Have you ever felt the paralyzing grip of fear when faced with starting something new? This week, I had the privilege of hosting the amazing Christy Lockhart from the Start Scared podcast, where we opened up about the rollercoaster of emotions that come with leaping into unknown territories and the beauty of personal growth. Together, we peeled back the layers of what it means to overcome perfectionism, embrace vulnerability, and the sheer power that lies in sharing your story.
In a whirlwind of candid conversation, Christy and I explored the balancing act between our personal and professional lives. We both cherish the solace found in reading fiction, seeking refuge in the pages from our bustling everyday routines. You'll hear how I keep my life in harmony – from managing a podcast to nurturing family – all orchestrated with the help of my trusty calendar.
Join us as we champion the idea of starting scared and the empowering ripple effect it has on building genuine confidence.
Connect with Chrysty:
IG: @chrystylockhart
Podcast: Start Scared: https://startscared.buzzsprout.com/
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Have you ever felt the paralyzing grip of fear when faced with starting something new? This week, I had the privilege of hosting the amazing Christy Lockhart from the Start Scared podcast, where we opened up about the rollercoaster of emotions that come with leaping into unknown territories and the beauty of personal growth. Together, we peeled back the layers of what it means to overcome perfectionism, embrace vulnerability, and the sheer power that lies in sharing your story.
In a whirlwind of candid conversation, Christy and I explored the balancing act between our personal and professional lives. We both cherish the solace found in reading fiction, seeking refuge in the pages from our bustling everyday routines. You'll hear how I keep my life in harmony – from managing a podcast to nurturing family – all orchestrated with the help of my trusty calendar.
Join us as we champion the idea of starting scared and the empowering ripple effect it has on building genuine confidence.
Connect with Chrysty:
IG: @chrystylockhart
Podcast: Start Scared: https://startscared.buzzsprout.com/
Thank you for listening to Self(ish) Confidence! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or on your social media and tag me @jess.clerke so I can personally thank you for helping spread some confidence + love!
Check out my website at: www.jessclerke.com
If you're on instagram, come say hi!! 👋👋
My Personal Account ---> @jess.clerke
The Podcast Account ---> @selfishconfidence
Welcome to Selfish Confidence, a place where we can connect and be real about how hard it is to be your damn self. My name is Jess and my goal is to help you build confidence and belief in yourself to live any life path you want, even if it's unconventional. It's time to flip off societal pressures and connect with women who've also felt on the outside by their life choices. We're here to encourage you to grab the mic and speak your truth. I know it can be scary, but we're in this together. Let's get started. Hello, hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Selfish Confidence Podcast. It's Jess here and I have an extra special guest in with me today. It's Christy Lockhart from the Start Scared podcast, and we're going to be talking about all the things that you can start when you're freaking scared. I'm scared all the time. Hello, anxiety, so I'm so glad to have you finally here, Christy. How you doing? Oh my gosh, I am so excited to be here.
Speaker 2:I'm like obsessed with you so I'm just it's just an honor and a pleasure to get to chat with you today.
Speaker 1:I'm obsessed with you ever since, like the first empower her when we met and we could connect and chat a little bit. I know we never got a chance to like, really get into it, so I'm so glad.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, A hundred percent. We just learned for both projectors introverts like hide in the corner please. Um, at those events I'm so scared. So, yes, all of that, all of the things everyone's always like, oh, I can't believe you're an introvert and I'm like, well, event jazz and like home jazz are two different things, and you can probably relate to that too, right, oh yeah for sure, and then get me in my room so I can just hide in my cave and decompress.
Speaker 2:And there's been like the first, first empower her conference I roomed with someone and then the second one I was like no, I have to, I have to be by myself, Like I can't, I can't be with other people Need space and are you like buzzy at like at it too Like, do you like feel like you just kind of like buzz a little?
Speaker 2:Kind of yeah, but I also am like constantly all up in my head about you know, do I, will this person recognize me from? You know zoom or my podcast? You know, like I'm, I'm, I don't look the same. I feel like different, you know. And so like, do they know me? Do they recognize me? What am I going to talk about? So I'm like all up in my head all the time.
Speaker 1:So I just totally get that yeah. Well, can you tell us a bit about you, christy, what you do?
Speaker 2:what you're all about and, yeah, share with us all the juice. Sure, I am Christy Lockhart. I live in a town outside of Austin, texas. I am married to my husband, frank. We've been married almost 12 years and we have three kids Malcolm, addison and Bruce. I am a teacher and I am retired at the end of the year, so I'm really stoked about that. You know, kind of leaning into my projector ways to take myself out of the full. You know nine to five it's not really nine to five, but you know full, full day work, and I am an avid reader. I read way too much. I also host a podcast called Start Scared and really I'm just trying to discover who Christy is outside of the many hats that I wear. And so that was the whole premise of my podcast that reminding moms or other women that who they are outside of X, y and Z, they still matter too.
Speaker 1:I love that so much and I think that we just don't often get a place to do that. Like I'm not a mom so I don't understand. But I do understand from a woman's perspective of just like not knowing who you are. So how did you take those steps to like starting a podcast, starting it scared and just like starting to put your life out there on blast?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So you know, oh my gosh. So you know I'm a major introvert and I have major perfectionistic tendencies and but I love listening to podcasts. I always never thought that, or I never thought that that was something that I wanted to do or could do, because of you know my not enoughness.
Speaker 2:To be quite honest, after a couple glasses of wine over Christmas break I slid into my mentor's DMs and I was like, hey, I might want to start a podcast, but I'm scared. And what am I going to talk about? Who's going to listen? And so she kind of just put me on blast, basically, and was like, dude, you have a story to tell. You wouldn't be asking these questions if it wasn't something that was weighing on your heart, like you wouldn't be asking these questions if it wasn't something that was weighing on your heart. And so I joined her podcast mentorship and I named the podcast Start Scared, because I was always scared to start anything new out of fear of looking dumb.
Speaker 2:What would people say? Would people even care what I have to say? You know, I am not an expert in anything and you know all of these, you know, self deprecating thoughts that would constantly go through my head, and the first episode that I released I probably recorded 10 or 12 times because it wasn't photo perfect, and then I was finally like you know what? I've got to just put it up or it's never going to happen, and so. But the progression over the last three years of going from fully scripted re recording all the time to not even having notes, just having a thought and idea just to get it out, and if one person listens to it, great.
Speaker 2:If 10 people listen to it, great. But my goal is that other women feel seen, heard and and understood, because I always felt like I was so alone in my thoughts, probably because I didn't share them with the world, and so I want other women to know that they're not alone and that we all go through these really hard challenges. Whether you're a mom or not a mom, it doesn't matter. We're women in 2024 and it's hard. And you know, we have all of these expectations on us and we want to do well in the things that we do, but we also want to need to remember that the things that bring us joy should be number one too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. What are the some of the things that bring you joy now outside of reading? Is there anything else Outside of reading?
Speaker 2:I love to read. We recently built a beach house on the coast of Texas and I will tell you until I'm blue in the face that I don't love going there because there's not really a lot of things to do, but it's actually like my favorite place to be and there's something about the nothingness to do that is just like a breath of fresh air and you feel like the weight is lifted off your shoulders. So I love being down at the coast, I love going to the beach sitting by the pool, I have monthly girlfriend dates with my girlfriends, and so those are just keeping myself surrounded with people who lift me up, but also doing things my introvert self needs in order to, you know, create the energy that I need to create.
Speaker 1:So oh, I love that. And how are you finding, especially as a mom of three, and I believe one of your kids has ADHD, right? So how does it work, too, with you balancing these things that bring you joy, the lifestyle that you have while being a teacher full time, while learning all these things about yourself and being a podcaster, while like just being you and making time for yourself and also caring for some people in your life?
Speaker 2:That sounds like a lot when you say it out loud. It is a lot.
Speaker 1:I'm like, wow, I don't think women realize sometimes, like all the things they have on their plate, until you like list it out and you're just like, oh yeah, I did, it's a lot. Okay, I do that, that's me, cause you're in it. You don't see it Exactly right.
Speaker 2:So my son is nine and he's he's my biological child and he does have ADHD. And, um, I always joke, since he was two, that he was going to have ADHD because he was just a wild, crazy man. And so we were diagnosed when we were, when he was in first grade, and the biggest thing was I. I want to give him the opportunities to recognize that there's nothing wrong with him. I spent so much of my life feeling like there was something wrong with me and that I wasn't enough, and I never want him to feel that way. And so we do.
Speaker 2:You know, on top of the fact that he has ADHD, he takes medicine. He does therapy every other week because I want him to learn the tools and the strategies to really cope with not cope with, but know how to handle his big emotions in an appropriate manner. And so I want him to feel loved and supported and seen and understood and get the support that I didn't feel like I had, and so I never want him to question his worth. And so those going to therapy and taking his ADHD medicine and teaching him breathing techniques and loving him through the hard emotions and you know when he's yelling and screaming and hugging him and loving him anyway, so that he knows that there's not anything wrong with him. I don't think that answered your question, but it's still beautiful.
Speaker 1:It's still beautiful and I think too, like just with like all of that, like you have a full plate. So how are we making just? If there's someone listening right now who has a really busy lifestyle, like they're on the go, they have kids, they are just full how can they find some pockets for them, or what would be some steps that they can take that can start them to do whatever it is that they have on their heart? Maybe it is a podcast, maybe it's adding something extra to their plate, but maybe it's also making some time, yeah, for themselves.
Speaker 2:I, I live and breathe by my calendar and so, like, when I I go out with my girlfriends, you know we have our monthly dinner date we sit there with our calendars to schedule the next one. So that I have it on my calendar, we have it to look forward to. We are, we are starting to like, okay, well, let's dabble into trying something new. Like we went to a med spa last week and they had some kind of grand opening something or other. So it was other. You know, something different than just sitting and eating. But we always have our calendars with us so we know when we're going to see each other again.
Speaker 2:And I think that that's really, really important is getting something on the calendar, something that you have to look forward to. And it doesn't have to be a weekend away, it can be a dinner with a friend. It can be like, if you love to read, go pick yourself up a new book and read for 30 minutes before you go to bed, like you're one setting the example for whoever is in your household that reading is reading is awesome, you know. But you know you're doing something that you love. If journaling is your thing, you know, journal before bed or journal in the morning, but I think, for me, I always felt like I had to do things and then I felt guilty if I didn't do them. And so, finding those things that do bring you joy, that make you feel like a better version of yourself, and do it your way.
Speaker 2:If you can't journal every single day, maybe journal two or three days a week, get a guided journal. So if a full page empty page is scary, you know, get something that helps you, you know. And so find something that works for you so that you are taking some time out of your day to make yourself a better human. But, like I said, don't feel like you have to, you know. Follow this prescribed morning routine, because a 15-step morning routine doesn't work for me, you know. It may work for somebody else, but it doesn't work for me, and don't feel guilty about not being able to follow that 15-step morning routine. So find something that works for you and do it your way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, yeah, I'm with you on that too. With like that 15-step morning routine, I need. It's three, like three steps if that, and it probably took me three hours to do. I'm just not going to lie to you. It takes me a long time. I get distracted. Things are busy, so I love that focus and especially, too, if the idea of like something fun to do is to go get a new book, because I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves that it always has to be social or it always is like a drink with a girlfriend, or it has to be this or it has to be this, and we see the things on social media. They look really fun. We compare ourselves to those all the time, but like it could also be something as simple as going to get a new book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my, my bonus kids, the two older ones, their mom, recently took up puzzling and she's like it brings me so much joy because she works from home and she just leaves the puzzle on her table and in her kitchen and she'll just like, while she's on a conference call she'll just walk by and put some pieces together and she's made so many amazing puzzles and then she frames them and hangs them up and it just brings her so much joy. So find something that brings you joy, regardless of what it is, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, regardless of if the world has labeled it weird or something that you know grannies would do, I am an inner granny, okay, like I like that, so I'm down for some puzzling, some reading. Do you have any book suggestions? While you're here on the topic, what's the number one?
Speaker 2:It depends on the genre. So my cousin recently got me into like a dark romance I'm currently reading Still Beating. It's got a lot of trigger warnings but it's really good. But it's really good. I read the a crown of thorn, crown of roses and thorns. I read that series. That was really good. If you like fantasy books I don't do the, I don't do personal development because I can't read them. I listened to the podcasts, so my books are usually the fiction romance fun. Yeah, throw myself into a different world.
Speaker 1:I love that. When I came from like a background that did a lot of personal development, a friend of mine was like, oh, these are my pleasure books. And I was like what do you mean? She's like it's not for work, it's not for anything. Cause I would say, like pleasure, like sexy books, and she's like, no, it's just for pleasure, like it's something you enjoy to read. I was like what People do, that it doesn't have to be like a textbook or it doesn't have to be, because I always put that negative, like boring books on, like in my mind. And then now that I read fun books, it's actually really fun. Like I stayed up way too late last night reading. So I'm like you know what? This is really nice, I'm with you, I love that.
Speaker 2:So, when it comes to the podcast, you started it, you put it out there, you put your life out there on blast. How do you make time to keep going with it? Again, I live and breathe by my calendar and so I know that, like my, my, um, my podcast episode is due on Friday by five o'clock to my editor, and so I write it on my calendar and, um, I don't have to go. My schedule changed a little bit so I don't have to go into work until 10 now, and so on days that I bring Bruce to school, I'll just hop over to a coffee shop and I'm there for a little little under two hours and I'm able to get podcasting done, you know, the editing of, like interviews or whatever, and marketing stuff, and so I just try to use that time as efficiently as possible.
Speaker 2:I'm not always, you know, I mean, we're never all, we're not always or never, but I try to be as efficient as possible because when I get home from work, I don't want to think about anything other than being here with my family. So, but yeah, like I said, I put it on my calendar and I know, like, okay, on this day I'm going to post this to social media. On this day, I'm going to post this story to social media. On this day, I'm going to um upload my podcast too. So I just I know that I have this checklist for each day to get it done, because I don't have a, you know, a lot of time to get things done. I have small pockets outside of my job, so that's how I do it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're so organized. Can you come over and do my calendar?
Speaker 2:I would love to. I don't know why, but I really like schedules and organization and that's I don't know part of. Schedules are fun to me.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I know there's. I don't know part of schedules are fun to me. I don't know why I know there's. I know a few people who are going to be listening to this episode who are going to be like, yes, christy, I am down with the schedule and I'm over here like love it so much.
Speaker 2:I'll be your assistant. You have an interview at 10 o'clock. Be there.
Speaker 1:Be there on time period. Yes, that's what I need, thank you, you can just move up to Canada. It's really great up here, a little chilly, but you know, I don't know about that. It's too cold for me. Yeah, you're. You're in the warmth, and the fact that you have a sweater on now too, I'm like girl, it's summer down there.
Speaker 2:I mean it's overcast, so it's not the greatest weather right now, but yeah it's. It's better than up where you are, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:It's sunny here, so we are going to take that as a win this week. Okay, yeah, take it as a win. There's no snow, it's sunny, we can handle it. Any sunny day is a win for sure. Yes, that's amazing. So, christy, I just love what you're doing to be supporting women and everything and stepping forward and really sharing your story with them. Is there anything? Is there a particular episode that you have? Tell us a bit about your podcast, what you share there, but is there a particular episode?
Speaker 2:too, that you can think back that maybe you were a little extra scared to put out there. Oh gosh, um. So my podcast is, um, you know, for women, for moms. I started doing it for moms, but really it's kind of morphed into being for any woman who has lost herself in the chaos of everyday life, and there have been a lot of episodes where I'll do a like voice recording on my phone and then I'll upload it and I don't listen to it again because it's, it was just one of those things that was weighing on my heart, because it's, it was just one of those things that was weighing on my heart. One of the episodes was I actually recorded it twice. It was when I announced that my dad had cancer and I wasn't allowed to say that it was him who had cancer because he wanted to keep it private. But I went off on the medical, the medical system, and I actually had to report it twice because my parents thought it was too personal, and so I was like, oh, but that one was a really powerful episode because it just was like raw, real emotion. There was another episode, right, it was. I actually reported it the day he died. Um, unbeknownst to me, he was going to die that day. Um, that was really a powerful episode because it was just, you know, like love on your people, love them hard. Um, a lot of tears, just raw emotion.
Speaker 2:Um, so there's been a lot of just being able to use it as a diary, um, but being so introverted and being so, um, you know, kept things so close to the chest for so much of my life. Um, the fact that I have this platform, that I don't feel judged, I I feel like people are, um, they're rooting alongside me. I feel very safe and I think that that's been a really something that I wasn't expecting to happen, that I ended up using it as a diary and as a journal. So a lot of the episodes are very personal and to things that are happening right now. There actually was an episode that I ended up deleting early on because it was too personal, and I won't do that now, but that was early on. So it's just like I'm able to use this platform to speak my heart and hopefully, someone feels that they're not alone and that's the whole goal. So, yeah, there's a lot of episodes that are just, you know, me pouring my heart out and just being grateful to have this platform to be able to do so.
Speaker 1:And I think that's why we love you so much, like, because you do share, so like real and raw. Like women need to hear that, they need to see women being more vulnerable, and I even feel emotional as I say that, because it's just we all think we're alone, like we all think that we're, we all think we're alone, like we all think that we're.
Speaker 1:It's just us like nobody gets it, and thankfully, people like you have put podcasts out there that people can understand and relate to and connect with and they're just like oh wait, I'm not a crazy person over here all by myself, like somebody else is going through this too, and even though it's not the exact same, the fact that you even shared some of those pieces of your family on there is like so beautiful because there's people who can connect and need to hear it.
Speaker 2:And I feel like the more honest I've gotten, the more people relate to it, you know. So, like at the beginning, I told you I used to have these scripted podcasts and you know I wanted them to sound perfect, and now it's. It's me with my ums and my you know pauses, because I'm thinking about what I want to say next, and I feel like that makes the podcast more relatable. And if people like it, great. If people don't like it, that's fine. There are other podcasts for you to listen to.
Speaker 2:But because I am so busy and because this is such a passion of mine, I also don't want it to take up all of my time either. So, coming up with a quick, short podcast episodes that may have a bullet point that I wanted to talk about and it has a ton of ums I mean, that's the person that you get if you sit in front of me too so um it. It makes it feel a lot more real and like I'm a friend, like we're girlfriends chatting over a cocktail or a coffee on the back porch, which is what I want, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, At your beach house. I'll be there with a coffee. We can read and drink coffee, and it would be just the best right, we don't have to talk.
Speaker 2:We can just go into our corners and read.
Speaker 1:That's how my, my girlfriend dreams Okay.
Speaker 2:My best friend and I. We go on a weekend trip every single December and that's what we do. We have our coffee or we have our Prosecco and we have our books and we have our beds next to each other and we lay in our beds and we read our books and occasionally we'll be like I'm hungry, should we go get something to eat? And then we eat, and then we come back and we read some more and she's got three kids and I have three kids and she's the teacher and I'm a teacher, so we're busy and so it's hard to have this weekend, but every single year we do it and it's it's life giving, and we do absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1:That sounds perfect. Yeah, like I am down. I'm down. I think I keep seeing these things on Instagram too of like reading weekends or like get away. It's just like a craft weekend or whatever, and I'm not crafty, but I could be down with doing a few crafts, reading in my book and just like chilling with the girls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not crafty either.
Speaker 1:Don't need a club, I don't need wild nights, I need chill, slow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love it. A good glass of Prosecco and my book and I'm good.
Speaker 1:Yes, a good glass of Prosecco and my book and I'm good.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love too how you talk about that perfection piece. When it comes to the podcast, cause I struggled with that too in the beginning, like if my dog barked, I'd like try to edit everything out, every like, edit all the ums out, edit like things. So so it sounded so perfectly and sometimes scripted and just I wanted it to be like the sound to be perfect, and that was a big one. I didn't want to sound like. I was just like doing it in anywhere, right.
Speaker 1:And I went to a recording studio for a friend of mine who had her podcast recorded in a recording studio. I was like that is cool, let's see what this is all about. Cause I just always have done it at home, typically sitting on my floor, like there's nothing fancy here. And I went there and they had their dog in the space and at some points like the dog was pretty well behaved, like do not get me wrong, but like he would like shake and you could hear his collar or like things like that, and I was like wait, like that's okay, like it's okay to have sound in the background, like I thought we had to, like it had to be perfect.
Speaker 1:All the sounds had to be who's going to listen to my dog barking in the background? And that was a big one for me, a realization that even in a recording studio he didn't care about it being perfect, because it had to sound also like you were a normal human being. We aren't perfect, yeah. So do you have any tips for someone who's listening right now, who wants to start something but is afraid of that perfection piece, like oh, I can't put that messy social media live out there, or that messy blog post podcast episode, you know, career change, whatever it is because they're afraid of that like, like everyone's seeing the messiness oh my gosh, I'm getting emotional because this is so me to a t for so many years that I would overthink everything.
Speaker 2:And there are still times where I overthink things and I don't post on social media, or I may not say what I want to say, and then I think about it for days later. But the biggest gift that someone has ever given to me is telling me that action breeds confidence. And if you don't start, if you don't press play on you know, posting that social media post that you want, or press record on that podcast that you want to do, or whatever it is that you want to do if you don't start, you're never going to know if it's something that you want to continue to do. Start. You're never going to know if it's something that you want to continue to do. And usually for me anyway, I don't know if you listening, if this is for you too, but for me, my worst case scenario is always so much worse than reality. I have it all up in my head that this and this and this and this and this is going to go wrong, but then, when I just put one foot in front of the other and I start, I'm surprised that it's not as hard as I thought it was going to be or it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2:So the biggest piece of advice is, if you want to do something that's weighing on your heart, you've got to take the next right step, because as you create that action, or as you do that action, it's going to create that confidence. Because as you create that action, or as you do that action, it's going to create that confidence, and then you're going to feel so much better doing it the next time and the next time. I'm three years into my podcast and never did I think that I would be voice recording it on my phone without a script, and that's just how I am now. But it's because I put in the reps and I just played around until I figured out something that works for me and works for my audience, and you know so, just action breeds confidence, yeah do it, just try, just try, even though it's really scary.
Speaker 1:Like I remember my first episode when I put it out there I was like, oh, people are going to know the truth. Like that's really scary. Well, yeah, I mean, like you hide behind a mask.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, like I wore so many different masks. And then that's why I'm like who the hell is Christie? I have no idea, because she's been this person and this person and this person. And so when people, when you ask me, you know what brings you joy, I'm like I'm still trying to figure that out. You know, I'm trying new things and testing things out, but unless you figure out or take that step, you're never going to be able, you're never going to know who you are and what you're capable of.
Speaker 1:Especially when we wear so many hats as women too. Like, where you wear the teacher hat, you wear the mom hat, you wear the mom hat, you wear the partner hat, you wear all of the things and then you're just like who, who, who is it? Who am I? Like I have no idea because I just have so many hats and I can't find the Christie hat or the Jess hat, like cause there isn't one, like we're all of those things. So when you're getting to know yourself, is there anything in particular that you do to try to figure out who you are and what you like to do?
Speaker 2:I really I think it's a hard question. That is a hard question, like I, I feel like I have been getting to know myself through getting to know other people, and so I I've spent a lot of my time like not dreaming, and you know, I wanted to be a teacher since I was five. That was the goal done and done, right. So my mentor asked me a couple of weeks ago, when was the last time you dreamed? And I'm like I don't know. Like what would I have to dream about? Right? And so, being able to be in the presence of other amazing women and having other conversations with them, finding out things that bring them joy. I'm like, oh, I think I want to try that. And so that's where I start to dabble in other things and try other things.
Speaker 2:Like I saw I've been a cheerleader and a gymnast for a bazillion years and someone was hosting an adult gymnastics class and I was like I want to try that. This was last year. And I was like I want to try that, but no, that's so dumb, like my body is so different, I don't think I can tumble anymore. Like no. And so my friend like dragged. She was like, no, you have to go. I almost canceled like 20 minutes before because I'm like embarrassed and like I'm not like I was at 18 anymore and she's like dude, let's just go, it'll be so much fun and I have not laughed that hard in a long time.
Speaker 2:I broke my finger and it was amazing. I tumbled and I did back handsprings and my body was able to do things that I didn't give it credit for. So it's like just trying new things and, and, like I said, like being surrounded by these amazing women who are like let's go try that or let's go do that, and oh, I think I might like that, and then or I find out that I don't, but it's fine, because I tried it anyway and I crossed it off my list and so, yeah, just cause I I don't know what brings me joy. So I'm trying to figure that out and surrounding myself with, you know, other amazing women has helped me find other things.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I love that. I think that would be super fun. Like an adult gymnast is like I look at, like aerial yoga and things like I'm like I think it's fun. You just have to do it, just like book the class and go, like stop being embarrassed Like everybody's new right.
Speaker 2:No one's ever done this before, or someone had to start somewhere, right Like we were always beginners at some point, so why is it a big deal to be a beginner again?
Speaker 1:Like ah, oh, I love that and I think that would just be like a fun way for you to get out and have some fun with your friends and do something totally different. So what a great, what a great idea. And I think too, when it comes to some of these things, it's just like making the time. I don't make the time, and I can only imagine adding kids into that Like it'd be really difficult to make the time. So I love that you're doing that and really just stepping into a season that, like you, get to be you, because Christie's amazing and we can see that on the outside, but like when you're in it on the inside, it's really hard to see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's, it's hard. There's going to be seasons where you know you may not be able to make as much time for yourself or do all the things that you want to do, and but they're, they're just seasons of life there. It's not always going to be like that. You know, like this year my daughter is a senior in high school and we're doing, you know, we're knee deep in senior softball and it's two days a week. We've got senior, we've got softball games, and some of her games are an hour away, but I'm not going to miss her games.
Speaker 2:So those are on the calendar, those are non-negotiables and, um, you know, it's just the season. She's almost done and then I won't have to worry about softball again, but it's not something that I want to miss. So, like, there was another adult gymnastics class that I wanted to go to, but they were Tuesdays and that's when she had softball games and I didn't want I don't want to miss any of her softball games, um, because this is her last year. So after softball then I can try, you know, go to another um adult tumbling class, but um, like said, it's just the season that you're in If you're not able to find all the time that you want to for yourself, but just putting something on the calendar is better than nothing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and, like I bet, you'll probably miss softball too.
Speaker 2:I will. I miss baseball. My, my older son played baseball and I miss baseball. It's it's so hard when they grow up, but it's so exciting too, because they just are like they're becoming their own people, with their own lives, and it's kind of cool.
Speaker 1:What a beautiful thing to watch For the woman listening right now, who is just like admiring everything that you're doing and loving on you. What advice would you give her? If you could give her one thing so that she didn't have to go through all of the struggles from you starting a podcast, all of those things if she could just like start at your best knowledge, what would that be?
Speaker 2:it's scary because it's unknown, but I always say that God didn't place it on your heart If he didn't want you to do it. And, um, being a beginner is very challenging, it's very hard, it's scary because it's unknown, but you're never going to get better at something if you don't just start. And so you know, like I said before, action breeds confidence. And know that you're not alone, because I think every single woman has been scared of something or felt unsure about something or felt not enough.
Speaker 2:So being open and honest with a trusted friend or a trusted mentor, um, with those feelings, I think, is, you know, so incredibly important, because it wasn't until I started being really honest, not just with myself, but someone else, that they held the mirror to my face that, like, this is what you're saying, is this really how you feel? And, um, that, to me, was really really eyeopening. So get yourself a trusted person to talk your feelings through, someone who will lift you up and support you. Not a, yes person, but not someone who's going to tear you down either, but someone who's going to reflect back what you're saying and support you in anything that you want to do.
Speaker 1:I love that Having those people in. I've met a lot of those people in the rooms that we've been in and like it's so beautiful to just meet these people. They're out there like really good mirror people are out there. You also mentioned, too, one last question I forgot I was going to ask. You mentioned that retirement's coming. So what's the plan for, like, post-teacher life? Do we have a plan? Do we know what we want? I'm just curious. We don't actually. Okay, cool, I love that.
Speaker 2:That is scary. Yes, talk about scared, like I'm quitting a job without an idea of what's next. But I have always known the last several years that like this, isn't it Like I'm? You know, I wanted to be a teacher since I was five. This is my 18th year. The goal was to make it 20, but that was just an arbitrary number and the last couple years I'm just like okay. Well, once I figure out what I want to do when I grow up, then I'll resign, then I'll stop teaching.
Speaker 2:But at the event that we went to in September, two different speakers basically said the same exact thing that your new thing is not going to come until you have some white space on your calendar. And I don't have any freaking white space. I work and then I do all the other shit that I do and I don't have any white space to figure out what I want to do or what, who I want to be when I grow up. And so you know I'm not saying quit your job and you know, burn all the boats, um, but that was to me the way that I could get the most white space and figure out what's next. So I don't know what's next. I'll keep you updated. But yeah, we're going to. We're going to figure it out one step at a time.
Speaker 1:Like could that be more on brand for you though? Like start, freaking scared. Like, quit your job, freaking scared.
Speaker 1:Burn all the boats, christy, and I love that concept too about space, cause I'm with you, like if we don't have space which for a lot of women we don't it's a busy. But like allowing, that is where the ideas come. And I always say to you, like if your ideas are only coming when you're in the shower, when you're driving your car, like you're doing too much. So like allowing some space and I love that you're doing that Like you just quit your job and give yourself some fricking space.
Speaker 2:Like you just quit your job and give yourself some fricking space. I know, and I was, I I made the decision in that room and, um, you know, drew a line in the sand and I wasn't planning on telling anybody until, you know, much later in the school year, cause I would never leave, you know, in the middle of the school year. But, um, yeah, I was actually you know other circumstances forced to tell them in October that I was leaving and they were like, really I thought we had you for another two years I was like thought.
Speaker 2:So too, but things change. This is what's best for me and my family, so we'll see, and I can always go back, but I don't know that I will. And I want to. You know, I'm a great teacher, I'm a really good teacher and I love teaching. It just might look different, it may not be in a classroom anymore. So, and I love teaching, it just might look different, it may not be in a classroom anymore.
Speaker 1:So yeah, you definitely are a great teacher and great teacher, for women too. So, like I don't know, maybe something changed. I'm so excited for you, and even to just hear you say like I don't know, it's beautiful because I think as women, we have to have a plan, especially someone like you who likes a schedule, like we're typically like. Oh, we have to have a plan, but like what if you don't?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and as it comes closer because my last day is May 17th so as it comes closer, I'm like is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? Is this really what I'm supposed to be doing? And I'm like, yes, it is, this is what we need, at least for a year. Give some space and, you know, figure out what you want to do next.
Speaker 1:So, so exciting. I'm always the person who, like, obsessively, asked for a sign, like is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Send me a butterfly now.
Speaker 2:I'm like I need a flashing billboard. That's what I always call it. Oh yeah, have you seen?
Speaker 1:one. Have you seen a flashing billboard?
Speaker 2:Not yet, no, but I haven't been asking for them either, but no, it's just, I just know that it's um, it's scary because but I feel like I'm I'm continuing to do what I'm doing because it's comfortable and because I'm good at it and it's safe, and um, safe doesn't feel good anymore. So that's really scary to say yeah.
Speaker 1:Safe doesn't feel good anymore. We go shake some shit up. Amazing, chrissy, I can't wait to have you back after and then we can talk about cause I know everyone's like. This is a cliffhanger, jess. Like you can't leave me on this, but Chrissy doesn't know yet, so we have to wait. We can't wait for the end of the story, but can you tell everyone where they can find you online, where they can connect you, where they can find your podcast? Yes, please.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Oh, thank you so much for having me. It was such an honor to get to talk to you. I am on Instagram at Christy Lockhart it's spelled weird C-H-R-Y-S-T-Y Lockhart, and you can find Start Scared on any platform that you listen to podcasts, and there's also a link in my bio that will take you to it, too, on Instagram.
Speaker 1:Perfect, and I'll put everything in the show notes too, for whoever's listening. They're like I need to check out Christy. I need to see what she's up to. This is a cliffhanger, and I'm just so excited to see what's coming next for you. So thank you for being here and for sharing your truth and being just real and being you Like. What a gift. It is glad we could hang out today. If you love this episode, send it to a friend or share it on your social media and tag me so I can personally thank you for helping me sprinkle some confidence in the world. And don't forget you are magic. Let's show the world your shine.