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Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
[265] [INTERVIEW] Becoming the 'Best Tea Besties' w/ Ashley O'Connor
Jess and Ashley dive into their friendship and the unpredictable journey of life changes in this episode. They discuss navigating new roles, the challenge of maintaining friendships, the impact of social media, and the aspirations of starting a fun, light-hearted podcast together.
• Exploration of current life transitions and challenges
• Discussion on the evolution of friendships as we age
• Insights into career changes and unexpected life paths
• Musings on reality television and its cultural significance
• Reflection on social media pressures versus authenticity
• Teasing the new Bestie Besties podcast concept
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
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My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and, as always I say this every time we got some super fun stuff going on over here today, but fifth time returning champion guest Ashley O'Connor hanging out with me today. How are you doing, ash?
Speaker 2:I'm great. How are you Jess?
Speaker 1:I am. I'm great, too Good. I'm over here chomping on some cheese and crackers and sipping on my raspberry leaf tea and waiting for a baby to come. Yep, so when this is released, baby will probably be here. So know that these were obviously done beforehand, but that's where we're at right now, just making the most of this season.
Speaker 2:I love it. Baby will definitely be here by then.
Speaker 1:I sure hope so. I sure hope so, I sure hope so. What's really fun is Ash and I have been talking about this for a really long time not just necessarily doing this podcast episode, but having a fun podcast of our own, and we thought we would test it out hanging out here with you today how that would feel, if we would enjoy it. Is that something that we want to add to our plates? And if you're like, really, you guys want to do a podcast, yeah, we've been talking about this for like over a year probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I bought a mug and everything for it.
Speaker 1:Was it a mug or was it a teacup?
Speaker 2:It's a teacup, but I think I kind of grouped them all together like that. But yeah, it's a teacup, you're right, I actually use it when I watch Bridgerton. No, you don't, yeah, cause it's one of those like plate. You know, it's a really fancy one, so I use it when I watch Bridgerton.
Speaker 1:So I remember us going through I can't remember when this was. It was last year, early last year and we spent like weeks trying to come up with a name for this podcast, like like weeks of back and forth messaging because we're like we're, this is gonna happen yeah, well, we would find names that we loved and then we're like oh, it's taken.
Speaker 2:Or yeah, yeah, chat, gpt, we used a lot of that.
Speaker 1:It took like weeks yeah, I asked people yeah, and then I got pregnant and everything kind of did not happen for us in the way that we had planned. But do you want to tell people what the name is and what our concept of our podcast is?
Speaker 2:Oh, this is high pressure. I know it's really high pressure, so the name is going to be the Bestie Besties podcast, so Bestie. The first one is going to be spelled B-E-S-T-E-A, like the drink, yeah. And then also, in case you didn't know, we're also friends, so that's, the second part is besties because we're best friends, yeah.
Speaker 1:What's really funny actually kind of funny that we are doing this today, because Glenn said to me today he saw this, this like I don't know meme on Facebook or something, because we're old and we're on Facebook and he said that the meme said like did you know, in tea the e and the a are silent and that was like something he saw and he just brought that up today and now that we're sitting here drinking our tea, I thought perfect timing to include that's really funny to me, yeah, yeah the e and the a are silent I would spend a lot of time laughing about that if I saw it but you couldn't, you couldn't just put a t, yeah
Speaker 2:that'd be confusing be really confusing because there's also like tea, like tea time with your golf, right that's true, there's so many teas, yeah, and also like chai tea. That just means tea, tea chai means tea yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's a very specific kind, but still, yeah, these are the kind of like really important things that we'll be covering on the bestie bestie podcast.
Speaker 1:Yes, and to let you know it's not a podcast about tea.
Speaker 2:It's not.
Speaker 1:We just will be sipping tea, hanging out and then like spilling the tea and like talking about life or talking about what's going on in the world. Because Ashley and I were both feeling like we needed some more fun in our lives and especially with podcasts like sometimes it can get pretty serious with what you're creating and so we just wanted something that like was fun. So we just wanted to sip some tea, spill some tea and like talk about what's going on in the world.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Spilling the tea. That was like one of the things. And then we were like but that sounds like a gossip podcast and that's not. We weren't going to be gossiping. That's not what we're about. Yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I don't have any gossip, really reality TV show and talk about it. But that would be like it. I do love that, yeah, yeah, but your choices of reality TV and my choices of reality TV are two very different choices, I think.
Speaker 2:What are your choices of reality TV?
Speaker 1:I would probably like watch whatever's on. Netflix is normally like Love is Blind. Okay, I like Love, I love it, okay, I watched the Ultimatum but that was messy and just like not great. Love Island is always a good time.
Speaker 2:I've never watched that one.
Speaker 1:It's like it's a commitment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, they're all a commitment really. Yeah, I watch. So I tend to watch drag queens, review, right, all of these, and then I decide whether I want to watch them. So if they start watching Love Island, then I may be in.
Speaker 1:Maybe. Yeah, that's how I find all my reality TV. Glenn and I just watched one called the Goat on Amazon. It was all right.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, Is that about all the athletes and everything Like the people who are the greatest in whatever they do?
Speaker 1:No, it was a bunch of reality TV stars in a mansion and they would do challenges to find out who was the greatest reality TV star of all time. Oh, okay, and they were from like all different reality TV shows.
Speaker 2:Okay, we definitely we needed more of those types of shows, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the Perfect.
Speaker 2:Match all of those.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, perfect Match gets messy too. I don't think any of them have actually been the perfect match, right those? Oh yeah, perfect match Gets messy too.
Speaker 2:I don't think any of them have actually been the perfect match, right. I don't think so I don't think any of them together.
Speaker 1:I always wonder that too. I'm like okay, do you really go on these shows for love, or are you just chilling Building? Your brand Wanting a free meal. I don't know, I'm not judging, no, because like it sounds fun to me to go to like a Caribbean island and like flirt with some people and eat food. Does that sound fun?
Speaker 2:to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can be down. Would you like the?
Speaker 2:flirting part. I don't think I'd like that. Well, I don't think.
Speaker 1:I'd be very good at it. But they'd be like you've been married for 10 years, Can't you tell yeah, I'm just here for the food. I literally would be there for the food and the beach. I mean fair, yeah, I might get voted off pretty early, but like I think that would be nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we could do that too On this podcast. We could actually enter into a reality TV show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, dated or related. Yes, that is a ridiculous show the fact that that exists but I, every time I see it, I'm always like huh interesting, dated or related.
Speaker 2:I got questions yeah, it's already a weird name and the concept is strange yes.
Speaker 1:So that's pretty much what we will be doing here on. Well, it's not here because this is on selfish confidence, but we just wanted to have fun with it and to see one if we enjoyed recording this, because we said if it's garbage we'll throw it out. So you listening, you tell us if you enjoy our friendly banter or if you're like no guys, don't quit your day job. And I'm like my day job is podcasting.
Speaker 2:And they'd be like, oh, yeah, well, we're not gonna quit, though we could still have our day jobs and do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, cause this is just supposed to be fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't. I really enjoy podcasts like like this. Now I used to listen to all of the the personal development and the business and the all those podcasts, but now I'm like I don't want to hear those anymore. I'd love. I love when two people are talking. I don't know why, but it's entertaining.
Speaker 1:Glenn listens to three-hour podcasts of people talking about all different things. Hockey, hockey, spitting chiclets. Spitting chiclets yeah, loves that one, and it can be a three-hour episode of them just shooting the shit and talking about hockey or talking about life, or talking about things. Or he listens to Life is Short with Justin Long, like those are long podcast episodes too and I'm like you listen to these and he's like, yeah, he's just like hanging out with the guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fun, and that's what we wanted to create for you. Sometime soon, hopefully, yeah and yeah, just hang out with you and talk about cheese and crackers. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let us know if you want to hear more about cheese and crackers.
Speaker 1:What's your favorite flavor or what chicken wings are you eating for dinner? I haven't had chicken wings in probably nine months because I can't stand chicken right now, but if I were honey garlic a spicy honey garlic would be great. That sounds pretty good.
Speaker 2:I know right, I'm not a chicken wing person.
Speaker 1:But I would probably.
Speaker 2:I would try it.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, yeah, what's your poison then? Okay, so we're going to the pub, we're going to record the Besties Besties podcast. Neither of us drink, so we'll be having some kind of cool mocktail at the pub, but we're going to get chicken wings or something.
Speaker 2:What are get? Chicken wings or something? What are we getting? You know, if I had to eat chicken in that way? I would probably pick boneless because it's all the work. I don't need work and I don't need a mess.
Speaker 1:I see you, I see you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So if it was spicy honey garlic, that sounds fantastic. I just don't want a bone in there because it's just too much work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see you. What about some nachos?
Speaker 2:I could eat nachos for sure are you a? Stick gal uh, yes, yeah, fried cheese. I mean, I think we're wrong with that. Any of that. Finger foods, french fries, pretzels yeah, I could do it. Yeah, honestly, when people get chicken wings, I I eat the celery and the carrots okay, I see you, our nurse friend Ashley, over here.
Speaker 1:She's just gonna eat the healthy food.
Speaker 2:It's just because I like it more than the chicken wings. Usually I get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, interesting. Well, why don't we give everyone a little life update, since it's been a while Before you? We were just chatting and Ashley said I was on the podcast, this podcast. And Asha said I was on the podcast, this podcast 2021. And then what was it like? Or 2022. And then twice in 2023. And then once in 2024.
Speaker 1:And then now 2025. Like, look at this evolution. So if you want to know the evolution of our friendship, you can also check it out in these five episodes of the Selfish Confidence podcast. But, like, why not give everyone a little life update? Where are you at? What are you doing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, confidence podcast, but like, why not give everyone a little life update? Where are you at what you doing? Yeah, I mean since the last time I was on this podcast.
Speaker 1:It was in May of last year because I looked back so a lot and it was to announce your like that you were speaking at Speak Up that podcast episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yeah, since, honestly, since Speak Up, I feel like so much has changed. So I am working a different job. So I still have my business, but I do it sort of in the evenings, on the weekends. It's not like the primary focus in this moment, which is it's a strange pivot to talk about. But I found a job in school nursing which never could have guessed that one ever. I work with preschoolers. Even that like alone, like if I was working with a high schooler, that would be more likely than preschoolers. But here we are.
Speaker 2:I started that in November. I work with two different kids, so one in the morning, one in the evenings, and I work five days a week now, which is it's a wild change but I actually really enjoy it. I don't hate going to work, like I go to work tomorrow and I'm not upset about it. But we can also have snow days, which are so fun. The school schedule is the coolest thing. I get it. I get why teachers want you know, want the school schedule. And yeah, we've. So we're here in Denver. That was already the case. Daniel has a new job. Kind of life is incredibly different than than it was then. I stopped being on social media, creating things on social media for a significant period of time and really just started stepping back into a space where I even think about doing that. So we'll kind of see, by the time this comes out in February, where we're at, whether I'm still posting or have a podcast or like my own or what.
Speaker 1:We're going to find out. We'll do another life update then and we'll be like, hey, what's going on? Because it's interesting that you say too, like it's not the focus right now. Like you got this job and you're really enjoying it and just like business and life because I think sometimes we can put a lot of pressure on that too but like also being the season that I'm in, like business and is not the focus right now, like I'm about to push a watermelon out of my vagina and I like life is going to be so different too. And when we recorded that podcast episode in May, like I kind of knew I was going to do it, but I didn't know how much life would change. And so even creating this podcast, like life is so like different than what we had anticipated it to be. 2025 is already starting out so different than what either of us thought it was going to be for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm happy about it. This is not the plan that I would have guessed a year ago, two years ago, but it's better. And I, yeah, I wouldn't have thought that that would be the case, but it is better. And I, yeah, I wouldn't have thought that that would be the case, but it is better.
Speaker 1:I like that yeah. Even Ashley said earlier too, she's like it's not I know this isn't forever. It's like, yeah, because you're a manifesting generator and if it was, that would be boring and that's just never going to be the case for you. So you know.
Speaker 2:I asked Jess, I'm like does this track with my human design? She's like yeah. I asked Jess, I'm like does this track with my?
Speaker 1:human design. She's like yeah, See you in two weeks.
Speaker 2:Where are you going to be? Who knows? You know, and I think every time I declare it like it's, I'm certain, and I'm never certain, it's just not. I just got to accept that. I'm getting better at accepting it.
Speaker 1:But at least you were certain about, like, who you married and the relationship you have.
Speaker 2:See you like that, I'm pretty secure in that too. So that's really nice, yeah, we got one.
Speaker 1:I got one One that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, it is Like you. You locked in a good man and you were just like I'm in and you stayed true to that. So, yeah, I would rather have a more chaotic career life than a chaotic relationship life.
Speaker 2:So true, daniel and I have talked about this too. Neither of us could date. I couldn't do it. We have friends that are in that phase of life and I'm like this sounds like the worst thing. I mean, I commend you if you're in that world, because it's not easy to find your person.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I'm just glad I don't have to do that right now. Hopefully ever again.
Speaker 1:Hopefully ever again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I wouldn't be good at it.
Speaker 1:Well, we talked about that. Yeah, with the reality TV too, flirting is not our strong game. So, no, I do just be doing a lot of praying and hope that the right person walks in, but I don't go reality TV too. Flirting is not our strong game. So no, I do just be doing a lot of praying and hope that the right person walks in, but I don't go out much, so I don't know where I'd meet them either, that's that also with friends.
Speaker 2:In this, like at this age, we've talked about that as well. Now that we moved to Denver, making friends is more difficult. I don't really get why it changes so much as you age. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because you just don't go out as much.
Speaker 1:Like back in the day you had, like university where you met some friends and you're like, oh well, we're in the same classes or we're in the same dorms or whatever. Like that's how I meet my friends In the elevator or, you know, at the bar. Like you just kind of meet friends that way because you went out more and same with like, yeah, you just go places, work, work friends. Like sometimes you would make friends in like the office. Well, now, my work friends are my pets, so those are pretty good friends. Like I just don't have that same like camaraderie that there is in like a lot of regular life situations. So, yeah, making friends is difficult, so I think that's why you probably should move here.
Speaker 2:We've talked about it.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, it's a good time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good time. It's not a bad time. It's a good time to come. So I think maybe, candice, what's that? The other thing for me, as I'm, as we're talking about friendships is that as I I don't know if it's that I'm getting older or I'm just accepting who I am as a person I'm also realizing I don't actually need or really want that many friendships, because I'm not very good at maintaining them. It's difficult, she's not, it's really hard. And I think I used to try to maintain so many relationships and friendships and then I usually just had so much guilt all the time Because I just, I forget, I'm not good at following up. Jess knows, I see a text. I'm like I'm definitely gonna text them back, and then a month passes and I'm just at a place where I'm like I don't actually need a bunch more friends. I'm good, I like having, like my solid ones and that's kind of it Acquaintances I don't have. I don't have the energy for it anymore.
Speaker 1:I get that. I went through a phase when I first moved, not necessarily to the city, but like Glenn and I were newly married and you know I was in that like trying to figure things out life.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to make friends and I went on Bumble BFF for those who don't know like Bumble has like a networking thing and a friend thing and all this stuff, and I burnt myself out going on dates with like new BFFs.
Speaker 1:Like you had to like really meet people.
Speaker 1:And don't get me wrong, I do think if you're in a season where you're looking for quality friendships, just like you would dating, you have to take the time like you have to make it a priority um, but it was a full-time job to like date around to make friends and I made like some good friends from that um season where I could like actually, like you know, go up people who want to go out and do things right, like it's the whole point of like meeting people who are like you.
Speaker 1:But I don't know if I could do that. Well, obviously I can't do that right now, but like I just don't know if that's like my top priority in this season to be going out bumble bff in it up on the town, going out for nachos or going bowling with people where you're just like, oh, like it's a lot of energy to come up and to find friendships. But if that's what you're looking for, obviously you got to put the energy and you got to put the effort in, but For sure, yeah, I mean, that's why I have my core friendships is because did all that and then I'm like these are mine, these are my people have them and that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm good.
Speaker 1:That's true. And then you have to nurture those relationships. And yeah, I joke and say that Ash is not that great at it. I'm not that great at it either. I'll just like text you here and there. I'm like, hey, what are you up to? And then, like three weeks later she'll answer. But like, I'm not that awesome at it either. But I think for the right friendships that works yeah, I don't think we need to be in each other's ear every day in order for it to be like, oh yeah and I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I know that I can text jess back and be like so I forgot and uh, sorry about that, but I love you and she's like if it was important, if it was important.
Speaker 1:I would like just text you again yes, and then I remember that, yeah, I just be like oh, can you answer this like are we still good? Do you want to have a call?
Speaker 2:and then like I would just message you again yeah, and I appreciate that, that kind of friendship, because, yeah, there's a lot of people who make you feel more guilty for that sort of thing, which I get. But, uh, yeah, nurturing the people that, that are, those people that understand you and accept you, that's, that's the thing yeah, that's what you need.
Speaker 1:You need to find those people and then when you get on a call, it's like a three-hour call and you're like hot diggity dog. We had a lot to update on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, we talked long before this. We hit record.
Speaker 1:I was like what did I talk about last with you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had breaks.
Speaker 1:I had to get a snack because I was like, if I don't eat something I'm going to get sick. So we're going to have to have a snack break in between.
Speaker 2:Yeah, We'll probably be doing that on our podcast Snacks and Tea.
Speaker 1:It'll be Snacks and Tea. That could be good, yeah, so yeah, I love what you're doing and I like that. It makes you happy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too. I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy and accepting that was also important, and realizing that because I think you can truck along for so long and try and hang on to something that you think is correct, or because you declared that it was the answer. Like, at least for someone like me who changes mind enough I have I do feel guilty when I change my mind again because I spend so much energy being like this is it? Guys figured it out, here's the answer. And then you know, a year later or however long, I'm like just kidding, that was wrong I was doing and like the path that I was going on for a really long time because I thought that I had to, because I had said it out loud.
Speaker 1:Well, I wouldn't be pregnant right now if I also didn't do that. So, yeah, so you know, sometimes we just got to change our minds and shake it up and be brave enough to just be like, hey, this isn't what. I thought it was going to be Time for something new. Because, yeah, we don't live in that world that our parents lived in, where you get that one job and you stay in that job until you die, like we don't live there anymore. Thankfully, you can change your mind and you can do new things, and I think that's pretty cool it is cool.
Speaker 1:What a privilege, yeah, to be able to change my mind but, I think we also live in a world now that feels like we have to tell people that we changed our mind right because back then they didn't have social media so they wouldn't have like, oh, I'll put on my facebook status I got a new job.
Speaker 1:Or like, update this and like, like they didn't have that, like word would just get around town that you and your boyfriend broke up or that you got a new job. Like there wasn't this need that we feel sometimes to be vulnerable and to share things and to be like, oh, I have to tell the world, yeah, I feel bad, I put a baby in my belly, like it's just so funny that that's, that just didn't exist for them. So it's a little extra pressure, I think, now than there was then too.
Speaker 2:Definitely, and especially cause I, I, the business that I was building, was basically on social media. So, yeah, that's, that's just in front of people, uh, declaring things and trying to say things correctly and all the other things that go into it. Yeah, doing it on social media. You're right, it's just this world that we live in Very different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they would have probably had like a family right and some friends that would judge them. But that's about it.
Speaker 2:We got the whole freaking world judging us.
Speaker 1:So yeah, some pressure.
Speaker 2:It really is. How do you feel about social media in general? Like, what's your I'm feeling?
Speaker 1:I mean, you've built a business there, so it's a great question, because I don't think I give it a lot of thought. I've been thinking about it lately, though, as life is changing and things are changing, and I think our progression of social media is changing. I think and feel and hope, um, and I've been trying to take because we went so far deep and like it has to have value, right, which is like even a podcast like this, us sitting and chatting it's like, okay, what value are we giving? Like I like cheese. Okay, you too right like there's.
Speaker 1:No, don't like chicken wings no, ashton doesn't like chicken wings. Now the world can sleep soundly tonight, but it's just so. I don know.
Speaker 1:I just always hated that feeling because I didn't feel like I had value to bring, and again that's something that I can work with my therapist on, but it's more, I think, leaning back into lifestyle and, as I'm having a family, I don't want to be a family blogger or whatever. That sounds awful to me. But maybe a year from now we'll change our mind. But I do think I want to bring more of that personality back in, that like personal side and lifestyle side, um, where we got so far away from that when it came to social media. So I think there's a shift coming and at least I know there is for me that I want it to be more fun, because I don't love that value pushing piece of it.
Speaker 1:I think that there could be some good balance in there being like fun concepts and I think confidence, especially in our business, like confidence comes from sharing those sides of yourself right and sharing the fun aspects. Confidence doesn't come from like sitting down and like being like I'm going to do this today, Like I just think it's's you know 10 steps to better confidence, like fudge that, like I just don't think that that's the thing. So there's a time and a place for social media and I think it's changing, at least it is for me.
Speaker 2:so yeah, I hope so. Yeah, I hope so because I'm with you. I got really burnt out from the perfectly curated content, but also the 10 steps to confidence or whatever, and it's all the same. There was a lot of you'd see one reel or one trend or whatever on TikTok and there's 10 of them that are exactly the same. I got really tired of that. So I would love it if it changed again, because what I do love to consume I mean I consume a lot of like guinea pigs, ferrets, dogs, animals that content love could watch that till the end of time, and I don't care how authentic you are, it's fine.
Speaker 1:Um, like what do you mean by guinea pigs?
Speaker 2:oh my gosh, there are so many accounts. I already love rodents in general, which is a weird thing, but I do, um, and there's, there's a couple accounts. There's a bunch of just guinea pig stuff. Right now my algorithm is guinea pigs, but, um, there's one girl I can't remember her name I have I'll have to look it up but she does videos with her like eight guinea pigs, and she's just hilarious because it's her she'll have like coffee. She has her coffee, guinea pigs, and she's just hilarious because it's her She'll have like coffee. She has her coffee in the morning and she's just feeding them herbs and it's a line of guinea pigs all just eating their, their breakfast. It's the best. I don't even care what's happening in the world. Guinea pigs Um, I'm down with that.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, yeah, it's great. But beyond that, uh, people's lives or just people having fun or I don't know that is so much more entertaining and valuable to me I don't think I could watch another like this is going to 10x. Your business reel Can't do it.
Speaker 1:Well and right now, my whole freaking algorithm is like pregnancy, or like what I pack in my hospital bag, or like the day after my birth, or a day in a life with my newborn. And don't get me wrong, I am fascinated because I have no idea what a day in a life with a newborn is. I'm just curious. I'm like I want it, I want to know even though I know that's not going to look like that but like I. But my feed, oh God god. And like the content. Right now, that is like all for. Like moms are like, yeah, what to pack my top items for a baby. I'm like I can't watch any more of these videos. Okay, like I got my items. I think I hope you packed your bag. My bag is packed. Like, yeah, I don't want any more of these videos. But once you're in, it's hard to get out, but the content changes as soon as you get pregnant, like facebook knows and instagram knows, and like they're. Like you did it, I know you did it, yep they're alerted instantly.
Speaker 1:Overnight you just get like 10 tips to help your nausea and I'm like none of these work. Okay, like go away and like I'm over it. How instantly my algorithm changed was wild to me, like and it's so much information that I just don't, I don't, I don't think, I want.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, that part is hard too, because sometimes you can't help but consume something. And then you're then the algorithm's like, oh, you love this Perfect Like. Sometimes I I go down a rabbit hole with comment sections and I make myself very angry. I don't know why I do it, it's a toxic trait. But I'll watch a video about like somebody who's you know anti-feminist, or like is just a horrible person, or just you know fear mongering in nutrition, and then I'll like go down a rabbit hole. And then the Instagram is like what's up, you love this. You love content from men who are angry about women existing. Here's some more of that. Like, I don't need that. And also actually school nursing my on YouTube I play him videos. So now my whole algorithm is blippy and I'm like shoot, that was not the plan, because it's like you must love this blippy video about fire trucks and I'm like, actually I really don't.
Speaker 2:But sometimes thanks sometimes I do some of the music that is now stuck in my head day to day. I have an alphabet song that is constantly playing our welcome song in the preschool, stuck in my head day to day. I have an alphabet song that is constantly playing, our welcome song in the preschool, always in my head. Sometimes I sing it.
Speaker 1:Who would have thought, Ashley no one, not me, not me. Not me, would I ever think that Blippi was going to be in your algorithm?
Speaker 2:Nope. Blippi's going to be in your algorithm at some point.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, Not yet. Not yet Hopefully. Oh yeah, what a wild like. Yeah, it's a wild season and a wild ride, I think, for both of us. And that's why I just feel like us having a podcast where we could sit down and like shoot the shit and just chat would be just kind of fun and I think, I think, and people can tell us people would be interested season where I'm like, I'm interested, so I like that.
Speaker 2:I think that's good, like it would force you to talk to me more. Yes, it would look at that. I couldn't. I couldn't miss it. If there was something on my calendar, I'd be here.
Speaker 1:It'd be good, probably as long as the time was correct yeah, we have had some issues with time zones too, because I'm just like confused where, where you are now in Colorado, and normally it's three hours, but some states and some provinces don't do time difference and so I'm like, but that was just when you were in Arizona, not when you're in. So I'm just so confused sometimes I'm like, is it four hours, is it three hours? I have no idea, and so I'll text her and I'll be like hey, it's 3 30 here. What time is it where you are?
Speaker 2:so as long as we work that out, then I'm there, because, yeah, that's the other piece with it right, with social media and all of it, I'm tired of numbers and like worrying about the metrics and so podcast, like it doesn't really matter. If it's just you and I and a few friends, it could be fun.
Speaker 1:It could be fun as long as we think that it's fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's okay.
Speaker 1:I think it could be super fun.
Speaker 2:You're right and you know what Everyone listening it is going to be fun. So we might talk about guinea pigs, you don't?
Speaker 1:know we might. Ashley might get some guinea pigs.
Speaker 2:Who knows? I mean, I would love to Daniel's resisting, not on board, oh Yep but they live longer five to seven years. That's more reasonable. Yes, then, rats is what she's saying, because she had rats.
Speaker 1:I did and they have really short lifespans. Yeah, my hamsters didn't live very long yeah, but then now they say that hamsters were just hibernating, especially in canada, so we buried all of our hamsters alive. We don't know that, obviously, but that's just what the world was saying for a while, because they're like did you know that hamsters hibernate? If it's too cold they go into hibernation mode, and maybe you buried your hamster alive. That's horrifying.
Speaker 2:I know talk about childhood trauma yeah, we could talk about that too. Any more childhood trauma, yeah, dead hamsters oh man Actually my hamster ate its babies. When I was a kid, too, had babies and then ate them.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Really sad.
Speaker 1:Really sad.
Speaker 2:How did your hamster get?
Speaker 1:pregnant.
Speaker 2:I think we had a boy. We must have had a boy and a girl, I guess.
Speaker 1:Or was it the virgin mary hamster?
Speaker 2:and it was you, let her eat, jesus yeah that's why my life has gone the way it has? Because I let that happen.
Speaker 1:Consequences yeah, we all got consequences. Yep, I think that's pretty crazy. Well, we had some things we were going to talk about today, but I feel like our conversation yeah, we all got consequences. Yep, I think that's pretty crazy. Well, we had some things we were going to talk about today, but I feel like our conversation went really well anyway, and we didn't even talk about anything on our list, which was things that we were concerned we would have not a lot of things to talk about, and somehow we got here and somehow we got here, which I like, where we went Dead hamsters.
Speaker 2:Well, we had guinea pigs. Those were live. Yeah, I should really look up this. You know what I'm gonna. I'll tell you who the person is on instagram and you can all look it up.
Speaker 1:We can put in the show notes because okay, perfect life will be better, yeah I think I need a new shift in my algorithm and I do have a fear of like overconsumption of social media, like with like late night breastfeeding, things like that, which I just do not want. So I could use some like good positivity on my feed in case that happens. Yeah, Guinea pigs I like to watch, like dog videos, like I could be down for this.
Speaker 2:I watch a lot of dog videos too.
Speaker 1:Those are great so good, so good, well, awesome. Well, I'm glad that you were here, ashley, for the fifth time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I'm sure there'll be a sixth.
Speaker 1:It probably will be a sixth and I'm not mad at it. No, I don't think anybody else is either. But also, if you're listening to this and you enjoyed us, just like chit-chatting, please send us a message and let us know, because we want to create this podcast the Besties, besties or whatever we decided it was called. But it's just a timing thing. But I think soon we could bring it to life, yeah.
Speaker 2:Zero pressure about it. I think we're going to.
Speaker 1:We're going to bring it to life.
Speaker 2:We hope so. It I think we're, we're gonna, we're gonna bring it to life. We hope we're just gonna make a cover, right, we talked about that tea cup.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I need to get a tea cup because I I didn't. That was on our list of things to do was find the name I know and you did it. You went out and found a tea cup. I need to go out and find a tea cup and then we'll make some photos and make a cover and bring this podcast to life.
Speaker 2:I love it and maybe you can all vote on it. Which one's the?
Speaker 1:best, yeah, yeah. You can also follow us on social media, because we did make an account when we were in Barbados last May. Yeah, we made the bestie besties. I'll put it in the show notes, too, on Instagram to claim the name. So we have been talking about this for almost a year.
Speaker 2:We have 12 followers.
Speaker 1:We have 12 followers, which I think is pretty impressive. Now, two of them are us. There's zero content. Yeah, but like yeah, 12 followers with zero content, I think that's the start of something.
Speaker 2:We're crushing it really I think we're crushing it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we really are. So if you're listening and you're like, you know what I want to show you guys my support. Head on over there and follow us and we'll bring this podcast to life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we will.
Speaker 1:I can't wait, and you're bringing a baby to life, yeah, I am Big season, big season, big season, and you're keeping kids alive. One of the questions the interview questions that popped up was like if you switch lives for a day, like what would you? I was like ashley. We can't do that because I have to keep children alive.
Speaker 2:Like I would have to keep your child alive it's in there, it's fine I mean, but give it when this podcast comes out. What if we switch lives?
Speaker 1:then what if we switch lives on the day I give labor?
Speaker 2:no give birth. Oh you, you would get the better deal out of that.
Speaker 1:I sure would, yeah, I sure would. Freaky Friday that one up. Ashley's getting the day that I have to give birth.
Speaker 2:I'm good, I'm good on that one. You can have that.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't want that one. But okay, it's going to be great, it's going to be so good, it's going to be a good time, Such a good time. Can't wait. Definitely so good. So yeah, I don't know how to sign this off. We should have a cool sign off like a song or something that we sing.
Speaker 2:Or a phrase that we always say, like good afternoon, good evening, enjoy your tea. That's it. That's the one, yeah.
Speaker 1:I like it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So see you next time.
Speaker 2:See you, then, with the next cup of tea.
Speaker 1:With your best tea. Bye, bye, what's up, sis, I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
