Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Building community and nurturing friendships w/ Diana Marie Keller
This episode delves into the transformative power of community, as Diana Marie Keller shares her journey of building the Fierce Ladies Collective in Cincinnati. Through personal stories and insights, Diana illustrates the impact of local connections on confidence and friendship, highlighting the importance of initiative and consistency in fostering relationships.
• Diana shares her journey of starting the Fierce Ladies Collective
• The role of in-person events in building community
• Overcoming hesitations in entrepreneurship and connection
• The importance of accountability within groups
• Practical steps for listeners to start building their own communities
• Diana’s vision for community growth and support in 2025
Connect with Diana and the Fierce Ladies Collective:
@fierceladiescollective
www.dianamariekeller.com
Want to meet more in-person connections in 2025? Check out my Self(ish) Retreat happening May 23rd - 25th, just outside of Halifax, Nova Scotia at Oceanstone Resort & Spa. Learn more HERE.
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and today is a really fun day because I have a very good friend of mine who we have been talking way too long before hit and record and it was just a matter of like. Okay, let's just get the party started, because this is a conversation I want you to be included in with my very good friend, diana Marie Keller.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:girl, how you doing.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks for having me. I agree we chatted for 25 minutes before we even hit record. Oh, that could have been a podcast episode. It really could have been. But you know, it was good to catch up and I'm excited to record this.
Speaker 1:Yes, me too. It's so funny because we were together not that long ago in person. When was that September?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:September, so three months ish, oh man, and I just wish we were together in person right now recording this, but you're in Ohio and I'm all the way up here in Canada and that's just not going to work today. I can't get on a plane now. I'm way too pregnant, so Right.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, no, that would be very uncomfortable. Could you imagine middle C?
Speaker 1:like no, and even when I was traveling down to see you, that time it was a clear sign of like yeah, this is the furthest I could probably go pregnant, because it wasn't, it wasn't super fun. I just remember you getting there and you're like I'm so hot.
Speaker 2:You're like sweating.
Speaker 1:It was well. It was hot and it was a hot week in Ohio. I was like where am I? The desert, Like gosh, where's your?
Speaker 2:water. You know that was. I will tell you. It was so interesting because I had a moment where I just I appreciated the amount of moisture that you needed in your life, because I went on a cruise and like, so you're being by the ocean, being by the ocean, like you are. There's water accessible at all times and I went on this cruise and I'm like everything feels so damp. I'm just not used to this much water in the air. And I was like this is probably like Jess, like is used to this much water in the air. And I was like this is probably like just like is used to this.
Speaker 1:And then she came to ohio and probably felt like she was a dried sponge yeah, and we were in this like red river gorge place and it was just like dry and dusty and I was like I can't breathe here it was.
Speaker 2:It was really hot and abnormally dry. Yeah, I felt like a lizard. Yeah, the desert. We were actually, we actually were in the Great Canyon, in case you didn't know.
Speaker 1:It was a good time though. Good time Dry, but good, yeah, but for the people who are listening and they're like what are you guys talking about? Why are you guys so weird? Can you tell us about you, diana, and your journey, of what led you here, to where you are hanging out with me on this podcast?
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. Hello everyone. My name is Diana. I am from Cincinnati, ohio. Jess and I met virtually gosh. That was probably about two, three years ago now. It had to be like three at least. Yes.
Speaker 1:We were celebrating three years of the podcast not that long ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so about three years ago I started listening to your podcast because we took the same podcasting course and then we met, virtually attended some events in person. Over that time period, I started my own business, I started my own in-person community, and here I am to chat with you today about building community and just what that looks like, how to build community, what it looks like to be a community leader and all of those things. So when it comes to giving myself a label, I would say that, first and foremost, I am a community builder, but I also am an author. I've written a book. I used to be a podcaster don't do that so regularly anymore but, yeah, I would call myself a community builder that's passionate about helping women find their people.
Speaker 1:And even as you were talking, I just remember the first time I really met you in person and I walk into our hotel room that we were sharing for an event and Diana had spilled all of her peanut M&Ms in her suitcase, like all of them, and I'm not talking a small bag, okay. I'm talking the Costco size bag of peanut M&Ms in her suitcase and she's just there scooping them up and trying to get them back in the bag and I was like I like this girl, I like her Can.
Speaker 2:I have some. Yes, literally that was like one of the best moments, because you just sat there filming me as I scooped my peanut M&Ms back into this little container Not little massive Costco size container but I think you make a point Like that was just that moment, that first time we met in person we're like we're going to be friends, like it was instantaneous.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I knew that I wanted to get that content so I could remember that moment forever. And I remember you saying to me like don't you put this?
Speaker 2:on the internet. Oh, I love that you did though. Yeah, I did, I did, yeah, I loved it, I loved it Okay.
Speaker 1:So today I really wanted to chat with you about community because, again, I just got to go down to Ohio and to experience your community and to experience some of your people and it was just a really great adventure, although dry, really great adventure. Okay, I did love it. But can you chat with us a bit about what led you to starting a business that focused on bringing women together?
Speaker 2:Absolutely so the evolution. So, just for those of you who may not know me some of you may know me, some of you may not, but those of you who don't know me, I run a community called the Fierce Ladies Collective, and the inspiration for this community actually came from the event that we went to together. So we went to a conference in 2022. And one of the one of the key pieces of that conference, that key messaging that I took away, is I heard so many women who were living in the Midwest that says I just don't know how to find friends. I don't know how to find community. I've found this community, this conference community, because I have been online but I want to find people where I live, locally. And after that conference, I went back and I actually just looked it up recently.
Speaker 2:So the conference was like the 22nd of October-ish, on November 11th, I decided I was going to launch a community. There was essentially no thought put into it. I was like I'm just going to do this and the purpose of the community was to help women find their people in person. Because, yes, especially kind of on the heels of 2020 and COVID and moving to everything online, there was this transition where people were like I'm ready to be back in person now and that, coupled with kind of reflection on myself of you know, I've had the same friends since high school. These friends are all spread out, I don't get to spend a lot of time with them, and so I wanted to actually start making friends where I lived, because I'd lived there for almost a decade and I hadn't actually found friends, actually found friends. And so the conference, coupled with this inner want, made me just decide pardon my language balls to the walls we're doing this.
Speaker 2:So on November 11th I decided you know what I'm going to build this community? It's going to be called the Fierce Ladies Collective, and on November 18th I had my very first event. It was just a dinner at a local restaurant, and since then it's evolved into something so, so much more. We went from having one event a month to two events a month and now routinely we're having anywhere from four to six events every single month. My community went from 12 people who came to that first dinner to now 700 people and all of these women. I just did kind of a wrapped, a quote unquote Spotify wrapped for the Fierce Ladies Collective. You know, we've had something like 300 attendees at events just this year. We've hosted 48 different events just this year, and so I know that I went on a really long ramp, but ultimately, the purpose of what I do is to help bring women into community with one another, make friendships and really feel like they have found their home where they live posts that you're doing something.
Speaker 1:I'm like girl, where are you getting that energy? Or like, how many of these are you actually showing up to? Like? I think about that often because, as someone who does events too, I know what my capacity is. But, girl, you got a bit more spunk than me and a bit more energy. And like hearing the Spotify wrapped piece of it, like how many events have happened this year is just mind blowing on what you've created in two short years mind blowing on what you've created in two short years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that you know, and that was very eye opening for me because last year, probably around the July to August timeframe last year, I hosted my first retreat, but I mean, weeks before the retreat went off, I was, I was in tears, I was like nobody's signing up for these events, I'm losing so much money. And I really shifted my focus going into 2024, where I was like you know what I want to make it more focused on doing things that I actually enjoy and things that I would do regardless of any if anybody else shows up. And so you know the 47, 48 events that we've done this year. Have I been the only one that's shown up? Yeah, sometimes I've had a couple of them where I'm the only person that showed up, but the fact that I continue to show up, regardless of if anybody's there, and the fact that I continue to host these events is what has grown this community. It's the consistency and it is me showing up.
Speaker 2:I've gone to every single event that I've hosted this year, except for one, when I had COVID and it had gotten to a point and that was just. It was actually just after the retreat a couple months ago, but at that point I had built up the community because I've shown up so consistently and so frequently that I had somebody who stepped in and said you know what I'm going anyway, why don't I just I'll just quote, unquote host it? And I was like great, that sounds awesome, thank you. So it's taken time. I wanted, I've wanted to burn it to the ground, but I had I had to shift my focus of would I do this If nobody shows up? If I would, then then it's great, I would I it. It is a joy to do.
Speaker 1:I love that and I've always tried to do that too. It's like I want to pick things that I want to do, like bowling or rock climbing or all these things where it's like I don't always have like the idea. Sometimes that comes like okay, I can think of other people, but I also need it to be something that I want to do because I have to go.
Speaker 2:I want to go Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, so if it's something that I I don't want to go eat oysters on the beach with you.
Speaker 2:We're not going to do that, you're never going to find me hosting an oyster event. And hopefully never a roller skating event ever again, and there's never going to be.
Speaker 1:We don't do wheels and we don't do skates. Okay, so we don't. And I remember telling you that like don't do this, Diana, and you're like good call, we don't do wheels. We don't do skates. Okay, no Great rules to follow by, but how has having the supportive community around you now, an in-person community of people that you see regularly, how has this helped you and also women, have more confidence?
Speaker 2:Oh, that is a good question. I will say, first and foremost, very selfishly, it has helped me more than anybody else Because, as I said, one of the big reasons that I built this community was with selfish intent. I wanted to find friends for myself, and so it's kind of a twofold One. It has helped me to actually find friends where I live and be able to feel confident and knowing that I don't have to schedule things two months out because I have to cross state lines and I have to travel hours. It's such a peace of mind to know that I have people right where I live. Right where I live, but more than that, from kind of the leadership of a community side of things I never really knew.
Speaker 2:So a little bit of backstory about me I was in the teaching profession and left around 2020.
Speaker 2:And when I left, I didn't know how my passions would manifest, moving forward to the point where I almost thought maybe, you know, I would feel stale or I would feel unfulfilled.
Speaker 2:And so, in creating this community, and not even, you know, the first six months, not even the first 12 months, 18 months, but it took. It took, you know, a year and a half, almost two years, to feel like, wow, like I have built this and and I don't want to say single-handedly built it because I have a couple of people, a couple of friends that I call my quote unquote board of directors that have helped me build this. But knowing that, from starting at 12 people to now doing, you know, four to five events every month, I've impacted 300 plus lives Like that gives me so much confidence to know that, even when I left something that I love so much and I wasn't sure what was next for me or if I would feel fulfilled, this gives me the confidence to know that any path is going to lead me to fulfillment. I just have to stay aligned with what I love and who I am and who I'm meant to serve.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. And how do you stay aligned, like do you have anything that's like, intuitively you feel it in your body, or like how do you know if it's aligned or not?
Speaker 2:That's a good question as well. All of all of your questions are good questions.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you very much so.
Speaker 2:Something that we've talked about before, but I think is really important, and something that kind of was a light bulb moment for me within the past year, is I am just not meant to do things online, period, like I am not meant to build a community online. I'm not meant to run a business online For me. I am a huge extrovert and I get a lot of energy from being with people in person and it's one of those things I don't know if this is just one of those me things or if other people, other extroverts, have this experience but when I leave an event, I just feel so fulfilled and so much energy and I just want to like crank the music up loud. And that's how I knew.
Speaker 2:When I am in person, it feels so good, whereas when I tried to build an online business, it was just so boring and I hated it and I never wanted to show up and I never wanted to jump on Zoom calls. It and I never wanted to show up and I never wanted to jump on Zoom calls. I invested, you know, $6,000 in a coaching program that was all online and I never showed up because it just was not who I am, and so I think that feeling that I get when I leave an event is that reminder to me that I am meant to be in person with these women, talking to them, learning about them, helping grow the bridges between these women, helping build those friendships, and that is. It just feels so good in my body, I don't know how to describe it any other way.
Speaker 1:I loved learning, too, when we we were together like just like the vision that you had and I think sometimes we're, especially in the online space, like forced to go big right Like you have this vision. That's like it has to be big, it has to be worldwide, because the internet can reach so many people, which is so cool Like and so grateful for. But I loved learning from you that your focus was Ohio and like that was like that was the dream for you, and I think getting like really clear on what your dream was was like the key for you that it didn't have to be this big vision of like going worldwide. You ain't Mrs Worldwide, okay.
Speaker 1:No I am not You're.
Speaker 2:Mrs Ohio, I am Mrs Cincinnati Ohio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cincinnati, ohio, and it was just like really cool to see that and for you to be really clear in what you wanted. So did it take you some time to get there? I know you had mentioned, you know, investing in some courses. I remember you going through these courses too, like I've gotten to see all of Diana's journey through this process, which has been really fun. But like, yeah, like how did you get clear?
Speaker 2:So you bring up this really, really good point of you know we are sold this lie and I'm going to say it's a lie. This lie that with an online business, your reach is limitless. And you go in with, if you're trying to build an online business, you go in with this mentality that I am limitless. And I will say that you are limitless. You can truly do whatever sets your heart on fire. But people go in with this expectation that they will be limitless, and so when they are limited, they want to give up quickly and it doesn't feel good and they say and immediately they feel like they're failing because their expectation was this limitless potential. And I did that. I went through the phase of trying to build something online and telling myself that I can be limitless and I have this limitless reach, but then I felt restricted because I wasn't being limitless. And so when I realized that going to the in-person events is actually what made me feel good, I realized I can't.
Speaker 2:There are thousands, probably millions. They're not not. Probably there are millions of women in my immediate community. Why can't I just start there? And it doesn't even have to be millions, like there is in my neighborhood. You know there are 20 women. Why can't I start with 20 women? Like, if you think about it, if you hosted an event and 20 women showed up, how fulfilling would that feel? So why can't I start with them? Or the you know hundred people in my county or you know whatever that looks like?
Speaker 2:But for me it was just.
Speaker 2:It was looking at the numbers. It's that kind of that math brain in me of why do I need to reach billions when I can start so small and have a one-on-one relationship or one-on-one friendship with these people, because that's more who I am, you know, and I think actually the real moment that it hit home for me, like these, these ideas were circling around in my brain, but the real moment that it hit home for me was when I did my human design with you. You gave me this feedback looking at my human design, you said your people are your people and that circle is small, it is not meant to be everybody, and I really reflected on that and I was like you know you're right, really reflected on that. And I was, like you know you're right, like I don't want limitless potential. I want to start small with the people who are going to show up in my life, not just on Instagram, not just on social media. I want to actually have a friendship with these people and to start I have to be there in person.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I love that, and I love that you got that clarity from your human design too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because.
Speaker 1:I think that's just like especially projector to projector.
Speaker 1:Diana and I are both projectors and I just find sometimes we just need that like realization too of it being yeah, just a different energy and, yeah, I love that you came to that conclusion with like yeah, cincinnati, ohio, is my spot and these are my people, and what you're growing there is just so beautiful. Like it's been so fun to watch and the clarity that you've had since coming on this path of like 2024 and be like I want to focus here has been really cool, cause before that it felt kind of like okay, I'm a little over here and I'm a little over here and I'm going to do this course and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do my podcast and I'm going to do this, and like it can be just so overwhelming.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was so scattered and not one thing felt like it. And and when I just cut off, like I'm not doing courses anymore. I didn't like doing courses to begin with. What am I doing? I'm not doing this. The podcast, like it served me for a period, but I'm not doing this anymore. Like I did, I did Beachbody for a little bit and I'm like I'm done with that. Like I am focusing on the one thing that brings me joy and I'm going to go hard in the paint, Like that was it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that you didn't. You never gave up on this journey, too, when people didn't show up and when you know the money isn't always flowing when it comes to events, Cause as, as you know, events can be quite expensive to put on and it doesn't always have that same revenue.
Speaker 1:And so I think that it's a really cool thing to see that you've been still doing it and you're showing up and you've built something so incredible, regardless of like the pies that can hit you in the face through this journey. I talk to a lot of women who want to start businesses, who want to start and do something, or who want to make friendships, and they just haven't found in their community something like what you're creating in Ohio, and obviously we're not all going to Cincinnati, unfortunately. Yeah, I would love to have you, in which case that could be super fun, but they want things in their town too, and for some of them, coming from like small towns, they don't have, you know, a lot of reach and a lot of friends in their area, and I often say, well, if you don't have it, create it. Right, correct, how can someone start to create something like what you're doing in order for them to find those friends?
Speaker 2:So the first thing that I will say is find a place that, or find a hobby and I don't even like to use the word hobby, but there are communities that a lot of people don't know about. And so putting yourself in situations whether that means going to a workout class, going to a coffee shop, going to, you know, a concert, a comedy club, like there and I realize that I say this with a little bit of bias because Cincinnati has so many resources but the best way to start is to put yourself in situations where you're a little uncomfortable and where you might meet a stranger, Because I think about the 12 people that came to my very first event, and a lot of them were people who had come to my book events when I was doing my book tour. They were friends of friends, and that's where you have to start. You have to start with strangers and once you meet a stranger and you have a mutual interest, maybe you guys like to go bowling? Suggest bowling, hey, guy. Hey, you want to go bowling once a month? You want to join a bowling league? Hey, do you like coffee? Do you like open mic nights? Maybe let's find an open mic night, but you have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations where you're willing to make that friend.
Speaker 2:And then, when it comes to actually building the community, it requires a lot of initiative and it requires a lot of consistency. We were talking about that earlier. I did a social media post just recently. That it was just. It was kind of a random thought that came into my brain.
Speaker 2:But when it comes to building community, when it comes to making friends, the one thing that I will say will guarantee success and I will guarantee it you just have to show up over and over, and over and over again. Because I look at the women that I've made friends with in my community and they at the women that I've made friends with in my community and they are the ones that I've seen 12 times this year, because they've come to 12 different events and over that time we've shared numbers, we've texted, we've gone out. But that wouldn't have happened if we only went to one event and then never saw each other again. I guarantee you you will be successful if you show up and you keep showing up. It requires a lot of friendship maintenance, but you have to do it if you want to be successful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. It's that energy output I often think about. Like I got to put the energy, you got to give me some too. It's like in was it hitch in the movie when it's like I'll go 80 and you go 20,.
Speaker 2:You know you got to finish me some too it's like in, was it hitch in the movie.
Speaker 1:When it's like I'll go 80 and you go 20, you know you got to finish with that kiss, you know, yes, so we need that like little bit too, on both sides, because if not, if I'm just showing up and you come once, or you're here and there, or even even in the virtual space, right like you're not going to get anything from these courses if you don't show up for them. So so it's so important that you put that energy in too, because that's what builds a friendship.
Speaker 2:Well, and you bring up a really good point of this 80-20. In the movie it's 90-10. But either way it's a lot.
Speaker 1:Thanks for the correction.
Speaker 2:Diana. I love Hitch but it requires a lot, and especially when you're starting, Because the truth of the matter is no relationship is 50-50. Things wax and wane as people have energy. But if you are going to begin a community, you have to be that 80%. You have to be that 90% and other people will give that 10 to 20%. But if you are going to build a community, you have to be the big output. You can't assume that somebody is going to match your energy immediately until you build that rapport with them, until you build that friendship, Because, quite frankly, they're not going to trust you immediately. It's going to take time. So again, if you're going to start a community, if you're looking to begin something like this, or even even if it's not, you're starting a community, you're just trying to find a friendship Just assume that you need to do that 80 to 90% and somebody else is going to have that 10 to 20% to begin with and then eventually it's going to. It's going to even out a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I often even think that too, when it comes to just business in general, communities in general, that like I have to give one 10 because I need to go above and beyond so that you feel safe and comfortable to even give 20, sometimes, like it's like you got to go extra, I got to go big so that maybe you'll like open your voice a little bit and be like hey, I'm Susie, I like cheese. Like you're going to like it's going to take a little bit more because it's scary. Going to these things is scary, so I have to give it my all. And sometimes that can be the piece that I find difficult with event hosting.
Speaker 2:It's just, it's like an overextension of energy because, yeah, it very much so is and I was actually just having a conversation about this yesterday of you have to be the sparkly thing, like in your business. You are the sparkly thing and I think about it like almost like a disco ball, and I know that you just recently used a disco ball, like at your event. So we're gonna use this disco ball. Yes, I love it. So we're gonna. Yes, exactly, okay, so we're gonna. It's like a disco ball. So disco ball puts out light in every direction and the people who are around it, they just feel these little rays like on them.
Speaker 2:And so I'll use my social hours as a really good example. So I host a social hour once a month and I just started doing this in October, so I've only done a couple. But they are specifically free events and they are at different restaurants. They're at different big, big places where it's a very casual night, totally free to attend. Come, grab a bite to eat. It's open, house style Come and go as you please. Maybe you want to stay 10 minutes, maybe you want to stay two hours. And house style come and go as you please.
Speaker 2:Maybe you want to stay 10 minutes, maybe you want to stay two hours, but I have to be the biggest disco ball ever at those events because, I will say, at least 50% of the people who attend those events in my experience are new. They're just kind of getting a feel for the community. Is this right for me? Will I actually make a friend? Do I feel welcomed? And I have to go to every single person at that event, talk to them, learn their name, learn their interests, find common ground either between me and them or them and somebody else. I have to be that big disco ball and 110% must be given because if not, people aren't going to feel like maybe this isn't the spot for me, maybe I don't necessarily feel welcomed here, I don't feel celebrated here. I just feel like I showed up and somebody you know hosted an event. 110% has to be given when you're doing things like that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, definitely, Especially when it is that social thing. I find too like if we have a dinner, like I know my people very personally I know, their stories, I know their backgrounds, I know everything they're going through. Anyone in the sisterhood I know a good, good chunk about you and I find like I'm the person who'd be like, oh, tell them about that trip you just went on. Or like, oh, you know, you just took a pottery class. You know what did you make? Or show us? Oh, you have a dog.
Speaker 1:Let's everybody, everybody, show their pictures of their dog right Like you have to know these things and I and it's not that that's like it comes natural to me to do I just I think it's a projector thing too, not to bring human design back to this, but I always do Right but like there's something about a projector, they can see people in a way that not everybody can see them and people do feel seen, and so I find, yeah, you can really connect and see people and then connect more people together, because you see something different in them that not everybody can see so easily, because yeah you.
Speaker 1:Just it comes natural to us, and so the fact that you mentioned that about the disco ball piece too, I'm like that makes a hunt, like it makes so much sense and yeah, I think it is a really cool projector thing that we can see people and connect people in a really magical way.
Speaker 2:I, I. I will tell you, probably one of my absolute biggest joys when it comes to to running this community is when people send me pictures, when I see things on social media of women who have met in the community going out and doing things themselves. Like that, to me, is probably one of the biggest joys of what I do, like when I sell a spot great, like that's. That's good because it's growing my mission. But I will tell you, the most fun is seeing women connect, because that is the ultimate goal, is seeing women connect, because that is the ultimate goal. That's the ultimate, you know, end, end result of what I do is.
Speaker 2:I say this quote all the time and I love it and I'm going to keep saying it. So it's from Ted Lasso and it's um, the quote is a good leader wants you to move on. A great leader knows that you will. And my ultimate goal is that someone walks into the fierce ladies collective with this. I want, I need to find friends, I need to find cool things and I hope to goodness that one day they walk away and never need me again, because what that means to me is they found the friends that they needed, they found the confidence to go out and do things, maybe on their own, or or initiate that conversation.
Speaker 2:Like you know, it's. It's always really interesting to me because there have been women who have come to events and then haven't come back, or they'll reach out to me, you know, three to five months later and say you know, I went and did this and I I personally, feel more confident. You know, I just had an experience like this recently, and so the ultimate goal for me, the thing that brings me the most joy, is when people walk away from my community having found what they were looking for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. That's a great quote. Good fan, I'm a big fan, ted Lasso too. I love it, I love it. I love it so much. And I remember having this moment after Speak Up, when I walked off the VIP boat cruise and I watched this group go to dinner over here and this group of this group go to dinner over here and this group of friends go to dinner over here and this group, like they're walking that way and I just had this moment of like, like, yeah, like it's about those connections and I personally, at at that point, I think 22 or 23 weeks pregnant, did not want to go to any of those dinners, but I was so grateful that I was able to connect the people together so they could go to their dinners and they could find new friends and connections, and it was just like the coolest thing and I was like I can't wait to take my shoes off and go eat some takeout in bed.
Speaker 2:Yes, no, I a hundred percent. And you know, I even feel that way after events, like they energize me, but simultaneously after an event, I'm like, oh, I just did a whole lot of 110 percenting and even though it's energizing, it can also be draining, and so I absolutely understand that, like I didn't. You know, last year's retreat, my 2023 retreat, my 2024 retreat were wildly different, but I'll tell you, it took me probably a solid week to bounce back after this year's retreat because, while it was so energizing, my I there was a lot of, I mean, I was running the retreat and there was a lot of bridge building and it's exhausting it is exhausting.
Speaker 1:We also got COVID, so we also got COVID.
Speaker 2:We also got COVID. Take some time to bounce back from that, you know, yeah. So I'm wondering you know what percentage of that was COVID induced and what percentage of that was like holy crap. I just ran a four day retreat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, We'll find out after 2025. Then you can do the comparison again.
Speaker 2:You can be like okay, maybe now we know, maybe it only took me two to three days to bounce back, but I'll tell you that that day that I got back, like I did not leave bed other than taking you to the airport, that was it. Yeah, crazy, what a good time. I can't believe you flew that day I would have been exhausted.
Speaker 1:Exhausted, I was like get me back to Canada, get me out of this place.
Speaker 2:It's too dry water.
Speaker 1:Yes, did you ever at any point through this process have any hesitation with changing things in your business, like totally pivoting, as you mentioned, burning things to the ground? We talk about that a lot in the sisterhood. Like, was there ever this moment of like I'm gonna like the match? Or like, oh, do I really want to light that match? Like blow it out, blow it out. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I wasn't honestly sure what kind of volume the Fierce Ladies Collective would be. I started it thinking it would start and it would be one event, a month period, end of story. And it was a very, very natural progression. So when the match was lit, I didn't really know what to do with it. Like it was just like a little candle and I was like it's fine, it's, I don't. I don't really know how it fits into this, this broader picture. But then, as it started to grow, it was very easy for me to walk away from everything else, because it was in those moments where it was actually fun for me that I was like none of these other things make sense. And so I will say, at first it was just a spark, it was just a flame. I didn't know how it would fit in with anything else, and you know, like we love a good image, but it literally was the spark that allowed me to burn everything else and still be very, very bright. So and and even before I created the Fierce Ladies Collective and you even said it like it was just there were so many avenues and there were so many different visions that there wasn't a cohesive vision. And so when I actually found a vision that was for me, the lack of cohesion just kind of fell away, like it just wasn't, it wasn't the right fit anymore. Yeah, so, just like there wasn't a hesitation, you were just like let's go, I'm done.
Speaker 2:I think when I was podcasting and when I was on people's podcasts, that was a huge topic of conversation for when people would interview me is the process of pivoting and what that looks like. And I understand the challenges there, because let's say, for instance, that I was really connected to something Like I'll use my podcast as a great example. I was really connected to my podcast for a long time and I really loved doing the podcast for a long time. And I really loved doing the podcast for a long time and choosing to walk away from the podcast I did.
Speaker 2:I teetered back and forth on it for a little bit because I felt like I would let people down if I no longer did it. But then when I realized that I don't live for other people, I live for me, it didn't make sense to continue with something. So the hesitation was there. I experienced that. But I had to look inward to say am I doing this for me or am I doing it because that's what I think other people want from me like watching you, what like we talked about getting clear on that thing you wanted to do and then realizing everything else could fall away because again.
Speaker 1:I think in business especially and as solopreneurs, like we have to do it all, they say right, yeah, and you really cut ties on the things that weren't impacting your business anymore. Even to the point of like your personal social media. You don't post a lot on, no, just post about the events that are coming up and like you cut the podcast out, you cut the things that took up a lot of energy that would make it that you wouldn't be able to do all of these events.
Speaker 1:And you were able to focus on what was important getting in the rooms and doing the events and so I think sometimes too, for entrepreneurs who are listening to this and even for people in general, if your plate is full and you're trying to do it all, get clear on what that vision is, start to cut some of that shit out, because you don't need to be doing all these things. Like you said, you noticed you didn't have to be doing a podcast anymore. It wasn't attracting more people to your business. Like we're doing it for the sake of doing it and like, like I will say, diana is a really good podcaster, so for her, well, you are. And so for you to let that go, it's like the rest of the world would be like but Diana, you're so good at it, why would you let that go? And you're like it doesn't align with the vision anymore, and I think that that is really helpful to see in business was like watching you. Yeah, I'd be like it's Cincinnati, baby it's, and Diana loves Cincinnati.
Speaker 1:Okay, she took me on a tour and she's like this is a destination we love, cincinnati and I was like girl.
Speaker 2:everybody, everybody needs to come to Cincinnati. I have, I have strong feelings about how great this city is. I do, I literally, when we were like driving to to red river Gorge, I and this is this, and this is this, and this is this and what? What Cincinnati restaurants can we go to?
Speaker 1:we went to Taco Bell we don't want to talk about. But you know I wasn't mad and, yeah, she loves it. So getting clear on that, I think, was so cool, to just like watch you cut the things off that didn't need to be in your life anymore yeah, just very much so.
Speaker 2:And for those of you who are listening, I do need to say that, like I have a full-time job, like I work a nine to five and I travel for work, and so I I think a big piece of cutting, cutting elements out was recognizing that I don't do this full-time. And what do I have time for in my day, in my weekends? That one I want to do, I get excited to do, and then I have time to do because I work 40 hours a week and I travel for work. I travel across North America, like it's not it's not that I'm going to the next state or whatever. So I think, for those of you who are listening, whether you're an entrepreneur or not, think about your time constraints when it comes to these things. You said it earlier I do four events a month and that is a lot of work.
Speaker 2:If you host a dinner one night, you can handle that. That's in your wheelhouse, or maybe you don't necessarily have the capacity to host. But if you're trying to find friends like commit, commit to one event, commit to I'm going to go to this class one time, I'm going to go to this event one time, and then when you find something that lights that spark inside of you, maybe you make a friend and you instantly click keep showing up. That's when you keep showing up, but commit to starting somewhere and then build.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I love that commitment piece to it too, cause I think a lot of us we get scared or we say I'm too busy, or in the new year, oh yeah, you know what, it's a great time. You could start right now. Do you have any like focus for 2025?
Speaker 2:Actually, yes, and it's kind of counterintuitive to what we were talking about, but my focus for 2025 is to build more accountability with the members of the community. So I am committing to doing my four events a month, but my goal is to help women of the community who are looking for more to initiate that themselves. So almost in a way, passing the torch. So something that I did to kind of help promote this is inside the community. I started a bunch of group chats that says hey, this group chat is for people who want to explore restaurants, this group chat is for people who want to go to a hockey game, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so my main focus in 2025 is I am a disco ball. I recognize that I'm a disco ball, but maybe how can I help others to become a little bit of a disco ball instead of just me?
Speaker 1:Ooh, I love that. That's awesome, like what a great way to connect more people together?
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think it I was actually just talking to. So I recently launched a membership, but the membership is all in-person events and I had a woman join who has never been to a single event and I actually reached out to her and I was like I'm, you know, I'm I'm shocked, I'm really proud. Tell me why. What made you want to invest in yourself in this community when you had never once been to an event? And she goes. I needed the accountability. I needed to prove to myself that I can continue to show up and I put my money on the line, and I think that that was just further proof of that's what I need to grow, and 2025 is the accountability of the group members. I can't be the only disco ball moving forward If I am going to be an entrepreneur, the community is scaling too much, and so how can I help others to start building bridges as well?
Speaker 1:Oh, so cool. I love that and I just love what you're doing. Can you tell our listeners and I just love what you're doing. Can you tell our listeners if they're in Cincinnati Ohio?
Speaker 2:or close by. Where can they find you? Absolutely so Instagram is probably the absolute best place, at Fierce Ladies Collective, and then on Facebook if you want to join the community to join it's a Facebook group. It is completely free, but you'll see all the stuff that we're doing in there. It's just called the Fierce Ladies Collective. I will add one note I am so, so incredibly passionate about Cincinnati, but I do have women from all over the state of Ohio and even into Kentucky that come to events, especially my retreats. So if you're interested in maybe you can't come down to Cincinnati for a meal, but maybe you want to come to Cincinnati for a retreat. You know, you can check that out as well. Again, everything's going to be on Instagram, facebook and then my website, dianamariekellercom.
Speaker 1:Amazing. I'll be back. I'll be back to Ohio someday, I'm coming, and then maybe you could come up here to Nova Scotia too, and it's on my list. We could do a little swap because you can experience the wetness, the moisture, oh yeah, the moist air of Nova Scotia, which we just love so much.
Speaker 2:I want to come. I've been to a lot of the provinces, but I haven't really been to the east coast, so we're waiting for you.
Speaker 1:We're waiting for you I'm ready. I'm ready um, I can. Can I ask you a few questions, the questions that I ask every guest that comes on the podcast, which you've already been on. Let's see how they change. Yes, I don't even remember so we're gonna find out what's your favorite compliment to receive?
Speaker 2:This one I feel is going to. It really changes for me based on the season, but I think right now and I would say in light of where we are in this conversation in the community, I would say the biggest compliment that I can receive is just almost like a thank you for the way that I can receive is just almost like a thank you for the way that I've helped people along their journey. So I have one woman in mind who has specifically reached out to me that said you know, because of the experiences that you've created for me, I have helped other women in my life to continue to grow, get the therapy that they needed, and that all started with you. And so I think for me, just that thank you for being able to help women along their journey. Oh yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2:Music I know that's probably a super duper common one, but I really feel like music holds a really amazing healing, just amazing healing for a lot of people and for me, I think, listening to music, and it will transition like it'll. I'll listen to the grumpy music because I'm grumpy and then it'll transition into something a little bit more boppy. So I would say listen to music is probably where I would be right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I could see that now, being on a road trip with you and your sister Lori, so important they are like very particular on what the vibe is in the car, what the playlist is, what the energy is. Like you think about it, you're not just hitting shuffle up on your playlist.
Speaker 2:No, it's very intentional. I will tell you that Lori, my sister, is very intentional and I think that it is. It is because of her that that is so important for me.
Speaker 1:I love that. That's so funny, Do you? Well, speaking of music, do you have a song or a quote that boosts your confidence?
Speaker 2:Well, this one also changes, Okay.
Speaker 2:So I will say this when I was doing my podcast, this was a question that I always asked people and it kind of started a trend for me, and so, since I think 2022, I have always picked a song of the year, and so I will tell you the song that my 2024 theme song was called let's Go by Cartel, and it's the beginning of the song, like the opening lyrics are let me reintroduce myself as a man with a cause, and the reason that I picked this song this year is because the Fierce Ladies Collective in 2023, I didn't know what the vision for it, what the vision would be moving forward, and so, 2024, I went in with this song of like all right, it's time to reintroduce who I am, and so I will say that that song is probably the one I would pick, and I also had the immense pleasure of actually seeing them this year in concert, and the very first song that they played was that song, and that was really, really cool.
Speaker 2:So let's Go by Cartel is going to be my song. That I will say boost my confidence right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I love it. I love it. Well. Thank you so much, Diana, for being here and for sharing all your insights and just sharing your vulnerabilities with us. So thank you, my beautiful friend. Thank you for having me. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
