Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Embracing change and finding purpose in uncertainty
Have you ever felt the nagging sensation that your inner voice is trying to tell you something important, but you’re not sure how to listen? This week, I share my journey of embracing life's unpredictable seasons and the lessons I've learned about trusting my intuition. As I plan my women's empowerment event, Speak Up, and prepare for motherhood, I recount personal stories of traveling, drawing the oracle card "Trust the Niggle," and the struggle of seeking validation while following my heart. Join me as I navigate these changes and share how you, too, can cultivate self-confidence and belief in your own path.
We touch on the significance of trusting your unique life path. I reflect on the unseen efforts behind public achievements and the importance of genuine friendships and courageous actions. From high school memories to pivotal career decisions, I share how every challenge and obstacle has guided me towards my true purpose. Whether you're uncertain of your final goals or seeking clarity, remember that every small step and new experience counts. Embrace uncertain times with me, seize growth opportunities, and let's celebrate the unique magic within each of us.
Grab your Speak Up! Tickets ---> https://jessclerke.com/speak-up
Speak Up! happening October 5th + 6th in Halifax, Nova Scotia!
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
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The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and if you are listening to this and you're like you sound a little different, jess, or maybe you're watching this online. You're like you look a little different it or maybe you're watching this online. You're like you look a little different it is because I am in cincinnati visiting my friend diana for her retreat. She had asked me a long time ago if I wanted to be a part of her retreat and I wanted to come up and talk about human design and I'm not the best planner. I don't always plan things out super far in advance. So when she asked, I was like hells, yeah, let's go. That sounds so fun, even knowing at that point it was going to be a couple weeks before Speak Up. But now here we are. I can't believe it's actually here, because now that we're here, it also means that Speak Up is essentially here, and if you don't know what I'm talking about and it's your first time listening to this podcast, welcome, so glad you're here. But speak up is my personal development event, my women's empowerment event that I have coming up on October 5th and 6th in Halifax, nova Scotia, for 100 women to come in and just be like, hey, I'm here, loud and proud, love me baby, and I'm just so excited for that to come.
Speaker 1:But but also, it's really nice to be traveling, and probably traveling by plane for the last time before having a baby, which also blows my mind. I am someone who travels a lot for events like this, for conferences, to speak at things to I don't know, just explore and live life and enjoy things. And it just feels a little weird that this might be my last time on a plane for a while. Like I don't know, I don't know. It just feels really like a really strange feeling, like your life is about to change but you're so far away from that big change that you've been flowing with it, and that's kind of what I've been doing and what I wanted to talk to you about today a couple things I have on my list that I was just thinking about the lessons that can come from traveling and the lessons that can come from doing what's on your heart and what's on your mind, and I'm feeling that a lot as we step into this season of planning this big event not even planning it, executing it at this point, traveling for the last time before my life totally changes and staying calm in some of these seasons where you do not know what the outcome is like. I do not know what the end point is going to look like, both for Speak Up and for my own personal life Having a baby. I do not know what life with a baby looks like, and so I'm really trying to lean into this season of flow and being a little bit more relaxed and releasing the grip that I have on things that they need to be perfect and releasing the grip that I have on things that they need to be perfect.
Speaker 1:This morning I was just chatting with a girlfriend who we have the same oracle card deck and in this deck there was a card that like I don't want to say it taunts me, but like I pull it several times a week. And when I get a card that I pull frequently, I'm like okay, is it? Like, what are you trying to teach me? What is the answer? And I don't know. I still don't know. So the card is called Trust the Niggle and it's about trusting the choices that you're making, trusting that voice inside your head that's telling you to do something, like to go after it.
Speaker 1:And in this season that I'm in, I'm like I'm doing the things right. I'm planning this massive event, I'm traveling to speak, I am, you know, having a baby, I got pregnant. Like I'm doing the things right and I keep getting this card to trust the niggle. And my girlfriend was like Jess, maybe it's just like you're doing the things, good job. Like keep going, you're doing it, you're listening.
Speaker 1:But I don't know why I always think there's something more, there's something deeper, and I question a lot if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm going on the right path and I think a lot of us do that in so many different scenarios right, whether that's business or your job or life, or just your regular day-to-day things job or life or just your regular day-to-day things, like I see all the signs and I'm a person who really keeps my eye open to see things almost to a fault right, always looking for an external validation that I'm on the right path. And if only we could trust that niggle like n-i-g-g-l-e. I don't know why that's, what's the card, but trust the niggle. Um, it's just that, like nagging, feeling right, and if I could only just trust it and know that we're on the right path and just intuitively be guided in that direction, I think it would make a really big difference. And I'm not gonna sit here and be like I have it all figured out. These are my five steps to trust the niggle. That is not it at all, because I do like I do trust and I do see and I keep my eyes open. But there is still always this yearning for validation, right, and we often see it in other people. It's another thing that I really wanted to talk to you about today is not only like trusting your own intuition and trusting your path and navigating how to do that, because we just over complicate and doubt and put all these things that we could never know. We could never know the answers. Right, everybody else knows the answers. We don't. And where? This week? I'm talking all about human design at this retreat I it comes back sometimes to this open crown center and I'm not going to get too far into it, but, like the top of your head, if it's open, we often get our ideas and our thoughts sometimes from other people, the people who have it defined, from the people who are around us, and we can always think that other people know better.
Speaker 1:They know the answers because mine is open and I'm getting my ideas from them, so they must know the answer. And the truth is, you know, just like my girlfriend told me this morning. She's like trust, trust, you're doing it. This is your sign that you're doing it, like keep going, and even needing that validation from her. It's just often that with these open crown centers, we're just always thinking everybody else can do it and know it better.
Speaker 1:But you know, you know what you need to do, you know what you need to step into, you know what you need to trust right now and I want you to step into that in whatever capacity you can. I often do this in really, really small ways is is just like trusting in little things, like if my gut's telling me that I want to eat a whole chocolate cake right now, then that's what I'm gonna do. Or if I am, you know, feeling the need for a pull for like a certain restaurant, like just going in that direction. Or when you're going on a walk, you could go on like an intuitive walk and you have no idea where you're gonna end up. You just kind of keep trusting over and over again where you're gonna turn, where you're gonna end up, what you're gonna see. And those are kind of keep trusting over and over again where you're going to turn, where you're going to end up, what you're going to see. And those are kind of really small ways for you to be able to trust your intuition a little bit more and almost practice like growing it more and more and more. And in this season I feel like we need to do that more and more. And I feel like we need to do that more and more Because sometimes, when it comes to the big things, like planning an event for hundreds of women and traveling while pregnant and you know all of these things sometimes we need to trust in the little things more, like I want some gummy bears I literally ate a handful of gummy bears before I recorded this podcast because your girl needs some sugar Duh, because your girl needs some sugar duh, um.
Speaker 1:But like, really leaning into these small things can make a big difference when the big things come up and you can trust more. And maybe you're seeing a sign over and over and over again and I think it is just that truth to trust and believe that you know what's best, you know where you need to go. You don't need this external validation, you don't need to bring it to the table for everybody to vote on. You know, and you can really step into that today. But just trying to shift your mindset on it a little bit, just a little tiny bit. And one thing I also do with this this is a little I.
Speaker 1:I feel like this is chaotic, but that's just the season that we're in. When I hear it or when I feel it, I just affirm it, like I'll answer to myself. I talk to myself all the time, we know that, but I'll just affirm it and be like I see you, I hear you, you know you're doing the right thing, you know what you're doing. Keep going, instead of that automatic instinct that we have to say I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know the step I need to take, I don't know anything. I have to ask this person, this person, this person. Just lean it back into yourself a little bit, like what is one step that I can take that I know is safe for me to take right now and follow that.
Speaker 1:Because you know, and if I didn't trust that voice or that niggle over and over again, I wouldn't be planning an event for women right now and I wouldn't be sitting in my friend Diana's guest room right now getting ready for her retreat, and I wouldn't be pregnant, that is for sure. And those are some really big things that can be really scary to trust and know that you're on the right path. But sometimes you just gotta go big. So maybe today you're in a season where you can take things small and slow, or maybe you're feeling like it's time for you to take a big, freaking leap. Then take a big freaking leap. Maybe it's to buy your ticket to come to speak up. Maybe you've been listening to this podcast for so long and you're like, okay, jess, you're two weeks out, there's only about a few days left that I can get my ticket and I have this nagging feeling in my stomach that I need to be there. Then I want you to get the ticket, I want you to be there, I want you to send me a message and be like, okay, I'm trusting Jess, I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 1:Because I have had that nagging feeling with a lot of events and those events changed my life. I wouldn't be sitting here and doing a retreat for someone this weekend had I not trusted that nagging feeling to get to an event. And at that point there was two events that I was looking at and I had to lean into the one that felt more aligned. And when I did that, it brought me here and it brought me to this person who is now hosting a retreat, who has invited me to come down and to speak at it. And it all comes from trusting that intuition, trusting that hit to get into some of these rooms, because the connections that happen in these rooms are going to blow your mind.
Speaker 1:These are not only the people who are going to help you to start to believe in yourself and to trust that more, but they're also the people who are going to get you that one step further. They're the people who are going to push you to start a podcast. They're going to be the people who push you to keep going. They're going to be the people who are just there when you need a reminder that, even though it's hard, it's going to be worth it and they're gonna push you. They're gonna push you beyond your comfort zone in the best way possible, and that's what's got me here three years later, still podcasting, still being a part of this community, still on this journey of navigating business and life and figuring things out.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that have stopped me along the way to even question things is the comparison game, and I wrote down that I really wanted to talk about that today, because I was doing that also this week. Lessons from Jess all the things that Jess does that you shouldn't do, as I say not as I do. No, honestly, I want to be really transparent with you, because I don't want you to put me on a pedestal as someone who's hosting these events and traveling and speaking and think that I don't have these thoughts too, that I don't have these feelings and fears around all of these things in my life too, because I do and I think it's normal for so many of us. And if you have people that you're following online who you think don't have these thoughts or you think have it all together or are making so much money in their business that you could never do what they're doing, there's a good chance that it's a lie. Social media is a lie.
Speaker 1:It's all about perception, right, and I was meeting with a girlfriend this week and we were just going out for a walk and talking things and I found myself getting in my head about comparing myself on where my journey is, where I am in this season, to where she is and what she's doing. And she's doing some beautiful and massive things. I'm so excited for her and as we were talking, I was just like, wow, like she's doing it, she's stepping into this and she's following her heart and she's trusting the niggle and she's doing all of the stuff that you know I'm doing too, but she's making more money at it and you know all these things, right, you get so caught up and a big one for me can be like the financial piece, the money piece that comes with with business and with life, and the comparison right, she's successful because she made xyz at her business, and that's one that I could really get stuck in in the comparison game, and as I was walking with her, we were talking a bit more. There was a total flip in the conversation and she shared something with me when it came to her finances and her business. That was just a reminder in these moments when we're comparing other people's success to something in particular, something that we see as high value, right, that it's not always what we think. They have struggles and they have difficulties too, and I'm not going to say I'm going to be like, oh yeah, she's got struggles and that made me feel better. No, that's not what I'm saying. That made me feel better. No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that it reminded me that when we put these people on pedestals, when we look at people who are doing certain things in their life, and we're just like, oh my gosh, I could never do that. They have things too, they have doubts, they have fears, they have, you know, struggles in their life and in their business too that they're not showing you and they're not sharing with you, and I just wish we could talk about these things more.
Speaker 1:I'm really, really grateful for the friendships that I have, that people feel safe to be able to share their real life with me, and I think I built a business and a friendship with a lot of people who feel safe to do that with me, like non-judgmental, and it helps me to see all sides of people. But we don't always get to see that on social media. So if you're doing that right now and you're in a comparison game, maybe it's a weight loss journey and somebody else has, you know, had more success than you have. You don't see what's going on behind the posts, right? You don't see what's going on behind closed doors. All you can see is the wins. All you can see is the big things and the same thing with Speak Up right. All you see is the stage and the amazing decorations and the beautiful speakers and this massive, beautiful boat that we're going to be taking for a VIP night. All you see is that you don't see the emails and the no's and the know, all of the different things that come from behind that, and I know this event is going to be mind-blowingly magical, like if I didn't believe that I wouldn't be putting it on.
Speaker 1:But there are so many things behind the scenes that can make this really hard to complete, even when we're two weeks out. It can make it really really hard to complete. My watch is going off. It's like check your heart rate, girl, because it can be a lot. And so if you're comparing even where you are, to wanting to do big events or traveling, to speak or any of these things that you see me doing, I I want you to know that it takes choices, it takes really scary action and it takes trusting that intuition more and more and more. You can do it. You can do this If your dream is anything. Whatever your dream is, I truly do believe God wouldn't have placed that on your heart had it not been the dream that's meant for you.
Speaker 1:I remember so clearly this day, when I was in high school, we were in the auditorium, so we had like a theater in our school and I remember it was like some kind of assembly I don't even remember what and I remember sitting in the assembly looking at the stage, what, and I remember sitting in the assembly looking at the stage and I had this knowing that that's where I was meant to be, not necessarily in high school, because your girl did not want to be on the stage in high school, that is for sure. Um, I much preferred being the weirdo in the corner in high school, but I knew that speaking public speaking of some kind was my future and I ignored that niggle and I went into dietetics because I liked food. But somehow it still got me here, and Glenn asked me that the other day too. He's like do you think if you would have taken something different in university or you would have made better grades in school, do you think you would have done xyz? Do you think you would have gone to become a doctor? No, nobody wants me to be their doctor, but also I'm so trusting that being a public speaker is what I'm supposed to do and where I'm supposed to be that had I even gone to school to be a doctor that I would have failed out of like 18 times. But you know, teach your own, it's not for me. But had I made better grades in school and taken a different path and maybe been influenced by friends and family to go after being a doctor or a nurse or anything like that, I think I still would have ended up here doing human design ratings and speaking and having a podcast of some kind. The topic might have been different and how I'm doing it might be different, but I do truly believe with my soul, I would have still ended up on a stage speaking about something. My soul, I would have still ended up on a stage speaking about something and I think, where I am right now, speaking about confidence and love and empowerment, I think I would have still ended up here and I think this is your reminder that if that's the case for you and you're questioning the path you're on, you are going to get to your destination.
Speaker 1:No matter what path you take, no matter what road you go, no matter what U-turn you have to make, you're going to get there. The destination is already in the GPS. That final place is already in, you know God's GPS. It's just a matter of the road that you take there. For some of us, we're going to take the really long, the really hard, the really dark road, and for others it's. Maybe it's a lighter path and it's easier for you. Maybe you knew right from the beginning. But your journey is yours and it doesn't matter how you get there. It just matters that you trust and that you take the steps you need to take to get to your final destination.
Speaker 1:And if you're like I don't even know what my final destination is, I just did a workshop the other day at RH Fitness and they'll be at the Speak Up event too and one of the people who were in the workshop was like I don't know what the end goal is. I don't know what the job is that I want or the life is that I want. I have no idea and it is blank. And if you feel like that and you have no idea where that final destination is, it's okay. All you have to do is take one step forward, try something new, go to a new gym, eat a donut or, you know, make a new friend, say hi to someone on the street. These small steps are going to help you to have that clarity at some point. It's probably not going to be tomorrow and it's probably not going to be next month. It's going to take time, but the small actions are going to get you there Getting out to workshops, getting out to events, meeting new people, looking at jobs online.
Speaker 1:See what's sparking some joy in you trusting those feelings when something comes up. It can be really hard when it feels like there's no feeling there and you're totally numb. But just take little tiny steps. And don't get me wrong, I'm an optimist. I'm always the person who's going to believe that there is going to be a better way and a better outcome and light at the end of the tunnel. And if you're not feeling like that right now, I'm sending you a big ol hug and a big ol kiss, because it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's hard when you can't see that final destination and I'm kind of in that now too, because the final destination is really blurry, just because I can't visualize what life is going to look like six months from now. And it can be hard. But what we can do is trust that niggle I cannot with it, I don't know. Trust that intuition, trust that feeling and move in that direction that is starting to feel aligned, starting to feel like the place you're supposed to go, even if it's a place you never, ever, thought you'd go, like me in this journey of motherhood, right. So just take a deep breath, take a step, big, one, small one you choose.
Speaker 1:Get your ticket to speak up. You have a few days left to get your ticket and get in this room, because I know. Few days left to get your ticket and get in this room because I know it's going to give you enlightenment and clarity in a way that you maybe have not seen in a long time. So I love you so much. I will put all the information for you to be able to get your speak up ticket in the show notes.
Speaker 1:But if you're feeling something, take a step, take a leap, or even just send me a DM, send me a message, and be like. You know what I'm trusting, girl, I'm trusting. So I hope that you have a wonderful, wonderful day, and I'm thinking of you. I'm sending all my love your way. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
