Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Staying true to YOU on your Summer schedule
Ever felt like summer's heat was just too much to handle? I sure have, and on this episode of Selfish Confidence, I open up about my personal struggles with maintaining self-care during these demanding months. We'll explore why it's crucial to be kinder to ourselves, especially when the temperature rises. We’ll also talk about the upcoming Speak Up event, a space designed to help you overcome fears and embrace your authentic self. Whether you’re making small self-care adjustments or taking giant leaps to connect with like-minded individuals, this conversation is all about prioritizing your needs and finding community support.
For those who thrive on routine, summer can be a whirlwind of stress with its unstructured nature. But don't worry, I've got you covered with practical tips to balance structure and flexibility. By setting achievable goals such as staying hydrated and taking short walks, you can rebuild your self-trust and ensure your well-being remains a priority. We'll also dive into the power of self-trust and authenticity, encouraging you to make decisions that align with your values. So get ready to embrace your true self, even if it means trying unconventional things, and let’s get excited about connecting at the upcoming Speak Up event!
Get your VIP or General Admission Speak Up! Ticket here --> https://jessclerke.com/speak-up
Connect about Sponsorship Opportunities --> email jess@jessclerke.com
Looking to connect about Affiliate Opportunities? Email Jess at jess@jessclerke.com
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and I did not think I was going to have the energy in me to sit down and record this. I don't know if it's the heat wave or what's going on, but there, I just haven't been feeling the best this week and I really do think part of it is the heat. And if you are, if you live locally to where I am and actually most of North America right now, we are in like the thick of summer, being July, it's hot out there, it's hot out there and we just got to do what we can to survive. So I decided to be a little kinder to myself, take a little step back and allow there to be space for me to take care of myself. Before creating, before producing, I used to be the type of person who had to do this so perfectly and so strategically, and you may notice it's not perfect anymore and that really has come from me taking myself, you know, more seriously, taking my health and my priorities more seriously and putting other things sometimes this podcast on the back burner. Not everything can be number one in every season. We've talked about seasons on here before. I'm in a season where I need to prioritize myself, prioritize, rest and be a little kinder to myself. In this season.
Speaker 1:I know for a lot of you listening in, your kids are home from summer vacation. Maybe work looks different right now because it's the summertime, maybe it's busier, maybe it's a little calmer. We all have a lot going on in this season, but it's so important that you prioritize your needs above it all. Right, and this could be as simple as like small acts. I'm not saying you have to take a day off work or like take the whole summer off work, even though that'd be great, right, maybe it just means making sure you get your water in today or finding a nice shop with some AC and cooling down for a little bit before you have to go back out to the hot car.
Speaker 1:Okay, do these little things for yourself, for your mental health, for your physical health. I promise you it is going to go a long way and that's what I've been trying to do as much as I can lately, but, most importantly this week in this heat wave, prioritizing getting my water in doing what I need. I've been eating a lot of watermelon. Okay, watermelon. Glenn picked out the perfect watermelon this week and I promise you like there's nothing better than watermelon on these hot days. So this is just your friendly reminder. It's not what today's podcast episode is about, but if you need a little break and maybe it lets someone down, it's okay. Take the break, do what you need, because you're going to come back stronger. You're going to come back feeling better, and I honestly did not think I was going to have the energy for this, but I'm feeling freaking good. You know, a little cup of ice cream tea can go a long way is all I got to say. But today I want to talk to you about a couple of things. Obviously, first and foremost, being kind to yourself in this season, and whatever season you're in, if it's a busier season because the kids are home, or a calmer season because things slow down and people take time off in the summer, do what you need.
Speaker 1:But before I get into the juice that I've been really thinking about a lot lately, I wanted to talk about Speak Up. Maybe you're like Jess you haven't talked about Speak Up in a while. What's going on? How are things going? I am so excited. So we have announced all of our speakers. We've announced our sister panel, which is so exciting. We also announced our MC and our DJ, and everything is just lining up so beautifully. It seems like every other day I have a call with a sponsor who's either putting something in the swag bags or, you know, promoting their biz with some monetary sponsorships, which has been so helpful, and everything is just coming together, coming together, except you haven't got your ticket yet, except you listening. Maybe you're like I want to go and this sounds so fun, but I haven't taken the plunge to jump in, to dive in and get my ticket. I get it.
Speaker 1:It can be scary to go to events like this. I go to events like this all over North America. I travel really far typically to go to something like this, and the fact that it's here in Nova Scotia is so beautiful and something that we just don't really typically have here. We used to have it before the pandemic and you know, events have changed and networking events and community events have changed and this is not your typical corporate girlies coming together entrepreneurs. This is all about you finding your people and those people being like those weird people that you just like totally click with. It's not about who has the best dress and the best suits and all of the things. It's about you coming and being 100% yourself.
Speaker 1:And the other day and I'll do this on my stories as well I asked some people for a few questions like what are your questions about? Speak Up? Like what's holding you back from coming to this event and it came up a couple times the fear of having to be vulnerable, the fear of having to use your voice and to step into this version of you. It can be really scary, right, but there's no pressure at this event to either speak up, to use your voice at all. You could be in the corner and not say a word the whole time and you would still be welcomed and loved and be valid in this space.
Speaker 1:You are just supposed to come exactly as you are and maybe there's a version of you that you want to step into. Maybe you'll get there, maybe you won't, and that's okay too, but what's really special about this space is, whatever you need, it's going to be provided for you. There are going to be people there to love on you and to support you, to cry with you if you need to not saying you have to cry, but there's opportunity for you to be vulnerable. There's opportunity for you to also stay quiet, but it's going to be whatever. It is that you need, and I have planned strategically the whole space for you to be able to connect with the people that you need to connect with in this room, because my number one goal is for you to walk out of this room with a new BFF, more than anything else.
Speaker 1:You know I know a lot of people come to these for business tips and of course, there'll be some, but you don't have to be a business owner to come. This is for everyone. This is for my teachers, for my stay-at-home moms, for my nurses, for anyone who's listening to this, for women who need community around them. You don't have to have a title or a business or to be some level of some fancy network marketing business to come and be a part of this. All you have to be is you, and I think that's what's like the most special thing about this event is that you could come in your sweatpants and be welcomed and loved not only from me, but from the community. Who's going to be there, and I can say that like 100% certainty because I know all the people who are going to be there. Every time someone gets a ticket, I'm like, oh my gosh, that person's coming. That's going to be so much fun and I promise you, if you take the upgrade and go to the VIP, it is going to be the most beautiful evening for us to enjoy a sunset cruise.
Speaker 1:So just to give you a little background, and then I'll kind of wrap things up, because there is something really special I want to talk to you about today. I'm just so fired up and excited because it's been a great week for this event. But we have, if you're in the sisterhood, on Saturday October 5th we have our sisterhood lunch. So it's just exclusively for the sisters who are coming in and they want to meet each other before the event. We're going to do this really special lunch for anyone in the selfish sisterhood to be able to meet before we even go to the VIP night, because then that Saturday night is our VIP night, from five to seven. That's for my girlies, who need a little extra sleep before the full day. Okay, that's me. So it is a little bit of an earlier evening a cocktail cruise. There'll be some snackies, we got our DJ. It is just going to be such a beautiful, fun evening for us to get on the water and get to know people before the event even happens.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to set all these things up so that on the day of the event you know someone to sit with. So if you're coming alone, I highly suggest coming to the VIP night beforehand because you will for sure make friends that you can connect with on the day of event. And even if you're like, no, I'm just going to do general admission, I'm just going to come for the day, I promise you you're still going to make friends. It's just going to be a little easier when you walk into the room and you already know and you're like, oh, what's up, girl, we want to sit together. Hey, um, and that just I find that to be so helpful at these events. And so then we'll have the full day event on the sixth and we'll have amazing lineup of speakers.
Speaker 1:It is going to be a jam-packed, busy day, but I'm allowing there to be space for my projector girlies who are listening to this and you're like, okay, human design world. You're like this is a lot. It's going to be a lot, but I'm making it really spacious for you to be able to connect with others and also have some time to connect with yourself. It's going to be a busy day, but it's also going to be just a really beautiful, spacious day and whatever you need to do if you need to take a break and step out, or you want to check out the booths, or you want to just have a minute with someone to chat on the outside before lunch, you can do that. There is no like ah, it has to be like this. I think that's the really beautiful thing about a projector planning these events is that we have it laid out for whatever you need, because we know everyone's unique and everyone's different and we need different things. So I'm so excited for this weekend.
Speaker 1:If you haven't got your ticket, yet I will put all the information in the show notes for you to be able to do that. We are also still looking for sponsors for swag bags and also for biz promotions, for monetary sponsorships, so I do have a couple packages for that. If you're listening to this and you're like you know what, it'd be super cool to partner with this event and be a part of it. Or, oh, I know who you should put in the swag bags, or I know who you should connect with. Please send me a message so that we can chat, because I really want this event to be so focused on women owned businesses and really getting their message out there too, because that's what this is all about. It's all about connecting and community, and we can only do that by all coming together and making this a really beautiful event. So if you know anyone or you yourself would love to sponsor this event, please connect with me, send me a message.
Speaker 1:I'll also put my email in the show notes so you can just pop me an email real quick and be like oh, jess, let's set up a time to chat. And then we're also setting up affiliates for people to be able to earn some money with their ticket sales, and if that's something that interests you, I'll also put that in the show notes so that you can make some money and also have a promo code to share with people about this event. So if you have a friend that you're like, oh you should totally come to this event. I have this code, it'll get you some money off. It'll help me to earn some money too. Let's partner on this and make this happen. I know exactly what you need with the affiliate, so I'll put all the information in the show notes for you as well.
Speaker 1:I will stop talking about speak up, but just know you're going to want to be there A hundred percent, like you're going to want to be there. And if you're not there this year, I know you're going to want to be there. And if you're not there this year, I know you're going to see the videos and you're going to have FOMO. And then you're gonna be like I need to get my ticket for next year because 2025 is also happening. We have the date locked in, but you're going to want to be there this year for sure.
Speaker 1:So let's get into the meat about what's been on my mind and this came up in our sisterhood chat. So in our selfish sisterhood, a couple times a month we have something called the sisterhood chat and I have a few questions or a few things that'll like spark the conversation, but really it's an opportunity for you to come and talk about, like absolutely anything, anything that's on your mind, anything that you want to share that you've been celebrating all of the things. And what I noticed this week as a theme that came up in a lot of people again was that series of being kind to yourself and, you know, adjusting to new schedules with the summer and maybe you're like, yeah, I see you, I feel you, I know what's going on. This season can be hard for that, because I feel like when it comes to the summer, we often do tend to slow down. It might speed up a little with sports and activities and travel and all of those things, but this is typically a season that we throw our schedules out the window and we really step into bare feet, sandy bums and just enjoying summer.
Speaker 1:But there can be some stress. That happens especially to my people who are very organized and maybe you know me by now I'm not the most organized when it comes to this stuff, but for my people who love a good schedule, who love dropping the kids off at the same time every day, eating lunch at the same time every day and really just kind of like having this great flow that works for them. This is a season that can be really hard because those schedules go out the window and maybe it takes some time for you to adjust and if that is, you take all the time you need Work on that adjustment piece, because it is not easy. But there is something really beautiful about stepping into the flow and enjoying the sunny months that for us up here in Canada don't always get for a long period of time Like we get like three months of really good weather. July, august, september is like our jam and it's so important for us to enjoy that time because we also have winter coming and I know we're going to have some complaints about that too. So if that's you this week and you're just like I do not know what day it is, what's going on, this is so hard.
Speaker 1:I really enjoy good structure. Where can you give yourself a little bit of flow and where can you give yourself a little bit more structure? It's not an all or nothing here when it comes to the summer, can you have a little bit of both. Maybe you have more structure in the morning and you get all of your work done, your activities done from like 9 to 12, and the afternoon can have a little bit more flow. Again, it's not an all or nothing. Do what it is that you need to do, but be kind to yourself in the process.
Speaker 1:If you are, you know, being a little more harsh in this season because things aren't getting done like you normally would, you know your schedule isn't as structured as it normally is. Work isn't happening as much as it is because kids are home and life is happening. This is the season to double down on that kindness, to double down on that self-care, to make sure that you're doing the things that you need to do in order to feel your best this season and allowing there to be some space for flow. I am team flow all the time. It doesn't always work out the best, because we do need that structure too, but do what it is that you need to do.
Speaker 1:Maybe take a moment right now. If you're driving or you're at the store listening to this, you can do this later, but just put your hand on your heart and think like, what do I need today? Going inward is the best thing that you can do and we can overthink so much. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, overthinking about that a lot lately, and from a human design perspective, and I go. This is not a human design podcast, but if you're into human design and you know, you have that open crown center, that top center open. We overthink a lot and we think that everybody else knows the answer.
Speaker 1:Maybe you're coming to this podcast because you think I know the answer or I know what's going to be best for you in this season. I don't All we can do is take what people teach us, take what people share with us and make it our own. Take it how we need to take it, because you have all the answers, you know what you need and if you're feeling overwhelmed and you're feeling stressed in the season, you know what it is that you need to do. You want to slap me when I say that, because I hate when people tell me that when I'm looking for advice, okay, but especially for my people who have those open crown centers, we always think everyone on the outside knows better than us. I have it too. So I know this. But you know what's best and you know what you need. You know what your family needs, and it's so important for you to just double down on that by going inward and figuring those things out and stepping into the version of you this summer. That is going to just light up the really freaking world, right? If you're always looking for advice or you're always looking for another podcast to teach you something, what can you teach yourself and how can you start trusting yourself a little bit more in this season to know what's best for you?
Speaker 1:And I wanted to share a couple things with you today that I have found really helpful in teaching my body how to trust myself again, because, again, when we start to look for things, always on the outside, it's hard to even believe that we're good enough to know that we know best right, when in reality, you do. So, when it comes to starting to trust yourself again, there's a couple things you can do. I often start with like really small things. I will tell my body, you know what, like I'm gonna drink the water that I need to drink today, like I'm gonna do the things for myself that I need to do, and that starts with getting my water in, and then maybe you go all day and you don't drink a glass of water. Your body's not gonna trust you. They're gonna say like, hey, you said you were gonna drink water and you didn't.
Speaker 1:The best thing you can do is with those small things, actually showing up for yourself. Maybe it's promising yourself tomorrow that you were gonna go for a walk with the dog and then life got busy or it got really hot and you don't want to go anymore. Just show up for yourself in small ways. Right, take like a five minute walk, a 10 minute, whatever it is that you need, until you get overheated and you want to turn around. You come back home, okay, but you're going to go and you're going to show your body that it can trust. It can trust you. It can trust when you say you're going to do something, that you're going to do something. Those small things go a really long way. And if some of these promises that you make to yourself can be too big because sometimes they are okay I'm like I'm going to do 75 hard, like I did that one a couple times and I never finished it, okay. But if you're starting to tell yourself big things go back to something really small hey, I'm going to eat breakfast tomorrow morning before I have my cup of coffee and then do that. Your body is going to start to trust you again, and the other way to start doing this is to find someone who's going to hold you accountable for this.
Speaker 1:That's what the sisterhood is really helpful in is having that accountability person that can be like you know what I've been wanting to get moving a little bit more. We just had our goal setting call last week and some of the goals were things like making sure we're getting our water in, you know, having a little bit more flow in our life and, you know, a little less rigidity with our schedules, or moving our body more, or having some time every day to work on our business these things. Sometimes we need that little extra accountability, especially in the summer, when things can be a little extra flowy. For my flowy people like me, we need that accountability. So have someone that you can lean on, that you can talk to, and maybe it's me. I have a very good girlfriend of mine who texts me once a week and she's like hey, I got this done, I got this done, I got this done, and it is so awesome to have that because it makes me think, oh right, what about that thing that I said I was going to do? Right, I should do that too, and it makes a really big difference to have someone to check in with.
Speaker 1:And the next thing that really makes a big difference in these seasons is how we talk to ourselves. It's that mind peace. If we're always looking for answers on the outside, how can we start to have some answers on the inside, asking ourself questions? And you're going to be like that's weird, jess talking to yourself. No, I bet if you listen to this podcast, you're going to be like that's weird, jess talking to yourself. No, I bet, if you listen to this podcast, you're a person who talks to yourself. I know it because I do.
Speaker 1:These conversations that you can have in your head can help you to really step into starting to trust yourself again. When you ask yourself a question and you hear something, go with it, follow it, know that it's a good idea. You don't always have to ask someone like, hey, do you think this is a good idea? You don't always have to lean on someone else and be like, hey, what do you think about my outfit. Maybe you can look in the mirror and you're like no one, I look pretty good. This is a really nice outfit, super cute.
Speaker 1:And just starting to trust that and listening to the voice in your head that tells you that you're enough, that you're doing enough. And if you don't have that voice, we need to repro her, we need to bring her back, because that voice makes a huge difference in you starting to trust yourself again. When that other voice you know the one I'm talking about, that inner mean girl that comes in and tells you like hey, no, that doesn't look good, you suck. You should ask someone your second opinion because your opinion sucks. We're going to shift that and remind ourselves that we know what's best for us.
Speaker 1:And I know this takes time. Like this stuff does not happen overnight. It's not something that tomorrow you can wake up and be like okay, I trust myself again, I'm going to be kind to myself, I'm going to go inward, I'm going to know I have the answers and I'm really going to start to step into my power a little bit more. No, that's not how this works. It's something that takes time. There's a reason I did a year of confidence.
Speaker 1:This stuff takes time. It takes reprogramming, it takes deconditioning of some of the things that we have been taught our whole lives right by society, by our family, by anything, maybe even by ourselves. It takes time for us to get out of these patterns and step into it. So if you're stepping into the summer and you need a transition period, that's okay. It's okay.
Speaker 1:But I just want to make sure that you're doing what's best for you this season and you're not letting what you see on social media or what your mom told you to do or how your sister does things with her kids, that you are doing what's best for you, not because of somebody else told you to do it. And the more that you can start to trust yourself and step into that, the better you're going to feel, the more aligned you're going to feel and you're just. It's just going to be like this biggest badass move that you could ever do for yourself. Even if it doesn't feel like it, even if you think the best thing for yourself is to like let your kids run around naked and be wild in the woods, I think that sounds pretty fun. Okay, trust that, let it happen, try it out, see if it works for you and if it does awesome and if it doesn't.
Speaker 1:Ask yourself, what can I do now? Instead, how can I try this differently? What sounds fun to me, and really stepping into that a little bit more? I love you so much and I can't wait to see you at Speak Up. I can't wait to just give you the biggest hug and really celebrate you trusting yourself, stepping into your power and becoming you. And I don't even want to say the best version of you, because I think you, exactly as you are, is the greatest gift, 100% the greatest gift. I want you to come exactly as you are, maybe even in the clothes you're wearing right now. And if you're in your pajamas sweet, can't freaking wait that means I can wear my pajamas too.
Speaker 1:So I will put all the information about sponsorships, about affiliates, about the link to get your tickets in the show notes. But just trust yourself If you're having this feeling in your tummy right now and you're just like I need to be in that room, I want to be there, I want to meet my people, I want you to get your ticket and I want you to be there because I can't freaking wait to see you. I love you so much and we'll talk to you soon. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
