Self(ish) Confidence
Your confidence is your superpower… but what if you don’t have any? It can be hard to show up as your authentic self. When we go out, or even scrolling on the couch, it's easy to get trapped in the comparison game, making it even harder to be beautifully you. Self(ish) Confidence is about finding your confidence, shining your light and taking action toward your unconventional life. Every week, we'll chat through barriers that could hold you back. Follow along with me, Jess Clerke, as we learn to find our confidence together and begin to share our magic with the world.
Self(ish) Confidence
Self(ish) Sisterhood Chat w/ Emily DiTullio, Jaime Nickerson & Meghan Cartwright
Welcome to the first Sisterhood Pod Chat! Today, we've got the fabulous sis trio of Emily DiTullio, Jaime Nickerson, and Meghan Cartwright joining the party! Get ready for a rollercoaster ride through the heart of our amazing community.
Hold onto your hats as we dive into the juicy stuff—personal stories, vulnerability, and all the things that make us stick together like glue! From wild dreams to leaving our mark on the world, we're covering it all. And let's not forget about the power of giving back and the ripple effect of our actions!
But wait, there's more! Get ready for some heartfelt moments as we remind ourselves just how incredible our sisterhood truly is. Whether we're laughing, crying, or just enjoying the silence, each and every one of us adds a splash of color to the beautiful tapestry of sisterhood.
We're not just inviting you to listen in; we want you to be part of the magic! So come on, join the fun beyond this episode, and let's keep the empowerment train rolling! Together, we'll navigate life's twists and turns, celebrate friendship, and embark on the journey of self-discovery. Because when phenomenal women support each other, there's nothing we can't achieve!
Connect with the Sisters on IG:
Emily Ditullio: @em.brooke.ditullio
Jaime Nickerson: @jaimeleenickerson
Meghan Cartwright: @cartwright_meghan
Get on the Self(ish) Sisterhood waitlist or learn more here.
Check out: https://jessclerke.com/self-ish-sisterhood
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
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My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I am so excited to finally share this episode with you.
Speaker 1:I recorded this a few weeks ago and I have just been dreaming about this conversation since we sat down and hit that record button. I've been wanting to create something like this for a really long time. You're like Jess, spill it. Like what are you talking about? You might've seen it on my stories, but this is the very first sisterhood chat podcast episode and I wanted to bring some people who had been in the sisterhood since the very beginning. We're now a year and a half into having this community open and these women who are in today's episode are here to share some of their insights, what they do in this world, what they think and how they feel. And the beautiful thing about this community is that we all think and see and feel things so differently. So we have a variety of perspectives where we can really learn from each other, connect with each other and see and feel things so differently. So we have a variety of perspectives where we can really learn from each other, connect with each other and see the world through other sisters eyes. And today's episode just feels so special. I was editing it on the plane down to Barbados and I just couldn't help myself from feeling all of the emotions that I was feeling while we recorded it, because I've been wanting to do this for so long. These women are incredible, this community is incredible, and to see it come to life, even in a podcast episode like this, is just like the most beautiful thing. So I'll stop gushing over them and we'll get into the episode so you can hear it too. But this is just a real raw conversation, just like when we would have in the sisterhood on our monthly sisterhood chats In May.
Speaker 1:We have some really exciting things coming up with our workshop with Katie Saltzman, figuring out how to have this balance. What do we need to prioritize when it comes to our health and our confidence as we step into our busy lifestyles that we have. And then we also have our very first healthy Saturday that we'll be doing with my very good friend, melanie, who's coming in to do a yoga class for us all. Virtually so wherever you are in the world, you can tap into these. We have our morning club, our sisterhood chats, our biz chats. We have so many different opportunities for you to connect with incredible people and also to practice using your voice, practice stepping into your confidence. This is a space for you to do that, and I always wanted it to be a place where you would get a chance to use the mic too.
Speaker 1:So these will be monthly chats that come out on the podcast, just so you know. If you're in the sisterhood, you'll have an opportunity to come on too. Every month we'll have different people to come and share their stories and share their voices, because I think we need to have more examples of women saying exactly what's on their heart, saying exactly what they're thinking, and using their voice in. However that comes out, even if it's shaky, we're going to still use our voices, and so I'm so excited to bring this episode to you. I will put all the information for the sisterhood and for you to sign up when doors open on May 1st, so they'll only be open for a few days. If you're already on the wait list, I can't wait to let you in, but until then, here is the very first sisterhood chat podcast episode.
Speaker 1:Hello, hello, welcome to the Selfish Confidence Podcast. We have a fun, something different, a fun group up in here today, and we have never done this before, but it's something that I've been wanting to do for a really long time. So welcome, sisters. How are you doing? Hi, how are you? We're doing so good. Everyone's like I don't know. Do I talk yet? I don't know no-transcript.
Speaker 2:the charm Third time is a charm. I've been part of the sisterhood for what like a year and a half now, since the beginning of time, since the beginning it started.
Speaker 1:Yes, when it was like a course first and then I said, hey, all these course people, this is going to be a community page. And then it became a community page.
Speaker 2:Yeah, A beautiful community page, a beautiful community. I by day work in operations and production management for a media and podcasting company and I'm trying to find the rest of my life that isn't just work, and the sisterhood has been a part of that to kind of like explore who I am outside of work and career. So that's what brings me here.
Speaker 1:I like how you said and by day I do this. And then I was going to be like well, what do you do by night? What?
Speaker 2:is it in the evening?
Speaker 1:Spicy. I love it. We're so glad that you're here, and I always knew that I wanted Jamie to be a part of this first Sisterhood chat because, again, she was in that first like ever. It was a course that I wanted Jamie to be a part of this first sisterhood chat because, again, she was in that first like ever. Uh, it was a course that I had created and I'm so glad that you're here and that you're still a part of it and that you are. What did we call it back then? Like a founding sister, one of the founding sisters the founding sisters, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. Uh, m's you want to share? Next, tell us a little bit about you yeah, my name's emily.
Speaker 3:Um, I am a mom first and foremost. First and foremost, if you hear kids running around in the background. That's why, um, I've also been part of the sisterhood since it first started almost two years ago, which is crazy to think about. Um, I was just thinking about how much has changed since first joining the um sisterhood this morning and I was like, oh my gosh, like there's been so much. But I do virtual assistant work and am officially, as of this past week, a full not really full-time, but like solely a solo entrepreneur, which is really exciting. So, yeah, running my virtual assistant business, m? Yeah, and just kind of doing all that stuff.
Speaker 1:And you're right. So much has changed since that first community that we created and it's wild to see and to watch. And now she just has this like three-month-old sitting on her while she's recording this like wild superpower over there. I love it. Thanks, em Meg. What's up how you doing?
Speaker 4:I'm good thanks how are you it's?
Speaker 4:great to be here. Very good, your first podcast. Yeah, my first guest on a podcast. It's both exciting and a little nerve-wracking. But I'm really glad to be here because I still remember when we ran into each other in a lineup at an event and we're like I think I overheard you say something about Canada and I'm like I'm Canadian too, and we kind of turned around and started just like jabbering about being Canadian and we're like let's follow each other on Instagram and realized that we already were and had been for some time. And then, I don't know, I just kind of like discovered a little bit more. I was like she's definitely someone I want to hang out with and get to know better and that's kind of how I've found the sisterhood, and so that was like in October 2022. And I joined shortly after and it's just, it's been awesome getting to know everybody else in the community.
Speaker 1:When we were chatting this morning and you're like, I just looked back at my emails, it was October 2022. And I was like I don't even. I didn't even realize that I was taking members at that point, cause I thought I had only opened the doors in December. But you proved me wrong. It's been a long time.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's been. It's been a long time, but a good time. Like Emily said, so much has changed in the last year and a half.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Can you tell us about you Meg?
Speaker 4:Yeah, so, like Jamie said, by day, I'm a mining engineer, so I've done a lot of work in technical services and operations leadership and right now I'm doing more continuous improvement work.
Speaker 4:But I've been thinking a lot about how, as much as I love my job, I don't want my whole identity to be tied into my job, and so I've been thinking a lot about how how to describe myself when people ask me just just like you did, jess is like how to describe myself and I mean I'm mom and so, like Emily, if you hear a little jingling in the background or barking, it's because I've got my dog right beside me and we'll see, we'll see how she reacts through this. I love running, like trail running, especially out in the forest. I've gotten, especially through the sisterhood, gotten involved with watercolor painting and I'm a quilter and stuff, so getting trying to get in touch with my creative side and, uh, yeah, I love being outdoors, love being, even love being in the kitchen, cooking, um, making healthy foods and and trying new recipes. And yeah, I think that's how that's what I'm trying to frame is like, how do I identify myself and what's that identity I want to portray?
Speaker 1:a mom or, okay, I am you know, a coach or this or that, and it's it's harder to figure out who we are without those titles.
Speaker 1:I love that you brought that up and Meg, you also being one of those people who I wanted to have on here because you had been a part of this for so long and you always applied everything. Like one thing I loved about watching Meg's journey is she's applied the stuff and she does the things and she's just come so far and like, even as I watch all three of you and I'm just over here like crying because like, hello, that's what it's like hanging out with me, but it's just so cool. So I have a question quickly for Em and Jamie, where Meg kind of shifted it away from what work was it's going to? You're going to hate this question, jamie, I know it. But like if you could be seen as someone outside of your title, like if you could be seen as I don't know anything, what would you want that to be? And it doesn't matter if that's who you are now, but like what would you want that to be?
Speaker 2:Because you hate me for that question. I know it. I knew it. It's like the question what do?
Speaker 2:you do for fun, jamie, that question well, I, I love Meg, that you because that's the hardest thing is like, how do you summarize yourself in in like 10 seconds, 15 seconds, that elevator pitch? I went to a conference this weekend that you know I hadn't seen these people in like five years and it's like, what are you doing now? Like, what are you up to? What does life look like? And like, how do you say that in 30 seconds when you know they're going to move on to the next conversation because there's going to be another person that they haven't seen in a while and they're going to ask the same question?
Speaker 2:And you know, I thinking about it so much, like and I don't I'm not prepared to get emotional right now, but like that friendship has become so important to me in my adult life that that's, that's the thing that um matters the most to me right now and and has for for a while now.
Speaker 2:But like, that's like I I'd rather, you know, tout myself as like the go-to friend, or you know, something like that, something that um that matters to other people. Um, I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I've just, you know, I grew up in in a world where, like, career was the thing, the number one thing I think most of us have. And so, um, to even consider what what that looks like outside of being able to say what you do for a living, you know and not, I think the confidence piece is like not coming off as like I'm boring, Like I read books, you know, that sort of thing. But yeah, it's one of those things that it's just like I'm so much more than this one thing, but like, how do you fit that into a brief moment in conversation?
Speaker 1:A hundred percent. I totally agree with that too. It's like we think it has to be instant. I was on a podcast recording the other day and she asked that she's like so that's what you help women do figure out who they are outside of. You know these titles that were given but like who is Jess? And I was just like shut up, I help other people do that. I don't want to think about that and it's hard to like fit it into like a box for me. I told her that I just like to sit in the woods and talk to the animals in the trees and that's Jess. And she was like okay, you know, sometimes you just got to hang out in the woods, em, do you know who you'd want to be like outside of that title?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like my go to is always to say like I just want to be a good mom, but that's also just kind of another type, Like obviously I love being a mom, but it is kind of just another title that I can like kind of hide myself in a lot of the time. So I feel like I've also, similarly to you, Jamie, have been feeling a call to be like, to really connect into my friendships lately, Like and I will see. I think Jess, you had a podcast episode recently where one of the guests said, like if you can see it in somebody else, it's because you have it in yourself. And I've always looked at people with really close friendships and be like why can't I make friendships like that? Like I don't have those types of friendships. And then I was like, well, maybe I have the ability to like I just don't like tap into it.
Speaker 3:So I've been kind of trying to like tip toe my ways into like getting more vulnerable, even just asking, like other moms that are local to hang out, which always feels scary to me or like doing things for, like, family members. When, like I was postpartum and people were bringing me meals, I was like, oh, I really liked that, Like I can do that for other like why don't I do that for other people? And just kind of finding those like little things that I can do for other people, even though I feel really uncomfortable when I do it and I'm like don't say thank you, Don't make a big deal about it, because then I'm going to feel really awkward about it, because then I'm going to feel really awkward Like just let me like do this for you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I love, I love that, yeah, and for that to be the focus on friendships, like I think that's why we're all a part of the sisterhood too, right, like we want these quality friendships and everybody who's on here actually, well, jamie and I are close, like geologically, so like everybody else it's from all over. Like we span over six time zones in the sisterhood, so like we can't just go and grab a coffee or, you know, read a book together or whatever. But it's nice that you're trying to focus on that, like in your everyday, regular life too. And I know, meg, that's been something you've been working on a lot too, with friendships and with your running group with your running group.
Speaker 4:Yeah, a lot of like. I think it's about connection. That's what I've been trying to focus on is the quality of the connection and vary that. So trying out different groups, like Emily said, is trying out different local groups, and sometimes it's a good fit and sometimes it isn't. Or sometimes you have to, you know, even with local running groups, for example. Or sometimes you have to, you know, even with local running groups, for example, when I moved to where I'm living right now, that was how I tried to find new friends, because, especially as an adult, it's hard to make new friends.
Speaker 4:It's not the same, as you know, when you're in elementary school. It's just whoever happens to be, like sat beside you, suddenly becomes your best friend. Well, it doesn't work that way, and especially I work remotely, so even just trying to connect with people in an office, for example, is a lot more challenging. So trying to get out into the community, meet people with common interests and sometimes I've gone and I have to go multiple times to make friends it's not just suddenly you click on the first meeting and now you've got this circle of people that you're going to hang out with. Um, and sometimes you go multiple times and you never click and you just have to kind of say, okay, I've tried this. It's not the right place for me, but I like trying all the different, different um spaces.
Speaker 4:I would say, whether it's in person or you know.
Speaker 4:Know, that's one of the things I like so much about the sisterhood is that we have so many different ways of connecting.
Speaker 4:Like I love, you know, I love morning club and just like, even though we don't talk on morning club, we're there and I feel like we're together and I, you know, you get a little glimpse of people's daily life and it feels like they're there with me and I'm doing things together and there is still some kind of connection. Whether it's that or whether it's just our, you know, our sisterhood chats and being able to just get on a Zoom call and find out about each other and how's your week going and or what are you struggling with and work through it. I think over time, that's how you build connection with each other and it's been fantastic, like, even if we aren't geographically together, like, for example, I've only met Emily once in real life and I still feel like super close to her and like I could call her up anytime, or she could call me if we're working through something. Or even this week we shared a recipe and I made her famous baked oatmeal and stuff. So it's just those little things make you feel so much more connected.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, I 100% agree. Would everyone here what's the word I'm thinking of? Describe themselves as an introvert? Because I know I would. People don't believe it. I see some nods from Evan Meg Jamie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think about this sometimes, especially going to live events in person, real life things. For me it's that introvert that expresses as an extrovert temporarily and then has to retreat afterwards. So I do get a lot out of, and it depends on who's in the room too, I think. Um, you know, some, some rooms are energizing and others maybe not as much. So introvert that expresses as an extrovert in uh you know, depends on the environment, sort of thing with the right people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always think that too, because people are always surprised when I say that I am, but I think the sisterhood also attracts a lot of introverts because we like to be home too. Right, we do things we like to socialize, we like to, you know, but we also like to be home and for those of us who are local, like we do have events that we can go to in person too, but it is, I do feel like we attract a lot of introverts in here, which is beautiful, cause that's what I like to do, like if we could all just like sit on Zoom and read books together, like I'd be down. It's like craft day, like we could have a craft book day.
Speaker 4:But I think it's also, like Jamie said, it's like I feel like when I'm in the room I am super excited to be there, like I'm thinking of sometimes like when we've gotten together and we have a group lunch, like I am excited and pumped to get together and hug everybody and just chat and it's a loud, exciting environment. But as soon as we leave that I'm like all right, I need an hour in my room alone, or like I need the evening to quiet down. And that's the thing I can take advantage, like Jamie said, of take advantage of the opportunity to be out there. And so people will think I'm pretty outgoing or I'm pretty confident in, you know, speaking in front of the group or or meet, meeting people. But it's an intentional effort to connect and then I need to recharge.
Speaker 1:Same. Yes, and actually now that you mentioned the lunch too, I haven't told you guys this, but I am planning a sisterhood lunch for speak up on the Saturday before we do the VIP. You'll have some time in between to recoup, but we are going to do anyone who's in the sisterhood I'll get invited to this. Like special, I want to say secret lunch, secret lunch for sisters, um, here in the city so, which everybody I know is on the call here, is going to be at the event. So it'd be really cool for us to have a lunch together with just our, our sweet, intimate sisters. So I have a couple of questions that I thought would be really fun to chat about. But, like, if you could go back and give your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Does anybody feel like starting? Put it, put the ball on your court.
Speaker 2:I can totally start this one.
Speaker 1:She knows.
Speaker 2:It didn't take me long when I, when I heard that question, to like, um, think of a hundred things that I would have said to my 18 year old self Um, and it's funny, cause I recently, um restarted therapy again and so, in that is sort of this uh piece of getting to know different parts of yourself and, um, reparenting yourself and all of that sort of thing, and so, um, the first thing that came to mind was like I would tell my 18 year old self, like therapy is a good thing, it's not, it doesn't mean you're weak, like get to know yourself, all of that sort of thing. So that was the number one thing. And then, related to what I said earlier, is like I didn't realize at 18, how important my female friendships would be as an adult, like how much it's like replaced family in some, in some ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you have like friends that you from high school, that you still are very connected to right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it's probably been if I did the math, like getting close to 30 years that I've been friends with, with some of them, and you know I see their children as my nieces and nephews and you know when they're there for you through hard times, and I see those friendships developing in the sisterhood too.
Speaker 1:I love that and I think, too, like what beautiful advice about therapy, because oftentimes we do think of it as broken and sometimes our parents can make that feel right. Like that therapy means that we're broken, but like so proud of you for doing that work and I agree that is like great advice. My 18 year old self would have loved to hear that. For sure I feel like I have. I don't want to call on em in case the kids are screaming at the back that's why I was like I'm gonna unmute because they're being quiet right now.
Speaker 3:Uh, I think I would definitely tell my 18 year old self that, um, to take a look around the people that you're hanging out with, and if they you're only hanging out with them because you're like going out drinking and partying, that they're probably not the friendships for you and there's probably more constructive things you could be doing with your time that will actually benefit you instead of, yeah, the endless party cycling, and that you can be fun without those things, because I think for a long time, I thought I was only fun if I was drinking, and it's not the case oh yeah, that is great advice.
Speaker 1:So many head nods too. We were all just like, yeah, because at 18 that was the thing, right, like you'd get drunk with your friends and you thought it was fun to do crazy things like underage drink. You know, we don't we don't tell people to do that now, obviously don't underage drink. I don't think there's that many underage people who listen to the podcast, but still don't do it. It's not fun, that's great advice.
Speaker 4:Em well, and if I could kind of build on that, I'd almost flip it the opposite, because I didn't drink when it's not fun. That the the advice I was going to give to my 18 year old self was only you are you and you are unique and you are going to find the people who like you for who you are and you don't have to like change who you are to fit in. So if you know, if drinking is not for you, that's okay. You can still be fun without that and you will find people who will include you regardless of that. And if that's what you're trying to like, you're trying to fit into that group and that's not for you, that's okay. Or you know, whatever your talents are, it's okay to lean into those, even if they aren't common for other people. Or if you feel like you're really weird, you will find other people who are equally as weird or who like you for your weirdness.
Speaker 4:And I think for me that was a big thing. I was trying to figure out where I fit in, how to find friends that appreciated me for who I was, and you know it was something I struggled with then. I have struggled with it since then, but, looking back, even just the reassurance that in my 20s and 30s I am going to find my people, I'm going to find, like I'm going to find, my best friend and it's going to be worth it to wait and make sure that those are like the good relationships and it's in being me and my authentic self and the appreciation they're going to have, versus trying to change myself. Yeah, we don't want fake friends.
Speaker 1:It's like it's sometimes so scary to put that real version of us even because we know they're a little bit weird, but sometimes so scary to put that real version of us even because we know they're a little bit weird, but it's scary to put it out there. But the right people. Jamie Ray Sarant, do you want to add or is you're the weird friend that I met?
Speaker 2:Maybe a little column A, a little column B, but no, I just wanted to add to that because I think so much. We think we need to be liked by everyone, and whether that's a conscious thought or not, it doesn't really matter but we have this sense of wanting to be a part of everything with everyone and like it's actually impossible to be friends with everyone. Like you don't have capacity as a human to have. You know more than I don't know what it is, but I think there's like even been studies on how many close friendships or relationships that you can have capacity wise, but it's it's totally fine to not be liked by everyone. Like because you can't be liked by everyone, it's impossible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always struggled with that growing up too, because it's like I wanted to be liked and I was definitely a weird kid. And I think now, like I am so emotional just watching even this conversation a small group of us hanging out here but like beautiful, close friendships that I have with each of you, is just like the coolest, the coolest thing I've ever experienced. So this is like a surreal moment. Hanging out with you guys here on the mic this morning, I was thinking the advice that I would have oh, did you have something to add, Jamie?
Speaker 2:Go ahead, I'm like it just reminded me tell your friends you love them. That's something else I would tell my 18-year-old self is tell your friends you love them.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Well, why don't you just set the waterworks already? Get me going over here I learned that from you, though. I do. I'm the. I always thought it was like a weird thing that I would tell people I love to them. You're right. Um, it's not weird, because I do love each and every one of you. I think Emily and I will like be voxering at the end of all of our voxers like hey, love you, bye but, jess, I think you also do it in an authentic way.
Speaker 4:Like I think that's important too is not just saying it to everybody, but like you mean it. You know, when you say something like to Jamie's point, you can't love everybody, you can't be friends with everybody, but when you are and you know that that's an authentic relationship, make sure that they know about it, because it means so much more than when people just throw things out there and you know it's not really genuine. When it is, we can feel it.
Speaker 1:It's interesting that you guys bring up love, because what my advice was was tell my 18-year-old self it's not love. Like, don't waste your time with that guy. Like, don't waste your time with that relationship, it's not love. Because I did waste time with some deadbeats and now, knowing what I have that was coming in a short period of time, I met my husband at 21,. Like it's love, right? And that wasn't. And so that would be my advice to the 18 old girl who was always chasing love, was always chasing like the perfect relationship, and it just was not it. And I didn't see that until, thankfully, he dumped me, praise the Lord. So I have another fun question that I just think it'd be fun to have some conversation about dreaming.
Speaker 1:I'm a big dreamer. I love to sit in my office here and just like think about things that maybe will never happen or maybe they will. I don't know, it's just fun to dream. But like, if you won 10 million dollars tomorrow, what would you spend it on? Does anyone know? Like right off the top of their head, because I feel like I know I could spend it easily. I'm no. She's like yeah, I know, yes.
Speaker 3:I travel, probably just going. I would love to just visit all of the places and being able to take like Greg and the kids with me would be so fun. And it's just so funny to Jess that you're talking about dreaming because, like after your podcast episode Thursday, I was like Greg and I were talking in the car. I was like wouldn't it be so fun to just like buy a train ticket and take a train across the country or something? And he's like there's no way we could do that and I'm like I know, but I'm just like saying like sitting it out there, like just dreaming, like it's fine to just like think things up. So I feel like it's like, even if you have people in your life who maybe aren't dreamers, life who maybe aren't dreamers, you just have to dream for a little bit sometimes oh yeah, I think that would be super fun.
Speaker 1:Like you know, those people who like go to the airport and they just like get a ticket, like wherever the next plane is going, like I would love to do that, although it'd be really hard, but like that'd be cool. So where do you want to go, m like where is it I?
Speaker 3:would love to go like bougie, backpacking across europe. Like I don't want to like sleep in a tent or anything but like I would like to go across Europe that'd be so cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, with the kids are we all going? Sure, I think it's a childhood retreat backpacking across Europe we're all, we're all going. Who else knows, jamie? You know, I feel like you know what you're spending it on oh, I totally.
Speaker 2:Well, you know how I started like self-directed investing about a year ago now, and so the woman that I'm learning from, bridget Casey often she gets asked by people like I'm I'm coming into like a $300,000 windfall, like how should I, how should I spend it, or that sort of thing, and and she actually like breaks it down percentage wise.
Speaker 2:So I actually I do know like 10% of that would be like totally fun money. Whatever I want to blow it on, which is like a million dollars, which is a fair amount, right, and the rest of it would be invested, but in different areas. So there'd be investment for my future, which would include travel. Like don't get me wrong, that is a top priority in my life. But also one of my like sort of like deep seated desires is to have like some kind of ongoing bursary or fund or something in my name, which Sounds a little bit egotistical, but that's where that's how I want to be able to like contribute to the world. So some of that would be invested in order to keep making money, in order to keep being able to donate. So, but a million dollars to just have fun with, you know, that's. That's a lot of travel.
Speaker 1:I love the bursary idea too, but like I think that that is like a beautiful dream. I've always thought of that, like I'd love to be able to just drop money on things that I truly feel invested in, and I think that like that's a really cool. I would have never thought to answer it like that and I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but definitely, definitely, invest the big chunk of money so that it keeps making more money, so that you can keep donating, because dropping, you know, like writing a million dollar check for something right now, is cool, but like what if you could like keep writing checks over and, over and over again?
Speaker 1:If I win the $10 million lottery tomorrow, I'll ask I'll call you up and be like, hey, what should I do with this? Because I'd be like throw it and I wouldn't throw it. I'm pretty smart with things, but I would do some fun stuff. I have a house that I have a piece of land close to here that I really want. It is nowhere near $10 million, so I'd probably only need the million. The rest I'd be okay to put in other things. But that's what I want this piece of land in particular and to build my dream house on it. It'd be so cool.
Speaker 4:What about you, meg, do you know? I feel like I would kind of piggyback on some of what Jamie just said is I was thinking about this. Well, I have thought about this a lot and as much as I love my job and the contribution that I feel like I'm making, I would love to be able to not have to depend on that as the source of income, and so I'd like to and I would invest a portion of it to be able to, whatever I choose to do, be able to do that long into the rest of my life, so that I'm not dependent on having to work to be able to do whatever I want. So it's kind of coming up with what I'll call like time freedom and thinking of that. I would love to travel, like Emily said, I definitely I already do kind of what I consider the bougie backpacking, like hotels versus hostels or versus camping backpacking, and like trains and cars versus hitchhiking, that kind of thing, but keep doing that around the world with my husband, or even just to have like the time freedom to like, for example, my family has a cottage, so to be able to just go to the cottage and not worry about well, it's Friday night to Sunday night kind of thing, like we could go anytime, just hang out, be able to wake up in the morning with the quiet of the lake.
Speaker 4:Go for a canoe or kayak, like just hang out, be able to wake up in the morning with the quiet of the lake, go for a canoe or kayak, like just be out in nature and quiet.
Speaker 4:Um, go hiking, trail running, anything like that, even just doing some of the creative stuff like quilting more or painting more, and not trying to fit that into little pockets of time right now, like doing it in the morning or in the evening or, you know, taking advantage of weekend mornings right now to try to fit it around work. But I also love Jamie's idea of the, the bursary or scholarship or something I love that I at the moment have the have the ability to make donations to some causes that are important to me, but they're like little bits here and there. Um, I'd love to be able to continue doing that or make a more meaningful impact. I'm not sure what exactly that would look like, but the idea of a bursary or something like that's more sustaining or maybe more meaningful than know the $25 or $50 here or there would be important to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like literally changing someone's whole life with something like that and it being from that education point. I think we can all even picture ourselves in that time of schooling, like how beautiful that would have been. Like I do love that focus a lot, jamie, like that's so cool. So yeah, there's so many, so many fun things I do. What do you think, meg?
Speaker 4:Oh, and I was just gonna say and that made a big difference, like I benefited from scholarships through university and so I think the idea of giving back and being able to pass on what I benefited from would be so incredible. So I think it's a great idea. Jamie, I know I can tell you how much those kinds of things make a difference in people's lives.
Speaker 1:So fun, so fun. I love dreaming Like again, are we going to win 10 million dollars more? We don't know, we don't know, but it's nice to know, it's just nice to think about, like, it's just so fun. So we kind of already talked about this too with that advice piece. But, like, if you could be remembered for one thing, what would it be? I thought about this a lot and I thought it would always be like the capacity to love, like how much I can love people and see people, like I'd love to be known for that. Like I think that would be a really cool thing. It's a big question do you guys know what you'd want to be remembered for if it was only one thing?
Speaker 2:it's a really tough convert, like a tough question, because it's like what do you want your obituary to say? Yeah, like that's, and you know, I don't know if you've ever read an obituary, but it's like, and they're kind of so general sometimes. So it's like, you know, do you just want to be remembered as just like being a good person, a good heart, for than it is to identify something in myself that I want to be known for?
Speaker 1:That's a good point. It is hard to see that like one thing, because often we can't see it like it's what other people see. You're so right. I never really even thought of it like that. I've. I've read an obituary before and I have that. I've.
Speaker 1:I've read an obituary before and I have it is very generic, like right, it's like all of the kids' names, all the grandkids' names and their partners, and like it's very simple. I think about this is going to sound really morbid, but like I think, even just like from my dad when he ever passes, like I know that place is going to be filled with people, and like I do think about how he has shown the world, like his capacity for love, in a really unique and beautiful way. So I guess it's not necessarily even like the thing that I want to be remembered for, but it's like the impact that you make or like the people, and I guess each person is probably going to see you differently too, Like you might be remembered for the person who gave the best hugs or whatever, but you're probably known each from each person like something different, because you show each person something different. So meg do you know?
Speaker 4:this kind of makes me think of two different ways of answering the question one of, like what you were just talking about and like the way that other people see you and so on, and the general, like how general some obituaries are. Um, something that I've practiced a bit and I even recently was thinking I need to do it again, it's because it's been a long time is like think about what I'm, what, what I'm most proud of, um, and that sometimes that's based on accomplishments, but sometimes that's based on accomplishments, but sometimes it's based on relationships or you know, changes in myself. Like, when I think of talking of the generalities of like an obituary, I think even just being known as being very present with the people around me would be really important to me, and so it's like being proud of that, I think would be important. So it's kind of reframing what. What are you proud of and what which kind of leads to like what would you like to be remembered for? And it could be accomplishments, like it could be that you've I don't know achieved something like I'm sure. I'm sure there's people who have, like made some kind of major medical breakthrough and that's what they're going to be remembered for. Or you know, even I'm thinking of you, emily, like with your kids. They're like just the fact that you've got your kids and they're going to be amazing people and like what kind of a mom or what have you taught them and how have they grown, and so on, is going to be part of the legacy that you're leaving. Even I've thought of it in terms of like I'm really proud of having made a difference in the lives of the dogs that we've adopted, you know, and so some of it's that you know, and so some of it's that. The other way I was thinking of this was I thought of, like what's the most meaningful compliment that I've received? And then that kind of gives how others perceive me.
Speaker 4:And one that really sticks in my head is when I was leaving a job where I was managing a whole bunch of people, one of the people I was managing came to me and said that he saw me as a very kind leader and that meant a lot to me.
Speaker 4:And I've remembered that because it meant to me and it meant to him that it wasn't just I wasn't there just for the job, but I really had a vested interest in the people on my team and I really cared about the people on my team and about their success and to me as a leader, that was really important. For me it wasn't just to get the job done and to hit the numbers and targets and so on, but it was to be there for the team and to be remembered for that, and to me that's so much more important than you know. Did we hit some kind of statistic? Anybody can hit those statistics, but it's like how did you impact the people around you? So I think I would focus on, like how I want to be remembered is is that impact that I've had on people around me? And I'd want them to think of me as having been present and really having cared about them.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, I love that and I yeah, I see the head nods here too. I think it's that present piece is also like because we can be so distracted in today's world and everything going on. It's it's a gift to be in someone's present and for them to be present like yeah, which is one thing I love about podcasting is because all of us are here and even with Emily and her kids running around, like she's present, she's here, but like we don't have our phones in our hands, like we're focused, we're here, we're on this in this conversation, and there's not many places that we get to do that. I was talking with someone about that the other day. It's like the movie theater and podcasting, like these are probably the two places where I'm not like also having my phone close by or am able to do, you know, multiple things at once. It's like I'm here and I'm present in this conversation and I'm just so grateful that we can do that and be here together. And, yeah, emily with her juggling her kids and being present.
Speaker 1:It's like such so fun to watch. When we put these videos out later, people are going to be like, oh my gosh, emily with all her babies I love it. Okay, can we share a little bit too? We'll get ready to wrap up here, but we're going to put together. You know, what do you love about the selfish sisterhood? And also, where can people find you? If, after this conversation, they're like I love what you said.
Speaker 1:Honestly, it makes people's day when you send them a message and say I really connected with this piece that you said on that podcast because we've put time to hang out here and be together and sometimes you feel like you're just well for us. We're talking to each other, which is so fun. But when you're here by yourself, sometimes you feel like you're talking to a wall and you don't really always realize that there's someone on the other side. So if you connected with someone on this in the sisterhood here today, send them a message, check them out online. But what do you love about being in a selfish sisterhood? And, yeah, where can people connect with you? Jamie, do you want to start?
Speaker 2:Sure, um, I think one of the things that I love most about the selfish, uh, sisterhood is, um, the sort of opportunity to explore new things and and I'll give, um, you know, like the, the workshops that we've done and things like that as the example um, in a safe environment, like in an environment where, um, you know, you might decide, like, find out that you really love this new thing that you've, that you've been exposed to, or really not like it, and it's safe to, to communicate that one way or the other in the group. Um, yeah, and just like, really generally the, the connections I mean everyone that you bring together, like I think we can all agree that you bring together some of, like, the best people out there. Um, yeah, that's. That's probably the the couple of things that I like the most, and if you're looking for me, you can find me on Instagram, jamie Lee Nickerson, and you'll probably want to spell that in the show notes.
Speaker 1:I definitely will, 100%. I'll be writing that in the show notes. I love that. You mentioned, though, that you feel safe there, because it's something that I obviously strive for and wanted to feel that way, and I don't feel like I can put it out there and be like it's a safe space, because, who knows right, maybe it is for us and we love it, and maybe it's not for someone else, but I love that it is for you and that you get to explore fun things. Like I feel that way too. It's just fun that we can try things that we might not always try. So how about you, em?
Speaker 3:I love like all of the different opportunities to connect with other people, because it is like I think, megan, you were saying it's hard to make friends as an adult. So having a space where we all can come together conversation is kind of facilitate. Like it's pretty free reign, like in the sisterhood chats and business chats and things, but there's also like you always have really good questions to spark conversation, so there's never like the awkward. What do I say now, because that's always something I struggle with is like the small talk, and we don't even have small talk. It's usually about deeper things. But, um, yeah, like when those little like moments of silence pop up is when I start to panic and I'm like I'm supposed to be saying something. So like not having those moments is really, really helpful.
Speaker 1:I love it and I love the silent pockets because then it encourages someone who's like been like quiet in the corner to like maybe finally like hit the unmute button. But I know it makes some people uncomfortable, I totally get that.
Speaker 1:And I also think yeah, emily's, like it's me, I'm the one that it makes uncomfortable. I, yeah, I can totally say that too. These chats can be like we can have some service level stuff, or like maybe we're sharing recipes or we're talking about our day or we're talking about different things or we're talking about the color of our poop, like it could go anyway. But then even just the conversation we had the other day was like a really deep conversation even about, like the patriarchy and what's going on in society and and women's rights and all of these things that could go all spectrums. Like we have no idea where the conversations are gonna go and that is like the most fun thing em you forgot to share where, where we can find you oh shit, sorry.
Speaker 3:Uh, my, you can find me on instagram. It's at um mbrooktulia, which just will spell for you in the show notes as well.
Speaker 1:yes, yes, I promise, I promise I will. What about you, meg? What do you love about the sisterhood and where can we find you?
Speaker 4:I love honestly like the messy conversations and like the messy work that we do because, like you were just saying, it's sometimes it can be kind of superficial or surface-level conversations that we have, which I think is important in any relationship. But sometimes we go deep fast and while that can be scary or I know, you know that I've been super uncomfortable with that sometimes it's like it's the conversations that we need to have, but we don't often like they're uncomfortable, so people in general don't want to have them or feel that they can't have them or they don't want to burden other people with those emotions or with those challenges. And it's not that anybody or at least this is I don't I don't feel like anybody's using it as like a poor me situation. It's really a constructive environment where it seems like everybody genuinely cares and wants to help and wants to hear you out, but it's not in a like nobody's minimizing how you feel. Um, people are listening and empathizing and want to help you work through it.
Speaker 4:And I know you, jess, especially. Like you challenge us with questions and like explain this more, tell me more about this, like let's dive into that type of things that we probably don't do other than with a therapist and it's nice to do it in a group of friends and, like you said, it's it's like a safe space, but without saying this is a safe space because anybody can say that. And I've been in groups where we say this is a safe space, you can say anything you want and you don't really feel like that, like it's not really, it's not really a safe space. You kind of have this feeling that people are going to go out of this meeting and be like can you believe? She just said that? But I don't get that sense at all.
Speaker 4:With the sisterhood, if anything, I find people you know, maybe even weeks later we'll just message you and be like hey, I remember you said this and I was thinking of you, or this reminded me of you, or you know, you send a little note or something like that and it's just, it shows people genuinely care and are helping you work through whatever it is, so you can be your full, authentic, messy self on that messy journey and you're not alone in it, which I think is so valuable and it's through I mean, emily kind of alluded to it, but it's like all the little connections, like I like that there's so much variety, like we have the sisterhood chats, we have the morning club, we have the workshops.
Speaker 4:We have, you know, there's so many different ways of connecting, even, like you said, for people who are local, you've got, you know, local events or I'm really looking forward to speak up, but, you know, to get together where we actually can have some in person. But there's some virtual some where we like spill all our feelings, others where we're just going about our day and not even talking with each other. So there's all these different ways that we can connect and I think it makes those relationships feel so much more authentic and more comfortable. And we've built that base so that when we do come into a conversation and we're working through something, it's so much easier to share it openly.
Speaker 1:I like that you said. Like it's the conversations, the day-to-day conversations that we have sometimes. It's like normalizing some of the things that we're all feeling, we're all thinking we don't talk about in our regular lives because it's taboo to talk about, but like we talk about them and people do actually care, like that is the thing that I love. Like everyone in there and Jamie said this too like I bring together great people and I do, and everybody truly cares. Like you can call up anyone in there right now and be like hey, what are you doing? I just need to talk for a bit, and I think that that's the really beautiful thing. Meg, can you tell us where we can also find you? Where can we find you? What's your address?
Speaker 4:My address. Um, well, you kind of know where I live, but, um, you can find me on Instagram at cartwright underscore Megan, and again, you'll have to spell that out in the show notes, but or on LinkedIn you can probably find me on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1:Thank you all for being here and for taking the time to record this with me and to share all your kind words. I've literally just been sitting over here crying for the whole episode because I'm just like so honored that I get to spend this time with you and that you are all a part of this. I wanted you in this first conversation for a reason because you are magical, magnetic people who've been a part of the sisterhood forever and you are all pieces of what make the sisterhood so great, like it is 100% you, and I'm so thankful for each of you, for your energy that you bring into it all the time. So, thank you, I love you all so much.
Speaker 1:Does anyone have anything they want to add. Before we wrap up, before we close, is there something on your heart that you're just like, yeah, I want to say this join the sisterhood. What?
Speaker 2:are you waiting for I?
Speaker 3:was gonna say come hang out with us in the sisterhood and anything else is just.
Speaker 1:You just want everyone to join. I do too, of course, obviously. Is there anything on your heart that you're like I wanted?
Speaker 4:I just want to share um, I was about to share and then Ozzy started barking. So, um, I just think it's. It's really a unique environment, like the sisterhood is, is something special, like I think the relationships that we build through that, and I think a lot of it is the energy that you put into it, jess. Um, like I was saying earlier, it's really the authentic, genuine interest and concern, um, that you put out there and then therefore, others in the community also gravitate towards that and, and I think, exhibit that. Um, you know it's just, you know, like I keep going back to that word messy, but I feel like it's like we are so almost conditioned in society to appear put together and like we know what we're doing and we've got all our stuff figured out and none of us do um, but we're here and we're trying, and sometimes it's really hard to admit that we don't have it all together and um, or that we're struggling through certain things and so just being able to share that and not feel judged and feel supported, and it's also not a like look at me, I'm struggling, like in a way I don't know, I feel like sometimes it's almost like people want to show how much they're struggling, to make it seem like, like to appear a certain way, and it's not like that in the sisterhood either.
Speaker 4:It's very much. It's just so authentic and we can work through all the messiness, no matter, like whether we literally just rolled out of bed and nobody's wearing bras and we're in our pjs and making our, you know, making our shake in the morning or doing our workout and whatever it is, um, or you know, like, like you can see, even just watching emily wrangling the kids. Sometimes it's like I, I can like, if she can do that, I can do stuff. And if, like, she's showing up here authentically, why, why can't I show up authentically? Like I don't have to, we can have it like having it all together is an illusion and we don't need to be there to be amazing people and inspiring people and doing a great job.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I was just going to say so you can tell that I'm not wearing a bra right now. Is that what you're saying? I'm just joking.
Speaker 4:That's not what I'm saying. I'm also saying, like you can judge whatever you want, because you can only see shoulders down.
Speaker 1:But it is true, Most of the time I am not wearing a bra. But she can't not that she can actually tell she doesn't, she's just saying love it.
Speaker 3:So that's literally why I went and grabbed the flannel I was like I had to put a flannel on, because I think they'll be able to tell I'm not you know what, but you need, you need those puppies out sometimes.
Speaker 1:So it's okay, we're all good here, you can come braless. If you're listening to this, right're like, yes, those are my people that you don't have to put a bra on, you can come and hang out with us. Thank you all for being here, for taking the time this morning to be a part of this, and I'll put everybody's information in the show notes so you can follow these amazing women, connect with them, send them a message and just connect on what it is that you felt so you know, interested in today, or what you felt like you really just could see and hear them, like they really appreciate that. So thank you all for being here. Thank you, jess.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having us, Jess.
Speaker 1:I love you. Thank you, love you.
Speaker 4:Love you too.
Speaker 1:What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.
