first toy that she could buy herself, and I did so in a way that was all about her and her money. Right, it wasn't like, oh, we have to go to Target anyway, so you can just get your toy while we're there.
Speaker 2:It was like, no, this trip is explicitly for her, so she can look around, and you know, and she bought her little Aurora sleeping beauty, barbie doll, whatever, and she loves it, and she was so proud of herself to do that, and so we've just set up some of these things, but I'm yeah, I would say, the biggest thing is, like you know, we're also investing for her. We're doing some of this stuff, but if you're only going to give your kid money but not actually provide any financial education around what that money should be doing for, like it doesn't right. So the best gift that you can give your kid is talking about money and doing so in a really healthy way. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does, because even like, it puts me back to like my childhood, to be like, oh, like I got an allowance and like I went to the dollar store and buy my toys, like it didn't have that same educational piece to it, which is so awesome. Obviously I had like money, but like, not looking back, I can make it easier for them to be educated in this too, especially for the world that we're stepping into. So I think that's just like a really great I don't know a really great program to have to be able to support them and for you to even recognize that she was ready for it. Like that's awesome. So, yeah, and you know, every kid is totally different.
Speaker 2:Right, we do a chore chart attached to her allowance, but her chores are like go potty when we ask you, pick up your books, share with your brother, because we also were very much like. Of course, some of these things are expected, but having emotional intelligence is very important, and I think that should be rewarded. You know, in our house. So we've kind of done that. And then one of the other things, though, that I think parents can really consider is we have family meetings, and we have them quite often, and we literally just get a talking stick it's usually a paintbrush that my daughter chooses and we all start and we say one thing that we're grateful for, and then we talk about whatever it is, whether it's like a weekend plan, like, okay, family meeting, let's make a plan for the weekend.
Speaker 2:Or, you know, we retired my husband in September, and before we did that, we held a family meeting and we said look, daddy is thinking about leaving his job, which means he's going to be home with you guys a lot more. You're going to see daddy a lot more than you've been seeing him. But it does mean that we're going to have to make some different choices about not going to restaurants as frequently as we have been, right and? And talking to them about what those tradeoffs look like. Of course, you know my four year old was like yay, daddy and my and Coco was one at the time, so he was just happy to be talking into a paintbrush, but it was still like we want to set the precedence for them by the time they are eight, nine, 10, 14, 18. They feel like they have a voice in our family decisions, right and?
Speaker 2:And to know that this is how it works. Like daddy made a really good income and we were so lucky to have that, but we're choosing to walk away from that so we can have more time. And putting it in perspective of our values, right, and this is how money work becomes fun, is? It's never about the money that's sitting in the bank. That's not who cares. What it's about is what we're prioritizing the values that we have, how we can be generous with our money, how money can take us on these amazing vacations or spend time with our loved ones or have a really fun Christmas or whatever. And that's how. That's the message that we want to portray to our kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think yeah, it makes it a lot more fun to think of it in that aspect, instead of like that shame and that daunting feeling around scarcity and not having enough and and all of those pieces, when we can look at it as what could be or what's fun, or what we can balance out to make this work.
Speaker 1:Like what a gift it is to be able to have your partner home. Like I think that would be awesome to be able to retire my husband and have him home. So I think like, yeah, the work you're doing is so special for a lot of people, not just for women, but for so many people. So I know there's a lot of people who are listening to this, who have dreams of being more confident with money, who would love to be able to see money through your eyes, lindsay, almost. Like you could sell, like these goggles and they're like Lindsay goggles and you could like give them out to women and be like this is how I see money and this is how I see the world. We want more of that. So what are the steps that someone would take to get there?
Speaker 2:Great question Again. I think looking at your numbers is so, so important. One of the things, though, that I really encourage women to do is there's really two things. One I will die on the hill of intentional spending. I think it is so important and really life-changing when you can get a solid understanding of what your baseline level happiness is and understand that we are currently in a place where it is so easy to spend money and it is, you know, convenience can be actually like the demise of our financial futures because, oh, I'm hungry, so I'm going to sit on my couch instead of getting my butt up and making something from my fridge, I'm just going to order DoorDash. And right, it's not only the demise of our health in many ways, but it's also the demise of our financial health, and so I think, recognizing some of that, but like, is that DoorDash order bringing up your baseline level of happiness? Or is that Amazon order, that Ulta order, whatever it is, is that really moving the needle on like your overall happiness, or is that a quick hit of dopamine that you want just to feel good in the moment?
Speaker 2:As moms, as women in general, we carry a lot of mental load. We carry a lot of, you know, just exhaustion of day-to-day life, which fine, but we're often looking for ways to feel better, feel entertained, not feel so bored, feel distracted, right, and all of these things come through in our purchases. Oftentimes we are spending money as a coping skill, and so when we can start understanding what are the things that really move the dial for you specifically, that's going to look different for you, jess, than it is for me, than it is for the woman listening, like it's different for all of us, and that's a beautiful thing. There's certain things, like tangible things that I would buy, that you would be like never in a million years would I care about that and vice versa, right, and that's okay. But there's other things that are going to universally move that needle, which oftentimes comes down to like connection, right.
Speaker 2:One thing that I love spending money on is seeing my girlfriends, whether that's just grabbing a cup of coffee somewhere, that's going out to a fun dinner with all of us. We do secret Santa every single year, that's. We usually take two to three girls trips a year because that's so important to me and I am a hundred percent all in like, yes, you guys want to go to Arizona? Boom, let's get on a plane and do it, because that, to me, is filling my cup, versus wandering around some store and getting two sweaters and eight pairs of leggings that I really don't need because my closet is full enough, right, like I don't like that kind of stuff doesn't move the needle as much for me.
Speaker 2:Of course, there are going to be clothes and items that I need, and that's fine, but I really try to not look at my life through a lens of lack and instead be, like, grateful for the things that I have. I am very intentional about, like, for example, we added a third bedroom to our home and when I was, you know, putting our, our, our bedroom together so the kids could have their own bedrooms, I was so intentional about every single item that is in my bedroom because I wanted it to be something that had a purpose. It wasn't just there, just to be there, right, and just take up space, like. I wanted it to be practical and purposeful and aesthetically pleasing and something that I enjoyed, right, and I think moving through the world that way can really shift so much for us. When you put that intentionality back into your money management, that's really a game changer for everyone.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it definitely is. And I see, just in the world that we're living in now and the social media and the fast paced world and the Amazon primes and the DoorDash we're really lucky because DoorDash doesn't come out to where we live. We live out in the sticks, which I love, but not everyone loves this, but I like being out here of this convenience piece to it. Right, that makes it really hard for us to even put the blinders on. Like it's just so easy to grab the extra candy bar or to, you know, grab and go your takeout on the way home or whatever for you.
Speaker 1:And I'm just curious when it comes to just social media in general too, because like you're scrolling and you see all these people on all these amazing trips, or you see all these people you know with their sheen hauls or whatever they're buying, you're just like, okay, like I see you, I'm not a stuff person, but I know there's a lot of people listening who are, who like to have things and like to have nice things. How can we put the blinders up when it comes to social media and that comparison game of us like, oh well, I need to have that, even right now in the season of becoming a mom, there's so many things. Oh my gosh, the feed is full of best baby items and you need these baby items and I'm like, do I really? I don't know, and it can be really distracting when you have financial goals and when you have things you want for your future family. But also the world is telling you consume, consume, consume, get more stuff. How do we combat this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, comparisonitis is a real thing and it is a trap, right, and so I'll say a couple of things on that one.
Speaker 2:We are inherently programmed to want to belong Right. So when we see not only the people like in our true, in real life, but like also everyone on social media, for example, stanley cups I don't have a Stanley cup, right, but every single woman that I is in my sphere has a Stanley cup or 18. And we are convinced that we need them because everyone has these Stanley cups and what actually is beneath the surface of that and this is where, like my job as the therapist comes in right Is really like those buying habits aren't because you're you're, you know, faulty or flawed, it's because you want a sense of belonging. And because all these other women have Stanley cups, I want to have a Stanley cup because I want to belong Right, and that's true for a lot of fast fashion stuff that we're talking is like the bucket hats is definitely in that category right Like there's so many of these trends that you can point to, like the Nike socks, the Nike crew socks or whatever, like that was a thing for a long time.
Speaker 2:That was like, oh my God, you're a millennial If you don't have Nike crew socks. And everyone was like, ah, I need to have that, like I need to not be a millennial. And I'm like, hey, what's what's wrong with being a millennial? And also, I'm not buying new socks. I, my socks are fine people. Um.
Speaker 2:So I think, just like understanding some of these more like deeper seated issues, that again, it's not necessarily just what you know, it's what else is going on. That like a bigger macro level issue here, um, so, but that sense of belonging is a real driver for making purchasing decisions. So there's that what also comes down to really taking the time to understand what you want personally. And again, that's okay to be different than the sphere of what's happening, but when you have this really strong visual of what you see for yourself and your life, it makes it so much easier to not buy the crap impulsively, cause you can. You can like, look at your goals. I call them your North stars because they're really your guiding lights for like, okay, is this aligned with my North stars? If not, I'm not going to buy it, but I can tell you actually there's a uh, it was. So Black Friday is like my day. I love Black Friday. I love to shop for all my Christmas presents on Black Friday, but I also like to shop for me on Black Friday because, like good deals, hello, and so that's always like my like. I wake up before the kids are even awake and I'm out the door and I don't come home until the evening and it's amazing, I love it.
Speaker 2:And so on Thanksgiving night, the night before Black Friday, my husband, you know, we were kind of going back and forth on where should be our next international trip and we we didn't really know for sure. But that night he rolled over and he was like, okay, I think I'm good with Portugal, like I think that's, and that was my choice. So I was like, oh my God, yes, okay, so we put it in our savings bucket, like on our goal list, you know, like we're doing Portugal, that's the plan. And the next day, as I'm out on black Friday shopping around, I literally was like holding up a sweater and I'd be like that's really cute and I'd put it in my basket or whatever and kind of meander around a little bit more. And then I'd think about it and be like, okay, the sweater is a good deal, but for 40 bucks.
Speaker 2:I would rather put that $40 in a savings bucket and see myself in the plaza with my kids running around fountain nearby splashing and having a fun time, me with my port wine, sitting at the bistro table with my husband, like I had such a clear vision of what that looked like for us and what that did for, again, my overall base level line of happiness that like that sweater, that $40 sweater I was like, yeah, it was cute. I probably have a couple of occasions I could wear it too, but I also have multiple other sweaters at home that I don't need this one and I would immediately. So like literally I did, I put it back and I immediately transferred $40 into my savings bucket. And when we have those clear visuals, those clear goals that really mean something to us, it changes the way we move through the world and it changes the way we make purchasing decisions.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so cool, like, what a clear moment for you to be, like, oh yeah, I don't need the sweater anymore. Like I can't wear it in Portugal. It's going to be nice and warm, thankfully. So that's the plan. Do you have a plan? Are you going?
Speaker 2:We. So we've pivoted a little bit. We actually think we're doing Costa Rica, but Portugal is still kind of on our greater plan, without getting too much into it. We want to homeschool our kids, but we actually want to world school our kids, aka travel around the world and teach them along the way. So our we're hoping, when the time comes, when our kids get a little bit older, portugal would then be our kind of like our home base for that and and take it from there. So, yes, it is, it will still happen. It's just probably happening. A little bit different than that initial, which again actually speaks to like your goals do not need to be set in stone, but I think having that direction and then having that, that fun dialogue whether you're solo traveling or you're traveling with your girlfriends or you and your partner are talking about this stuff it's so fun to have those conversations and then like, okay, reverse engineer the numbers, like what do we need to actually make this happen and come to fruition in our lives? You know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds freaking fun Like the world's teach your children as you go, like travel around and do all these things Like let's go, let's go.
Speaker 1:I can't wait to watch. That sounds so fun. Can we chat real quick too, about the people who are not making as much as they wish they'd be making right now? So maybe they're in a job that pays a little less than they had hoped for, or they're working in a business and it's not as financially strong as they had hoped for in this season. Or they're working in a business and it's not as financially strong as they had hoped for in this season. What would be some of like the financial goals for them or the financial self-care for them to help get to that place of feeling more secure? Or like what are the things that they could do in this season to help get them forward, even if they're not making as much as they had hoped?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there's a couple of different directions with this, I would say. The very first thing is, I think of this as like tiered living. So there's like your basic level of living, then there's your comfort level of living, and then there's kind of your luxury level living, and I think it's important to have numbers attached to all of these things. So for us, we're very clear on, like our bare bones basic level living is X, right, and then our comfort level meaning we would have extra surplus which would provide us maybe an extra trip or two throughout the year or whatever it is is this, and then our luxury level living is above that right. And so then, reverse engineering those numbers to really understand what it is that you need and where you're kind of falling in that continuum is a good place to start.
Speaker 2:If you are, you know, running a side hustle in a business and you want to get into that, then there's certainly infinite opportunities to make more money, which is the cool thing. So I think, understanding what is working well in your business, what is not working well in your business, what we got to do there, like there's, I mean, that's a whole, that's a whole episode on on how to, you know, increase the income coming into your business. The other thing, though, is if you are a W-2 employee or a contracted employee for for an, you know, for an employer, you don't be afraid to change jobs, don't be afraid to ask for the raise, whatever it is, and obviously, do this in succession, and I think some people have this idea that, like, oh, you just go in and ask for the raise and they give it to you. No, like, this is a plan thing between you and your manager or your boss, and you say, hey, these are the income goals that I really want for myself. How can we make that happen, and what do I need to do to ensure that? That's the trajectory, know, the trajectory that I'm on? Um, I think our parents for so long had this company loyalty for, you know, and that's some of the messaging that we've been passed down.
Speaker 2:I remember my brother was job hopping for a while, and my my parents were both kind of like separately to me. We're kind of like, ooh, I don't know, like that's not going to look very good on his resume, and I was like the hell, it's not. This is like great Good for him. He's getting an increase every single time he's switching those jobs. Um, and there's a stat out there. It's like you get a 10% pay increase every time you switch.
Speaker 2:But I think people make a lot of excuses around like, oh, now I have to update my resume. And applying for jobs is a process, of course it is. Of course it is. But if that's going to actually move the needle and get you to an income level that is going to support the lifestyle that you want, then you know that's that's where it's at. You gotta, you gotta make the sacrifice and make the time to do that.
Speaker 2:Not saying that it's easy. Easy, it's certainly not easy, but nothing in life you know is. And so I think, really starting there is a good place to start. You know whether it's asking for that raise or looking at jobs to switch to, or in your business. If it's, you know creating that side hustle and or if you're in your business full time. We're also in this space where we see a lot of women crushing it in the entrepreneurial space, which is amazing. But then that comparisonitis creeps back in. What is she doing that I'm not doing? Why is she getting this and I'm not getting that? And so I think if we can really stay in our own lane, and I also I don't think it's a bad thing to invest in a mentor and figure out you know what, what else you can be doing in your business to grow it a little bit. Um, it's kind of a chaotic answer, but I feel like there's a different, like a lot of different ways. So is there anything that I can clarify on any of that for you?
Speaker 1:No, that's perfect, and I actually am really grateful that we've stepped away from that like brand loyalty, that business loyalty thing that our parents did have. My parents are business owners, so it's very different. Obviously they're going to be loyal to their brand because they're owners, but the world that we were taught to grow up in was like get the job, stay in the job until you retire, get that pension. And I'm just so glad that that's not the way anymore, because there's so many different things you can learn, there's so many different things you can, you know, pursue and grow with, and especially that financial aspect of it, Like searching for jobs right now is kind of, you know, in our pocket, Like if you were to look for a job for anybody listening who's in the employed space, like that's really great for you because there's a lot more opportunities than there was back when our parents were doing this.
Speaker 1:So I always find that aspect really, really cool that we're not that loyal to the companies anymore. Unfortunately, If you're listening to this, sorry, but seriously, how great is it that we have more opportunities than our parents did in this situation? So, as we get ready to wrap this up, do you have any like advice that you'd be like. This is like my top piece of advice, whether that's financial, whether that's mom life, whether that's, you know, Lindsay's advice. Like what is it that you would want to share with women listening?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think really it comes always back for me to that intentionality piece and really like making sure you're staying in your own lane of things that you want. It's so easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, and that is true for across all walks of life, whether it's in your business, it's in motherhood, it's whatever. And so, making sure, like I remember as a new mom, I was like trying to do these crazy things, like I was. I literally just, oh my God, I was breastfeeding my baby, making jam on the stove homemade jam, which I do not, I do not belong in the kitchen period. I'm. It's so bad I I have no business there but literally trying to make homemade jam, also vacuuming at the same time that I was breastfeeding my baby, doing all these things, and I walked past my full length mirror and I remember being like who are you? What is this? And immediately I was like I need to stop, I need to recalibrate. This is not me, this is not like the motherhood experience that I want to have, like what am I even doing? And I stopped trying to make jam because it was ridiculous.
Speaker 2:And then I booked a hiking trip for just me and my daughter and we went and we had like a three day trip. She was six months old, I breastfed her on the trail, like, and we were just. I was just in the space where, like, cause, hiking has always been a part of my life. And why did I think once I had a kid I couldn't do that, you know? And same with, like, the financial piece. It's like, yeah, I wasn't contributing at that point financially to our family, so it caused me all this like inner dis, like cognitive dissonance and and things. But once I could get back to like the things that, like, I could do and the things that I loved, it changed everything for me. I was enjoying motherhood so much more, I was enjoying my life so much more.
Speaker 2:And I think once we can turn down the noise of like this is what it means to be a good mom, or this is what it means to be a good business owner, this is what it means, right, these messages that are so confusing and conflicting, that if we can just turn down that noise and really turn inward into the things that we want and see for ourselves in our future, like the world school stuff, it's like, okay, people might not understand that or not see the point in it, and that's okay.
Speaker 2:You don't have to, because that's something for me and my family that we're excited about, and and it's okay that somebody else isn't interested in that, you know, and just as I'm not going to judge somebody else for if you want to go to public school and be, you know, and just as I'm not going to judge somebody else for if you want to go to public school and be, you know, obsessed with your kids' sports, like cool, like if that's your. You know what I mean. So, like I think that it's like how much judgment we have in all these different areas is is complicated and complex, but if we can really turn back into the things that we want and put that intentionality back into our lives, back into our spending, back into how we want to show up with our money, it makes all the difference.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I love that. When you do world school with your kids, are you going to go to Canada? I mean, duh, okay, good, good.
Speaker 2:Can't wait so excited. I know Nova Scotia is like high on the list. We would love to get up there. It's the best. So I can't wait. Yeah, and we want to come see the polar bears. There's like a million.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're everywhere. They're in my backyard right now.
Speaker 2:No, no, oh, I was like you're totally lying. That's a joke, no.
Speaker 1:I have never seen a polar bear. But you go, you go north or north, yeah, just keep going up, Keep going up, up, up and up.
Speaker 2:Yes, my husband's grandparents went up into Canada to go see all the polar bears and it was like their favorite trip ever and they love it no way.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, you're going to have to go up, up, up, up. Yeah, but you know it'll be up there.
Speaker 2:We got time. We got time, yes.
Speaker 1:Lindsay, where can our listeners connect with you online? Find you, find your podcast, all of the things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am financial therapist Lindsay on Instagram. It's the only social media that I'm really on, so you can come message me there. I'm a solopreneur, so it is always me in my messages or emails or all the things. And then my podcast is financial self care with financial therapist Lindsay pretty simple to find and it's awesome, so you can learn about money stuff there. I actually just released an episode about Enneagram types and how each manage their money and it's like going kind of crazy. People are really liking that one. So if you want to check that, one out it's fun.
Speaker 2:And then my website is financialselfcareblogcom, and that has my financial therapy page. You can learn everything about what I do, find the podcast, find blog posts there, free resources, all sorts of stuff. So there you go.
Speaker 1:Amazing, amazing. I will put all that information in the show notes so people can check it out and connect with you, lindsay, because I think we need more of Lindsay in our lives, a little bit more financial talk and a little bit more of that confidence around our finances, because, again, women are going to take over the world. If we can figure this out, we're taking over the world. We are.
Speaker 2:I can't wait. Yeah, I'm here to defluence you from buying shit on Instagram so you can come follow me. So I am in your ear, constantly, being like Lindsay says I don't need this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't need that 18th Stanley. I don't even know where are these people putting them all. I don't have enough storage room for cups.
Speaker 2:I do have I get overwhelmed if I have more than three water bottles in my cabinet. I don't have any idea where the Stanleys go, although I suspect one in the car, one on the nightstand, one on the desk, one. I don't know, maybe they're just everywhere.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Yeah, Maybe they're just everywhere. But I'll, yeah, you do you, but I don't know. It stresses me out too. I have a few questions. I ask every guest that comes on the podcast you ready? I'm ready. Okay, what is your favorite compliment to receive? What?
Speaker 2:is your favorite compliment to receive. I love when my clients come to me and say I didn't buy this thing because I heard you talking like literally me chirping at them, or like you know, like I love that. I guess I take that as a compliment of like they. Yeah, when they're like Lindsay, your voice was in my head telling me that I didn't need it. I'm like, oh my gosh, amazing.
Speaker 1:You're like yes, I love being in your head. I love it. Can I show up in your dreams too? Yes, oh, so good. What is your favorite thing to do to boost your mood when you're feeling grumpy? Go for a walk outside, yeah.
Speaker 2:Touch some trees, baby. Oh yeah, and with you.
Speaker 1:when you said you went on a yeah, when you went on a hike with your baby, I'm like yeah, I can handle that Like that sounds real nice.
Speaker 2:I can't wait. Love it.
Speaker 1:And do you have a song or quote that boosts your confidence?
Speaker 2:Ooh, um I the song by Kesha. What is it? It's um, I'm a woman. Do you know?
Speaker 1:this one. Oh yeah, it's called woman. I think Is it called Woman. Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that song. Anytime that song comes on, I'm like I am powerful, I am it, I am everything.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so good. That is a good one. That's a powerful song, well, awesome. Thank you, lindsay, for being here and for sharing all your knowledge with us, and just happy week. What's up, sis. I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
