Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Cherishing Life's Simple Pleasures
Have you ever wondered how a simple keepsake could hold profound memories? Join me on a cozy morning chat as I sip coffee from my treasured pottery mug, reflecting on a life-changing retreat in Barbados. Together, we’ll explore the enchanting power of keepsakes and how they preserve the warmth and connections formed during special moments. We'll also embrace the slower pace of summer, cherishing its spontaneity and joy even as we transition back into our routines.
Imagine shifting your energy towards gratitude, no matter the challenges that life throws your way. In this episode, we’ll highlight the magic of focusing on the positive aspects of any situation. By emphasizing the beauty in everyday moments—whether it’s the joy of spending time with loved ones or simply enjoying the summer sunshine—we can elevate our mood and well-being. This mindset shift isn't just about surviving the tough times but thriving through them with grace and optimism, turning stress into moments of appreciation.
Don’t miss this heartfelt episode and remember to share it with friends, spreading the love and positivity far and wide.
Self(ish) Sisterhood ---> https://jessclerke.com/self-ish-sisterhood
Speak Up! ---> https://jessclerke.com/speak-up
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Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I am just chilling on the mic sipping my first cup of coffee in. I don't even know how many months.
Speaker 1:It's been a while since I've had a cup of coffee, probably since my last road trip, when I went out to Manitoba with my girlfriend a few months ago. And yep, coffee just hits different. It hits different especially after a long weekend. So if you're here in Canada and you're listening to this in live mode, whatever that means you're probably feeling it too. I don't often feel extra rested after a long weekend. I often feel more tired because there's more activities, there's more stuff going on. You know you want to get everything in. It's always a lot of fun. You're probably staying up later and you're probably eating some junk food and all the things. I just never feel that great after a long weekend. So I'm just gonna sip on some coffee and we're gonna hang out with you and have some real talk, because I think that's what we need today, and I am a person who has a wide range of pottery mug collectibles and things.
Speaker 1:I am a big fan of pottery. My parents own a gift shop and have been open for like 39 years. Something crazy. It's called Gift Glor, it's in Moncton, it's bright pink, so it's pretty much on brand with everything that I do, and I just have so many other beautiful pottery mugs. If you're into pottery, you got to go check it out.
Speaker 1:But today I'm sipping out of a cup, a pottery mug that I got at Earthworks Pottery on our recent trip to Barbados, and so we did an island tour on the retreat in Barbados and as we went through all the different spots, we spent probably about a half an hour or more looking at different pottery mugs and everybody wanted to have something that they could remember the trip by and I remember on the final evening telling everybody to come out with their wrapped pottery mug because they're all like well wrapped and secured, because we were traveling to all over different parts of North America and as that happened, I was like, just bring it out. You don't have to take it out of the packaging, just bring your mug to me. And they're like you're crazy, why it's all packed up. And you know everybody's questioning what I'm doing. But I just had this feeling of how powerful a reminder and a gift can be to bring us back into these moments that we really enjoy. So think about a really extra special day in your life, like maybe your wedding day, and you have something in your house that reminds you of that day, or the ring that you wear every single day or, if you're like me, once a week when you wear your ring. You just have a reminder of that really special day and having something like that can bring you right back into those emotions, right back into those feelings, into that warmth and into that love of a really special moment.
Speaker 1:And the Barbados retreat was a really special moment. We all had this beautiful time of clarity and space and warmth and love and understanding from strangers. Essentially Not everybody knew everyone at this retreat and you could feel love and warmth from strangers. And I think by the end of that retreat, none of us really wanted to go back to reality. We wanted to stay in that moment and I thought that if we could put some extra special magic back into this pottery, it's something that we could use as that keepsake when we are using our mug to feel the power of the retreat. So that is why I picked this mug today, because I need a little extra power today, and so I had everyone, like in a circle, put a little extra energy back into these mugs that we could feel that warmth and feel that love. And you might be listening to this and you're like Jess, that is super weird. Or you might be listening to this and be like, oh my gosh, I wish I was there and I wish I had one of these mugs, because I could use it right now too. I see you, I'm sending you some extra power and some extra warmth today, but there's just something about having a keepsake and having a memory that brings you right back there, like right now.
Speaker 1:As I'm sitting here talking to you, I can picture sitting on the patio at the retreat house, you know, with someone over there journaling and someone over there taking a nap or sunbathing or reading in their book or spending some time with themselves, and just knowing that this slow down season of summer can be a gift too. I know for some of us it can be really hard for the summer to be like totally off schedule and you know we're sleeping in and staying up late and we're eating junk food and all of the things. Right, I don't know about you. I can't say no to a s'more and I'm definitely not going to be going to bed early. If people are still up and doing a lot of things, right, it's like a kid, like in the summertime. You're just like I want to stay up and I want to have fun. Summer is a season when we're off our schedule. Summer is a season when things can look really different in our lives, and that can be a gift. Different can be a gift.
Speaker 1:So what is it about this season that you'd want to hold on to for the whole rest of the year? Is it the sleeping in? I know we don't always get to do that, but maybe once a week you can find a little pocket to do it? Is it just having no schedule? Are you a person who enjoys the flow of life? I am. I love extra flow and extra space and there to just not really be that strict structure. But maybe you're someone who likes a lot of structure in your life and maybe, with summer camps and different things going on, you feel that like structure, energy and you like that. So what is it about this season that feels really good and how could you take it into the rest of the year? Or what is a keepsake or a memory that you could keep on your desk or in your kitchen that could remind you to slow down a little bit and enjoy the season that you're in?
Speaker 1:And yeah, maybe you're like me and you're feeling a little extra tired after a long weekend with a lot going on. Maybe you went camping or you went around, you did something, and your energy is feeling a little low. But it's feeling low because you used it all up, hopefully on something that brought you a lot of joy. For me, there was a lot of joy this weekend. We got to celebrate one of my very good friend's birthdays. We, you know, made a sleepover slumber party in my living room and decorated everything we were able to watch Taylor Swift and we made a homemade rage room and it was just such a beautiful weekend to celebrate someone that we love and also to just enjoy meeting new people and getting out and having a cow's ice cream and just all of the fun things of summer squished into just a couple days. It's a good kind of tired. It's a tired of there's memories and love and and so much fun and all the things that summer is all about. It's like throwing everything out the window and just enjoying the moments, not remembering that we have a bedtime. I'm a 34 year old with a pretty strict bedtime, but summer is a really special time.
Speaker 1:So today's episode I really wanted to talk to you about being grateful for each season and what it brings in our lives. So summer is normally the one of like busyness and fun and flow and all of the things that can come that we typically enjoy, but also, for some of us, we might complain about. Right, there's always something to complain about in every season, and I wanted to talk to you today about focusing on those grateful pieces and on those gratitude pieces, because I could sit here on this mic and talk about how freaking tired I am. I'm so tired. I had to have a cup of coffee and it's. You know. I don't know when I'm going to be able to catch up on sleep again, right? Who's going to listen to that podcast episode is all I got to say. Not me for sure. I would have turned it off a long time ago.
Speaker 1:But we can focus on the things that we're grateful for in each season, like being able to spend more time with people that we love. People often travel to the city that I live in more often in the summer because there's a lot of things to do. There's activities this weekend, the Busker Festival is going on and the weather is typically really nice and the beach we live so close to the beach. So we get to spend a lot of time with people that we love in this season, and that's a gift. That's something to be truly grateful for.
Speaker 1:We could flip that the other way and be like, oh, I'm going to be so tired, there's people always around and I don't have any time to do the things I want to do, but that's not the right energy. That doesn't feel very good, right? So it's so beautiful to be able to focus on the grateful, the gratitude, the love that can come in each season. And I know there's people and I don't think it's the people who are listening to this podcast, because you know I am an optimist I am often seeing only the good, sometimes to my fault. Okay, I always think things are going to go so perfectly and so smooth and everything's going to be like butterflies and rainbows that when it doesn't, I'm not always prepared for it. But I don't think this is toxic positivity.
Speaker 1:To focus on the good, to focus on the grateful pieces of this season, I think it actually helps our frequency, it helps our energy, it helps us to have more energy when we're thinking about the things that are good. So when I'm focusing on the fact that, oh, like, my friends are in town and we get to do all these celebrations and you know I'm getting to be around the people that I love, what a beautiful season that is it really raises your vibration in a way that just gives you this new life and this new energy that we don't always get to see, because sometimes I don't know about you, but Monday to Friday the grind can bring you into that lower level of vibration because we're thinking about how tired we are and how much work we have to do and the kids have to go here and I have to drop that thing off here and work. I'm running late and oh, there's traffic, construction is everywhere, right, we think about all of these things that bring us down, that we don't get to sit in this higher vibration of gratitude and love and energy that could really shift our whole day and shift our whole perspective if we could sit in it a little bit more. And it's so funny because this summer has been hot, h-o-t. Okay, it's been hot. And for those of you who are listening, who are in like more southern states, you're like ha, jess, you're in Canada, it's not that hot. It's hot for us and I'm normally a person who loves the heat, but this summer it's just, it's been a lot. And it's funny when you say like oh, yeah, it's so hot, and someone instantly comes around and was like you know, snow is coming soon, so stop your complaining, right, it's that energy shift, like I can focus on the warmth and the sun being out and the energy that the sun brings, or it can focus on the fact that I am sweating 24, seven and you know I'm more tired. It reminds me of when we lived in Barbados and you're just like slow moving all the time. But if we were lean in the energy of again the sun brings life and everything's so green and it looks so nice here and with the sun being out, it means the water at the beach might be a little bit warmer and we can really lean into that positive energy.
Speaker 1:There are so many things about summer that we can love and if we can focus on those beautiful things, the things that are a little harder, the things that bring us a bit more discomfort, have less power right now. The same goes for every area of your life. It doesn't have to be a season. It could be a partnership, right. Your relationship that you're in a roommate, that you live with a family member there are beautiful things in every relationship. There's also really difficult things or things that are harder for us to see as fun or to see as optimistic, because they can put some weight on our shoulders right. But if we were to focus on the things about these relationships that are good, even if it's just like there's literally one thing right now, right, if we can focus on that one thing, it's going to raise the energy of that relationship up. It's going to raise our energy up and it's going to help us to feel more love, to have more energy and to just feel really good.
Speaker 1:So what is it in your life right now that's bringing you a little bit down? A little bit or a lot of it? And maybe, as soon as I said it, you're like I know what it is. It down a little bit or a lot of it? And maybe, as soon as I said that, you're like I know what it is. It's my boss at work they're always freaking, ragging on me. Or it's this baby that's crying all night. I love them, but damn, if only I could get a little bit of sleep. What's that one thing right now that's just taking you down a little bit of a level, making life really, really hard. Can we reframe it and focus on that one piece in that situation? That could be good.
Speaker 1:The fact that you have a job maybe that's something that we could focus on. There's money coming in what a gift, right. Or that you're doing something with purpose, right. Maybe you're up all night with your beautiful baby, but it's bringing purpose in your life, it's bringing you back to life. With babies comes energy. We always think about that negative piece of them being up all night and keeping us tired. But what if we focus on the energy that they do bring, the light and the love that they do bring? And if you're someone who really struggles to see the good and I know for some people this doesn't come natural I am really blessed that this comes easy and natural to me.
Speaker 1:And if you're listening to this and maybe you're a bit more pessimistic and it's harder for you to see the good, just make a list, like keep a notes on your phone of like good things in my day or good things in my week, and as good things happen, maybe you find a penny on the ground and it's face up and you're like good luck, that was some good luck, that's some good energy. Write that in the note section on your phone and at the end of the week you can see the good things that have happened. You can start to see these little beautiful moments throughout your week. These small things add up, just like the energy of this mug in my hands today. I don't think I could have sat down and recorded this episode had I not had that little extra magic in my cup today, had I not had that little extra boost and that reminder of the beauty of the waves and the parakeets and the turtles, and just the beauty of Barbados and the people that I was with for that beautiful week.
Speaker 1:And we can't always be on vacation, we can't always be having these big, beautiful moments, so if we can start to collect the small ones. I often feel this when I always feel like a weirdo when I'm talking. But you know what? I am going to be authentically me, I'm going to be truly me and I know you listen to this because I am, and so maybe you don't think I'm weird, but sometimes the things that come out of my mouth, I'm like ah, that's a little weird, jess. But when I see a bird, like an eagle flying in the sky or a blue jay just flying around close by pretty much any bird except for the crows I'm not a huge fan of them and I hear them squawking outside right now or the little robin eggs that we have outside we have a robin who who made a nest on our deck and just even seeing those little things, those little things, can light me up. It's a small moment and there's like I could just feel magic in the eagle flying across the sky. I like to take note of that. I like to remember where, even the other day, when I was driving home as you can tell, I'm very big into animals like seeing a deer, like seeing a deer. It was like midnight when I was driving home the other night and I saw a deer on the side of the road and it was just like so magical to see that. Those little moments for me can bring that energy back.
Speaker 1:So what are those things? For you, it doesn't have to be animals, it doesn't have to be birds in the sky, because that is a little weird. Sure. For you, maybe it's your garden, right. Or when you drive by someone's house and they have this like beautiful full bloom rhododendron or something like these beautiful flowers or just a tree that you love so much. Like maybe there's just these small things and you see that tree every day when you're driving to work and it brings a smile on your face, your face. Or maybe it's your kids playing in the yard and you don't have to do anything. You can just sit back and drink your cup of coffee and watch your kids play in the yard all together and they're not fighting, and you're just like, yeah, this is a moment of beauty.
Speaker 1:These moments of beauties are things that we could be writing down to just remind us, because it's not always going to be that way. It's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies and sunshine. Sometimes it's going to be our kids are fighting. Sometimes, unfortunately, maybe the animal that I'm seeing isn't in the best condition, right, or the tree that we love so much isn't, you know, died right.
Speaker 1:Things can happen. It's not always going to be beautiful. Life can't be like that. It has to have highs and lows. But when we are in those lows, we need to remember that the highs are possible too. The beauty and the love is possible too. So if we can lean into that or have a note section on our phone that can remind us that there was beauty once there because, depending on how long it is, the darkness and the low can feel really long If we are lacking beauty in our life or lacking seeing the good for a long time, it's harder to get out of it. So, having something that can remind us a quick note section on the phone hey, I saw a blue jade today and it was really cool. Or you know, I was walking down the street and I found a dollar bill on the ground. Like, how cool is that? Like these little things can add up and we can use them as reminders in our dark seasons like winter, long winters here in Canada.
Speaker 1:I promise anybody who's coming to speak up a lot, lot of my like, especially Southern American friends who are coming. They're like, do I need to pack a jacket? Like, is it going to be cold? This year's speak up is October 5th and 6th. Okay, like, I promise you we are going to have great weather. It is not going to be cold. It might be a little chilly if you're doing the VIP cruise, like you might want a sweater maybe, but honestly, october, especially early October here, is stunning. So don't worry, it's not going to be cold. But I'm talking January, february.
Speaker 1:Winters can be long here, these moments of the summer that we love so much, like people being around and getting to have s'mores and cake and, you know, being able to go on boats and have a fun evening out with your friends. Those memories can feel far away when we are in the dark of winter and sun is setting at 5 pm and there's snow on the ground and it's cold and all of the things right. It can feel so far away, but being able to look back on my phone and see the memories that summer was it can help it to feel so much closer. It can help to raise my vibration, to just feel a little better, a little stronger, a little more energized. Your photos on your phone can also help with that too.
Speaker 1:So if you're a person who's more visual and you don't necessarily want to write out a list in the notes section, take photos of things. If you have a tree that you love or whatever, okay, if there's something that you love that's in the season that you're in right now that brings you joy every single day, take a photo of it, and it could be the silliest thing, like the nail polish you have on your fingers, or, and you're just like, why am I taking a photo of this? Or just something. It might just feel really weird. Do it anyway and maybe keep it in a favorite section on your phone so that when you are having these harder and darker seasons you can just go and look through your photos, like even the other day I was looking at photos of Glenn's and my California trip a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1:I don't think I often look back on those photos at all. I don't even think I posted those photos right and they're just there hanging out for when I need a reminder of a little bit of sunshine, a little bit of Disney, a little bit of all the things that feel good for me and help to boost me back up. Find the way for you that this feels good. If you're a writer and you want to journal it out and you love to look back on your journal entries, I'm the type of person who, once it's out on paper, like I'm never looking at it again, unless I write a book someday and I need to like look back on these things. I'm probably never gonna look at it again, but for you maybe you're someone who likes to review those and go back to them then use your journal Right. Use the things for you that are gonna help you to remind you of the good times when the dark seasons are there. Because the dark seasons are gonna come.
Speaker 1:The the light seasons are also going to come, right, if you're in a dark season right now, just because it's summer doesn't mean we're all immune to there not being any darkness. If you're in a dark season right now, know the light is coming, know the good days are coming, there is beauty, and if you're struggling to see it, send me a message. I'm happy to chat things out with you and help you to find one thing that might raise that vibration a little bit, that might raise that energy just a little bit more, so that you can feel a little better in these dark seasons. And I know I've talked about this a few times. But if you're someone who doesn't have those light friends around you, the people who are going to help you to pull you out, or who are going to help you to just even cope in seasons that might be hard, then I want you to look into the Selfish Sisterhood. Our doors are open right now.
Speaker 1:This is a community of women who are just absolutely incredible. As I'm recording this right now, I'm on morning club with them, hanging out and just holding myself accountable to get the things done that I need to get done in my life, or to just have good people around me, because it can be really lonely when you're an entrepreneur and you work from home and it's just you most of the time, okay. So it's so important to have the right people around you and along with the Morning Club, we also have monthly workshops. I'm hosting the workshop this month, talking all about seasons of change and how to navigate those, like we've talked about on this podcast, but really giving you tools that can help you to see what season you might need a little extra support and a little extra love in no-transcript with really strong, beautiful people. This is the place for you and I'll put all the information in the show notes. It's only open for a few more days, so I hope you're listening to this in real time. If not, get on the wait list so that you can get on it when the doors open next time.
Speaker 1:We also have Speak Up happening in the fall. If you're more of an in-person, like you want to meet people in person. I have met most of the people who are in the sisterhood and maybe even like a lot of people in my life at events like this, at you know personal development spaces, and it's not about walking away with feeling like a new version of know personal development spaces, and it's not about walking away with feeling like a new version of you, whatever that means. Speak up is all about you connecting with the people in your life that you know are going to help you to take that next step, are going to help you to see the light when things are difficult, and it's about making your new BFF. Of course, we have amazing speakers lined up. We have an amazing Shining Sisters panel that's going to help you to see and relate to stories and things that have happened in their life and how you can, you know, maybe take a step up in yours. But also it's going to be a place of like VIP night for you to come and connect with other women and make genuine friendships, like this whole weekend is created for you to make genuine friendships, so not only to boost yourself up, but to find those people around you that are going to help that boost to feel really freaking good. So I am so excited for that, so I'll put the information for Speak Up in the show notes too.
Speaker 1:If you need a little bit of love in person, and if you are in a dark season and you're just like I can't do any of these things. It's too much. I can barely get out of bed right now. I see you, I love you. You can send me a message anytime. If any of this is too much and you just need a little like hey, I just want to be seen for a second, just want to send you a message, by all means. You know my DMS are open. You can send me a message anytime and I'd be happy to see you and to love on you for a little bit. So I hope you are having a wonderful day and a wonderful week.
Speaker 1:Happy whatever day you're listening to this on, but if you're listening to it, live happy Monday, and I'm sending you all the power and the strength to enjoy a little bit more summer this year as we walk into August. How wild is that? I'll talk to you soon. I hope you have an awesome week. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
