As the clock struck midnight on December 31, I took a deep breath—not to brace for a frenetic rush into resolutions, but to celebrate a year of unexpected triumphs, born from a pace that honoured my well-being above all else. Our journey together in this episode uncovers the beauty of authenticity and the courage it takes to stand firm in who we are, especially when societal currents pull strongly towards constant hustle.
Far too often, we unwittingly anchor our value to the relentless wheel of productivity, dimming our vibrational energy and shielding our dreams from the light they deserve. But here, in the safe space of Self(ish) Confidence, we challenge that narrative with the 10-10-10 routine, a testament to the power of small, deliberate actions that kindle the flames of self-belief.
As we look ahead to the live events and the vibrant community initiatives on the horizon, I invite you to embrace the magic within and join me in a collective leap towards a vibrant and self-assured 2024.
Learn more about Confidently You in 12 weeks --> https://jessclerke.com/confidently-you
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
As the clock struck midnight on December 31, I took a deep breath—not to brace for a frenetic rush into resolutions, but to celebrate a year of unexpected triumphs, born from a pace that honoured my well-being above all else. Our journey together in this episode uncovers the beauty of authenticity and the courage it takes to stand firm in who we are, especially when societal currents pull strongly towards constant hustle.
Far too often, we unwittingly anchor our value to the relentless wheel of productivity, dimming our vibrational energy and shielding our dreams from the light they deserve. But here, in the safe space of Self(ish) Confidence, we challenge that narrative with the 10-10-10 routine, a testament to the power of small, deliberate actions that kindle the flames of self-belief.
As we look ahead to the live events and the vibrant community initiatives on the horizon, I invite you to embrace the magic within and join me in a collective leap towards a vibrant and self-assured 2024.
Learn more about Confidently You in 12 weeks --> https://jessclerke.com/confidently-you
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where you can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to the first episode of the Selfish Confidence podcast in 2024. Like holy moly, happy new year to you. How are you feeling? How are you doing? Have you checked in on yourself since the new year has rung in? Do you feel different? Do you feel the same? What is going on? I would love an update on how you're doing, because this year feels different already, but I also think that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as soon as the new year happens, midnight on January 1st, and you're just like okay, I am a whole new person, right? I'm going to start showing up for my habits, I'm going to start doing all the things and I'm going to start being a brand new version of myself. I think, as much as there's so much on social media that helps us get away from that, there's also that extra layer of pressure that puts us still in that mindset when we start to see everybody else on social media, or even friends and family around us who are showing up differently, who are doing all the things, who are showing up for their habits you know, we're only four days into the new year showing up for themselves in that way, and I am so grateful that we have so many expanders around us and people who can encourage us.
Speaker 1:But I also know that sometimes we get trapped in that comparison game. We get trapped in that feeling that we're not enough, that we're not doing enough, and when that happens, it actually puts us at this lower vibrational state that really hurts us even more. We start looking at the past versions of ourselves who didn't show up. We start looking at the pieces of ourselves that aren't good enough and, instead of focusing on what's important and what we need in order to make this new version of yourself that you want to step into happen, we look at all the reasons why it could never happen. And here's the thing when we step out of that energy of comparison and looking at everyone else and setting our goals based on what our best friends set, on what our partner set, we start to think they have to be a certain size. Anyways, you know where I'm going with this. When we start to focus on that instead of actually what we truly want and where we want to go for 2024, it throws us out of alignment. It throws us into a whole different state of being, and I was feeling that this year. I was definitely feeling that, and when it came to looking at 2023, 2023 really slowed me down and sometimes we can think of that as a bad thing. We can think of slow as a negative thing, but I'm starting to see now, as I look at my alignment for this year, that it was the greatest lesson that I could have ever taken into this new year, into this new version of myself, and last year I talked about it a few times on the podcast.
Speaker 1:So if you're new here, I had some health stuff going on. Last year I had SIBO, which is small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. It's just like a really bad gut issue and it won't go into the details of the symptoms because they're not fun, but it slowed me down a lot, especially with fatigue. I had to stop doing a lot of in-person events last year. I had to slow down and just spend a lot more time relaxing, trying to ease my stress, because stress is the main trigger of SIBO. I'm looking back now. It's kind of funny because I'm like, yeah, duh, of course. So maybe if you're already feeling stressed for 2024, listen to this, listen and really really just put everything down. Spend a minute with me, because, as much as I can look at 2023 and see it as a failure, it was not.
Speaker 1:And as I looked at the numbers last night, because I was feeling this energy of being a failure, I noticed that my business was up actually 300% last year and I also spoke on three stages started hosting networking events for business owners in the city, hosted two retreats, had a wonderful experience with a lot of one-to-one clients, with some different group programs and all of these things. There's a lot of beautiful things that happened. A lot of travel. There was so much beauty and gift in 2023. And that all happened even with me taking a little bit of a pause, with me taking a slower down, seeing less clients, doing less in-person events and to still get recognized and to still be seen and to still be working forward. And being up 300% in my business, despite the fact that I was really ill and not doing my best, shows me that we don't have to be hustling all the time. We don't have to be moving in that direction that society tells us. We need to be doing 24 seven in order to see success, you don't.
Speaker 1:So a couple of things that I really wanted to talk to you about today, as we step into this new chapter of being, is asking yourself what it is that you really want and getting really clear on that. First, stop looking at what everybody else wants, but what is it that you actually want? And this was one thing that came up for me a lot in the last couple of weeks as I thought about this like, where do I want 2024 to go? What do I want 2024 to look like? And not because this person's doing their business this way or this person's doing it this way Like what do I actually want and how can I space it out so that I don't get sick again? First and foremost, because that is number one I do not want to feel like I have to take a big leap back in order to make these things happen. But I also want to make sure that I'm not doing too much or putting too much on my plate so that I'm feeling overwhelmed even if I'm not sick. How can I have more space in my schedule to feel really good and to attract the things that I want? And when you get clear on that, that thing that you want If it's one thing, if it's 20 things, it doesn't matter on the things that you want for 2024. What have you been telling yourself about this thing? Do you feel worthy of actually having it?
Speaker 1:I was sitting down and I was reading this morning in the book Get Rich, lucky Bitch by Denise Dunfield Thomas and we were talking all about feeling worthy of certain things and that maybe in this case, in the book's case, talking about money blocks, maybe there's some issues there because we don't feel worthy of actually stepping into some of the things that we want. So we self-sabotage, so we live in a lower vibrational state and we can't actually achieve the things that we want until we feel worthy of them. And I know that that's really hard because we sit in this energy of like. I'll believe it when I see it right. It can be really hard to just like believe that we're worthy right now, even with doing nothing, but that is the energy that we need to sit in.
Speaker 1:Your worthiness and your gifts do not change based on your output. They don't change based on you doing more or showing up differently or, you know, being a certain version of yourself making a certain amount of money. You are worthy exactly as you are right now, without taking any steps. And I know it's hard to believe because we look at last year, we look at a prior version of ourselves, and we say, oh well, that girl sucks so bad. She did this and she did that and she didn't do this and she didn't do that and she never showed up for what she said she would. And she started that workout plan and she never finished it. And she eats cookies for breakfast and all of the things that we tell ourselves that we're not good at because of our actions. And really we can start to shift that really simply for 2024, by starting to believe that we're worthy. And if you're like Jess, okay, yeah, that's great, good for you, good for you, you can just shift your beliefs.
Speaker 1:That's really hard for me. It is for me, too, because I'll do like the point system. I'll look at everything I did and I'm like, okay, I got a 20% of worthiness. Great, I'll put that into my bank, into my piggy bank, and I'll be able to do this and this. But I can't do this because I don't have that much worthiness or I don't have that much self-belief to actually step into that version. But I have enough for these couple little things. I want you to stop that right there. If you're doing that too and again, remember you're not alone, I'm right there with you. It's something that I'm learning every single day.
Speaker 1:But just knowing that you are worthy right now or that you can believe in yourself right now, even without the proof, is that step, that step into really changing your confidence for 2024. You can really feel something new, you can feel automatically more confident by putting a few things in that worthiness bucket, by putting a few things in that belief bucket, and you don't have to change anything other than just like, hey, I believe in myself now. A few things that I've done, and I'm going to share just really quickly a few things that I've done to start to believe in myself a little bit more without changing too many things, as one small actions every single day. So I have something called the 10 10 10. It's 10 minutes of three different activities that I do consistently every single day, and it doesn't have to be perfect. Sometimes it can be at 10 pm that I am finishing things up by doing some reading, and sometimes it can be like first thing in the morning. I am not more worthy if I do it first thing in the morning than if I do it at 10 pm. I'm not more worthy, you know, to do the all three activities in a row or if I spread them out throughout my day. I'm trying to really step away from those ties of worthiness on things like oh, I have the perfect morning routine, great, I'm worthy. No, that's not how it is. It's just a matter of doing these things consistently so that I can actually start to believe in myself, that I show up for myself.
Speaker 1:And if you hire a person who has struggled with this in the past, I want you to make a goal that's so freaking small that you're going to show up for it. Maybe it's one minute of journaling a day, or one minute of reading in your book, or one minute of showering whatever it is for you, it's going to help you to show that you show up for yourself. It's going to help to have that belief right. It's one extra little layer of you starting to believe in yourself and that little layer helps you to raise your vibration a little bit more. And as you raise your vibration a little bit more, you just start to feel more confident. You start to feel more worthy. It's really small actions that do this because, again, you don't have to change anything in order to be worthy of these dreams and these goals that you have for 2024. You just have to believe that you're worthy, and sometimes we got to do some actions in order to see that, in order to feel that.
Speaker 1:So, first and foremost, start adding on a very small habit every single day, even on the weekends, even on your days off, anytime, every single day, something super, super small that you can do just to show yourself that you're consistent, just to show yourself that you can show up okay. And then the next thing I want you to do is to be kinder to yourself, to start to say some nice things to yourself when you look in the mirror and you put your outfit on and instead of automatically thinking, oh well, this outfit would look better if you lost some weight, or I can't believe you. Let yourself get here. You should brush your hair, brush your teeth, whatever you've been telling yourself when you look in the mirror. I want you to shift that into kindness little, little pieces, okay. And if you look in the mirror and you don't believe it, that's okay. You're going to start to believe it as you do it, more and more over time. It doesn't have to be massive things that you're just like, oh girl, I love your butt and really you know that you don't right now, that's okay. We're just going to do it in little, small chunks again, so small that you can start to believe it. So maybe it's like, hey, your eyes look really nice, or I love that outfit that you picked out, or a nice jewelry, or whatever it is for you that just boosts you up a little bit.
Speaker 1:For me, when I was putting on my leggings today because I am living in leggings after the holidays as I was putting on my leggings, I was like, wow, my calves feel really strong. Little things like that. You start to believe and you start to see in yourself and I feel even emotional as I bring this up, because it's really hard for a lot of us, especially if you're a woman in your 30s and your body's changing and everything is just feeling really uncomfortable right now. Saying these little pieces of kindness is really going to help to shift away from the negative things that we've been telling ourselves as we age. Right, because society tells us, as women, that we're unworthy as we get older and we're changing that narrative. That is not true, but these little things that you can be doing for yourself is really going to help you to believe that.
Speaker 1:And if your person is just like I'm not worthy of making the time for a little habit and I'm not worthy of making you know time to be kinder to myself okay, I see a sis that's on you you figure it out. I'm gonna guess, though you listening to this podcast, you probably are not feeling that way, but maybe you're struggling to make that time for yourself. Even though you think you're worthy or would love to do this, you're not actually going to make the time for yourself because you're so busy, right? Your kids come first, family comes first, work comes first, all the things come first. But just think if you were to shift that small thing in 2024, that you came first for one minute or one kind message in the mirror every day.
Speaker 1:If you were to put yourself first a little bit and raise that vibration up, how much easier showing up in this world is going to be, how much better you're going to feel and how much more confident you're going to feel this year. Simple actions go a long way, so I'd love for you to take a minute and send me a message with what that goal is. Maybe it's a little goal, maybe it's a big goal, I don't. I don't care. Whatever you're labeling it, whatever your goal is for 2024, I want you to send me a message so you know you're not alone, because the biggest thing when it comes to your goal is sometimes we don't have someone to hold us accountable. Nobody knows about it.
Speaker 1:That was the biggest thing when I started my podcast. I started the year of confidence and I put it out in the world and I was like Shit, people know about this now, so I have to do it. Just putting it out there, telling someone about it, makes a really big difference, because someone knows it's not just in your head anymore, it's real. So share it with someone, share it with me and really start to step into that worthiness, that that dream can come true, because you believe in yourself, because you know it and part of it too, like I can feel it in my body, like I know this year is going to be a big year and I've been stepping away from, I should say, that fear because the bigness scares me. It scares me so much because I'm like I can't, I'm not the person for this, I can't do this, but I can, and so every day, I just give myself that little reminder that I'm worthy of these big things, that I can do it. It's not that scary and, although I don't believe it, every single day, just stepping into that energy and telling more people about the dream makes a really big difference. So that's what I challenge you to do as we start 2024 and as we start this new season of just stepping into believing in ourselves.
Speaker 1:That's the first piece of confidence. Create a really small habit and do it every single day. Start to be kinder to yourself. Say things in the mirror that you are starting to believe about yourself, that you're beautiful, that you're strong, that you're worth taking time for, and also share that goal that you have with someone, even if it feels scary, even if it feels like absolutely crazy, and you're just like I've never achieved anything like this before. I'm right there with you, sis, me too, that's how I'm feeling this year, but we can still do it. And if you're looking for some extra support and some extra love, by all means, the sisterhood, the doors are open for you.
Speaker 1:We got our vision board workshop this week coming up, which I'm really excited about. We just did goal setting last week. It's totally recorded, so you'll also get access to that and really just stepping into that power and that energy that you're worth spending some time and finding a community and really just solidifying that, which I'm excited for. And then also we have Confidently you, which is our 12-week confidence boosting community. That's going to be starting off on January 15th and I'm really excited for this, as I've been creating this program for you to create your own year of confidence.
Speaker 1:It's a program around action. So, if you're just like I, never take an action. I can dream the dreams, but I never have really brought them to life. This is the program for you. I'm breaking down your confidence into really easy habits every single week and as we try each one, you'll be able to build your own year of confidence by the end and then create a plan for the whole rest of 2024.
Speaker 1:So, if you're sitting here and you don't have the belief in yourself now, this is the program to help you have belief in yourself, because you're going to show up, because I am going to be helping you get there. It's just like I'm just so in awe of the women who have been committing to themselves and showing up for themselves already before we even start the program. And, yeah, it's all about you being confidently you. Oh, I can't, I can't, freaking wait. So I hope you have a wonderful start to your week and that you're starting to be a little kind of yourself, even like right now. Like right now, give yourself a compliment If you're driving like or walking the dog like you don't have to pull a mirror out or anything, but you can be kind even in this moment, like hey, sis, I am a really good driver. Or look at you moving your body today. I'm so freaking proud of you. Those little things that you can say are going to have like the biggest impact as you move forward in 2024.
Speaker 1:I can't wait for all the exciting things that are coming with the selfish confidence podcast, with live events and all the stuff, because your girls got her energy back and she's ready to bring her dreams to life. What's up, sis? I am so glad we could hang out today. If you'd love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.