Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Speak Up! Speaker Series w/ Ashley O'Connor
It's happening...the third Speak Up! Speaker is...
Ashley O'Connor!
Have you ever wondered how a health crisis can become a catalyst for profound change? This week on Self(ish) Confidence, I'm joined by the incredible Ashley O'Connor, who made the leap from nurse to health coach and personal trainer, dedicating her life to uplifting caregivers. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of self-care and the ripple effect it has on our ability to nurture others. As we recount the evolution of our bond from coach-client to cherished friends and collaborators, you'll feel the authenticity of our connection and the shared mission that fuels our projects, including Ashley's upcoming 'Healing Healthcare Podcast.'
The conversation sparkles with anticipation for Ashley's insights at the Speak Up event in Halifax, where the community of empowered women is primed to expand. You'll catch the buzz of excitement as we reveal our plans to bring joy and vibrancy to event participation!
Ready to grab your Speak Up! ticket in Halifax, Nova Scotia? Check it all out here.
Connect with Ashley on IG: @healthcoachfornurses and check out her podcast Ashley O Show.
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started.
Speaker 1:Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here, and we are still in our Speak Up speaker series, which is freaking exciting. All of the month of May, we are announcing all of the speakers who are going to be joining us at the amazing Speak Up event in Halifax, nova Scotia, on October 5th and 6th, and I am just like so freaking pumped and pumped for a lot of reasons, but one in particular is that I'm going to be able to hug a lot of people who I don't get to hug every single day, and one of those people is here hanging out with me right now. Hi, I'm like. Guess who it is? It's me. They're like who is me? I have my very good friend, ashley O'Connor on, who has been on this podcast multiple times, who has been just an amazing, amazing resource to our community, to Confidently you, to all of the things, and I'm just so excited to announce that you're actually going to be speaking at Speak Up. How exciting.
Speaker 2:I'm very excited, I'm so honored. It's going to be an just I mean, I already know it's going to be an incredible event because I've been to so many of yours at this point, and this first big one is going to the energy is going to be amazing, and so I just I'm so honored to be a part of it.
Speaker 1:I'm just so excited I knew a hundred percent it would be you. And before I get into kind of why I chose you, can you tell us Ashley a bit about you? Someone who is listening, who's like? Who's Ashley? Tell us about you and what do you do? Who is Ashley? That's?
Speaker 2:a great question.
Speaker 1:We worked on that last week at the retreat you should know.
Speaker 2:Now I feel like that's a whole journey over the past. I don't know how many years, anyways is who I am, but when we talk about like a resume or whatever we want to call it, I am a registered nurse, turned health coach and personal trainer for other registered nurses and just caregivers in general. This is now my third career, so I started out in a psychology space. I was in biomedical manufacturing and in research and then in behavioral health, and then I went back to school, became a nurse, did that for a few years and then became an entrepreneur because I found that that was the place I was going to make the biggest impact and that's where I am today is trying to help the people who are helping the world, and that feels the most aligned for me, because it's in the nature of caregivers right Like nurses, healthcare workers, teachers, parents to put everybody else before themselves, and that typically will mean that their own health or their own mental health will deteriorate. So I didn't want to stand on the sidelines of that anymore and instead I help those people take care of themselves, because then there's this magical effect that they just start taking care of everyone around them better and that makes the world better. So I am also.
Speaker 2:I'm a speaker now and a podcaster myself. I have a podcast called the Ashley O Show, and that's going to be transitioning as well, but we essentially talk about the same things how to take care of yourself when your life is incredibly busy. So that's me. I'm about to move to Denver, colorado, in a matter of weeks here, and we've got really big transitions happening in life. But it's all beautiful.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm so excited. I'm so excited to come visit you too in Denver. And Ashley has been on this amazing journey of self-discovery. And when you say like, hey, who are you and what do you do, we all know that question freaking scares us, especially when we're multi-passionate and it's ever changing in what we do. And Ashley has been ever changing in what she does and also where she lives, in who she's, you know, interacting with and what she wants to focus on.
Speaker 1:And I think it's been a beautiful testament to watch you figure this out and I know you were just like, oh, I want to just figure it out already, but, like watching you go through it has been so beautiful and I knew I wanted to have Ashley on as a speaker at speak up from the moment.
Speaker 1:I thought about this whole process because Ashley is one an incredible speaker Like if you haven't already heard her podcast or listened to her speak in person. She's just magical in what she talks about and what she does and what she helps women with. But also, ashley was one of, like, my very first one-to-one clients. Back in the day. We met each other in a Facebook community page and it transitioned from a client coach relationship to a friend relationship, to business partners and exciting things that we're going to be doing together, and it's just been like this really cool thing to watch it like all flow together, like there's no other person that had won on that stage other than you. So I'm so excited that you agreed to being a part of this and coming all the way up here to the great white North and experiencing a Nova Scotian fall, which will be beautiful but also a little chillier than you might be used to.
Speaker 2:And that's okay, it's gorgeous.
Speaker 1:I love, I love.
Speaker 2:Nova Scotia. I've loved Halifax. I've been there one time and it was great. I got good weather that time.
Speaker 1:Actually, you did, actually Ashley came up for the very first retreat in early November of 2022. And it was like the most beautiful weather we have ever had. Ashley was walking around in her bathing suit, like all weekend, and I was like, girl, you're from Arizona, but it was like 20 degrees and it was a beautiful day. So, yeah, bring that with you again, cause we're going to need that up here. Can you tell everyone what you're looking forward to most when it comes to speak up?
Speaker 2:Ooh, what I'm looking forward to most that is always these are always the hardest questions because I'm like I can list about 10 things. What I'm looking forward to most, honestly is just that room and I think, the energy that's going to be in it, because you and you just have a magical ability to bring the best people into a room Like you just attract really wonderful people because you make people feel safe. If anyone has ever been on the fence about working with Jess or going to an event or doing that, I can tell you firsthand that she is going to make you feel incredibly safe and is going to open up so much for you because of what she creates and I just know that that's going to happen and speak up Like after this retreat that we just went through this past week. That was the same thing.
Speaker 2:The people that you brought together were incredible and when that happens, there's just more magic that happens on top of it. So when you bring people together who are growth mindset, who are just open and vulnerable and there to share and grow and learn from each other and connect, beautiful things happen. So I'm so excited to be in that room and part of that experience because I know that there's going to be so much growth that happens. I know that there's going to be transformations that happen and also just real friendships and community and connection. So that, I think, is what I'm looking forward to the most, not only just speaking on the stage, but being in the room with everybody.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah. What do you think too, where, like you've been to events now we've both been to events where we're like also speaking and being a part of it, like how do we incorporate both? I'm just curious, like, do you think that that's ever something, that that you struggle with, where you're like one person's speaker and also an attendant?
Speaker 2:and also an attendant, ooh, like how to kind of be present in both spaces. Yeah, oh yeah, the first I feel like the first stage and I think you're, you're the same. The first stage we were on it was a little bit of a weird event, like we were like our energy is a little off, and maybe that was because we were about to speak, um, but part of that, I think, was like the bandaid experience, like we both needed to do it for the first time, like in a big stage, and then, I don't know, I felt so at home there and speaking and connecting in that way that I feel like it's going to be easier to bridge the gap. Like I also just the privilege of being able to be a keynote speaker. I'm so excited to be able to go out into the, into the crowd and connect directly with people and then sit beside them for the next speakers.
Speaker 2:Like I think that's how you bridge the, the gap is to be able to sit next to them and sit next to everyone and connect to everyone, because I would never want this experience at least for me, right? I would never want anyone who is listening, who is in, who is sitting in the chairs watching the speakers, to think that we're on any different level. There's no hierarchy. There's none of that. It's that we're all just people who want to just connect and share a message. So I would never want there to be a divide. So anyone who goes to speak up and is listening know that we're just people, we're just your best friends who want to talk to you and connect with you, and that, I think, is how we're going to. We're going to bridge that gap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think too, with like the planning of the event, as you know, I've been like very strategic with who I'm picking who's on the stage, all of those pieces. But all of the people who are speaking on the stage are also attendants with the VIP tickets. Like they are also people who are going to be at the VIP night hanging out with us on the cocktail cruise, and there are people who are going to be sitting in the VIP chairs and hanging out at the at the event, like they have their tickets to be a part of the event as much as they are speakers. And I think that that's really helpful too because, again, like you said, like it's we're all in the same place, we're all on the same level, we're all in this together and we can really learn a lot from each other.
Speaker 1:And I think I've never really particularly loved events where the speakers come, speak and then they get back on their private jets and they go home. That's just not the vibe that I wanted here. I wanted people who want to be a part of it, and Ashley is one of those people who has been such an influential part of my journey, who, like, is like a girl's girl who's going to be a part of this event and make it something really, really special. So, yeah, I'm just really excited. I'm really excited. Do you have any idea of what you're going to be sharing? I know it's six months away, but you know might as well ask.
Speaker 2:You know, I I don't know exactly yet and this, I think a previous version of me probably would have been obsessing over it and stressing over it and making a list and doing all these things. And now I guess I feel this comfort in like just waiting and letting whatever, because there's going to be something I'm supposed to say, I think, and so giving myself the space to figure out what that's going to be. I mean, what I'm passionate about talking about, especially for women, is just falling in love or building a relationship with their body again. So I imagine there's going to be something around there, because we need that reminder all the time as women and as people. But I think we're so hard on ourselves and our bodies and what they're supposed to look like or the size they're meant to be or whatever else, and I really would love to break through that. So I wouldn't be surprised if there's a theme along those lines. But I also am leaving it open in case there's something else that I meant to say, and even just what you were saying just then.
Speaker 2:You said that I am such a girl's girl. That even just sparked something in me where I'm like I was not so for anyone who's listening. I mean, if you're listening to Jess's podcast, you're probably a girl's girl already. But if you were anything like me, not very long ago, probably a couple years ago I thought that I was destined to never have friends who were women, because I think it was mostly because I was closed off. But I just assumed, like, oh, I just made friends with guys. Like I don't get along with girls, like they're too catty or they're like. I just categorized women in this one big category and I think it was based on fear I, I or just me not knowing myself.
Speaker 2:So anyone who's on the fence and maybe isn't sure if they belong in a room like this, cause they're not girly enough or they're not a, they don't call themselves a girl's girl. This is the kind of community and this might scare you a little but this is the kind of community where you're going to get sucked in into the beauty of that. Sucked in into the beauty of that. Like Jess is one of the people who, like made me feel like I could be a girl's girl again, like that I could have good girlfriends. Like I have a list of people now.
Speaker 2:I didn't have friends for years and years, like I just thought I was meant to be on my own, but Jess is one of the people that broke down that barrier, so for I just want to throw that out there for somebody listening who might be like. That's not me though. I'm not girly enough. I don't love pink as much as Jess does. Uh, you know, I I'm. I only have friends who are guys like if that's, you, just throw yourself in the room, just try it and you'll get sucked in.
Speaker 1:I like how you said you get sucked in. Now I'm picturing me at this event with like a, like a straw outside, like sucking up people off the street, like, come, come, be one of us.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure that's what happened and I wouldn't, I wouldn't change it you chose it.
Speaker 1:You chose it. I did for me. But it is interesting that you say that because, yeah, that's not not my story. Like I've always had a lot of friends and and a lot of girlfriends growing up, but I can see in you too, like I watched you break down that wall of like years. It's like, girl, when are you gonna actually like let me see who you are? And Ashley, just this past weekend at the retreat, we were eight, nine women all together at this event and from the second Ashley got there, she was herself and I've been privileged to see that. It's like I'm going to get so emotional. It's one of the greatest gifts being able to see Ashley for Ashley, and sometimes it just takes breaking down some of those walls. So I'm glad I sucked you in because you are just incredible and I can't even imagine not having you as one of my greatest girlfriends. So, man, just thinking about watching you on stage and I'm like, haha, sucked you in, girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the initiation is worth it. It's worth it.
Speaker 1:It's scary, but it is so worth it. It's so worth it. And this room like I used to be almost afraid to say it because I didn't want to brag or anything like that, but like I do attract incredible women together and if you're listening to this, you are one of those incredible women Like I bring great people together, so you're going to want to be in this room, you're going to want to meet these special people, and if you are someone who doesn't have a lot of friends, I promise you you'll be walking away with great friendships, especially for my local girlies. Because how beautiful is it going to be for us to do things after this event too? Like these are people who you could meet up for coffee on a Saturday morning, or these are people who you could come to socials with or be a part of the sisterhood, and like it's just, it's really going to be a beautiful and special event. It's going to it's going to be great. I can't wait. And yeah, you're right, it's probably going to have a lot of pink.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's just it's just who I am. I probably won't be wearing pink, so I'll balance it out. Yeah, and that's okay, you're allowed to. If you want to wear all black, you can.
Speaker 1:Yes, you can you can still be part of the cult. We're not a cult. I'm not sucking in followers, it's a really good one. She says I love it, and I guess this kind of leads into the next question I have too on, like why is community and supporting women so important to you?
Speaker 2:I think again, it goes back to at least my experience, I think, where I didn't have that and then over these past few years it's been so. That's what's changed. Everything Like that's the thing. That was the formula that I needed was community and people that I could relate to and people that I could be myself with, and how many of us need that in general after the past few years of our lives. We all need community and connection, and I think women need this in particular, because for some of us maybe, if you were like me, we've closed ourselves off to a lot of this type of connection, especially vulnerable connection.
Speaker 2:We've been told for so long like don't cry in public, don't be so emotional, I don't know, don't be so vulnerable, you're too sensitive.
Speaker 2:We've been told that we're too blank for years, like too many things, and I think a community like this one, like a safe space like this is, is the place where you can be you like, be who you are, be yourself, because you may think that you're being yourself right now I've done this too where I'm like, I am authentic, I'm myself, I say things, I say what's on my mind, but that's not the same, and it's these spaces and this type of community being around a bunch of women who are crying and not ashamed of it, where I'm like, oh I could, I could do that too, and that's not easy for me and that's not.
Speaker 2:I know that's probably not easy for some of you listening, but this is the kind of space where suddenly you realize I can actually just be whoever is in there, like you, you actually authentically you can can express yourself in a space like this, and I think that's where community becomes. So important is that if you build the right community of women who are safe, who listen to you, who are empathetic, who are people that are in justice space, it's a guarantee. If you're in justice space, that's where we grow the most.
Speaker 1:Yeah, space, that's where we grow the most. Yeah, I think one of the things, too, I love about events in general is like you can go and be you. For the most part, nobody knows you there. Like maybe you're bringing your mom or your best friend along, sure, but if you're coming totally by yourself and you don't know anyone in this room, you could literally wear that outfit that's in the back of your closet, that you were just like oh, I could never wear that. Or when I wear that, my friends would judge me or my partner's going to think I'm too much. Like you could come in that outfit and we're just going to be like, yeah, girl, that's who you are. We don't know otherwise. I always think that's so interesting where, like people don't.
Speaker 1:A lot of people who are in this space don't know me from before I started my podcast. I'm a very different version of Jess. I came into this very differently and Ashley's even saying that too. She's a different version of Ashley than she was before she started her podcast, and you get to become that in these spaces. It gives you a place to practice who you are and stand in your power and literally wear anything you want without judgment and like that'd be the coolest thing. Like I know, sometimes we go out with girlfriends and you're like I could never wear that. They're going to judge me so much and they might cause they know a different version of you, but these girls don't, these sisters don't know anything about you. So like, come and wear whatever you want. Ashley could show up in all pink and you wouldn't know that that is very uncomfortable for her.
Speaker 2:Maybe I have to, maybe that's the thing we're going to see.
Speaker 1:What happens we're going to see what happens.
Speaker 2:It's going to happen.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. We could like swap outfits you could dress me and I could dress you. That could be fun.
Speaker 2:It'd be super fun. You'd throw people off, though, I think if you did that.
Speaker 1:If I showed up in all black, but I can. Yeah, because that's what it's all about. I'm so excited, like even just to have you and your energy around, and last week, which was like even less than a week ago, we said bye after the retreat, but it wasn't that hard to say bye because I knew we were going to see each other so soon and like that is so, it makes it so much easier. It does. I'm yeah, I'm really excited and I've planned this event to be like hanging out with my best friends for the whole day. So if you're looking for some really amazing people like, this is a space for you. Can you tell everyone listening where they can connect with you, where they can find your podcast, where they can get to know all about you before the event?
Speaker 2:yes, so this is a funny. This is a funny one too because we've got a big transition going on. But right now the podcast is called the Ashley O Show, so there are almost 300 episodes on there. So that's a space you can go and binge a bunch of episodes. We are going to be starting fresh with that very soon this summer and that's going to be the Healing Healthcare Podcast very similar vibe. So the Ashley O Show is a great place to just binge a bunch of episodes and get to know me in that space.
Speaker 2:But in terms of following me and connecting with me, you can do that over at Health Coach for Nurses. That's the page we're starting with here. That is the space where you can DM me, shoot me a message Like I am an open book If you're curious about whether you should go to this event, like if you're on the fence and you're like you know what? Jess wears a lot of pink, ashley wears a lot of black. I think I connect with that, so I'm going to message her. Do it Like I'll tell you all the things. However, I can help you be in that room. That's my job because you need to be there If you're listening to this podcast and it's on your mind. If you listen to this podcast, you should just be in the room. I think that is just a guarantee. But I can help sway you. I'll help you suck you in too.
Speaker 1:Ashley's now on sucking duty. Okay, can I just say? Did you just say the new podcast name is Healing Healthcare? Um, okay, can I just say, did you just say the new podcast name is healing healthcare? Yeah?
Speaker 2:That is so good. Yeah, I'm excited about it and it wasn't taken.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love it so much. Absolutely. It was meant for you. Yeah, it's exactly what you're here to do and, oh my gosh, I'm so, so, so excited. And Ashley and I might be having a little special announcement coming out here soon that we won't share now. But, like, maybe there's something it's gonna be good. We just gotta take some action and do some sucking. I don't know why that's now gonna be in my head.
Speaker 2:I'll be like that's gonna be a thing. I just gotta suck some more people in, you know now you should put straws in like the, the bags, like the curly straws, and then we'll do a whole thing with it. That'd be weird, but we're weird.
Speaker 1:You know what we are weird and you all know I like to do some weird things, so I think that's gonna be great. I have a fun question for you. Okay, okay, so you are a new addition to the crayon box, okay, okay, what color would you be and why?
Speaker 2:oh, um it's a yellow, but it's gonna be a variation of a yellow. What color? Which one? I'm gonna go with a neon yellow. Yellow because it's a bold color, it's a good color, but it's also bright and happy. I've always loved yellow and it used to be a mustard yellow is my go-to. But the neon's feeling. I'm feeling a pull with the neon yellow and I think it goes with so much but it compliments so much. I love a high contrast. That's also Jess and I, high contrast.
Speaker 1:I love it. I thought you were going to say black.
Speaker 2:No no, I love an all black outfit, but I love an all black outfit with the pop of neon yellow.
Speaker 1:So, yes, yeah, I love it. That's a great color. You are neon yellow. Yeah, I love it. I am so excited to see you soon and to hug you and to have you be a part of this. It really would not be the same without you.
Speaker 2:I am so honored to be part of it. I cannot wait and I can't wait to see all of you listening. Hug us all, I'll hug you, I'll hug you, I'll hug you.
Speaker 1:We'll do a big group hug. It'll be great. It's going to be so great. I can't wait. Thanks so much for being here and for being a part of this. Yeah, thank you. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Every week that another speaker gets announced, I just get more and more excited for this incredible event that we are planning for October 5th and 6th in Halifax, nova Scotia, and so now we have our third speaker announced. So, if you haven't listened to the other two episodes, we have Gina Keeping, we have Geneva Dickey and now Ashley O'Connor coming in to speak at this incredible event and, as you've heard in the episodes, I've been very strategic in picking the speakers and why I want them to be a part of this One, for the energy they bring is like top notch. All of these people are very important people in my life and I want that energy in the room to feel like you're hanging out with me and my BFFs for the day, and your new BFFs, all of the people that you're going to meet, and I just I know the vibe is going to be incredible. As I watch people get their tickets, I'm like, oh my gosh, this person's coming and this person's coming. It's going to be such an epic day and if you've gotten your VIP ticket, you know it's a two-day event for you. So we have our VIP cocktail social from five to seven on October 5th. So we'll have this like beautiful cocktail cruise. We'll be able to meet all of the people before the event so that when you go to the event you've already made friends, you already can have people to sit with, you can already feel more comfortable and safe in that space, because you've made some of those like scary introductions the day before. And then, of course, we have the full day event on the 6th, where you're able to like see all of the speakers, enjoy all the company, really just like get immersed in this world of confidence and speaking up and just standing in your power, like I cannot wait for this amazing weekend. And, of course, added bonus if you're in the Selfish Sisterhood, we have a sisterhood lunch happening on the 5th before the VIP night. So we'll have a lunch and then the VIP night and then the full day event. So if you're in the sisterhood, you're ready for a ride. Like you're ready for a ride. It's going to be just the best weekend ever.
Speaker 1:And maybe you're listening to this and you're like okay, I'm in, I'm in, tell me where do I get my ticket? I will put all the information in the show notes for you, but there's two different kinds of tickets you can get. You can get your VIP ticket that includes that cocktail cruise and then also the full day event. Full day event You'll also get priority seating and elevated swag bags. So there is a lot of value in that VIP ticket. It's $2.99 Canadian. You can also do a three-month payment plan if that's better for you. And then the other option is our general admission ticket, which is just the full day event plus your swag bag, plus, just like it's going to be an incredible day, but you won't get the VIP night on Saturday night. So that is $199 Canadian and there is also a three-month payment plan for that.
Speaker 1:So there are a lot of options for you to be able to come and to join us for this incredible event happening in Halifax, nova Scotia, on October 5th and 6th and I just like I cannot believe it's less than six months away. So grab your ticket and join us, because early bird pricing is coming to a close pretty soon. So if you've been thinking about it, you're going to want to get your ticket, because maybe one of these episodes you know spoiler alert might be announcing how you can get on that stage, but you have to have your ticket to get there. So I can't freaking wait. I hope you have a great day and if you have any questions, send them my way. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
