Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Spark Your Dreams: Embracing Change, Confidence, and New Experiences
Ever felt that flicker of a dream but didn't know how to nurture it? Join me on today's episode of Selfish Confidence as I share my personal journey of being 20 weeks pregnant and the importance of cherishing major decisions privately before sharing them with the world. Whether you're contemplating a career change, moving to a new city, or starting an unconventional project, this episode is all about honoring that initial spark and exploring it thoughtfully with those you trust. I discuss how I balanced planning the upcoming Speak Up event with my pregnancy, offering insights into the power of manifestation and meticulous preparation.
Get ready to be inspired as we talk about the upcoming Speak Up event, just four weeks away! This gathering is designed to boost your confidence and authenticity in a relaxed and inclusive setting. Imagine mingling with speakers and fellow attendees on a VIP sunset cruise before diving into two days of enriching sessions. From intimate connection opportunities to ensuring everyone feels comfortable and energized, you'll get a sneak peek into what makes this event a must-attend experience.
Grab your Speak Up! Tickets ---> https://jessclerke.com/speak-up
Speak Up! happening October 5th + 6th in Halifax, Nova Scotia!
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
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My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and whoa, after last week's episode, kind of giving you all the details of the behind the scenes of of this big life change that we're going through. If you haven't listened to the episode, I am almost 20 weeks pregnant, which is wild to me and wild that we're halfway, wild that I'm only just sharing the news now and yeah, it's just been such a journey and to finally have it out there feels really relieving for me to just be like okay, the world knows what's up, the world knows what's going on. You are in the loop now of this piece of my life that I have been hiding for a while, it just feels so much better. I am all about sharing all sides of me, all sides of my journey, all sides of you know the seasons that I'm going through and this just felt like such a big thing to keep from you. But also I had to protect myself and, as I mentioned in last week's episode, it hasn't been the smoothest journey and I really needed that time and space without the questions, because as soon as it was released, there are so many questions, so much love, so much. You know people, of course, just wondering why we changed our mind or why you know, and I don't. I'm not offended by the questions, like send them my way. I am an open book, I'm totally transparent in this, especially now that it's out. But I also needed the space to understand and navigate it before all the questions came in. And maybe you felt like that in a season in your life too. You're just like like I wish that I was doing this privately, or I wish there wasn't so many questions, or I wish I could just figure out what was going on in my head before all the noise and the opinions of other people came in, and that's, for me, how I really like to do things. I like to be solid in my choice, solid in the things that I want, before I share it with anyone.
Speaker 1:Glenn and I are very private with some of that stuff. I remember we bought our first house. We didn't even tell anyone until you know. Essentially we were closed and we were ready to have the house. We kept it very quiet because for us, this journey is really private and sometimes we need that. Sometimes we need that space to understand what it is that we want.
Speaker 1:So I ask you today is there something that you have on your heart? Is there something that you have in your mind and even if it's just like a tiny little flicker, could you explore it? Could you explore what that could look like? Could you ask yourself some questions? Could you find some safe people to talk to about what it is that you have on your heart? Could you send me a DM and really share that message? Because sometimes we just need to follow it, sometimes we just need to play it out, and it doesn't have to be getting pregnant, but it could be just as simple as talking with a few people about what this could look like for you or how your life could look different. It could be things like changing career paths or moving to a whole different country, right, a whole different house, a whole different city. It could be planning a networking event or starting a podcast or anything. It could be anything. But I will tell you this whatever that little inkling is, that little tickle in your belly, wherever you get a tickle, play with it a little bit. Think about it just a little bit.
Speaker 1:Dream. I'm a big dreamer. I love to dream out all of the ideas and all the scenarios, and I have a big dream on my heart. It is on pause for a little bit until we figure out what life looks like with a little one, but there is a big dream there too, and that's been something that I've just been enjoyed playing out the idea of what life could look like or how our family could look or what you know so many different scenarios can look like. And so just dream and have fun with it. But that's not why I came with the mic today. Just dream and have fun with it. But that's not why I came with the mic today. It's just a little tangent, because I guess there's someone here who has something on their heart that is too afraid to play it out. And again, this does not mean dive all in, do like you know, leave your job, spend all your money, all of the things right. This is just me telling you to play it out, have some fun with it and and see what life could look like.
Speaker 1:Even in your mind, your manifest manifestations can definitely come true, cause I'll tell you this, and the girls at the retreat know this, um, this, this baby, came in my planned, perfect timing, and I am not a person who likes to plan a lot of things. But with Speak Up coming up, I was like there is a few scenarios that we could make this work, and it was with me only being in my second trimester to have this event, because I didn't want to have a birth on stage. That just is not my style. And I also didn't want to be in my first trimester where I just didn't know how I was going to feel or what energy would be like or if I needed a bucket. I needed it to be at a place that it was public and people knew about it, and also that I felt, hopefully, good enough. I will tell you, we are almost 20 weeks and I'm still not feeling 100%. I think that's just the cards. We're dealt with and we're going to figure it out as we go.
Speaker 1:In today's episode, I really wanted to talk to you about the fact that we're four weeks away from Speak Up. Maybe you're listening to this. You're like Jess, I am tired of hearing this. Or you're listening to this and you're like Jess, I'm so freaking excited I'm going to see you there. I know it could be either scenario and with that, I wanted to give you just a little bit more information about the event, what's going on and how long you have to get on board to get your ticket, because, with the event being four weeks away, I need to have a clear idea on numbers for a lot of different reasons, one big one being that food and lunch is supplied, so I need to know my numbers before the doors. Or, like you're walking in the doors because I need to make sure I have food for you, but also just to lay out the room and to plan everything so that the details are set in stone and we feel so good walking into this event.
Speaker 1:This is an event all about your confidence, stepping into who you are, understanding who you are, coming into a room where you get to 100% be yourself, like you could come wearing a ball gown, you could come wear your sweatpants you get to be you. And if you live in a world and we've talked about this so many times in this podcast and I feel so emotional as I bring it up If you live in a world where you don't get to be yourself on a daily basis, where you have to hide who you are or even a piece of you you hide, the world doesn't get to see it because it's not safe for you to share it or you don't feel confident to share that piece of your life yet Kind of like how I felt with pregnancy for a while. This is the space where you're going to get to share that. This is the room where you're going to be able to shine as bright as you want or as light as you want. If you want to hide in the back of the room and just soak it all in, you can do that too.
Speaker 1:You get to be in charge of this journey at Speak Up and you get to bring to it whatever you want to bring, and I think that's the really beautiful thing about these spaces, and I know a lot of people promise things like this or say things like this and you go to the room and maybe you don't necessarily feel like you can. You can be you 100% and I would like to remind you if you've come to anything I've created, or you know my energy or you're in the sisterhood and maybe you're not and you're just like I don't know. Can I trust you, jess? I promise you this space is going to feel like love and glitter and all of the good things that come to a personal development event. All of the speakers I have handpicked for a reason with incredible stories filled with love and light and personal accomplishments that they've had and also personal difficulties that they've had. And I've picked them for a reason because I want this event to feel like you're coming in and hanging out with your BFFs, that you're coming into this room and, even if you don't know anyone, you are walking away with a handful of people that you know and love and I'm just so excited to bring it to life. So, if you have your ticket and you're coming, what you can expect with the VIP experience is that we do have our VIP sunset cruise happening on October 5th, that's Saturday, the night before the event. And I did this strategically because I want you to be able to come in and meet people before even walking in the room.
Speaker 1:I go to a lot of events, I travel for a lot of events, and having this extra evening to meet some people in a smaller setting because I know you don't always believe me but I am an introvert so sometimes having less people and more one-on-one time is just a really beautiful gift to have. And I wanted to do this the night before so that you could meet some people that you could hang out with and you can sit, so you can meet your new BFF and be like hey, do you want to sit together? Or, oh, so nice meeting you last night, like where are you sitting? Like you can connect with people before the event even starts. And I also did it on separate evenings for, or separate days, I should say for my own sanity, because, again, I am an introvert and my energy isn't always the best. Now add on being pregnant to it that I wanted my energy to be top notch. The best to now add on being pregnant to it that I wanted my energy to be top notch.
Speaker 1:So I made it two days so that we could spread it out for there to be extra rest for my people who need a little extra time. I know a good handful of people who are coming to this event who are very grateful for the space, and then other people who are like let's keep the party going and if that's you, you can keep the party going. Okay, I know there's going to be people here who are going to want to keep partying and you can do that. But for me and for a lot of other people who just need a little extra space, I wanted it over two days so that we could really enjoy our time together and come to it fully energized, with, like our full energy for this event. And so our sunset cruise is going to be just like a really beautiful evening from five to seven on a boat in the harbor. We're going to cruise around, be able to connect with people, chat with people and get all these beautiful pictures of the sunset. We'll also have a few sponsor booths set up at the event so you can kind of check out some of those and get a little tidbit of information for the event before it even happens. But primarily, this is for you to be able to connect with the speakers, to connect with other attendees, to make friendships. And if you're afraid of networking, like I am, this is going to be an event truly just for you to make friends, and I will have some really fun ways for you to do that so that you're not feeling too overwhelmed on the day of and you're just like oh, I don't know anything about me and I don't know how to ask questions. You will, I promise you're gonna be okay, and this VIP night is just gonna be the perfect night for that. Whether you're traveling in or you're local, adding on the VIP is going to be a big difference for you. Okay, I promise you.
Speaker 1:And then we have our full day event on Sunday, october 6th. Doors open at 9 am, we start around 9.30 and we will have our full lineup of speakers. So we have six speakers who will be speaking. We also have our Shining Sisters panel, which is five incredible women with like mind-blowing stories to share with you on their confidence journey, and it really is just going to be a wonderful day filled with unique stories and also opportunity for you to connect with the people, because I think it's one thing to come to these events and be like oh, like the speakers know it, all the people who are on the stage, they got the info. But there are so many people who are in this room who I know personally, who are just like whoa, like the power that they can bring, the energy that they can bring in, the information and the life changing aspects that they can bring to you just by hanging out their table or meeting new people or connecting with the person that you're sitting beside. It's going to blow your mind.
Speaker 1:Every time someone buys a ticket, I'm like that person's coming, oh my gosh, and that person's coming. And even just this morning, a girlfriend of mine who is quite introverted, she's like it's going to be too many people at Jess and I said, well, just come to the VIP night. Just, there'll be less people, don't worry, just come. And then the next day I get a message. She said you know what? I'm just going to come to the whole thing. I'm going to there, okay, and she got her ticket and she's ready to go. And it's about stepping beyond that fear and stepping into this room because I promise you, magic is going to happen in this room If you just trust and you trust that you're going to meet the right people. You trust that the right speakers are going to be there. The right messages are going to touch you. It is going to blow your mind.
Speaker 1:We'll be wrapping up the day around like 4.30, 5 o'clock, so it is a full day event. Lunch is provided, there'll be some coffee breaks, some bathroom breaks, lunch breaks, of course All of the things for you to be able to have that space throughout the day to connect with people in the bathroom line Because that's where I meet some of my BFFs at events is, in the bathroom line but also just to have that space to take a little bit of break, take a little breather, because sometimes, where we push all this information into one day, it can be really intense. It can be a lot for one day and I'm just going to try my best to space it out so that you feel safe that you have the space that you need. We'll be having some of our sponsorship booths there too, so there'll be some really cool products for you to be able to check out. Our swag bags are freaking stacked. Okay, there is some amazing stuff going in these swag bags, and I just got off a call, like not too long before this, with a special secret swag bag sponsor that might be just like absolutely top notch for the event. So I am so excited to put this all together for you and to bring Speak Up to life, after I've been working on it for a whole year. But I'm doing this for you.
Speaker 1:I remember taking a video a year ago a little over a year ago when I was looking at my very first venue and I took this video and I was like I am scared out of my mother, love and mind. Okay, and I'm doing it anyway. And I'm doing it anyway because I want to do it for you. I want you to have a space where you can come and be yourself. I want my mom friends to be able to come into a room and know that they are more than just a mom, and my entrepreneur friends, who maybe are behind the face of business all the time I know this in my own life but to have a space where you get to be you too, where your name, let's say, it's Jeanette I don't know why that's the name that came to my head when you get to be Jeanette in this room, or you get to be Jessica in this room, or you get to be Sarah in this room. You get to be you and you come first, not the kids, not business, not your career, not, you know, being a partner. You get to be first and I think there's something really special and beautiful in that, and I wanted to create a space where you could feel that, where it didn't matter what your titles were, it didn't matter what you did for work or you know what you had to do in order to get to this room. All that mattered was that you were there and that we loved you for that and I'm just so excited to bring it to life, even though I am still scared. Most days I am still scared, but I'm also really excited. And bonus, a little bonus magic If you were in the Selfish Sisterhood, we have a special exclusive Sisterhood lunch happening Saturday before the VIP night.
Speaker 1:So it's going to be Saturday afternoon at 1 PM. So if you're listening to this and you're in the Sisterhood and you're coming to speak up, know that there's a really extra special, intimate lunch happening for members of the sisterhood only before the event even starts. And I want this weekend to be something that you can connect with people on, that you can connect with yourself on, and where you can have just a moment for you, a moment for you. You know I'm big into self-care and taking the time that you need. I'm also big into being in these rooms where you just feel like the most magical person in the whole freaking world. And you walk out of that room and you're like, wow, I actually am really freaking cool.
Speaker 1:And if you're like me, sometimes going to these events can be really scary and you don't know what to expect at all. And if that's you one, I'm happy to chat with you, give you the information, help you to feel as confident as you can walking into this room. But I also know that a lot of the times, what we think is going to happen and what we expect is going to happen is the actual opposite of what happens. I recently went to an event my very good friend, crystal. She had an event in February called Galentine's in California and I went to this event. I loved it, loved spending time with all the magical people who were there, and what was really magical was I walked away from that event recognizing that I did need something more, that it wasn't just all about business and that I could do both, and I think I talked about this on last week's episode too, but that was a big, pivotal moment just to see things differently, and I came home knowing that we were going to create a family and those things can happen in these rooms.
Speaker 1:You're not going to get pregnant in this room Okay, I can't guarantee that, but no, I can guarantee you're not going to get pregnant in this room. But what I can guarantee is that the ideas and the space and the epiphanies that can happen when you open up a few doors in your brain, like we do in rooms like this is going to blow your mind. So I'm just so excited and I hope that that gives you a bit more information on what to expect. There is only three weeks left for you to be able to get your ticket, okay, so I'm going to put the information in the show notes. I'm going to give you all the details there so that you can go and grab your ticket. I did activate a two payment plan plan back on there just because I want everyone to be able to come who wants to come, and sometimes there are those financial aspects to it. So there is an option to split your payment into two payments, one per month, but I hope to see you in the room. I hope to see you there and that you grab your ticket, because I can't freaking wait for speak up.
Speaker 1:And this event just shows you what can happen in your life when you say yes to something, even if it's scary, when you say yes to something that just you're not 100 sure is going to work out and I feel like that in so many different areas of my life right now. And if you're feeling that pull to say yes to something, or maybe you're not sure if it's a yes, there's a couple things that I do that really help me to solidify decision making again in seasons where you're just like not sure or the decision feels totally out of character, because again, starting a family for us was totally out of character. It's not on the books. We've been married for nine years. We just celebrated nine years last week and we weren't gonna do this. And maybe that's how you feel in something in your life.
Speaker 1:And if you're starting to feel something and you're like I'm so out of character for me to want to do this, let's say it's rock climbing and you want to go do a rock climbing competition, but it's not in your character at all. I'm not going rock climbing with you, but I love that for you if that's the one you're looking for. Or even like running a marathon or signing up for a dance class or going to an event, like speak up all by yourself, like it feels so out of character and you're trying to make a decision, but it goes against everything that you've told yourself your whole life that you could do, that you thought you could do, that you'd want to do. And what I do in these scenarios is I think about that piece, right, the thing that I've been wanting to do. So again, rock climbing, pottery class, whatever that is for you okay and you're going to start to think about what your life could look like with that aspect, with that piece added. What is doing this thing going to add to your life? And you can make a list. You could sit and meditate in it or just like think and feel it.
Speaker 1:I'm a person who likes to talk out loud a lot. I think it's why I'm a podcaster. It's because I like to talk to myself out loud, and so I will talk these scenarios out or I'll journal them out. I like to draw a lot, so like I'll draw pictures of what these things could look like. I have a vision for like a dream house, a dream scenario, right, and I'll draw, you know, the layout of the house and all these things. So I would really think about that piece and what it's going to add to your life.
Speaker 1:And is there anything with this piece that you're going to have to sacrifice some stuff for? Maybe, if it is that you are training for a rock climbing competition, are you going to have to sacrifice some time with your family? Are you going to have to sacrifice some time in your schedule to get workouts in, to get that arm strength up, because you've got to carry your whole freaking body up the side of a mountain? Are you going to have to make some sacrifices in how you eat so that you can physically get fit and strong to lead up to this, so that again you can hang your body off of the side of a cliff? But you're really going to have to look at those both pieces, what it's going to add to your life and what you're going to have to sacrifice. And again, remembering that these are seasons. It's not that you're going to be training for a rock climbing competition or training for a marathon for the rest of your life, maybe, if your decision is to have a baby, in which case, then yes, that's going to be a bit more long-term, but if you're looking at this on a smaller scale, planning an event even a year of your life is not that long to plan an event like this. So what are you willing to sacrifice for a whole year and what is that going to add to your life? What's it going to add to the lives of those around you? And if you look at that list and you feel like the addition outweighs some of that sacrifice, or maybe the sacrifices don't look that bad because you really want to do this thing or you're feeling like a challenge is what you need in your life right now, lean into it a little bit more. Next step you can take after that is looking at the registration.
Speaker 1:The next step I took was starting to look at venues. Right, looking at different areas where we could do an event like this, polling people, seeing if they're going to come. Also, you could ask friends and family have you ever done something like this before? What would you suggest for me, as I want to embark on a rock climbing endeavor? Right, you can lean into the energy differently, but make sure you're solid in your foundation before you go and start to bring in outside opinions, and I say that because that's what's best, typically, for me.
Speaker 1:There are other people and this can be a human design perspective thing as well. So for those of you who are into human design which I know I talk about here and there and dabble in a little bit, I'm a big fan of human design and understanding yourself on a different level, and for some people, talking it out is actually the best thing. So they might call their BFF or call their mom and talk everything out, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the person that you're talking to's opinion matters in this scenario and I chuckle a little bit as I say that because it doesn't mean that we don't care what you have to say but for some people, they need to talk it out, say it, but that clarity is still going to come from within. They need to voice it, but they're still going to have to trust what's coming to their gut first and foremost, before listening to other people's opinions. So really get clear on what it is that you need and make sure that that decision is coming from within yourself before we listen to anyone else's and know that you can and make sure that that decision is coming from within yourself before we listen to anyone else's and know that you can dip your toe in, know that you can change your mind.
Speaker 1:You can dip your toe into the pool of rock climbing and not necessarily still have to sign up for the competition. Right, you could sign up for a class. You could sign up to talk to a coach. You could sign up to even just go check out the gym. Right, if there's a rock climbing gym close to you, you could go and check out the gym and you can try to put this on the vision that you have. Whatever it is I don't know why I'm going rock climbing today, but it is what it is Start to just take one little step in that direction, and that doesn't necessarily mean you have to go all in right. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to go all in right. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to sign up for the whole course or hire a coach or all the things you can dabble. You can dip your toe in and know that it's okay. If you dip your toe in, you realize you don't want to do it, or you dip your toe in and you're all in, you're ready to go. It doesn't matter. It just is for you to kind of play things out, have a little fun with it.
Speaker 1:Find some joy in your life. If this, if the number one thing on your list, was like you know what, this could be really fun. I think we need more fun in our lives. I don't know about you, but, like in my 30s, fun can sometimes be on the back burner. It can often be the last thing I'm thinking about behind. You know family and work and all of the other things Fun can. Sometimes it just looks like Netflix, right, and that's boring. Let's be real. So if you're feeling the pull for something fun like rock climbing or marathon running or pottery class I don't know reading a new book, those things if they bring joy and fun into your life, I want you to put them on the top of your list. Find a way to make it happen, because we truly do need more light and fun in our life, especially as adults.
Speaker 1:I don't understand where this stops or why everything else became so important before fun. You remember when you were a kid and you just begged your mom to take you out to the park because all you want to do is go down the slide, or to take you to the McDonald's play place. You didn't even care about the freaking nuggies, all you wanted to do was go play in the ball pit. Right, because fun was our priority. Before eating, before getting our chores done, before anything else, we just wanted to have some fun, and we're losing that.
Speaker 1:So if you're feeling a pull today to do something that's going to bring joy into your life, that's going to bring fun in some way, even if it's difficult and even if it's scary, I want you to go after it. I want you to try. It doesn't have to, again, be huge and like signing up for something, but just dip your toe in, sign up for the class, go for a swim, do the thing, because it really is going to have a huge impact on your life. And I don't think we always think about the impact. We often think about the sacrifice first, but today I want you to just consider the impact a little bit more.
Speaker 1:And again, if that fear or that thing is, if you want to come to speak up or not, dip your toe in, send me a message, connect with me. I want you to feel as confident as possible walking into this event, so I am happy to answer any questions you have about the event, and I would love to see you there. Like I am so excited for all of the hugs and all of the people, and just being in this space is just so cool, so I'll put the information in the show notes again, but go after what's on your heart. I'm so excited for you on this next adventure and I love you so freaking much and I will talk to you next week. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
