Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Navigating IVF with hope and resilience w/ Lisa White
Ever wondered how to stay resilient when facing fertility challenges? Lisa White shares her deeply personal journey through IVF, tackling male factor issues, surgeries, and the emotional highs and lows that come with the quest for motherhood. From the heartbreak of unsuccessful attempts to the overwhelming joy of finally having a daughter, Lisa’s story is a testament to the power of hope and perseverance.
Join us as we navigate the complexities of IVF, discussing practical tips and emotional strategies for maintaining a balanced mindset. Learn about the importance of acceptance, staying present, and balancing control with letting go. Hear Lisa's invaluable insights on the IVF timeline, the significance of maintaining a receptive state, and how adopting a soulful approach can ease the stress of the medically intensive process.
Connect with Lisa:
Website: https://ivfmanifestingamiracle.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/ivf.manifesting.a.miracle/
Book: https://ivfmanifestingamiracle.com/holdonbaby
Podcast: https://ivfmanifestingamiracle.com/soulful-ivf
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
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My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started.
Speaker 1:Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and today is an extra fun day because I have someone coming on to talk about something that, personally, I don't have any experience with, and I think that that's an extra special way to bring more voices into this platform and into this world that are helping to share their story and to share what they've gone through, because if you only hear from one voice, like what are we really going to learn, right? So I am so excited to have my very good friend, lisa White, here. How you doing Lisa.
Speaker 2:Hi, this is amazing.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me, I'm so excited Ever since we recorded for Lisa's podcast. Last week we were hanging out there, I'm like, waiting for us to be able to spend some time together again and to learn more about you and your story and what you've been through to get you to here. So how about you tell us a little bit about you, lisa? And how your story got started on this journey that you're on right now. I know Big question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, big question. I mean never expected to be talking about fertility and being on podcasts and, having created a podcast myself, it's just an unexpected ride that I'm really grateful for. We had challenges getting pregnant, my husband and I and I always wanted to be a mom. I'm based here in Colorado and motherhood I thought would just kind of come easily. Like many of us, we think we're going to get pregnant boom like that. Well, for many and the statistic is one in six individuals or couples are going through fertility challenges and it's just not something that's often talked about. But I'm grateful more people are starting to open up and talk about it and this challenge that we went through.
Speaker 2:We had some male factor issues and I had a couple of things surgically that I had to have done too, as we were like discovering all of the challenges with you know why weren't we getting pregnant and just navigated this road which led us to IVF and in vitro fertilization, for those who may be not aware of that.
Speaker 2:But I I embraced this ride and I took a really different kind of approach and a different mindset that really supported me, and we had a lot of setbacks and I'm happy to go into you know details about our story, but with one healthy embryo that's our daughter now, and what a blessing I mean. Through all that we went through, I knew that I had to be a voice and step into this space to show others what's possible, to help be a light in this dark space. And you know, show, show a different approach. I always say it's like IVF, done differently. And yeah, I'm here, so here to share my story and be open and be a space that is welcoming and just offer support to others who are struggling on this path.
Speaker 1:And I love so much what you do in sharing your story and amplifying your voice in this way, because I don't think a lot of people talk about this, especially the statistic being one in six. Like, I really don't think we're aware of this and, honestly, I didn't even think about hormones, fertility or any of those things until I turned 30. And I didn't even realize that there are things like that come to play and I it's just so surprising that we're just not talking about this stuff more. So, lisa, can you give us a little bit more into your story, like tell us a little bit about where it started? And then, obviously now your beautiful daughter, who is here, who's six years old. How has that journey been for you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, when you embark on this path, it's just this whole world of unknown life, right, when you go through treatments and testing and you find out, you get your AMH tested and your FSH and there's all these like abbreviations and IVF stands for, like I said, in vitro fertilization, and it's like this unconventional way, as you and I've connected, of calling it a baby. I mean, we needed this to try to successfully have a biological child. And my path, we had a lot of setbacks and I always say let go of a timeline as soon as you are embarking on this path and you don't know what curveballs are going to come your way, and I'll share a few of them with you. So we began testing. I knew I had to have some polyps taken out in my uterus and with male factor, you know, they had to basically take my eggs, my husband's sperm, put them together and that's how you create embryos once fertilization happens, and then, once the embryos are created and we did do genetic testing to see if they're genetically healthy then they are transferred back into you. Well, that process took, I mean, we had a whole year of waiting and surgeries, so in January of let me think about that In the fall of like 15, we started doing treatments and early 16, I had let's see how did that go.
Speaker 2:I had my first egg retrieval. We got four. After they combined my eggs, his sperm, we got four embryos. We genetically tested them and none were healthy, None were genetically healthy. It's crushing when you take all these hormones and shots and do the shots, the medications, and your body goes through so much and you just have so much hope for these potentials, these potential embryos, you know, that are created, that you you work so hard to create, and it was devastating. We went through another round of an egg retrieval and got three embryos and only one of those was genetically healthy. One embryo and we kind of didn't listen to. Our first doctor left the practice in the middle of my cycle and I'll get to that but it was like they were recommending oh, bank more embryos, bank more. We didn't do that. We held onto the one and we just moved forward.
Speaker 2:I was 30, about 38 at this time, so I met my husband later in life, at 35. My husband was early mid forties, so we were older and I'm glad we did genetic testing to find out that we had a genetically healthy embryo that was holding on for us, so proceeded, had the polyp surgery, waited three months for healing, found out I had scar tissue that had formed. So it's like you want to optimize everything in your uterus before an embryo transfer happens. And a lot of waiting. This whole process is waiting and waiting and waiting. And to endure that, how do you endure that Feeling whole feeling kind of at peace, feeling lit up, living your life Like it's just that's the game? And so polyp surgery, scar tissue surgery my doctor left the practice, got a new doctor. I had a canceled embryo transfer. They found some blood in my uterus which halted everything. Don't know why, but again, I believe that these can be unexpected blessings. They found out that I had fibroids that had formed, so fibroids, had fibroid surgery, and that was all of 2016.
Speaker 2:January of 2017, we had our one transfer with our one embryo, not knowing boy or girl. It was the most magical day this little dot, this little ball of light, this all your hope and dreams in this one little cluster of cells, which I still have a picture of and I see daily in my, in my room. And it took you endure the two week wait. You, that two week wait is when you're waiting to see if this embryo is implanting, growing, and then you get the call. And I got the call that I was pregnant and my numbers were really high and it was just like I was over the moon and you're still not like over the finish line.
Speaker 2:When that happens, there's so many stories and clients and people I work with that you know where loss can happen at any point, at any time, and we were very fortunate that our embryo kept growing and she's now like six and a half, so it's incredible. I'm so grateful. Yeah, I mean, that's our story in a nutshell, but I write all about it in the book that I never expected to write a book about our story, but hold on baby, Hold on baby. It's our story and it's a soulful guide to help you navigate and ride the ups and downs of infertility and IVF. That I wrote in 2019, when my daughter was not even two years old, and I'm so proud of it. It came out in 2020. So it just celebrated its four-year anniversary this past Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:Wow Wild.
Speaker 2:Wild, and what a time for us to be recording this around Mother's Day.
Speaker 1:Wow, wild, wild, and what a time for us to be recording this around Mother's Day too. I just think it's such a beautiful time to even think about this journey that you've been on and for you to hold on like that long and that hard for this one special little being. She must be obviously quite incredible.
Speaker 2:She's. She is I mean, of course I'm biased, right she's just so connected and I'll share some things that I was doing to to build in that connection, cause it's like this, wondering right and waiting, and I was writing letters to our embryo before even knowing who they were going to. You know who they are Like. I just wanted to create that connection and that energy of like I'm holding on for you, like I wanted to create this warm, welcoming environment of love and I believe in the energetics on this path. It's just not really talked about enough and you know there were so much other personal challenges I was going through at the time of going through IVF.
Speaker 2:My mom's health was also declining and she had a longstanding respiratory condition that really it was one of the hardest times in my life to navigate, both holding on letting go, holding on for hope that I'd be a mom that she'd get to meet her only grandchild. Holding on for hope. I was hoping. Would she make it to my wedding? She did. Would she make it to, you know, announcing that we're pregnant? She did. Would she now be there for her? The birth? You know she got to experience all that and sadly she did pass just before my daughter's first birthday, but there's such a strong connection with her, my daughter, all of us, you know, and I'm Hmm it's, it's bittersweet, you know, it's like she's with us. She's always there, guiding us and navigating. That challenging time was like it tested me in some big ways, and going through fertility challenges is hard enough and then you're going through, like you know, the loss of your own mom like really changes you.
Speaker 1:So and how do you this could be a big question and you're going to maybe slap me in the face Like how do you hold on to hope when everything is so hard? Over and over and over again?
Speaker 2:thing is so hard, over and over and over again. You know I was holding onto myself first and I think that's the key is holding onto you and your light and your spirit, because it requires that without you staying whole, connected, full, like, it's really hard to navigate a path to motherhood Right.
Speaker 1:And how do you do that? That's like, like, how do you hold onto yourself?
Speaker 2:Uh, it's a daily choosing, it's a daily practice, it's, it's an, it's a mindset and an approach of I'm not going to be victim to my circumstances. I had to come to a place of acceptance, like this was our path, that was presented in front of us, and maybe if IVF didn't work like there's always that chance Like I was going to pursue other ways to become a mother. We just take it one step at a time and one day at a time. So I didn't look too far ahead to the future. I did my best to stay present, to stay grounded, to have an intention and an aim. That motherhood was a possibility for me and that's what I aim for. But I also think there's an element of detaching. I was detaching from the outcome. I was detaching from figuring out the how. So, yes, the big question of how do you do it? I've made it a way of living, I've made it a way of being and kind of can use that mindset through really anything in life. We don't have control of the how, but all we really do have control of is the here and now, and I did let go of the things that were out of my control, which is extremely challenging Many times. You know individuals on this path very type A, want to control, control, control.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I would say I was in that category as much. I kind of moved in flow, I stepped into it. I was a little bit naive going through this, but there's a part of this path that, like it, will take over your life if you let it. It will consume your thoughts, it will consume everything around you and rob you of your joy and rob you of your peace if you let it. And I'm like you know what? No, like this is one part of my life, this is one chapter of my story. I'm not this is not the whole book and I'm like every day I can turn a new page and I can start again, and so it's like a constant um choosing and letting go. And I would say it's like how much can you hold on and how much can you let go?
Speaker 1:yeah it's delicate balance, which must be so hard to do when it's something you want so deeply Like. So the fact that you could do that and detach from the outcome and stay in the present moment, I'm just like in awe of your strength, because that is so difficult when it's something you want so deeply.
Speaker 2:It is. And just to add on that too, I think you know being into manifestation and I've lived these principles really my whole life. I think I learned at a young age, the more we push harder, it's like, the more we're actually pushing something away. So it's like I wanted to step into this with more ease and not so much forcing or controlling, and it just like made this whole ride more enjoyable. I knew that there were things in front of me that I had to do the shots go to my daily appointments and the regular blood draws and the ultrasounds up up your hoo-ha. I mean, it's just like so like medical, so medical.
Speaker 2:And it's like, okay, I chose and this is what I encourage others who are on this path like choose a more soulful approach, like how can you stay connected to yourself through this, finding soulful practices? This is what I guide clients through and you know it's, it's we're the missing pieces, I think. So, yeah, it's like yeah, what can you control and what? How can we soften through this ride a bit more? Because it's so hard, it's so like I say, it's so like this masculine energy of the doing. It's a doing, doing, doing. You're doing shots, like I said, you're doing all these things and that's not really putting your body in a more receptive state. So and I have an occupational therapy background of over 20 years I really understood these principles of the nervous system and self-regulation and the sensory input. It's like how can we soften and create more space within? That's key. I don't understand this world.
Speaker 1:Much Can you share like. What is the process Like? Because it is a long, extensive process, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Like what is like the flow of the masculine energy? You ask yeah, I mean there's so many people that have different timelines and I mean I've had clients have tried for years, years and years and many rounds. We had like a year of the waiting and you know a couple of egg retrievals. But so when you start you take different. You know you're doing shots to stimulate your follicles to grow. So what was? I went to a concert a few days before an egg retrieval.
Speaker 2:I don't know, See, this is where I was just like living my life. I wasn't like focused on all that was really happening. But I mean, so your, your follicles are growing. I'm ready to have that was the phrase we were I was ready to hatch, I like that. And so, like your follicles grow, they put you under and you do an egg retrieval and they're like literally going you're out for this and they go in and through your vagina and they, like, are sucking out the follicles, like they're popping the follicles, like little things where they're like and they suck the little eggs through.
Speaker 2:So you're asking me about a timeline. I mean it's so, oh gosh, I should know that. But it's like it could be a few months, I mean, before you do a frozen transfer or if you do a fresh transfer. You get the eggs, they stimulate, they fertilize it with the sperm. You could be taking the hormones getting your body prepped and ready and then, like boom, have a fresh transfer. But I think more of and I've had talks with my doctor on this on my podcast too but it's like you know, the conventional frozen embryo transfer is like a typical way to go, where the embryo is frozen. Then they thought and so you're taking these hormones and shots, for a few weeks you do the egg retrieval and you're, like they call it, stimming, the stim phase, and then, um, they, once they have, you can do genetic testing or you don't have to.
Speaker 2:A lot of people opt not to do genetic testing of the embryos and I recommend it. Just I mean, I was older and so as you get older you know there's greater chance of maybe some genetic abnormalities, different kinds of things. So we wanted to get a try to get a healthy embryo. But, yeah, I feel like IVF when it was originally created and I got to interview the first baby born in the U?
Speaker 2:S, or IVF, who's amazing and her mom had done this because of tubal damage and her she didn't have tubes and so, like now it is used for so many more reasons, you know, than it was 41 years ago. But, like for those who are wanting to preserve their fertility through cancer treatment, you know so, to preserve your eggs or your sperm, like it's used for that. Or if you're in a same sex relationship, you know, using assisted reproductive technology this is, you know, one form of it, ivf and then genetic screening to reduce the chance of carrying genetic um, you know diseases carrying those over, like cystic fibrosis and things like that. So it's just used for so many more reasons. And, um, yeah, if someone doesn't have tubes um fallopian tubes or there's damage like it's used for that.
Speaker 2:So, there's just so many more reasons. You know why people need it and it's. I'm grateful for this technology.
Speaker 1:Okay, and where do they keep the frozen embryo, like where?
Speaker 2:is it? Yeah, it's in a lab. Each clinic Well, not every clinic has a lab, but you really want to go lab and finding a lab that has actually did a tour of the lab that I went to at my clinic here in Colorado. Um, and there are these huge, so each clinic is a little bit different, but there's like for for this clinic that I went to, they have these, this huge tank. I like it houses all of them, it houses for all their clients in this one huge, huge, huge tank and it's all done robotically. So I think, forget how many. You can maybe store six or something embryos in this one tube. We only had our one and even when I think about that, it's like mind blowing to me because you just want you trust these people with your little potentials and like for this one little dot. I mean, just imagine, okay, so an embryo is the size of like a period at the end of a sentence. That is how big an embryo is.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:A little dot, and actually my husband nicknamed our daughter dot and for a long time she was the dot in the freezer. We joked about it, but it was like she was frozen for like a year, you know. And so dot is we have her dot day. So every day we she has her um annual the anniversary date of our transfer we call it her dot day. It's really sweet, um. But yeah, so these tanks, they're just these big tanks and don't ask me like again, like all of the names of what they're stored in, but this pressurized system of like chemicals that they monitor, they can monitor, I mean, it's in detail, like to take care of these little ones, and so then you know when they pull them out and you put them in these Petri dishes and they can watch them and you just want like extra, extra good care. I never got to like see ours, except for a picture, like on our transfer day and things like that. But it's, they're, they're tiny.
Speaker 1:That's wild, and like the science now, and for you to say it's only been 41 years since we've been able to do this is also wild Like this is new technology. Like that is.
Speaker 2:A little bit longer for when IVF started, cause that was the first U S IVF baby and I think, um, it's about 46, 47, 47 years. Maybe it's been around. I'm 47. And I think Louise Hay was the first U S or first IVF baby and then Elizabeth Carr was the first U S IVF baby, so it's around 47 years yeah, relatively young.
Speaker 1:That is so young. Like that is wild. Yeah, and it's around 47 years, yeah, relatively young for women to be able to again make the choice on having something and having you know this journey of becoming a mother, if this is the only way they can do it too. Like I just think it's so cool that this has come to life, that someone created this.
Speaker 2:And it doesn't always work out. I want to keep it really real. You know, there's times where you pivot and you try something else and there's there's egg donor, there's embryo donor, there's sperm donor, there's horse adoption and surrogacy. And this is one path to parenthood and it is the path that I know and this is what I strive to be a voice in.
Speaker 1:And can you share a little bit too, on like the darkness of this. We know that there's a lot of grief that can come with this journey as well. Like what advice would you give to the woman who's going through this, who maybe is listening to this episode right now and is like I want this, but I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if this is ever going to happen for me. What would you tell them today?
Speaker 2:Well, even just with that mindset, like what you're sharing, I don't know like sitting, sitting with yourself and getting quiet and asking yourself some really you know, poignant questions of what is the story I'm telling myself going through this? That's one of the first things to look at is the narrative that you're telling yourself. Yes, this path is full of the unknowns and we can live in the doubt and the fear, or we can choose to live in more of what's possible, choosing to adopt a mindset, and I call it a miracle mindset. That's what I kind of encourage others to step into living life more fully, finding the joy, not just through your fertility path, but just in life in general, like oftentimes with the darkness, like IVF in particular. Like I said, if we let it, it will suck the life out of you. I said, if we let it, it will suck the life out of you, and so that's no kind of place to call on a child, to call on a baby to step into receiving an embryo Cause that is what we're literally doing on a transfer days. We're receiving this embryo into our womb and I believe in tuning into the energetics. What is within our control, what is the mindset, what are the stories that you're telling yourself what, what, what can we let go of? That may be in our womb space. It's taking up space. This requires, like, a real deep dive, you know, within, or talking to someone like myself who can like help guide you through some of this to uncover where maybe am I not in alignment, where maybe am I like holding on creating more tension within. So the darkness, I mean, I believe it has a purpose, like we don't want to avoid all these hard feelings because it's just like such an overwhelming process where it's, like I said, such a busy doing kind of energy and a lot of people put their life on hold. They don't maybe do the vacation because what if I'm pregnant? Or what if I'm going through a STEM phase and I'm going through treatment, or what if? So there's a lot of the what ifs and the focus of what if it all goes wrong, but I like to invite others to shift into a mindset of what if it goes right and what if it all goes wrong. But I like to invite others to shift into a mindset of what if it goes right and what if it goes better than you can imagine.
Speaker 2:And my mantra going through IVF, which I shared with you is always expect something wonderful to happen, and it's like that's the kind of energy we wanna bring to this. How do we step in more fully, trusting, more fully open? You know, you and I have this like lens we talked about in my episode. It's like this unique lens that we want to wear and then we choose to wear of like optimistic and joy, and we have this one shot at life, and it's like this is my only shot at motherhood too.
Speaker 2:As far as going through IVF, we had one embryo and I can't also have any more children. We had some complications post-birth, and so I'm just incredibly grateful and I can't also have any more children. We had some complications post-birth, and so I'm just incredibly grateful and I didn't know, maybe I was going to have another chance to do this. We only had our one embryo and it's just like how can we step into celebrating a bit more along the way? Can we celebrate each milestone that we're going through, make it kind of like a fun adventure and ride with the lows and ride with the highs?
Speaker 2:I had times where, yeah, I cried my eyes out finding the four embryos that weren't healthy, like, oh my gosh, it's like devastating, it's devastating, and make space for those feelings and allow the pity party. And I found journaling to be really helpful for me, so I'm a big journaler and I would write out my pain, write out things and like let it go and then pick yourself up again and find your people and find your community. That's there to uplift you, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like I yeah, I told you this the other day too but my glitter goggles, so I get it but then sometimes, when it's really like difficult and dark things like this, like I don't want to be naive or I don't want to be the person who just only has the optimistic look on it. So I like that. You've seen both. But I also love that you lean into that joy, because that does come natural to me and also, I know, to you, and it isn't for everyone. I see you if that's you, but I just it's.
Speaker 1:I know this journey it was really difficult for you and to hear you living life and focusing on the joy and focusing on the beauty, cause you're right, it could consume you and I just love your approach to it. It's so, so, so beautiful. Is there anything that you would suggest to women who want to get started on this journey? Like if there's anything that they should ask their doctor about and again, I know things are different here in Canada than they are in the States. We do have people from all over North America listening to this but, like, what would be like if they were? Like OK, I want to get started on this journey? What are some questions that I would ask, or what are some things that I should start with?
Speaker 2:or what are some things that I should start with. Yeah, it can't hurt to get early testing. This is one thing that's just not talked about enough. So I mean, depending on your age, and even in your twenties, like I don't know, did your mom have a hard time getting pregnant? Like maybe under ask, like what your kind of family history is and genetics, um, are your periods painful? Like going in detail and I have friends that that's kind of their specialty but like really understanding your cycle, do you have a regular cycle? Are your periods like really painful? Um, endometriosis can be like undetected for years and so, like, just all those painful periods are just not normal and those can later like affect you know our fertility and so, not to scare anybody, I just think like the more empowered we are knowing our body and like being open with your doctor.
Speaker 2:I actually didn't have an OB for years. I don't know if, how it is there, but I was always going to my primary physician for everything, and so when I graduated from my fertility clinic, I'm like I would think that was my first like OB appointment. I'm like I don't know what kind of care you have there, but really having these open conversations, like you know, especially like if in your early 30s and you're thinking about starting a family like just some basic testing like I said, the AMH, fsh those can be just simple tests that you could have done even for your partner, like sperm quality. Looking at that, that's often like not looked at. So the more empowered you can be and just understanding some of your basic numbers will support you. I've had many people tell me I wish someone had told me earlier about too about freezing my eggs. So if you are maybe like you don't have a partner or you do want to be a mom one day and you're focused on your career, if I was in so I like I said I met my husband at 35, but again I was kind of naive I think if I was in my early thirties I would maybe start looking at potentially freezing. You know, freezing your eggs it's kind of like an insurance policy and there's even like egg freezing parties now and all kinds of like crazy stuff. But I think it's empowering. It is it's empowering and we don't have forever with our fertility as women.
Speaker 2:I mean they talk about significant decline after 35, blah, blah, blah. They talk about significant decline after 35, blah, blah, blah. But I mean I didn't succumb to that Again the numbers and had my daughter at 40. And so it's just like it's a mindset. It's what are you going to focus on, what are you going to believe? But know your numbers, it's key. So get some early testing. Talk with your OB, talk with your doctor. Early testing talk with your OB, talk with your doctor. Um, just just get some basic labs. That could save a lot of heartbreak like down the road.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think that's great advice. I don't, and I don't totally know the process here either. Again, our healthcare is very different than yours, and so sometimes it's kind of one of those like take what you can get up here.
Speaker 2:So uh, and also with like coverage too. Sorry to, I was just thinking about like I can't remember what in canada, what it's like there with fertility coverage, but in the states we're like it's less than 20 states have fertility coverage here I think it's all out of pocket here, is it okay?
Speaker 1:I think again somebody who's listening to this who's Canadian. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is all out of pocket.
Speaker 2:So these treatments are really expensive and you could look into your work, your employers, and see if there's any fertility coverage. I was lucky we did have some through my husband. Sometimes they cover medication. Sometimes, you know, there's certain companies that more and more are providing fertility benefits because it's becoming more of an issue and they want to attract and draw and keep their best clients.
Speaker 1:So that is a perk now that more companies are becoming informed on this important issue and also beautiful that they're like supporting families in starting a family, like whereas back in the day you were a burden if you were a woman who wanted a baby. Right, it's nice that it's finally starting to change and go into a direction of being more supportive and more loving in the workspace.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I'm on board. I'm on board. I love it. So let's chat a little bit about your book Hold On Baby, and also your podcast and your business and all the things Like when you got started on this journey of entrepreneurship again I think you mentioned two years after you had baby, you released this book, which is wild. Like. What have you learned along the way? How are you feeling? Tell us about? Yeah, it all so much.
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah, I'd always been journaling through our whole journey, through, you know, trying to conceive. And so, having been writing since I was 10 years old and books upon books, upon books, and I met a woman like you always just I don't know like you're being open to the signs and I met a woman, got connected, who was shifting out of the fertility space herself and was helping budding authors and I was her second author to, to work one-on-one with her and so creating this book, I mean, I'm so proud of it. I what a journey. I mean that was a nine week writing process, believe it or not. I wrote my first draft within nine weeks, that's so fast.
Speaker 2:I really so, believe it or not. So it's a nine week writing program. It went through multiple edits after that, but, to get my thoughts out and actually believe it or not, the first three weeks were just getting in the zone, getting in the writing, getting in the zone where I was like, okay, my intention, who's this for? What's my message? I want to convey the theme throughout the whole book, all of it, and the message is really hold on to you first, hold on baby yeah, we were holding on for one, but it's like, most importantly, it's holding on to you first and so staying connected to yourself. And I mean, yes, went through multiple edits that was in 2019, released it not knowing we were going to be in a pandemic, but even that theme of hold on baby, it's like, hold on Like. And it's so funny how I felt like COVID was so much like IVF, like the waiting, the unknown. We're not going to put our life on hold. We're going to keep living in joy. We're going to you know, yes, it's overwhelming and the anxiety and all these fears creep in, but it's like it was very parallel, so very timely that that book came out when it did in 2020, and then started the podcast. Yeah, and last year I did a podcast program and soulful IVF is my podcast and I again I wanted to show the other side of fertility that's not really talked about. I mean, I do include some of the science and the clinical conversations, but it's also very much personal stories and the holistic supports and tools and practices that I practiced and that I want to share with others who are embarking on this path and really giving hope. So I mean, between the book and the podcast, I'm so they're just unexpected blessings that I truly never thought I would be working in this space. But sometimes the calling just chooses you. So I think you and I've talked about that too where it's like you'd be pivoted and we kind of think, oh, we're going to work in this one area. Well, it's all been a part of the ride, like they're all interconnected, and so being an occupational therapist really did support me going through all this and, um, taking an empowered approach through it all.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I keep creating. I'm just like this is what's so fun. I mean the book, the podcast, working on my course and, um, this month, this, uh, january, earlier this year, I created the moon magic and manifestation group. So for those who are wanting to connect in an intimate space, we do monthly calls and I have guest experts and it's really just this really soulful time together where we get to share, connect and learn from others. I just had on my friend who's a fertility yoga instructor. We've done all kinds of great things, so it's I welcome whoever wants to be a part of that to message me and join that. And yeah, just let you know that you're not alone. We learn from each other.
Speaker 2:Walking this path can be extremely isolating and lonely, and so hopefully my book is a companion for you on your path. And then the book, the podcast too. You know, I just received the nicest message from a woman recently and she talked about saying that getting her in the headspace, the book, the podcast and I shared a hypnosis with her too. I share my friend's fertility hypnotherapy program that I include in my packages. She said all of that helped put me in the head space, which she believes is what helped her get through Like she's halfway through her pregnancy and just that her body responded so well through all of that. So this is like what it's about, like how can we create this like calm, nurturing space of ease on our path to motherhood. So that's what I strive to do, you know.
Speaker 1:I just said, oh, oh, I just sit over here and I'm just like so absolutely magical, and it's no surprise that you are creating magical things and supporting so many women and doing all these things, because you are that like, you embody that, and I just think it's so beautiful to watch and just in a such a place of that can be dark, you are bringing light to it and helping women to feel less alone, helping women to feel connected and to see themselves as like the gift that they are, I think is just so fun, so fun to watch you.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, thank you.
Speaker 1:If you could share one piece of advice with the women listening, what would it be?
Speaker 2:there's so much I want to say Don't let your light dim on this path, because you have a big life and you are more powerful than you realize these fertility challenges. They might try and take over, but just remember you have that light within you. You will get through this dark time and know that you're not alone and that there's people who are there to offer support, and so I encourage those to be open, to stay open, to keep living your life fully and embrace what's to come, you know, keeping keeping hope alive. And if motherhood is on your heart, like it's meant for you and it's it's something that I would encourage you to hold close to you.
Speaker 2:And as I look down on my desk here, they're talking like I have this, like crystal heart, and this little heart was given to me by a dear family member who, you know, was supporting me out through IVF. And just have a symbol to ground, you to hold on to, and it can be something small and just tangible, just something that connects you back to that why, your, why, and this thing has been small and just tangible, just something that connects you back to that why, your, why, and this thing has been with me through everything, for all the surgeries through so much, and so there's a chapter I have in my book on that, about seek your symbol and but be open to how it might appear, and that's key. That's really like where the magic can come your way when you stay open.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that, I love that. Where can our listeners connect with you online? Where can they find your podcast, all the things?
Speaker 2:My website is IVF manifesting a miraclecom and the same name for Instagram, facebook. I'm on LinkedIn YouTube channel Lisa White IVF manifesting miracle. My podcast soulful IVF is on iTunes, spotify. What else Book hold on baby is on Amazon. So thank you, jess.
Speaker 1:Of course, of course. I'm just. I just love having you here. I do have a couple of questions that I ask every guest that comes on the podcast. You ready, Okay, have a couple of questions that I ask every guest that comes on the podcast you ready Okay.
Speaker 2:Are you? What is your favorite compliment to receive? Ooh, um, the energy that they feel when they're around me, the energy that I bring something. I forget how someone said it, but it was like something that I felt, like just just the approachability or the warmth that I exude. That was really sweet.
Speaker 1:That is so nice you do. You're a warm hug. Thank you and what is your favorite thing to do to boost your mood when you're feeling grumpy?
Speaker 2:Okay, when I'm feeling grumpy, um, um, how much time do you have? No, I would say, crank up some tunes, put on music and you know, dance it out, move your body. But music I mean when I'm in the car, like a good blast of the radio or you know some music always does the trick oh yeah, I'm the same.
Speaker 1:It's like you have to to have these right songs if you're going to an event which I am today. I need the right songs that get me pumped up to get there, so that I'm in the mood. So I feel you on that one, and do you have a song or a quote that boosts your confidence?
Speaker 2:A song or a quote. Oh, there's so much. There's so much, like um the cold play song, um sky full of stars. You know that one, I think, trust fall by pink, always gets me going. I mean, there's there's a lot of music that I could think of, but um, a quote. As I look around my room, like if I have this, I see on a regular basis and this might be a message for somebody listening, but it's in the end these things matter most. How well did you love, how fully did you live? How deeply did you learn to let go?
Speaker 2:so kind of a way of living and life that I strive to live fully. And let go enjoy the ride right.
Speaker 1:I love that. Yeah, thank you so much, lisa, for being here, spending some time with us today for sharing all about your honor being so vulnerable with us.
Speaker 1:Like that's what we need more of. So thank you for being here. Love, Love you, girl. I love you. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
