Ever scroll mindlessly on your phone or make plans you don’t really need, just to avoid confronting your own feelings? I’ve been there too. Today on day nine of our 12 Days of Confidence, let's chat about numbing and avoidance. We'll uncover why it's important to address our feelings head-on, instead of allowing them to simmer under the surface while we distract ourselves. I'll be opening up about my own struggles and how I've learned to tackle them, as we explore ways to boost our confidence and emotional honesty.
As a thank you to my incredible listeners, I'm delighted to offer you a chance to join a brand new program. Hint: It's all about embracing self-love and gratitude. I've been blown away by your enthusiasm and engagement throughout this journey we're on together. So let's keep the positive vibes going, and remember, honesty and self-love are the stepping stones to greater confidence.
All you need to do is enter the secret code word into the link here in our show notes or in our daily email.
Can't wait to reconnect with you all in the next episode!
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Ever scroll mindlessly on your phone or make plans you don’t really need, just to avoid confronting your own feelings? I’ve been there too. Today on day nine of our 12 Days of Confidence, let's chat about numbing and avoidance. We'll uncover why it's important to address our feelings head-on, instead of allowing them to simmer under the surface while we distract ourselves. I'll be opening up about my own struggles and how I've learned to tackle them, as we explore ways to boost our confidence and emotional honesty.
As a thank you to my incredible listeners, I'm delighted to offer you a chance to join a brand new program. Hint: It's all about embracing self-love and gratitude. I've been blown away by your enthusiasm and engagement throughout this journey we're on together. So let's keep the positive vibes going, and remember, honesty and self-love are the stepping stones to greater confidence.
All you need to do is enter the secret code word into the link here in our show notes or in our daily email.
Can't wait to reconnect with you all in the next episode!
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Hello, hello and welcome to day nine of the 12 Days of Confidence. Wow, time is flying by and I'm just enjoying spending every single day with you, really chatting about some of these things that are going to help us to have more confidence this season and step into that version of ourself that we have just been craving for all year. I am right there with you and I want to see how are you doing. How are you doing Nine days in? Are you feeling more confident? Like, how are you doing? I want you to just like, take a quick second, let's do a body scan. We'll go back all the way to day, one Hand in your heart, hand in your belly, just like check in with yourself. Like, how am I doing today? How are you? And you don't have to be fluffy with me, you don't have to hide how you're really feeling. She's like oh, I'm good, good Woo, happy holidays, that's everything so great here. No, we're not doing that. We're going to be real and honest with ourselves, because that's how we have more confidence. We start to trust who we are and what we're feeling and what our body is telling us. So maybe your like shoulders are all the way up into your ears Like shake them out, bring them down a little bit. Maybe you're like sucking your gut in, just let it go, let it all go. How are you feeling today?
Speaker 1:And I know that question can be really hard and really hard to be honest with yourself on, but know the people that are truly asking you that question. Like myself right now. I want to know how you're truly doing. You don't have to hide anything, but in those safe spaces, practice this holiday season actually saying how you're doing. Hey, you know it's been a bit of a hard year, or you know what Things are really great. You know my daughter was just doing this thing and it's just been a really fun year. Whatever it is for you, I want you to be honest with yourself and honest with people. As we step into this holiday season and we're asked over and over again how are you doing?
Speaker 1:And I know people have this fear of being like a Debbie Downer, like no, okay, you're not a Debbie Downer, you're not a whatever you want to insert there. You're you and if you've been going through something, it's a really wonderful time to lean on your support system and really just step into that energy that you were supported and that you're able to ask for help and that you can tell the truth of how you're actually feeling and what you're actually going through. Because today's topic the one that I've been I probably could do a whole 12 day series on something that I could talk about for hours and for days on is numbing right, when we're actually avoiding the things that we need to take action on or we need to face certain emotions. Instead of feeling our emotions, we just like stuff them all the way in, which is why we are so dysregulated and having a really hard time processing emotions and just like grab our phone instead, or grab a drink instead or eat, you know, 18 pounds of gummy bears, which is like my go to. Okay. It's so much easier for us to numb instead of actually facing the things that we're feeling and the tasks we need to do this time of year not even just this time of year in general. Maybe there's like a big list of things you need to finish before the end of the year. It's for work and it's just a really busy season and you need to wrap all this stuff up before 2024 comes. I see you, sis, but so often we find ourselves instead of doing those tasks which will probably only take you a couple hours to do. Instead of doing those, we grab our phone and we scroll, or we make plans with a girlfriend to go out, or we grab the TV remote and watch you know, gilmore Girls for the 18th time this year.
Speaker 1:And as much as we think this is easier avoiding all the things on our lists or facing the emotions of that breakup we just went through or insert the thing that you've been going through that you were just like avoiding, I feel you, because I've been doing it too. This is one that I have been struggling with this year, and even just like the last couple weeks especially. I don't know why, but I'm just like glued to watching videos of dogs getting rescued, especially on farms, and I just like can't seem to crack it. I can't seem to stop. There are things on my list that I want to do. There are things that we're prepping for. Next year is going to be a really big year First international retreat, first big event. There are deposits I need to put down and work that I need to put in, but it's so much easier for me to grab my phone and watch a video of a dog getting rescued, so I can sit on the couch and cry instead of taking that action or doing those deposits or, you know, tracking expenses, all the things in business that we need to do and wrap up for for the end of the year.
Speaker 1:It's easier to grab our phone, it's easier to make plans with other people, it's easier to eat, you know, lunch two hours early so that we don't face the things that we actually have to do. And there are so many more ways to numb than to just grab your phone. I just know it's the most common one, because there's so many people in the sisterhood who say this too. We're like, oh man, I've just been scrolling so much. One, we're addicted to our phones, like let's just put that out there. And two, it just is easier to mindlessly scroll than to take action. Well, we think it's easier to mindlessly scroll than it is to take the action that we need to take. So I want to know, like, what's your screen time telling you? Are you, have you been numbing? And what is it that you're numbing from? And again, this can be other things.
Speaker 1:It's not just about our phones. This could be, you know, your sugar consumption, it can be alcohol, it can be work, spending more time on work so that we avoid the things that are at home. It can be shopping, it can be. There's so many things, and maybe there's something in your life that you notice yourself saying like, oh, I really need it blank right. For some people it's I really need to drink right now. Or, you know, or maybe it's like I need to eat everything in my house, like you're like scavenging through all of the cupboards and the fridge and you're just trying to find something that is going to satisfy this itch that is inside you right now. We think our phone and food and alcohol and all of these things this time of year are going to make that better, but the truth is they're not. We just keep avoiding the things that we need to be facing right now, the things that are going to help us to feel more confident as we walk into the new year, and so I have two questions for you today around this topic.
Speaker 1:The first one is what is your favorite way to numb? Is it, you know, eating a bucket of ice cream? Is it grabbing your phone? What is it for you that helps to satisfy that itch, even if it's for a few minutes? Maybe it's buying a new bag, whatever. For you. What is that thing that helps you to feel a little better right now? What is that thing for you? And the second question I have for you is what are you numbing from? What is the thing you're avoiding? Is it your Christmas shopping? Maybe you don't have a lot of finances this year and you're avoiding your Christmas shopping because you know you can't get the gifts that you would want to get for your friends and family. Or maybe it's you're diving into work so hard because you don't know how to process and deal with your emotions at home. What is it for you? For me, it's some work that I need to get done, but it's just easier for me to grab my phone.
Speaker 1:I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you if you have been using this coping mechanism for a long time. Maybe it's all year, maybe it's your whole life. There is nothing wrong with you. If that's the case, this is just for the person who is hiding from that itchiness and wants to step into that next level of confidence that they've been hiding from because they're afraid. If that's not, you don't worry. You can keep doing what it is you're doing. You can keep, you know, using your coping mechanisms in whatever way you want, but if you do want to move beyond it, today I am just asking you two simple questions Again what is the thing that you're numbing with, what is the thing you're avoiding? And if you can start to really determine what those things are, you can break them down and bite-sized chunks every single day. I'm not saying you got to put your phone away today and start a business, but you could put it down for five minutes and maybe brainstorm some ideas. Or maybe, if it's alcohol, before you pour you know another glass, ask yourself if you really want it today and just start to question it a little bit more.
Speaker 1:The thing with numbing is that we do it so mindlessly. It's an action that we take without even thinking about it. So the fact that you're becoming more aware is a way for you to kind of break that cycle a little bit more. And again, you have a choice. You do not have to put it away, you do not have to make any changes, but you do get to choose which action you're going to take. Is it stepping into a more confident version of yourself or is it taking some comfort for a little bit longer. You get to decide, and this topic might be a little bit of a heavy one, but I know that this is one piece that's really holding us back, so many of us, from stepping into that next level of confidence, from stepping into that next level of who we are, because we're just avoiding it. It's freaking scary, I hear you. So really being aware is just a step in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Okay, and we only have a few days left, like three, three days left in the 12 days of confidence. So if you are submitting your keywords, make sure you get those in before the 12th, because we are doing our draw on the 13th and this draw is for you to win your tuition to the brand new program coming out in January Confidently you. It's our 12 week program that's going to help you to solidify your confidence habits and really step into that version of you that you have been wanting and craving and really just like wanting to embody. And she is there. Okay, you might not notice it, you might think that you need to do certain things, but she's in there. We just got to, just got to dig her out and get her ready to really shine in 2024. And that's what this program is all about. All about you shining and showing your magic to the world.
Speaker 1:So today's code word is love, because I love you and I know how hard it is sometimes to love our selves. So let me love you, let me show you some love, and drop that keyword either in the show notes link, if you haven't already, or in your daily emails. You can go into your email. You can see the little link button and click that there to put all the information in for you to enter to win this really awesome giveaway. I'm so excited for this new program and maybe you're just like okay, jess, I have entered all the keywords I manifest in this win. I see you, sis, like I have been watching the entries come in. It's so fricking fun and I am so grateful that you were excited about this too. So I can't wait to talk to you tomorrow and I hope you have an awesome day.