Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Finding hope in your chaotic and busy days
Feeling overwhelmed by your busy schedule? You're not alone. Join me, Jess, on this episode of Selfish Confidence as I share my own journey through the chaos and the art of finding peace amidst it all. I recount a particularly hectic day where an oracle bird deck served as a gentle reminder to seek peace and harmony.
Struggling to prioritize self-care? I've got you covered with practical strategies for navigating those jam-packed days. From starting your morning with a nutritious breakfast to grounding yourself through reading and meditation, these tips are designed to help you maintain balance and prevent burnout. I'll also share the importance of re-energizing activities like moving your body and soaking up some sunshine, and why it’s essential to assess your schedule in advance to make room for new opportunities and energy.
Grab your Speak Up! Tickets ---> https://jessclerke.com/speak-up
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I'm just having one of those days where you are pulled in a million directions and I know you can relate. There's no way that the busy woman listening to this right now is sitting there and be like I don't know what you're talking about. My life is so easy, breezy, zero stress life over here and maybe, if it is for you, I love that. I'm sending you some great big hugs because I'm so freaking proud of you. But I think there's a good chance. If you're listening to this today, you know the life that I'm talking about, or the days that I'm talking about when you're just like all over the place when work's calling your name, where life at home, your personal life, is calling your name, where dinner isn't gonna make itself, so that's also calling your name and it's just like you're being pulled in a million directions. And I'm feeling that way today and I wanted to share that with you because you know, I'm all about real talk and I'm all about sharing the ins and outs and everything of life with you. And on days like today, you just want a minute for yourself, right, it's like what you're waiting for and you're wishing for. But today felt a little bit different. It's again. It's also full moon energy today, so that might be adding to the chaos a little bit more, but normally I'm like okay, I just need a break, or I just need to get to this day and I can, you know, sit down or I can slow down. But I didn't want that. Today. I'm finally having some energy back and feeling really good in the path and where we're at and what's going on. And as obviously, speak Up is getting closer and closer every single day, I just am like, okay, I love that the ball is moving and I almost can't catch it and I'm just going to keep running after it because we need to be in motion.
Speaker 1:It feels like a season of motion and in these seasons, even though it feels really chaotic, it feels really stressful. It's so much on our plates that sometimes it's too much to even handle, but the excitement and the fun pieces that can come with some of these really busy days just re-energizes you. It helps to remind you, like why you're here and what your purpose is and what's going on in life. And maybe your busy day doesn't feel like that. Maybe you're just like it's just busy, jess, it's just busy over here, and if that's the case, I'm sending you a hug. But today, like my day is not even close to over yet and I feel like I've been going since I woke up this morning.
Speaker 1:In these seasons, when life is busy, but so busy that you don't really want it to slow down, it's a good busy. There's some things that you can do for your self-care and today, actually, before I sat on the mic, I sat down with my birds, my oracle bird deck. I was like I need to connect with the birds today and I know you're like, jess, you crazy. But as I pulled the card, I pulled the card of the ostrich and the ostrich is all about the big picture and it says here take unusual paths for peace and harmony. And as I pulled that card I was reminded of our sisterhood workshop that we had last week where we were talking about the seasons of change and I know I've talked about this a lot but I wanted to share with our sisterhood, with our community, about the season of change that I'm going through and I've kind of alluded to it a little bit here. I promise I'm going to be sharing more with you really soon, but it's been taking me a little bit more time to process it than I had anticipated. And finally being able to share that with my sisters, with my community of people who want to see me shine, was so beautiful.
Speaker 1:But one of the themes that kept coming up in these seasons of change was seeking peace, seeking harmony in our lives, like seeking those moments where you can just be like, like, even though things are busy and things are feeling like there's a lot on my plate, I'm at peace with where I am in my life and I can truly say that today, as today feels like I'm being pulled in a million directions, I'm really at peace with the directions that I'm being pulled in this life that we're creating. It just feels like a really big gift to be this busy. And I'm telling you this as someone who has not been busy for a long time, where I've been having to take a little bit more breaks, taking a little bit more rest in my life and and I think that's maybe why I'm appreciating a busy season a bit more because it's been feeling a little slow. So maybe, if you're feeling like your busy season has been going for a really long time, that you actually might need the opposite. Instead of embracing more busyness and more on your plate and adding a bunch, maybe it's actually your season that you slow down, or the season that you just put your foot on the brake just a little bit. Not enough to like stop the car, because I know it's really hard to like get the car rolling again, especially in entrepreneurship, in any area of your life, right, self-development, so many pieces.
Speaker 1:But what's so important is that you, when it feels too much, when you're starting to get to that burnout stage, when you're starting to feel like, okay, I can't really take one more thing on here. And I think we live in a society that really struggles with slowing down, and I'm starting to embrace it more and more again through learning my human design, learning that I'm a projector, I know I need more rest than the average human, and learning that was really hard to implement. In the beginning I was actually really bitter which is the not self theme of a projector because it's like what do you mean? I can't keep up with society, I can't keep up with this pace that the world is going at. And it's not that I can't keep up. I just have to take an unusual path, a different approach, adding more rest, taking things a little slower where some seasons are going to be busy, I'm going to have other seasons that are going to be slow and just being able to embrace kind of that roller coaster of life. For you it might be totally different.
Speaker 1:Maybe you don't need a longer season of slowing down but you need, like throughout your day, maybe a couple of little breaks. I always think it's kind of funny that smokers always got to get a break, like you guys always got like a 15 minute break if you were a smoker, but people who didn't smoke, they didn't get a break. I think we need wellness breaks throughout our day, especially if you work a traditional nine to five. Like just lie and say you're a smoker and taking a smoke break like do something for you throughout the day, if that's a way for you to rejuvenate. There can also be seasons where maybe you need one day off a week. I think a four-day work week would be just like ideal. I'm a person who is like a three-day work week is my ideal, but maybe for you in a corporate space, four days and having you know an early on Friday or being able to take a day every week for appointments would be ideal.
Speaker 1:I want you to start to think about, in these busy seasons, or even in these days where you're pulled in a million directions, what would be the best thing for you. What do you need today? Maybe you're feeling it like me. What do you need today that's going to help you to be able to set yourself up for success for tomorrow? One of the things that was in my busy to-dos today was prepping not only dinner for tonight but using some of those leftovers to making a new meal. So one of our go-tos. I'm just going to tell you and Glenn's going to listen to this and he's like yeah, I kind of requested that.
Speaker 1:So we do tacos frequently and if you've been following along on our journey or you've been following on social media for a long time, you know we used to celebrate taco Tuesday like it was going out of style. People would tag me and things on social media and be like I'm having tacos too. Now we're not that obsessive on the specific day that we have tacos anymore, but sometimes you just feel in a taco, okay, and that sounds kind of sexual, but it's not. You're just feeling like a taco and I so I was like I would like to have tacos for dinner and Glenn's like awesome, can we have the leftovers into taco pasta? So we'll make tacos and then the next day I put it with noodles and I use kind of like a salsa as the sauce. It is magical and it's the best way to have your leftovers and it's just a way to kind of set yourself up for success tomorrow. That means I know that I have food in the fridge. That's going to energize myself, right? Because sometimes skipping lunch is the thing that I do best on days when it feels really busy. But I'm not going to do that because I got lunch waiting for me, right, I set myself up for success tomorrow. Did it make today a little bit busier? Yeah, but I know tomorrow future me is going to thank me.
Speaker 1:Same things with a lot of these behind the scenes. I wanted to share with you some really exciting behind the scenes things that are going with Speak Up and planning this event. So we're like a month and a half away to Speak Up, which still is blowing my mind as it keeps getting closer and closer and closer and I'm just like, oh wow, we've been playing this for a whole year and it's actually happening. And so today we had two really epic sponsors say yes to putting beautiful gifts in the swag bags. I also had a really wonderful conversation with a sponsor for our VIP sunset cruise and it's just watching all of these pieces come together really make this busy season feel really extra special, like it energizes me to see all these pieces coming together. I was working with Emily today on our workbook for the event and that is looking really, really good and it's gonna be going to print really soon.
Speaker 1:And there's just so many things behind the scenes of these events that we don't always think about, right? Just the other day I was talking to with my very good friend, sarah D, about the decorations and we planned out all of the decorations for this room and it's going to be so freaking cool. And if you don't have your ticket yet for speak up, it's okay. Tickets are still on sale for a little bit longer. We are probably at about 50% capacity. Boat cruise is well over, I think, 50% capacity. So if you're VIP I'm a VIP girl you're going to want to get your ticket and you're going to want to get it soon and I'll put all that information for you in the show notes.
Speaker 1:But even as I sit here and I think about the connections that can happen in these rooms and I know you've heard me talk about this so many times but I'm sitting here in my office with a card deck given to me by a very good friend of mine that I met at an event like this, who may be seeking this event right, who's become one of my very best friends, and I sit here wearing a bracelet from another very good friend of mine who I met at an event, and this bracelet is like a special, magical bracelet that she took off her body to give to me. And these are the type of people that you are going to meet in these rooms. This is not a room just for entrepreneurs or for you to network and mingle and to be like bougie. Bougie, look at me. We're going to be looking at you, but not because of any other thing than your absolute magic. Exactly as you are, you could show up in your sweatpants and we're going to be celebrating you and loving on you and reminding you of your power. This is a room for you to meet your people who want to see you shine, who want to see you just like glowing in the world, but also the ones who are going to pull you out of those funky times or remind you on days like today, when you're being pulled in a million directions that you know take a breath, take a break, it's okay, tomorrow can be better, right? These are the people you're going to meet in this room and, again, it's not just for entrepreneurs. I'm talking to you my teachers, my stay at home mamas, my people who are just looking for that community around them, nurses, anything who are looking for that extra boost of confidence, both from the people that they meet and from the speakers at this event. I could sit here and goo about it all day, but we're not going to because I have other things I want to talk to you about today. So I'll put all the information for you in the show notes so you can go and grab your ticket right now and start planning this epic weekend. I'm so excited and again, remember, if you're in the sisterhood, we do have a special lunch right before, and if you're like I want to come to this special lunch, you're going to have to join the sisterhood in September in order to be able to access it, and I'm so excited to have that extra time, at a smaller and intimate level, with our sisterhood lunch. It's just going to be just such a wonderful, wonderful weekend.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to share with you a couple things that I do in these seasons like today not even a season, it could be just a day right that feels so freaking full that you don't have a pocket or air to breathe, like I literally just had to pause this to run downstairs to put my dog in our guest room because she wouldn't stop barking. So I'm still a little breathless from running up the stairs and that just is the kind of day we're having. And in those seasons or in those days, there's a couple things that I do to make sure that I'm prioritizing what I need right, because sometimes, most of the time, all the time when these days happen, we put ourselves on the back burner. We are the last things that we think about, and I know, for my health, for my family's health, for all of the things that I need to do, I need to put myself first, and so sometimes that can start with an earlier start in the morning. Maybe it just means waking up and making sure I'm getting a good breakfast in on a day that I know is going to be really full. I'm a girl who needs to eat. Okay, food is a top priority and though, although I might forget Lunch every once in a while, it's mostly because I'm like in the thick of it and I'm like hyper focused and I forget.
Speaker 1:But I need to start my day out. Well, I'm gonna tell you the truth Most of the time it's not an early, early, too early of a start over here. I like my sleep, I like being able to have a slow morning we just talked about that a few weeks ago but if my day is going to be particularly busy, like meetings and groceries and all the things that you have to do in the day. I try to prioritize making sure that I'm getting a good meal in first thing in the morning and I'm also taking that self-care time first thing in the morning, whether that's slowing down a little bit or enjoying my cup of coffee or doing my self-care routine. For me that includes reading, meditating, spending some time with myself.
Speaker 1:I'm going to prioritize that first thing in the morning because I know, as the day goes on, it's not going to happen Like, as today gets further and further into, it's going to be bedtime. And when bedtime happens, I'm not going to happen like as today gets further and further into, it's going to be bedtime, and when bedtime happens, I'm not going to be pulling out my book or doing my little meditation, I'm going to put my head on the pillow. I'm going to be going to sleep like. That is reality, right? So making sure that we're putting some of these things that we are going to feel good about first. So first thing in the morning, or maybe right after you get the kids on the school bus, taking 15 minutes as early as possible before the day gets ahead of you, so that you can ground yourself first.
Speaker 1:And that's kind of the second piece to it is making sure that I'm centered in what I'm doing and these busy days are actually energizing me for something bigger and not draining me. Because if these busy days are every single day and there's no time to energize it back in Friday, you gonna be dead, not literally, just, but figuratively. Okay, you're gonna put your head on the couch at 5 pm and you're gonna be done, right? And that's why we have to focus on some of these energizing activities. Is that moving your body in a way that feels really good? Is it, you know, making sure that you have good meals spaced out throughout the day? Is it prioritizing some kind of self-care?
Speaker 1:There's so many different avenues and for each of us it's so different, and I think that's why I struggle with sitting on the mic and being like here's my daily routine. Start with this, this and this. One you probably would laugh at my routine. And two, my routine might not work for you. What works for me, the times that are best for me to work, the pockets of my day where I'm going to have some self-care, those schedules might not work for you. They're probably not going to work for you, right? Because we're all unique and we're all different and that's why it's so important for that trial and error to find some of those things out. But, first and foremost, if you can get it done as early as possible, you're going to feel so much better and to be focusing on those energizing activities. So again, for me it's moving my body.
Speaker 1:Getting sunshine is typically top of my list. It's been hot lately, so my sun is getting a little shorter and shorter. But making sure that I'm taking the dog out and getting a little bit of sun re-energizes me for that next half of the day that can be a little busier. Or maybe it's taking a quick break to grab a glass of water or to grab a Coke Zero, which is pretty much my go-to. And finding something that re-energizes me, not necessarily just from the caffeine boost, which that does help, but also from that perspective of just like this is nourishing for my soul. This is the piece that's going to get me to that next step of my day, that next half of my day, because I need it.
Speaker 1:And lastly, one of the things that I find really helpful in busier seasons is looking at my schedule ahead of time. I actually sat down with a girlfriend of mine not that long ago and I looked at her schedule and it was just full from the second she woke up whether these were personal things, work things, all types of things in her calendar, but it was full. And I know there are some people who love a good, organized, full calendar. I'm just not one of those people and I truly do believe if we don't have space in our life, if we don't have space in our calendars, you're not going to have new opportunities coming in, you're not going to have new energy coming in, because we need space in order to have more creativity, in order to really thrive in. Who the worst? You're like trying to fall asleep and seven new business ideas come in. No, we can't be having that, because that's really gonna, you know, hold us back from the ultimate potential that we have. So I sat down with a girlfriend of mine. I looked at her schedule and I said, girl, there is no space in here.
Speaker 1:Like you don't even have buffers, like what if you're running late from one of your meetings? And we don't always think about the worst in some of these scenarios, but I don't know about you. I run late a lot, I'm running over in meetings a lot and I know that can be a lack of respect of my time, but also it's reality, like that's just what happens sometimes. Also, it's reality, like that's just what happens sometimes. So we need to be allowing a little bit more buffer in our lives with these busy schedules, and so we just kind of knocked things out, like where can we have a little bit more buffer time? And maybe it's not in this week's schedule because you already created it and it is full. Maybe it's looking at next week's or next month's and making a schedule that fits your lifestyle a little bit better.
Speaker 1:I know that sometimes when we look at our calendars, our weeks can be full and maybe it's like that for you for every single week. And if that's the case, I really challenge you to start looking a month ahead, two months ahead, to adjusting your calendar to fit a life that you're really happy and energized in. Allow yourself space. Schedule in your lunch break, schedule in that 15-minute self-care pocket. Like just find little areas in your day where you can do something for you and once you put it in your calendar, I really want you to just stick with it, make it happen.
Speaker 1:I tried that so many times with like workouts with trainers and all of the things it has to be in my calendar for it to happen. I tried that so many times with like workouts with trainers and all of the things it has to be in my calendar for it to happen, and if it's not there it's not going to happen. Like that's just the truth. So I try to schedule these things in and I also look at if my week or my day feels really busy. I'm allowing my buffer tomorrow for there to be less things going on so that I can just breathe a little bit more, I can catch up on my energy and I can really start to prioritize what's best for me, because I know if I overdo it more than one day in a row, right, like if we're going hard for a week and we're coming into a busy season, obviously getting everything prepped for this event, I am prioritizing having space in my calendar maybe to sleep in or to have a little bit of break throughout the day or to be able to watch my favorite Netflix show.
Speaker 1:These simple pleasures are just as important as that next business meeting, as that next sponsorship opportunity, as that next person to talk to. You need to prioritize yourself because I'm not going to be able to stand on that stage at Speak Up and be my best self if I'm not allowing this room going forward. And I also try to look at my schedule, like at least the day before, so I know tomorrow where I got to place my energy and where I got to place my pockets before I'm like, oh yeah, I have this meeting at this time and this thing at this time and this podcast recording and this and this, and I can see my day and see where I need to schedule in some of that self-care. But if I were to wait until the morning of and open my calendar, I'm gonna panic because I'm gonna be like, oh crap, I didn't plan for any of this, and so that's why it's so important to focus on what it is that you need and then putting it in your calendar and maybe you can't put it in there today and and you can't put it in there tomorrow and next week is also looking a little crazy, but maybe three weeks from now you can start implementing some of these things into your life that are gonna help you to feel better and be able to do life bigger, like I truly do believe, as we start to take care of ourselves more, focus on these pieces that are gonna have that longevity in our life, those these pieces that are going to have that longevity in our life, those longevity in our businesses, that it's going to start to feel like we can actually keep going.
Speaker 1:I don't know about you, but I have experienced burnout many times and it's something I do not want to experience again, because that's almost like when you go to the doctor too late and you're just like you can't make it anymore. Burnout means you have to take time off, and not just a little bit of time anymore. Burnout means you have to take time off and not just a little bit of time, not a pocket of 15 minutes in the afternoon. It's going to be days, weeks, months sometimes, and if you can avoid that by doing some of these small things, it's really going to make a big impact on the longevity of your health, your business, your life, your family, all of the areas that are just so important to you that feel like you can't live without. You're going to need to be taking care of yourself first, and I know you've probably heard this stuff a million times. But are you actually doing it Like, can you pause this episode right now.
Speaker 1:Pull out your calendar and start doing some of these pieces, start scheduling a few things in Taking a little break, meal planning, just taking the action that you need. Whatever that is okay, taking that action right now. So we're going to wrap up today's episode and you're going to send me a message with what it is that you did today In order to make yourself feel a little better, or what you put in your calendar for two weeks from now. Okay, and I don't care if that's a full day thing or a 15 minute thing, but you deserve so much more than what you're giving yourself. Just the same as I do.
Speaker 1:I know, as I sit here on this busy day and I wrap this up so I can run to my next call, I know that I deserve taking that time and prioritizing what's best for me and for my family. So I hope you do the same, and maybe that means buying your ticket to speak up and getting in that room and giving me a big old hug, because I just can't wait to see you there. Like I really just can't wait. The countdown is on and I am just so excited. So, again, check out the show notes for all that information and send me a message.
Speaker 1:What is it that you're working on, that you're doing for yourself today, or maybe even two weeks from now? Okay, I'm just proud of you for doing something. I hope you have an amazing day and amazing week and I'll talk to you soon. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
