Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Speak Up! Crafting Community and Confidence
Ever wonder how life’s biggest challenges can turn into your most creative periods? Join me, Jess, on the Selfish Confidence Podcast as I share the rollercoaster journey of organizing a major event in Halifax while navigating the ups and downs of pregnancy. From low energy and sickness to bursts of creativity, discover how I managed expectations and overcame hurdles to bring my authentic self to the stage. This episode unravels the beauty of embracing change and the unexpected growth that comes with it.
Discover the magic that unfolds when introverts step out, mingle, and form genuine connections. Pre-event networking turned nerves into newfound friendships as attendees found comfort in shared experiences. Witness the joy as business connections blossom and personal dreams are realized, extending far beyond the event itself. This gathering wasn’t just about events; it was about creating a lasting community, a personal highlight for someone who once struggled to find their tribe.
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Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and this is our first podcast episode post-speak up post my very like large event here in Halifax, nova Scotia, where I live, and I'm really excited to bring you the tea to chat all about it. And I've been thinking a lot about how I wanted this episode to go and originally I was really hoping that we could have done like a pre and a post speak up conversation, even when I had like a lot of my team who traveled in from away here at the event. But it got crazy, guys, it got crazy, my friends, and it was like from the second that everybody got here. There was almost like not a chance to even breathe, to like create some fun reels or to sit down and do a podcast episode for you. So I'm really glad that I'm able to do it now and I also want to thank you so much for the support and the love through this event, through the podcast and also just with a little bit of flexibility lately. I know I've missed a few episodes in the last month, just mostly for my own energy sake, and I needed a little bit of grace and I'm really, really grateful for you for giving that to me and for helping me through this season. That has been crazy with planning the event but also with growing a human. At the same time and I think many of you know this I am an optimist who sees glitter all around me all the time, literally sitting here with like the confetti from the weekend and the balloons from the weekend and this beautiful disco ball that we do have.
Speaker 1:But it was also really really hard to pull this off pregnant. Had I been, I think, any further along than I was or am, I should say I don't know if I could have done it. I don't know if I could have done it. So, to anyone who has been pregnant before and understands what I'm talking about, my friends, I'm sending you some love, I'm sending you some extra strength, because sometimes we just need a little bit more, a little bit more, and with that being said, everything's really good in that department. Pregnancy, I think, fingers crossed, we're finally done barfing.
Speaker 1:I'm 24 weeks, fingers crossed, and just moving into this direction of a season of both creativity and a lot of ideas, which I'll get into a bit more in this podcast episode too but just growth and enjoying the season of like, birth of new ideas not even necessarily birth and growth of a human, which I think is really cool. Somebody told me that once they said you know what Like being pregnant is so cool, they lied to me no, just joking. Being pregnant is so cool, all of the new ideas that come to you. It's like this, this beautiful season of creation, and as you go through the season of creation, like it being such a beautiful thing for your business, to it being such a beautiful thing for your business too, it being such a beautiful thing for your life, because you can start to see new ideas and feel new things. And I'm going to tell you for the first 20 weeks I did not see any of that because I was so sick and so in the weeds of just like, how am I going to do this? How am I really going to step into this season? I wanted to stand on this stage as the best version of myself. I had planned, you know, a really strong and pretty intensive workout plan in order to be in the best shape to get on the stage Like I really wanted to be able to, like karate, chop in the air and do all these wild things and run around the room and just physically be able to do things that I couldn't do earlier this year and then also just like mentally, to be in the best space possible, because I wanted to truly bring my best self to this stage.
Speaker 1:And then I got pregnant and it definitely put more of a strain on me than I had anticipated, and Glenn likes to remind me of this. He's like Jess me than I had anticipated, and Glenn likes to remind me of this. He's like Jess, like don't be so hard on yourself. Like you lost three months and really, truly we did, in the sense where I was just really sick, really low energy, really struggled to get off the couch for for three months of this year and even even push it to four months of this year, and that didn't mean anything paused. I just did a lot more work from the couch. I did a lot more virtual calls than in-person meetups Anyone who typically sees me in person for things or comes to socials or anything like that. Those had to go on pause for a little bit just in order to get my energy back and to focus on what was important in the season and what's so interesting.
Speaker 1:Today I really want to talk about the three top lessons I learned through planning this event and what's so interesting. Today. I really want to talk about the three top lessons I learned through planning this event. But what's really interesting in this is that it went off smashingly Is that a word? It went off so well despite there being a season of really big difficulty in the middle, despite there being, you know, some hiccups along the way with planning and not even just necessarily planning, but also just with managing.
Speaker 1:My own expectations was really really wild and like, just like there were some things along the way and I really wasn't sure if we were going to make it to that end goal of actually having the event, and I remember someone telling me that through the planning process, before I even really started diving into it, they were just like there's going to be a point where you don't think this event is going to happen, and there were some points along the way where that happened. But through the process of trusting and believing and moving forward, it went amazingly, like the day itself, the whole weekend could not have been better. And there I didn't believe that. I didn't believe that for many months that it could happen, because of just so many things that were being thrown in our directions. And so for those of you who weren't at the event, let me give you a little bit of background so you can kind of see it, you can get in the mode, you can kind of feel things before I share with you like the three big lessons that I learned in the process of planning this event and also in the process of executing the event, because for so long we've been talking about the planning process and the speakers and the people and all of the things, when in reality there are so many things beyond that that I would really love to share with you Because, again, I know there's a lot of people who listen to this podcast, who are podcasters or who are entrepreneurs or who have dreams and visions of being speakers and starting whatever it is that's on their heart.
Speaker 1:And even if it's not, a lot of people still love the behind the scenes things and the stories that can come with it, and I just want to give it to you straight. I want you to know and have all the information. So if you even listen to this podcast and at the end of it you're like I have more questions, jess, like I want to know about this piece or this piece, I'm an open book. I want to share with you absolutely everything, because I think we can learn from each other. We can truly learn from what you've experienced in your life. You can learn from the experiences in my life and even just through this journey lately of pregnancy and learning about everybody else's pregnancy journeys and knowing they're so different, all of them being so different.
Speaker 1:It's been really interesting to kind of learn from that perspective too, and I truly do believe you cannot know something until you've experienced it. But if you are never going to experience it, like so many things in my life, I'm never going to get the chance to experience what you've experienced, right, I could learn from you, I could hear you, I can listen, I can empathize and understand. I might not full on understand it or know it or experience it in my own way, but I think it's really cool if we can be collaborative and to share these experiences so we can learn from one another. And that's why I think, with an event like this, there's only so much that you can also listen to people and then experience. But I'm really open to sharing absolutely anything. It is that you want to learn and know and grow from, because I think that's what makes our community the best community is just being able to have that collaborative experience and even recently, with the hurricanes going on in Florida, like even experiencing it through other people's eyes and asking them questions and seeing how they're feeling, I think we can really learn a lot, even if we're not going through it. We can feel the energy and we can learn from them in a way that I think can be really eye-opening for the world. And if we were all to do that, man, I think this world would be a really cool place. But we're still working on that, right, we're still a work in progress, but I wanted to dive into yeah, a little bit about how the event looks.
Speaker 1:So, if you weren't there Saturday night or Saturday, we first started. If you're in the Selfish Sisterhood, we started with a sisterhood lunch to kick off the weekend, to cheers to the weekend, to really get to know people on a more intimate level, and I wanted it to be a really tight knit group of people so that you got the experience to spend some time in person with the sisters and also in person with me. Before the weekend even started, before VIP even happened, we got to kick it off together, which I love. I love so much. I am a one-to-one kind of girl, so it was very overwhelming, even all weekend, but especially during the event, like, like the full day event of Speak Up because you're one to 75, right, like you're one to a group of people. Very rarely in the day could I have been one to one with someone for more than a minute, just because you're being pulled in so many different directions, right. But at lunch you got more of an opportunity to be like one to a couple or one to one or really dive into some really deep conversations, which I loved and that was really impactful for me and also to sit at the end of the table. So this lunch we had it in the hotel that a lot of us were staying at and sitting there at the end of the table and we just had to keep bringing chairs over and keep bringing tables over because more and more sisters kept showing up and it was a moment of holy moly.
Speaker 1:This community that was just an idea in my head not that long ago, maybe two years ago when I first launched a course has been growing and evolving and it has such committed sisters I'm going to be emotional, let me just think about it. It has such committed sisters that they wanted to be a part of this lunch and they traveled from all over Canada and the US to come to this event. Not many of them are local, they're from all over. We span over six time zones in the Selfish Sisterhood and I think that's a really beautiful thing. Same on that collaborative experience where we can learn from other people and share from other people and really just like listen to what everyone's going through in different seasons. I think that can really help when we're spread out over so many provinces and states, even though we can't have a lunch like that, except at Speak Up once a year, but we can do that every week on our calls and when we get to hang out and everything virtually. So it's just really cool to see that come to life.
Speaker 1:But the Selfish, dishonored Lunch was freaking fun and it was just a great way to kick off the weekend and to start things, especially for those who are a little nervous or maybe needed a little bit of like time to adjust, as we like, coming from traveling in people, literally got off the planes and came to lunch Like that's where we were at, and it was just a really beautiful way to see this community, that how it has grown and how it has been, how how beautiful and impactful the women in this community are. Like I just think it's the coolest thing. So then after that we were able to quickly I mean quickly get ready, uh, check into our hotel and then run out to our VIP sunset cruise that we had, which was on a boat called the Queens Harbor and we did a two hour cruise from about five to 7 PM around the Halifax Harbor and, if you're not familiar with the area, we are like a container ship pier, like there is boats everywhere. We are on the coast, okay, and so it was really cool to go out there and to see the cruise ships and to see the other boats and, to, you know, go into some of these like smaller coves that were really nice and calm and beautiful. And I think I saw a whale. Nobody believes me. I saw something. Okay, I saw something, and I didn't say it on the microphone because I was too afraid to look like a silly person. So I was like Jess, that's garbage over there, but I think I saw a whale and I'll take that as a sign for just me if it was only me who saw it.
Speaker 1:But we had this really beautiful experience of being able to network the night before and I think what was really special about that is that it shifted the energy so that you could get rid of some of those nerves that you're feeling when you're already going to one of these events and connect with people, meet the people and realize you had nothing to worry about because everyone coming was so cool and so amazing and it was just a really fun time to, yeah, play some games, do some like mingling, forcing people to talk to each other, cause I am the person, I'm an introvert. So I'm the person who's like, oh gosh, like I do not love to mingle and I'm not the person to like push myself into a conversation and like, awkwardly, stand there, you know. So I really wanted us to be able to shift and meet people and I do think that changed the energy of of the event the next day, because you did know people and coming off the boat and again, I was one of the last people coming off the boat, making sure that everybody and everything was all situated before we hopped off watching groups of people who just met and watching them like walk to go have dinner, like groups of people to go out and have dinner or to go out and have a couple of drinks after. Or there was someone even on the boat who was like I don't know if anyone's down, but like I would really love to, you know, go get a couple of cocktails after this or connect more. And even since getting the feedback, people were like, well, maybe make it longer or maybe plan something for some of us to get together after. And honestly, I don't think I needed to.
Speaker 1:Like it happened organically and even for some of us I was like you go have fun, I need to go and prep for tomorrow, um, and just like sit with myself for a bit, but like we grabbed some ice cream, we walked back to the hotel and then we hung out in my hotel room for a while too, and it was just really cool Even from that standpoint. People who aren't always together in the same rooms, who are traveling from all over, to get a few hours together in a smaller and intimate way. Again, I like it really helps for me to have that more intimate approach to things. It was just really, really wonderful. And, yeah, watching the groups of friends go to go have dinner and hearing the stories after like oh, we went for dinner here or we did this or we did that, was so cool, was like beyond cool, because I think creating these events is one thing and facilitating these events is one thing.
Speaker 1:Watching the ripple effect that happens after these events from friendships that are grown and connections that are made and new business connections and things like that that are created because they met at something that I put on and I have nothing to do with it, other than I created the event and invited you is the best feeling. It's the best feeling, like that's all I ever wanted, especially when it came to living away and living in Barbados. All I ever wanted was for people for me personally at that point in my life to find something like that, to find a place where I could find my people, and unfortunately I never found it down there. I found a dog instead, who I love with all my heart. But it's not the same as a best friend, right, but it was really cool to watch that in person and to see it come to life as something I always wish that I had back in the day, and I think that's where a lot of dreams and ideas come from. It was also really cool to have people from not this world, not the world of my work, come and experience Like I had my best friend from like we met in the seventh grade and have been best friends ever since come and experience this event and experience kind of the world that I live in and the things that I've put together. She's never really gotten a chance to do that and same with my sister. As much as she listens to this podcast hey, what's up, I see you I she's never had a chance to see the in-person benefits of it and also the connections that can come from it and the people like I can tell you over and over again, the people that I bring together are absolutely magical. I think that's my gift that I bring together the best people. You don't get to experience it until you get to experience it. And so even for these people who are from a totally different world of mine right, my family, my friends they got to come and be a part of it and that was really really, really cool, full circle, weird moment for me and I just absolutely loved it.
Speaker 1:And then Sunday we had our full day event. So doors opened at nine. It went till about like four, 35 o'clock. We had a variety of really incredible speakers, a lot of compliments on speaker choices. Again, I handpicked everyone. I got a lot of messages, a lot of emails from people who were like I want to speak on your stage and I'm like cool, good for you.
Speaker 1:I am very selective on who gets an opportunity to have a microphone at my events and who even like, gets to be a vendor at the events. I was very, very, very selective for a lot of reasons because one, the energy has to be right when you are creating a space that is to help women have more confidence. I am picking people who not necessarily have the best confidence, because we all know I'm still figuring this out as I go and it's ever-changing, especially now through this pregnancy journey. It is something that I am learning every single day, but it is about the openness that people have, the generosity and the kindness that people have. The energy is so important.
Speaker 1:So I was very particular with the booths, very particular with who would be able to sell at this event, and all of the vendors had amazing days. We had our Aura photography with Aura U. We had our Aura Photography with Aura U. We had our self-care sponsor with Voda Retreats. We had Infinity Links with jewelry oh my gosh with beautiful permanent jewelry. We had Landoni Skin, who was there with this all-natural skincare, which is beautiful, and Nova Scotia Cookie Company with their delicious cookies that I have been eaten way too many of, but it was absolutely incredible. These vendors really brought this beautiful energy that was so welcoming and kind and I wanted it to be specific to having more confidence, like how could you purchase something or invest in something that was physically going to help you have more confidence and that, for me, was like the icing on the cake that it really needed to be perfect and same with our speakers.
Speaker 1:I wanted our speakers to. I wanted to feel like you were coming in and hanging out with me and my best friends for the whole day, so that it would open the energy for you to make new connections and make new best friends and to build your confidence and to step into seasons that maybe you weren't sure of. Like that, to me, was really important, so I hand selected people well before I even started planning this event. That would really contribute to not only your confidence but to the energy of making new connections and making new friendships. Like that, to me, was really important and it went off smashingly. And then top it off with our panel our Shining Sisters panel was so perfect.
Speaker 1:The stories that were on that panel, again hand selected by myself and my assistant, emily. But you had to apply. So you had to have a ticket in order to apply and you sent a 90 second video with your story, with what you'd want to share on that stage. And we selected them for a variety of different reasons so that people could hear from different stories and relate to different stories and maybe be able to see themselves on that stage next year and I think that worked, because there's a lot of people who were like I wanna be on this stage next year and I love that energy. That's how I've gotten to speak Side note real quick. That's how I've gotten to speak Side note real quick. That's how I've gotten to speak on a lot of stages.
Speaker 1:I've gone to events, I've connected with people and then the following year you know I have spoken on those stages you have to get in these rooms if you want to speak on stages. I'm just saying, okay, if you were listening to this and you're like, oh well, I never go to events but I'd love to be a public speaker, it's not how it works. You really need to foster these relationships and for me it's so important to have the right connections and the right friendships and the right relationships on those stages. And again, energy is everything to me. So I'm really particular.
Speaker 1:Not all events are like that. Maybe you've gone to an event and you're just like, oh, that speaker didn't really hit, it just might not be the right energy, and so I'm very selective. And if you were in the room and at this event, you have a higher chance of getting on the stage next year than maybe someone else who didn't come. And I'm not saying if you didn't come and you're like I want to come next year and I want to be in, I'm not saying you don't have a chance and you're like I want to come next year and I want to be in, I'm not saying you don't have a chance. I'm just saying getting in these rooms, being a part of the events before and allowing yourself that time and that space to marinate and create those connections and to foster relationships with the people who are creating the events, makes a really, really big impact on you. Having more opportunities on those stages.
Speaker 1:Just saying, okay, side note for you, but the panel was fire, absolutely incredible and I've gotten a lot on the feedback forums that said the panel was one of their favorite parts. So if you're listening to this and you were on the Shining Sisters panel, you absolutely crushed it, not only from my eyes as someone who sees you and loves you so deeply, but from the eyes of the room. The room saw you and connected with you and loves you so deeply, but from the eyes of the room. The room saw you and connected with you and loved you with your stories and everything that you're going through. So, and no matter, like I'm not saying, this panel was filled with people who are 18 steps ahead. I actually think that's why people connect with the panel, sometimes more than speakers, because they're in the seasons of change and they're figuring things out as they go and they're vulnerable enough to share it, more so than like, oh well, like she's already like 10 years in business, I can't connect with that. You could connect with these people because they're in it right now and they're vulnerable enough to share that, and I just think that's the coolest thing.
Speaker 1:But the whole day went off really, really well, with great energy. The food was good and the people were good and the connections that happened in that room. I already have so many ideas for next year and for how we can do it a little bit differently to create more time for connection and for love. And, and also, I will have more coffee. Number one feedback on the forums was like more coffee, like we had a lunch break, coffee break with our lunch. I guess that's not enough and as someone who doesn't drink a lot of coffee even not pregnant I just like I thought one was enough and it's not Okay. So I got you guys, I promise, I promise. Okay, but that was one of the big pieces of the feedback was more coffee and, hopefully, some more time for connection, because I think once people realized how cool everyone was in the room and how magical every single person in this room was and is, they were like I want more time with these people, jess. I want more time with these people and, yeah, I promise you there's going to be more time whether that's coming to socials here in person, joining the Selfish Sisterhood and meeting some of these people, even virtually, or just like getting yourself in rooms like this where you can meet more amazing people, it is going to happen and it is going to grow and it's going to be the coolest thing. So it's.
Speaker 1:It was a very, very wonderful weekend and, if I'm being truly honest with you, the full day was so much for me that at the end of it, I couldn't I was basically numb to being able to see how magical it was. And Monday, after dropping Emily and a few other people Ashley was with me too off at the airport and I just cried from the second I dropped them off to basically the second I went to bed. I just needed so much time to release all of the stress that I had been holding on to with planning this event and all of the energy that went into it and the pure exhaustion post event and maybe even some of the energies of went into it and the pure exhaustion post event and maybe even some of the energies of people in the room right, because it was such a interesting experience. There's so many people who were like I've never done anything like this before. Whoa, I need some time to process it, that processing energy I absorb and just needed to release some of it too. But I truly do believe a lot of it was my own energy and almost like a shedding a layer of myself to up-level to something new, to that next thing. And maybe you felt that too, if you were very emotional after and maybe even still a week later, quite emotional after. Lean into that energy and what that's telling you. What are those tears and all of the things telling you that you need to shed?
Speaker 1:In this season I notice this actually a lot. It's a pattern, typically, where I do something that maybe I didn't think I could do, which is a lot of things. I don't think I can do a lot of things and then I pull it off. But I remember, especially with my second retreat, my second retreat a couple years ago, and I cried so much the following day. I was like why? Why am I crying? Like this is supposed to be a good feeling, right, this is supposed to be a celebratory season of like you did it. You pulled it off something you didn't think you could do. Season of like you did it. You pulled it off something you didn't think you could do and I've just started to learn to acknowledge and to accept that day of emotions and feelings, whether it's shedding all the things that I absorbed from other people or shedding a layer of myself. I need to take that time to do that, because that's where the healing happens and that's also where the growth happens. Like that is next level growth that can come from you actually feeling those things that you've been holding onto for so long.
Speaker 1:I am a person who can kind of cocoon for a bit. It's like in my planning phase, just numbing it all so that I can get the things that I have to get done, check the boxes I have to check. I don't often take the time to feel in that planning process and I noticed that this weekend, and it wasn't until the day after the event that I actually took the time to feel it all, to let it all out, to shed what I needed to shed, so that I could come out here I am a few days later and just be so proud of what I've accomplished. And if you would have asked me that Sunday night, or even Monday, right after the event, I wouldn't have felt that way. Had I had sat down and did this podcast episode the day after the event, it wouldn't come out the same way, because I need time to process things and I also need time to shed some of those layers of the older version of myself that needed a little extra love, that needed that extra self-care. And I'm still coming out of it.
Speaker 1:I'm still thinking and learning and feeling things and understanding things and stepping into the season that we'll start focusing on this new addition to our family versus maybe all of these other pieces, because everything else it's like, okay, I checked the box, I moved on, but you gotta feel things too like you truly and honestly need to feel some of these feelings, and I know for some people who came to the event, they have been blocking their feelings for a long time. They have been blocking these tears for a long season, maybe for like years and years and years. And I'm right there with you for a lot of things it can be hard to feel and it's easier to just not. Maybe we come from families that just it's easier to just not right and we have to feel it, we have to go through it, we have to push through it and even if it cracked you open just like the tiniest little bit, I think that's a massive win. Even if you feel like 1% more confident, that is a massive win. Even if you made one friend and one connection in that room, that is a massive win. And these wins can build up over time and sometimes we just got to sit in that and remember like I just did that thing.
Speaker 1:I went to this event and I talked to a stranger that was freaking scary. I'm really proud of myself and sit in that feeling, because that's what's actually going to help you to push forward, to having more confidence is acknowledging that you're leveling up, acknowledging that you're taking a new step and you're taking something that you didn't think was possible. Acknowledging that you're taking a new step and you're taking something that you didn't think was possible and yeah, that was. It was a really interesting experience on Monday to just spend the whole day crying, and not in a bad way, not for all of the things that went wrong, but I truly do believe I needed to process a lot. Allow myself that time and that grace and maybe for once, instead of beating myself up for you know, this not going well or that not going well, just sitting in that energy of we did it. You know Jess of three years ago, who started a podcast. You did it. You've always dreamed of this and I think that's the coolest, coolest, coolest, coolest thing.
Speaker 1:This is a long winded episode, but I still have a couple more things I just want to share with you, and really it's just specifically on those life lessons that I learned through this event, through planning and executing this event, and maybe you go through some big things. We don't always take the time to process what we learned from them and I know I'm still going to keep having things pop into my head the downloads and the ideas. I said I was going to talk about it. We don't have time now, but the downloads and the ideas that have been coming lately for this next season has been really cool, I think, because I was sick for so long with my pregnancy I didn't get a chance to feel and understand what could come. Oh, it's coming, okay it's coming. And for someone who thought that your life would end when you had a baby, like just being truly honest with you is not ending, like it's just getting better and better and I'm emotionally even thinking about that. But there's some really cool things coming and I just can't wait to share it with you. But I want to share with you these three lessons really quick, before we wrap up here, because normally these episodes are not that long, but I've had a lot. I've had a lot of share. Okay, we're putting two weeks worth of episodes in one.
Speaker 1:The first one that I really want to share with you is to listen before you take action. If you are an action person and you're just like I got to go and I got to go now and I can't stop and busy, busy, busy, right, I want you to listen for a moment. The first thing for me was even just listening and acknowledging that this was the event. Speak up was the name. I heard the name like early on. This was the name. I knew it and I tried to shift it around for a bit. I'm like selfish confidence, live. No, it was going to be speak up and it has to be speak up. And just listening to myself, listening to my body, listening to what other people needed from this event too.
Speaker 1:Before taking that action, in booking a space, in setting a date, in booking caterers and all of those pieces advice, in setting a date, in booking caterers and all of those pieces listen, ask yourself those questions like do I really want this? It's going to take a lot of energy to put these, insert the goal that you have on your heart, and it's going to take energy. Am I willing to do? Am I willing to do that? I have the hiccups because I'm sipping pre-workout over here at the same time. I don't drink a lot of caffeine, but I needed something. I needed something today.
Speaker 1:But just start listening more when you hear that whisper or however spirit and body talks to you. When you get an idea, sit with it and listen to it and see where it can go before taking any kind of action. I am an action person. Okay, I am going to look at the venues. I am going to ask my friends about things. I am going to start taking action as soon as I hear it. Hence why I've already been starting to take action on planning 2025 and we are over a year away. Okay, listen, do you really want it? Are you willing to give up some things to make it happen? Just sit with it longer, sit in silence, do your nothing pockets. Spend some time with yourself. Listen before you act. That's the like, the number one lesson that I can give you for this whole thing and even as new ideas come in throughout the process of getting towards that goal that you have, pause and listen in the new season. Like okay, so say we're three months in. You're like, okay, I'm going to take a minute to listen today. What do you want me to know? How can I take this in a different direction or really focus on what I need and just listen without that action piece?
Speaker 1:The second thing is to always trust your gut. I have had some gut feelings about this event over the last year Venue and location gut feelings, and speaker gut feelings and things like. There are some gut feelings, some that I listened to and some that I didn't, and now, looking back, all I can tell you is just to trust your gut. Trust what it's telling you. If it's telling you to do this big thing, that's super scary and super uncomfortable and you're just like I don't think I should do that, listen and then trust. Trust your gut with getting pregnant and all of the pieces with that, especially even like 30 days before the event and and not feeling totally ready or that the event was where I thought and wanted it to be, and like trust. If it's telling you to keep going, trust there's a reason for it. And if you are someone who you're just like, I don't really understand what you mean.
Speaker 1:Jess, I don't know how to trust my gut. I don't understand how to trust myself. I've never been able to do that. Find avenues for you to start to trust a little bit more. So maybe use Oracle cards, maybe you have someone. So I have a couple spiritual healers who I connect with a lot.
Speaker 1:If I am like unsure on some of the things that I am like I just don't understand, is it this or is it this? I did this today. Actually, I had a question about something and I went to someone who I connect with really, really well and trust really well and they were like helping me to kind of navigate it and to see, from a spiritual perspective, like what would be the right thing, and it just helps you If you don't understand how to trust yourself. Find the tools and find the people around you who can help you to trust that, okay. And if you're like I don't know what you mean, jess, send me a message. I'll connect with you on it and really help to share this with you a bit more. It can be through prayer, it can be through connecting with others, spending time in nature.
Speaker 1:But just figure out how you can learn to start to trust yourself and trust that gut feeling, because it is telling you things and it's going to tell you. You know that feeling when you're like driving home late at night and you're just like turn here, and you're like, wait, why I'm not going to turn here, like this is so silly, I've never gone this way. But you turn that way and you totally miss an accident or like there's. Or maybe you leave the house a little bit later and then you driving and there was like some kind of accident or traffic jam or something like trusting that feeling in these big things too can be really, really helpful. So learn how to start to trust your gut a bit more, because there are pieces of this event that I wish I listened to that gut feeling and there are pieces of this event that I'm really thankful I listened to my gut feeling because it made it so much better. So remember that.
Speaker 1:And then the last thing that I have on my list here of lessons that I have learned through this process is just build your community, surround yourself with the right people, the best people, the people who you can trust, the people who you can call on. I don't know if I totally understood how powerful my community was and how powerful my people are until I saw them all in one room and somebody messaged me and they're like Jess, you are so lucky to have this support system around you, to have these people around you, and I 100% agree Like I am blessed with incredible people around me. But these people I found from going to events, from being a part of, you know, networking communities and you know being in the podcasting space especially finding your people through the podcasting space has been huge. But, most importantly, going to events and meeting people I found my people through that process. Most people in that room probably had a story about meeting me at an event and a few in particular who I can really connect with. It's like I found them from a like-minded community and and that process isn't necessarily hard to do you can do it Uh, one of them being like a podcasting community, online in-person events, networking and things. You can find your community and you can build it to something pretty freaking epic one with time and two with effort.
Speaker 1:Um it, it might not necessarily be an in person aspect to begin with, and if you're like I don't know where to start, I don't know where to find these people, I'm telling you the selfish sisterhood is a really, really, really great place to start. Even just this past week, with everything going on in Florida with the hurricanes, having someone in our community who has family in that area, you know connected in there and I was like, hey, can you guys please pray for my family? I am really anxious and things are really scary right now. The way that this community showed up for her and prayed for her and loved on her was just beautiful to watch, and this is a community of women who want to see the best for you and it's not something you have to show up to all the time, you're going to be accepted, even if you only show up to one call a month. Right, and I just it's not like a plug for the community, but I think if you don't know where to find your people, I have a space for you.
Speaker 1:And we also have Confidently you coming up. We're launching on October 21st for our next round of Confidently you in 12 weeks, and this is the program that helps you to step into your next level of building your own year of confidence. I give you all of the tools for you to understand and accept yourself and to learn what works best for you in order to build a rest of the year plan for your confidence. And if you remember my journey, I spent a lot of time investing in tools and figuring things out and trying to find what worked best, and it's going to be different for everyone. That's the biggest piece is, this journey is going to be different for everyone and that's why I built something that's customizable for you. I'm going to share the tools with you, you're going to try them out and then we're going to find the ones that are best for you in order to create a confidence plan that is like top notch that you can take action on, and I built it so that we can start it in 2025. So we'll be ending in early January so you can go into 2025 with a whole confidence plan for you, and I'm just so excited to see this come to life, so I'm going to put the information in the show notes for both the Selfish Sisterhood and Confidently you in 12 weeks.
Speaker 1:Also, fyi, if you do join Confidently you, you get access to the Selfish Sisterhood. It's included, so you get kind of best of both worlds. You'll get three months access to the selfish sisterhood and be able to experience that. But building your community will change everything for you. You're going to have a place where you can finally connect and say what's really on your mind and what you're thinking, and also be able to be truly and 100% yourself. I hope that you were able to come to speak up and be yourself. Maybe you don't get to do that at home, maybe you don't get to experience that at work, but here at Speak Up you were able to, and here at Selfish Confidence, you know that's what we're all about and I just, I'm just mind blown now, especially sitting on this mic and having this conversation with you for the last like 40 plus minutes. I just am so incredibly grateful for you for listening, whether you were at Speak Up or not.
Speaker 1:This all started from me sitting on the floor in my bedroom and creating a podcast and getting really vulnerable on the microphone about my experience in Barbados and what I had been lying to myself and lying to the world about for a really long time. And had I not done that, I wouldn't be sitting here three years later creating a recap video and podcast episode about my experience creating a large event or my experience living out a dream that I didn't know was totally possible and that came from believing in myself, listening before taking action, trusting my gut and starting the podcast and building a community around it with amazing guests and amazing people who listen, and it really is incredible that I guess these three life lessons that I learned with Speak Up are actually life lessons that I learned through starting this podcast. We're getting ready to celebrate three years and I am beyond grateful, beyond grateful that this is the story that we're telling today. So thank you for enduring this long and emotional podcast episode, but it's been just such a wild journey. So if you have more questions about Speak Up, that you're like, hey, can you talk about this or clarification on this? I am happy. Again, this is a collaborative community. I want you to have all the information and also, if you want to join Confidently you, we have a free workshop happening on Tuesday night If you're listening to this in real life tomorrow night, and I'm really excited to bring this new idea of a workshop that I had to life, but also to kick off Confidently you, to add you into the selfish sisterhood and to really step into this new season of you believing in yourself because you're worth it, like you are 110% worth it, and if you don't believe it, call me up, cause I will tell you, until you do, that you're worth it and I love you so much.
Speaker 1:I hope you have an awesome week that you're worth it and I love you so much. I hope you have an awesome week. Talk to you soon. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world and don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
