Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
From burnout to entrepreneurial freedom w/ Emily-Jane Sarroff
What if you could break free from the 9-to-5 grind and build a six-figure business in just eight months? In this episode, we join the remarkable Emily-Jane Sarroff, who bravely left her conventional job and master's program at 22 to chase her entrepreneurial dreams. Emily takes us through her bold transition, sharing invaluable lessons on self-discovery and the pursuit of freedom and flexibility. Her story serves as an incredible testament to the power of embracing change and viewing challenges as growth opportunities.
Emily-Jane’s mission is to show entrepreneurs that the possibilities of what they can achieve in life is truly limitless and that the only thing stopping them from getting where they want to be is their mindset & skillset (both of which you have the power to shift). She is a graduate of Architectural Design, Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach, Business Mentor, social media figure, host of the Empower with Em Podcast, and a 6 figure business owner.
Connect with Emily:
Instagram: https://instagram.com/empowerwithem
Empower with Em Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/empowerwithempodcast
6 Figure System Free Training: https://empowerwithem.myflodesk.com/6figsystem
Tune in for an episode packed with transformative insights and inspiration!
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My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and I am so excited because we have a very extra special guest coming from the future, a whole other world away. Here I have my very good friend, emily Jane Seroff here, and I'm just so excited to have you. How are you doing, emily?
Speaker 2:I am doing wonderful. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:Like listen to that. How is that accent? My friends, I don't think I've ever had anyone from that far away over on the podcast before, so I think it's really special to have someone with a totally different life perspective to be here to chat with us today. So can you tell us a bit about you and where you got started on this story that you have?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:Well, I always love the accents and getting to listen to the different ones in the podcast episodes when we do these globally.
Speaker 2:But I am from Australia and my journey really started at the age of 22, where I decided to quit my nine to five job, drop out of my master's degree and follow this tug that was on my heart to really explore the online business space. And so, after taking those big, bold steps forward, I then put my head down to figure out what kind of business I wanted to have and how I was going to get it up and running, and within just eight months of going all in on that vision, I made my first six figures in business of how I got onto this trajectory because it really was. You know, before that point of being 22 years old, I was always just so focused on the traditional path, on climbing the corporate ladder, you know, graduate high school, get a good degree and then follow the path as so many other people do. But yeah, I really reached that point towards the end of that journey where I realized that that wasn't for me, and so I wanted to do something and explore something different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think going in like that total different direction, like let's 360, this at 22 years old is wild and so beautiful for you to also know that. Very similar. Like I went to university, I did the traditional path that my parents laid out for me, right, and you come to that and you're like I don't think I could do this desk thing like nine to five all the time, forever. So I yeah, I commend you as seeing that so young too, like 22, wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, for me it was a matter of, like you know, I was in the situation.
Speaker 2:I was in the position, right I was was I had graduated my bachelor's, I had was six months away from being like full-time as a master's of architecture graduate, and I was sitting in the office like working in an architecture job already, and I just felt so restricted you know, like having to go into an office Monday to Friday, abide by the hours that someone else is setting for you and I felt so restricted and at that point, like I wasn't even full time on in a nine to five path, right and so I would think about like okay, six months from now, when I graduate my master's, like this is going to be my every single day, like this is going to be my every single day, like this is going to be my routine life, and that just didn't sit good with me. You know, for me I really craved more freedom, more flexibility, to have more control over when I work, how I work, what that looks like, and really live a life that was by my design rather than a life by, you know, the design of someone else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, and I think we're kind of brainwashed from our parents. At least myself like to have that traditional focus because that's what has worked for so long, but I love that we're stepping into change, into different seasons, because that's what this is all about, right, experiencing new things and the online space is amazing. So the fact that you're doing this is all about, right, experiencing new things and the online space is amazing. So the fact that you're doing this is so freaking cool. And I know that life can change so drastically. We've talked about this recently when we recorded for your podcast. Like, life can change drastically in a year and I think you're a true example of that From being an employee to being in your master's, to six-figure business in eight months To traveling the world and doing your own self-discovery. So how did you tackle all of these seasons of change in your life?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean just one step at a time, right, like, obviously, every time a new season of change would present itself to me, like there would be a depth of like, a level of discomfort that would come with that as well, and each different phase, like had its own unique challenges and different intensities at which those were experienced. But even now, like where I am at this point in my journey, I always just open myself up to receive what I need to receive and trust that whatever I'm being presented with is to help me with my own evolution. And so whenever I would find myself in a challenging experience, there's one question I always come back to and I ask the question of what is the opportunity in this experience? And then that really allows me to go within and start to look for where the opportunities of growth are within those challenging moments.
Speaker 2:So if I go back to that very first pivotal point for me as a 22-year-old and I was experiencing such inner conflict where I knew in my body that I didn't want to be on that path, but then in my head, logically, I'm justifying why I should stay on that path that I was on, and so I asked myself what's the opportunity in this experience, in that moment, and then that's where I was able to start to, you know, really visualize the two different directions that my life could then follow and you know, neither is right or wrong at the end of the day, like if I had chosen that actually I want to stay on that path I'm on, I would have made something of it, but the path that was standing out for me, the opportunity that was standing out for me the most, was that opportunity to create more freedom and more of what it is that I was really feeling called to bring into my life.
Speaker 2:So asking that question whenever faced with a challenge I find really helps me with navigating that and moving through it and really being future focused as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that and I think even just asking yourself those questions can make such a big impact and a big difference in whatever you choose to do. And you're right, Whatever direction you took was going to be awesome and you would have made it work. But I think you're, I think you're on the right path. Where you're going Sounds way more exciting than an architecture office. But you know, to each their own. There's someone like who's in architecture right now listening and like, hey, I like my job, you do you. I love that for you. It's not for all of us. I know that you traveled Canada right for six months, which is so cool to be able to see this country.
Speaker 2:I wonder why you picked Canada, like, why here? Yeah, so I had a friend in Canada who I had been online friends with for about four or five years at that point and we had always said we need to meet in person, we need to do some adventures together and because we're both in the same businesses as well, so we've been supporting each other from the sidelines. So for me, the idea of going to Canada like I had never left the country before, I had never traveled solo anywhere before so there was a level of comfort that I could find in Canada, knowing that there would be someone that I knew there and it was an English-speaking country 100%, I totally can feel that like the extra safety level of that you're like oh okay, it's a little easier.
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, I love that that's the thing, right. Like you know, when you are stretching your comfort zone, it's still okay to find um, you know, it doesn't have to be. Let's say, for example, if I was to go travel solo in Japan for six months, that would be like a bit of a panic zone for me because I don't understand the language, I don't understand the culture, I don't understand the culture, like that would be throwing myself like well outside of the uncomfort zone in itself versus Canada, like for me that felt like it was uncomfortable, but there was still that element of safety there which, of course, for me, at that time in particular, was important to have because of the relationship that I had just come out of. Important to have because of the relationship that I had just come out of and that that travel experience was a thing for me to be building self-trust and, you know, refining that safety within myself as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. I moved away to an English speaking country. There's just something a little bit easier about it and I love that. And I know through this process you did a lot of that self-discovery piece of finding your joy again, finding the things that light you up. So what did you find on this journey of traveling for six months, like what was the things that do bring you joy, both in life and business, in that season, and like now?
Speaker 2:It was really about, like, creating space to just prioritize me, because in the years that had, like you know, led up to that, I had, in high school, like you know, been so hard working, just focused on being out of graduating and go to university.
Speaker 2:Then I went to university and I was just so focused on working hard to get a degree and then I quit my degree and I started my business, and so I was just so focused on building the business and, like you know, getting myself ahead and so my entire life, like up until the age of 24, like I was just so focused on achieving and working and never actually given myself space to just have fun.
Speaker 2:And so I had just come out of a domestic violence relationship. So, you know, I was in a place where my energy needed healing. I, my self-trust needed healing. I needed to really reconnect and refine who I was, because I had lost myself across that relationship. And so when I went overseas like it was about just just that, you know, being open to whatever it is that I needed to receive that peace in my healing, to create more connections, to experience more fun, joy in everyday life and intertwine that into my business as well, because whilst I was traveling, I was still able to work my business and take that with me, but do it in a way where it was kind of coming second to the experiences that I wanted to create whilst there.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, what did you find that brought you joy, like, did you find anything that you're like, oh, this is like, this is good, this is good stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the biggest two things I would say would be just like reconnecting with nature and also connecting with people, right? So I, when I was away, I was away, I did go to, obviously, you know, all the major cities in Canada, but where I found myself, like feeling the most lit up and, you know, excited and alive, was when I was in nature, you know. So, when I was in like the Niagara region and when I was also in Squamish was like the two places that, for me, it just lit me up the most because of the, the, how surrounded by nature I was in those moments, but also the people that were in those environments as well, and how I was able to like really create all of these meaningful friendships with people within such a short window of time, you know, at the hostels that I was staying at and the adventures that we could then go on, and that, for me, was the greatest gift of that experience.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm with you. Niagara is beautiful. I love that Is. Was there anything that you could bring back home? Like? Did you start spending more time in nature at home? Like what, for you, has been an opportunity for you to seek more joy in everyday life at home too.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I guess, for me at home, when it comes to seeking more joy, like when I came back home, I was coming back home to a relationship which was, you know, really exciting because when I did leave for my trip to Canada, like I was single, I had been seeing someone casually in the lead up to my me leaving, but then we had decided that neither of us wanted to do long distance. But after the first month of being away we then actually decided we did want to do long distance. So for me to be able to come back home like the biggest piece of joy that I was excited to come back home for was to be able to deepen that relationship that I had stepped into whilst I was traveling, but also like being able to bring back a version of myself who is so much more sure about who she is, what she wants, trusts herself more and and and has that, you know, spark for life again. Um was really like, you know, coming home that's what I anchored into. That brought me the most happiness.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I love a good love story, so I'm so happy for you. Let's chat about, like, your bread and butter and I know you're all about business and you know so many great pieces about business. But I really wanted to chat with you about that burnout piece because I know that's kind of part, a big part, of your story and a lot of female entrepreneurs experience this at some point, myself included, through this process. So, like, how did you know that you were starting to feel that burnout process in those? I think it was right after your first eight months to like what did you do to recover from that after building like what the world would see as a successful business on the outside and be like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Emily, like you did it. But you are like feeling those burnout pieces through the process. Yeah, completely right. And, like you said, from the outside, like everyone will view and go, wow, so successful, you've got everything.
Speaker 2:But then, when you're actually on the other side of it and you're experiencing those feelings of burnout and burnout, I experienced it in many layers, you know.
Speaker 2:One layer was obviously the physical, where I was experiencing like health issues because of the way that I had sacrificed my values and my health in pursuit of a certain goal.
Speaker 2:Another layer I was experiencing it on was my friendships, you know, like I had isolated myself from the people who were really, like, most important to me at that time. And then, of course, there was the mental and emotional exhaustion as well. So when I did reach that point of burnout, like it showed in many different layers and it was only when I had taken that moment to pause and celebrate where I had gotten that then my body caught up and all of a sudden I crashed. Right. And so for me, like, the reason why I burnt out was because I sacrificed so many things which previously were important for me on a fulfillment level, but also on a health level, right, like sacrificing rest, sacrificing self-care, sacrificing connection, sacrificing having fun, you know, and for me, in that moment I was so focused on the goal that I didn't recognize what it was costing me as I was in pursuit of that goal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely. And to even come out from that to start. So I know you do business very differently than you did when you started, too right. Like to just come out of that and to see things so clearly and to do things so differently, I think is what a lot of women need to hear. So, like, what did you do to step into a new season of business that felt more sustainable for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's really interesting because in the window of time where I was like really going through, like my burnout recovery, I was actually adding to the burnout more and more and more and more right. So, you know, I made my first six figures. I then got into the domestic violence relationship and when I should have been healing my burnout, that relationship was actually further deepening my burnout, right. And so one mistake that I made in that moment was, you know, allowing myself to stay in an environment that clearly wasn't helping the state that I was already in right. So that was like the first mistake. And so if someone is experiencing burnout now, you don't need to be in a domestic violence relationship to take this advice. But if you're experiencing burnout right now and you're trying tirelessly to heal that burnout and it feels like it's just not changing at all, take a look at the environment you're in, including the people that are around you, including you know the way that you are spending each day, the things that you are doing and making sure that everything within your environment is supporting your healing journey. Because if it doesn't, if it isn't, then you're going to find yourself staying stuck in that place longer and longer and longer.
Speaker 2:So for me, the real healing from burnout has only really started since I started to go on my travels last year, right Because I came out of that relationship all of a sudden, I had space to heal because there weren't external factors that were, you know, continuing to sabotage the progress that I was making. And so for me, a part of healing my burnout was having more fun, creating more space for joy. But now where I am, since I've been back from traveling for it's been about I got back in November last year, so it's almost been we're coming up on one year since I did all of my travels. For me, like this, this year in particular has been about healing my burnout through slowing down and creating more stability in my environment, you know, allowing myself to stay in one place and enjoy slower routines, better boundaries around when I'm working and when I'm resting, and, again, like just continuing to prioritize space for rest and fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. I am a big fan of space, big fan of space. I think it's so important for us to have more space in our life to be able to you're right like have fun, but also to just think and get new ideas. And, especially as entrepreneurs, we can be full like full schedule, full out parents like you know it's busy, right, and I love that you're creating a business that is sustainable and that can fit your lifestyle going forward, and so I'd love to know how business looks now as a six-figure entrepreneur who is very successful in what she does now versus, like you know, burnout Emily, who was building a business that just didn't feel totally safe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say that the biggest difference is, like, my grounding in my leadership, because when I was in that space of burnout and I, you know, wasn't really in the environment or in the mental space to be really scaling my business further, it was more about maintenance, right, it was more about survival, keeping myself afloat, keeping my business afloat Whereas now that I've got the capacity and I've got the space to actually be diving in and working on my leadership, working on managing my team, working on, you know, really bringing myself and the people that are in this with me up and raising us up to that next level that we want to get to. That's really the biggest difference in how I was running my business then versus how I'm able to actually, like, run my business now and the energy that I'm able to bring my into my business now.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, A totally different focus for you to even start to see joy in business again. What's your favorite thing about being an entrepreneur in this season?
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is an interesting question because there's lots going on within my my space at the moment, you know, when it comes to, like we are working on cleaning up systems so that we can scale further, which to me is not very fun, it's a very overwhelming task but then at the same time, like there's a lot of fulfillment that comes from knowing that those actions that I'm taking are ultimately like supporting that next level of my evolution.
Speaker 2:But I would probably say the most exciting thing within my business right now is how I'm deepening, like, the element of connection. Again, like that was one of the intentions for myself for this year and last year was to continue to have deeper connections and so being able to do that through the lens of running events and attending events. It's just bringing such a greater level of fulfillment to everything that I'm doing because of that extra depth of relationship and connections that I'm able to foster, especially now that I have the capacity for it, because previously I didn't have the capacity for it, because previously I didn't have the capacity to be creating relationships and deepening relationships because, again, like I didn't even have the capacity to fully serve myself. So that's probably the most exciting thing about where we are right now is like having that capacity to actually connect with other people and deepen those relationships in so many magical ways.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm so grateful that we can have connections again, especially in person, because it was a long journey of not being able to see each other, and I'm so grateful that we just can finally come together and to feel that energy, because entrepreneurship can be really lonely, so if we're not fostering those relationships, it's you can succeed, but it's just not going to feel as fun. So I love that piece of it. What does it mean for you to build a business that focuses on freedom, impact and purpose?
Speaker 2:I love this question because freedom, impact and purpose are all things that are really important to me, right, like the freedom of opportunities, the freedom of time, the freedom of finances, like all different levels of freedom that I'm wanting to create.
Speaker 2:Impact, like impact, is the piece that really brings the fulfillment. It's really what gives me that drive to want to go beyond just serving myself. Right, and, to be honest, like at this point, I think there's many levels to business and in the very first few stages of your business journey, it is about serving yourself. But then, when you're wanting to scale beyond what's just meeting your own needs, that really needs to be connected to impact. It needs to be connected to something so much greater. So, for me, it all comes back to wanting to lead a life that brings me fulfillment, wanting to lead a life that you know maybe it is breaking away from the secure path or the normal path, but it's following a path that lights me up and it's allowing myself to really live life on my terms and show other people how they can do the same as well. So that's really what the core of it comes back to for me.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, definitely. I like that foundation and that focus for business too. So, emily, thank you for being here. I have a few more questions for you, but can you tell us where our listeners can connect with you online, where they can find your podcast and listen in? Give us all the deets Awesome.
Speaker 2:The best place to find me is on Instagram. That's where I hang out the most, so I am at empowerwithm on Instagram, or you can listen to my podcast, which is the empowerwithm podcast, and it's basically an audio diary of you know me from the age of 22, all the way up until now, 26, and and sharing every single step in that journey that I've been on through entrepreneurship.
Speaker 1:Isn't that so cool with a podcast that you can watch your life transition and as you keep going you should be like, oh right, I did that episode when I was 22. Wow, like wild. So it's just so much fun. So I have a few questions that I ask every guest that comes on the podcast. You ready, I'm ready, okay. So what is your favorite compliment to receive?
Speaker 2:Oh my, I would say you are intelligent, like you know you are. You know like you are intelligent, or like you are so successful you know, and ambitious, right, like initially the little wounded part of myself always goes to be told that I'm beautiful. But actually my higher self really loves to be receiving that compliment of like wow, I see how hard you work, I see your ambition, I see your drive, I see your intelligence, I see all of that. Oh yeah, that is, I see your drive, I see your intelligence. I see all of that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that is a good one. I do see your intelligence and you are working hard. I love watching what you're doing. It's so good. So what is your favorite thing to do to boost your mood when you're feeling grumpy? I have a playlist which I love to listen to, which just has a whole heap of hype songs on it oh okay, so this might be a really weird question, but I'm curious would your music be the same as, like, canadian music?
Speaker 2:yeah, probably. I mean it's all of you know the trending pop songs like, for example, like one of my hype up songs when I'm feeling a little bit low, is Unwritten, oh yeah so good, you're not the first person to say that on here, so it's so good, such a high vibe one, you know, yeah, okay, so we'd be.
Speaker 1:We'd be vibing on the same playlist yeah, whether you're in. Australia or in Canada. I love that do you have a song? Well, I guess unwritten, but do you have a song or quote that boosts your confidence?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the song that boosts my confidence would be I am woman. I am woman, I am fearless, yeah, and that one for me it anchors just back into, you know, like raising my self-worth and standing in my personal power.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. That's such a good song. Well, thank you so much, Emily Jane, for being here, for hanging out with us, for spending some time with us today. We truly appreciate everything that you're sharing and thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate you. What's up?
Speaker 1:sis, I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
