Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
The end of year push and accessing YOUR needs this season
Feeling like the end of the year is a seesaw between motivation and the desperate need for rest? You're not alone, and this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast promises a treasure trove of insights.
We'll unravel the delicate act of balancing hustle with much-needed downtime, focusing on what you personally require—whether it's the drive to push forward or the permission to pause. Plus, I'll offer exciting news about the Selfish Sisterhood's open enrolment and upcoming workshops with experts Randi Jarrett and Meg Cartwright, who will help us understand our hormones and lay out a blueprint for our career aspirations.
Together, we'll navigate the myriad of changes that can make or break our mental health and confidence, especially during transitional periods. As we explore the empowering strength of sisterly support, I'll encourage you to find joy in the small, consistent actions that light up your path, even during the hectic holiday season.
If you find yourself inspired by our conversation, share the love with friends or on social media, and let's continue to shine and uplift each other through every season of life.
Self(ish) Sisterhood BEST DEAL OF THE YEAR: $99 for your 3 month membership is on until Friday, November 8, 2024. Join now before we close the doors.
--> https://jessclerke.com/self-ish-sisterhood
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I am sipping a little coffee and I know I've mentioned it before like I haven't been drinking a lot of coffee, not necessarily just for pregnancy reasons. Honestly, some days I really wish I could. They're just, I don't know, not necessarily the desire there that there used to be and uh, but today there is the desire. Okay, and I want to know how you're feeling with this time change. I know, like the two times a year that we do it. Everybody's always like why do we even do this? Right? And I am feeling that today as I sit down and I record this episode and I have a little sippy sip of some coffee and do my best to motivate myself to show up this week. And that's what this podcast episode is all about. It's that motivation to show up for yourself until the end of the year.
Speaker 1:This is the time of year where we often tend to put everything aside and focus on just the bare minimum of things, because this season can be exhausting, and I also understand that this year is different than other years, with there being elections and so much other energy in the world that it can be overwhelming and overstimulating even just to survive right now. So I don't want you to take this episode today and be like, oh well, jess told me I had to do these things and now I have to add more to my plate. I want you to check in with yourself first. Okay, check in with your body right now, check in with your mind, take a few minutes and you can even pause this episode now or do it as soon as the episode is done. But I want you to check in with yourself first on where you're at and what you need. If you look at it as like a sliding scale or a thermometer and you're like, how high am I getting Like? Am I at the top, at my burnout? Because it does seem lately, a lot of sisters in the sisterhood I'm seeing it often with just like burnout and energy fatigue and there is just a lot of energy going on. And I know I sound super woo when I say it, but it's the truth and I'm really sensitive to it, so I can feel it and it can be overwhelming. And so check in with yourself to see where you are before you really listen to this episode and be like, do I really need motivation right now or do I need rest?
Speaker 1:And I am a huge, huge advocate for prioritizing rest, even when you're in seasons where you want success, and I think that that's one thing that I've really focused on, especially since getting pregnant. But even before that, I remember last summer being with I had SIBO and really prioritizing rest in that season, too was so important. So I just want you to remember even though there's going to be a lot of stuff on the internet right now hustle, culture and all of the things understand, is this your season of hustle or is this your season of rest? And you can pick. You get to decide and it can be a balance of both. For me it's a balance of both Knowing that baby is coming in I don't even know how many days I stopped putting in the timer because it just stressed me out to see and I'm like, oh my gosh, because it could be more or less than that too right. So it's like I have no idea how I'm going to get all of these things done, or all these ideas done, or all of this stuff prepped, move my office to the basement, set up a baby room, but then also, like there's so many ideas that are coming down for the sisterhood and for the podcast and for goals for the end of the year and all of the things, and it can be really overwhelming to look at a countdown. So I just wanted to remind you that this is a season to do what's best for you, but you have to get really clear on that.
Speaker 1:And before I dive into today's episode about that motivation to push through to the end of the year, I wanted to give you a couple little things that are going on right now that doors are open for the Selfish Sisterhood for the first time since Speak Up and we took a little pause on letting people in just so that we could have all of our focus and all of our energy on the event. But doors are open and with that this month we have an extra special month with our goal setting call, which is going to be this week. So if you sign up right when this episode launches which I have seen already some of you have if you sign up pretty early, you'll be able to get in on that goal setting call, which is great. But we also have two workshops this month. Typically we have one, but I really wanted my very good friend, um Randy, to come in and to talk about her hormone journey, her hormone health and also hormone and sex and really just kind of bringing these pieces together as women so that we can understand our hormones and also our sex drive and really focus on what's important for us and this journey and how she does it without cycle syncing. So I'm so excited for Randy to be able to come in and to do that workshop for us.
Speaker 1:But then we also have my very good friend, meg Cartwright, coming in to do a career mapping call for us, which is really navigating, and again this could be for entrepreneurs or for those who are in the corporate space to be able to understand how to get to where they want to go and what changes they might need to make on their journey in order to get there. And I really wanted this call to be before 2025. I have all of our calls booked out until like April of next year, right, and I was like this is a really important one. So let's just do two workshops this month so that we can map that out and get a better understanding for 2025 before we even get there. Right, so you could start to take some of those steps now through this workshop and then also putting a plan in place for what it is that you want coming up in the new year.
Speaker 1:And what better way to do it than with a community of incredible women who want to see you succeed, like they want to see you thrive? And one of my favorite things is that we have this group chat in the sisterhood and people do drop in there when they're going through really difficult times and also when they're celebrating really big and beautiful things, like. People feel safe to do that in this space, and I love it. It's all virtual, so you'll be able to access it from wherever you are in the world. We span over six time zones, which I love and it does get complicated with six time zones but allows us the space for everyone to be able to join in wherever they are on their journey and wherever they are in the world.
Speaker 1:So if you've been thinking about joining the Selfish Sisterhood, or you've been watching on social media or you see us on the morning clubs, now is the perfect time to join, because we have the best deal of the year going on. You will never see this price again. It is just for the month of November, and even when I say the month of November, it closes on Friday, so you have about five days to be able to hop in and to get this deal. It's $99 for three months, so you'll get your three month membership for $99. It will set you up for a subscription to sign up for quarterly memberships at that price of $99, which essentially gets you a month of the Selfish Sisterhood for free, which is wild and such an incredible deal. But this would allow you access to be able to join in for our December workshops, which is with my very good friend, emily Helderman, talking about mental health. Around the holidays, we also have our January Vision Board workshops to help you to map out 2025 and what it is that you want and what you want to create. We also have some self-love and self-healing workshops with my very good friend, audrey Rose, in February, and so much more. We do group chats and biz chats and goal setting and Q&As and all of the things. Every week.
Speaker 1:There's something for you in this community and I'm just really excited to finally be opening the doors again. They will only be open for a short time because, yes, you might be thinking, jess, aren't you having a baby soon? How are you going to be able to manage this? I have a really special team that's going to be able to help me with this through that season of change that's coming. But the doors the last time they'll ever be open is January. So if you want to get in now, at the best deal, and then also before they close, until I can navigate life and the journey of new life afterwards, they will not be open again for a while.
Speaker 1:So this is the time to hop in with the best deal of the year before you miss your chance to become a sister, and one of the things to hop in with the best deal of the year before you miss your chance to become a sister, and one of the things that I love too about this community I'll stop rambling about it after this but especially if you're local, if you're in the Halifax area, you get first dibs on events and retreats and anything that comes out before the rest of the world does. And so if you have had your eye on socials and you're like, oh, are those socials going to sell out? Or you know, I like to keep them small and intimate for a lot of reasons. One, so it's easier to connect with people, and so for my introverts like myself included, it helps us to just have a space that feels really good and less overwhelming. So things can sell out pretty quickly. And, especially as a sisterhood grows, you always get first dibs. If you're in there, tickets launch to you before anyone else, retreats launch to you before anyone else, and event tickets will launch to you before anyone else, and I just love that aspect of the sisterhood. So it is a really, really exciting time and, yeah, best deal of the year. So if you have questions, send them my way. I'll put all the information in the show notes for you, but you can also send me an email and ask your questions before the deal runs out, but I just wanted to remind you, doors are open and you are so welcome to join us in this amazing community of women who want to see you thrive. They want to see you feeling confident and loving yourself and stepping into your power. It's just a matter of you starting to believe it too, and with that, let's get into it.
Speaker 1:I wanted to give you a little update, a little life update. I feel like my life feels very confusing right now in the season, and I've talked about that a bit too. It's just because everything is changing and Glenn and I my husband we've been talking just about like relationships that might change and friendships that might change, and the community is changing, and it's just been a really interesting journey to navigate change but also to really prioritize that mental health aspect of my own confidence and my confidence journey, knowing that life is going to change really soon. I think it's really easy for us to often be like, oh well, it's going to change again soon, so I might as well do nothing and then deal with it, right? But I like to do it in a way that feels manageable for me and there's always enough space for us to navigate that, and so I've been really prioritizing my confidence and my mental health on this journey and the rest and the healing that I've needed before the baby comes, and I feel like there is some a lot of things that I need to mentally prepare on for birth and that fourth trimester that people talk about, but also leading up to becoming a parent and knowing that change is happening.
Speaker 1:As someone who has helped many women through this and finding their confidence and navigating the changes in their life through motherhood, I know there's some things that I need to do to prioritize it too and making sure that those joy aspects are still a top priority in my life and someone listening to this who's a mom is probably like haha, joke's on you, jess, just get ready, right? Everybody loves to say that Just you wait until insert the thing, and I know that and I think the piece of that too, knowing that there's so much unknown I get to control the things that I can control now, right, because I do know some things about today and tomorrow and the next day, right. There's some things about this season that I'm in right now that I can control, and when that happens, I want to be able to prioritize that. So moving my body in a way that feels good and making sure happens. I want to be able to prioritize that, so moving my body in a way that feels good and making sure that I am working on the things that light me up. I'm working on my somatic coaching certification so that I can help with the process of trauma, also through myself, but to help others with that too, and really diving in deep into human design and prioritizing you know the things about human design that light me up and helping you to feel more confident on your journey through understanding your human design too and just making sure that I am focusing on the things that light me up. And I know that's not a case that we can do all the time. There are things we're going to have to do sometimes that don't always feel 100%, but if I can at least prioritize some pockets of joy through this series and through this season, I know that it's going to help me have a stronger base for when baby comes Again. It's those habits, right, if we can form those habits now.
Speaker 1:And, as I said, you don't have to be pregnant to be throwing your schedule out the window this time of year, I know, especially for my American friends. We just finished Halloween, and then we are going into your Thanksgiving season, and then you're going into your Christmas season and I have seen a lot of people decorating already. You do you. I love that for you. I like to joke about it, but we wouldn't actually do it, especially because we get a real tree. But it has just been a really busy energy season and we are not even in the thick of it yet.
Speaker 1:And I put into the calculator for like how many days until the end of the year and it popped up that there was 57. Now that's going to vary based on when you listen to this episode. Okay, so if you want to pop it into yours and you can see how many days are left until the end of the year, you do that. But right now, when we're recording this, there's 57 days until the end of the year and that's a lot of time. It's a lot of time for us to just be throwing it out the window and to say you know what? I'll try again next year, I'll do better next year, maybe my goals will happen next year. Or, you know, I'll start moving my body next year and I'm with you for some of these things.
Speaker 1:There are things that we can push off, but again, like I said at the beginning of the call, we need to understand and get really clear with our bodies on what we need in this season. What do we? We need right now and, as you know, I am a person who is very like I think it's very important to do this in a way that feels manageable for you. I don't want you to do it in a way that's like, yeah, let's go cannonball deep and then Christmas day you're working like 12, 14 hours a day just to keep up. That's not what I want for you, but If it's what you want, you, do you. But I want you to navigate what it is that you need in this season.
Speaker 1:And for me, I need bite-sized, manageable things that I can do consistently in order to feel prepped, in order to feel ready, in order for my body to be strong in this season, because I know I'm just getting bigger and bigger and bigger every day. Man, I should take a video of me trying to roll out of bed just to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And every night Glenn says are you okay? No, I'm not okay, I just need to be, and it hurts. So prioritizing for me that prenatal yoga and moving my body in a way that feels good and keeping myself really strong so that I can keep walking until the end, until the baby comes. But maybe you're not in this journey where it hurts to get out of bed to pee in the middle of the night, and I love that for you. So what is it that you need?
Speaker 1:One of the ways that I do this to get clear, especially in these seasons that can be really busy and really overwhelming, especially in these seasons that can be really busy and really overwhelming is just like sitting with myself, with no distractions, no phones, no music. You can have your cup of coffee if you want. You can have a cup of tea, because I do find that that like sensation and that warming in your hands can be, I find really helpful and comforting. So find your things that are comfortable to you. Maybe it's a scent, maybe it is a beverage to have in your hands, maybe it's just to have absolutely nothing to you. Maybe it's a scent, maybe it is a beverage to have in your hands, maybe it's just to have absolutely nothing around you. Um, cause sometimes I love having my pets around and other times it's easier for me to just have space.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, figure out what it is for you that would give you a little pocket of clarity and sit and just sit there. I know, oh my gosh, I know there's people rolling their eyes at me right now. They're like I don't have time to sit there. Okay, but you do one minute, five minutes, and again you can do this, if you want, in the shower or when you're driving your car, because, again, as we've talked about so many times in this podcast, if that's the times that you get ideas typically means you're not slowing down enough. But I also understand that if you're driving your car, because, again, as we've talked about so many times in this podcast, if that's the times that you get ideas, typically means you're not slowing down enough. But I also understand that if you're really busy and the only time that you can check in with yourself and your body is when you're driving your car, okay, turn the radio off.
Speaker 1:Do not close your eyes, obviously, but turn the radio off and just sit with yourself as you're driving and maybe ask yourself some questions like what do I need right now? What would be really helpful in this season. Do I have energy? Yes, no, do I, you know, need to do this? You can ask yourself these yes or no questions. You could ask yourself some really open-ended questions and just see what comes up for you, and this is going to tell you if you have the energy to do a little bit more this season right and more for yourself.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's more for your business, more for your work, or maybe you're totally checked out and you're burnt out as F and you need rest. So that's going to mean prioritizing going to bed when you can go to bed right, as early as possible. Do not stay up to watch that extra Netflix episode. Don't stay up just because your husband's staying up or your partner's staying up. I want you to go to bed. Or where can you get extra sleep on the weekend? Can you sleep in?
Speaker 1:Again, I know there are people rolling their eyes because they have kids and they're not going to be able to do that and the time change just happened. But if you are feeling that burnout, I need you to prioritize some kind of pocket that's going to help you to feel more rested. And if that's a nap, if that's self-care, if that's going to the gym and moving your body. I actually feel, in the seasons that I'm the most tired, movement can help getting out in nature, getting that walk in, getting that sunshine in the sun is setting at five freaking 30 now. Okay, sometimes we need to be prioritizing the sunlight, so maybe it's sitting out in the sun for five minutes or prioritize taking your vitamin D supplements.
Speaker 1:Do what it is that's going to help you to feel better right now and I think that when we do these things based on what it is that we need in this season, not based on what society is telling us we need, because this is a season that society is going to be telling us we need more, right? Well, we need to get all the gifts and we need to prep all the dinners. And you know we got to make the turkey and we got to do this. And we need to get all the gifts and we need to prep all the dinners. And you know we got to make the turkey and we got to do this and we got to do that. Gotta decorate. You know I'm behind already, right, but you're not. You're not. You're not behind.
Speaker 1:Society is trying to convince you that you are. Society is trying to convince you that you're not good enough and they're going to keep convincing you as long as you're believing it. But when you can spend that time with yourself, to sit with yourself and to get clear on your needs, it's going to help you break from that mold of what society is telling you and what your parents are telling you and what you know Sally, your coworker, is telling you and that comparison trap that we're getting into and it's going to allow you that space to see what you really need and focus on you. And if it's different than what society and Sally and mom has been telling you, that's okay too. And this is your permission slip.
Speaker 1:If you're like me and sometimes you can get stuck in that trap and I've been on that trap of scrolling reels and you see everyone with their cute houses and all their things Close your eyes and remember that how you do it is better than that, because it's what you need and it's what you want. And if you can focus on what you need and what you want versus comparison to everybody else, you are going to be happier. If you are the person who is like happier with a popcorn garland this holiday season, even though you see all over social media the beautiful garlands that are so perfect and da-da-da-da, but you like a popcorn garland. I want you to make the freaking popcorn garland and enjoy it, and remember that doing it your way is going to make you happier than doing it anyone else's way, even if society glamorizes it as more beautiful, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:What matters is what you want this season, and knowing that we're having this push into the end of the year, this motivation, and knowing that we're having this push into the end of the year, this motivation do you need to be pushing or do you need this extra season of rest? Do you need this extra season of slow down? And I think it's so important that we figure out what season that we're in before we start listening to more podcasts and to social media posts and all these things that are going to tell you to stop giving up before the end of the year or to try this new recipe or to wrap your presents like this. I don't need more things to tell me what to do. What I need is to be able to check in with myself and prioritize what it is that I want and need this season, and same goes for you.
Speaker 1:You know what's best, sis, okay, you do. You might not always believe it, but you do. And if you were like, okay, but I don't know, jess, like this is hard, yeah, it is, yeah, it really is. This is hard work, and if you need a space to be able to figure out a little bit more, to teach you some things that might help you to navigate, understanding and listening to yourself more, this is the best time to get into the selfish sisterhood. I truly do believe that this is a place for you to navigate, understanding and listening to yourself more. This is the best time to get into the Selfish Sisterhood. I truly do believe that this is a place for you to navigate your confidence and stepping into who you are in a place that feels so freaking good, a place that you can be 100% you and so check out the information in the show notes for the Selfish Sisterhood. But I am just so excited for this next season, both for the change that we're going through, but also just to see like I love the holidays. So make sure you're doing what's best for you and stepping into your power and until next week, I wish you the most confident season ever, the most confident week of your life.
Speaker 1:You got this, sis. What's's up? Sis, I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
